Angels of Change 2012 © GLAAD
I just woke up from a crazy dream where I feel sorry for a guy who writes a long story online, and I respond to the message thread as a "friend of the defendant."
Legal terms come about in this dream because the guy feels like he is being judged by others and is consistently histrionic in the thread.
Somewhere along the way, we meet and I am totally moved by his existence to give him ten dollars. We go to his haunt to celebrate, and along the way an Asian transvestite makes a joke about buying him a computer so he can learn English. I reply by quipping that it is now possible to learn English with an English accent.
It turns out that the guy's haunt is not accessible by normal means. You need help to get to an underground lair which looks like Starbucks. However, once there, I'm told "Your kind is not served here".
So rather than trying to fit in, I return to the surface.
At first glance, this dream appears to be a heteronormative, antihomosexual dream. Why am I assuming it is a gay dream? Why does the guy hang out in an underground Starbucks that is almost inaccessible? Why is almost everyone in the dream a guy?
What if this is a dream from a cis-male point of view about a transgender and gay-friendly world that exists only in my head?
If so, then I have a lot to learn about a wider variety of genderless male behavior, free of heteronormative conditioning. I thought for sure a start would be to question the dream because it is challenging my cis-male conditioning too.
Earlier on in the dream, I was considered to be "hostile to the witness" who I met to confirm that I am a friend of the defendant, being him. I can only guess that the reason why my brain decided to use legalese was to establish the storyline itself. Likely, this dream didn't start from the beginning.
There's a phrase that came up in this story but I forgot it because of having to think a lot to figure out this dream. My conclusion now is that this is a transgender dream from a cisgender point of view because in it, the witness / defendant goes underground to a Starbucks that is friendly to his kind while I am rejected for being cisgender.
The friendly banter between an Asian transvestite implies that I am more wealthy than other males in this dream, but does not establish my gender at all. For I could have been rejected from the underground coffee bar for either being cis-male or female or gender-neutral.
In any case, this is definitely a crazy dream because it challenges my cis-male programming. Even though this is probably not totally relevant, I took 2 grams of GABA the night before this dream. If this is what 2 grams does to my dreaming, then I'm definitely taking the same amount tonight because this dream was awesome.
For the record though, I reject any suggestion of this dream I had being anti-homosexual because I am able to think outside the box of being cis-male. Sure the coffee bar was underground and I was rejected from it, but it's more likely I was rejected for my appearance which I never check in a mirror in any of my dreams. This is why I am sticking to this dream world being transgender and gay-friendly. The bar has to be underground to make it harder for girls to get to -- which explains why the witness was a big strapping gentleman.
I'm also sure most of the men in this dream are Asian. The transvestite was Asian. So this might be considered a Buddhist limbo for the transgendered, a place where sexism still exists (if the gender of my character was female). My only question now is, why do I assume transgender people are hostile to women, gender-neutral and cis-males? Possibly because it is not a gender-neutral world.
Since the dream is seen through a cis-male filter, the gender-friendly coffee bar is underground. It makes no sense for that bar to reject cis-males, females and gender-neutral people. It makes more sense if my character was female to be rejected since everyone else in the dream was male. It cannot be assumed that my character is male, too.
Thus, this is actually a transgender world viewed through cis-male eyes. I'm not going to explain how I can conclude that my character is female, though.
I do know that the transvestite asking me to buy a computer for him is because he knows the witness.
In conclusion, I will point out that every man depicted in this dream including the barrista in the coffee bar is a reflection of my own inner psyche and the conclusion that my character in the dream is a female is thus confirmed as being the inner female that is in all men, but few men dare admit is in their core psyche for fear of being labelled gay. Maybe the legalese came out because our laws about transgendered people are so ambiguous or nonexistence but the laws about gay people are enacted in most Western nations.
In order for a world friendly to people, regardless of gender, people will have to embrace all colors of the gender rainbow, be it cis and trans, male and female, and even gender neutral.
If you think I am talking about a person's sexuality, then you are sorely mistaken. Gender has nothing to do with sex. It has more to do with transcending the gender polarity of male and female, for our current society is polarized along a gender-normative ideal of man and woman, where anything else has to fit as either a female or a male, least society become decadent.
The truth is, even gender ambiguity is normal. Therefore, gender ambiguity (being trans) is as normal as being a man or a woman. Only gender-normative zealots think otherwise. Indeed, if your naughty bits are ambiguous, then the zealots will perform corrective surgery before you're old enough to understand in Canada without any psychotherapy.
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