This is an open letter to any teenager who thinks about suicide all the time.
Sometimes when I read about a teenager wanting to kill herself, I wonder how horrible her life must be to obsess about suicide. Yet I always hold back from asking those pertinent questions out of respect for her privacy.
Instead, I provide emotional support by stating clearly that I have faith she will keep on living, despite her depression and dark outlook on her own life.
She might even write, "You don't know how much I hurt inside."
That makes me hurt inside. Just reading it makes me wince. However, it doesn't make me want to kill myself.
Why does she have a death wish? Is life so horrible she can't keep on living?
It makes me angry to see teenagers in this state of mind. Yet I know the suicidal are beautiful people who have lost hope.
"Beautiful? But I feel ugly inside."
So do things that make you feel beautiful. Stop obsessing about the dark and be embraced by the light of all the people who care about you.
You don't want to? Then, please, make the effort to choose non-violent ways of dealing with your emotional pain, including medication and therapy.
When you hurt, I hurt. You see, I used to have fleeting thoughts about suicide, but lack the guts to follow through. I am actually very glad I lack that kind of "courage".
For it repulses me to think of death as the only solution to a wretched life. Yet I carry on, because my life isn't focused on darkness, and - clichéd as it sounds - I have seen the light.
Life might not seem pretty, but it's better to remain alive, even when you hurt.
Why? Because there are more reasons to stay alive than to kill yourself. Though the best one is, you have many people who don't want you to throw your life away so foolishly.
In fact, you just telling all of us you want to kill yourself shows to me how much you want a reason to stay alive. We'll miss you if you leave so suddenly without even giving your life a chance to get through this crisis.
While you live, I feel sorry about your suffering. If you choose to kill yourself, then I will only feel anger at the fact you chose to end your life rather than finding a non-violent solution to your suffering.
I might even miss you if we had share a few messages with me holding your hand, so to speak.
However, it is impossible to pity the dead and feel sorry for the unliving. There is only a terrible loss of life, and perhaps someone I'll miss.
My only question is, "Why not love yourself?" For your life is precious enough for you to love.
However, if you think your death will make me feel sorry for you, then you're wrong. For I feel nothing but unconditional love for you from the bottom of my heart. The sad refrain that "Nobody loves me" becomes a lie because now I have declared my unconditional love for you.
It makes no difference if you reject my love; for love is what inspires me to write these words.
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