Regarding the confession of sins before the clergy by a church member, I find that what a person does in his or her home should not be aired in church, even when such a confession might be warranted in private.
This article is about confessions of sin in religion. If the gentle reader is not at all religious, then this article is still useful as a guide in being discreet when being candid with a trusted family member, friend and even a coworker or a work supervisor.
From what I have been able to understand, the clergy believes moral responsibility implies that they should pressure their members and their children to suppress natural human desires in order to enjoy a utopia in the afterlife. Additionally, some of them would pry into the privacy of one of their members, using the ruse that confession of sin is good for the soul while sometimes using the private information revealed to them unethically.
Personally, I feel that what people do in the privacy of their home is their responsibility. Airing one's dirty linens in a confessional risks the sinner being subject to invasion of privacy and needless shame. It also opens a whole ball of wax, because it's more socially acceptable to be sincere about keeping the faith than to be totally candid about personal privacy.
Indeed, a few unscrupulous clergy may have used their position of authority to make a vulnerable member compliant to what amounts to emotional blackmail, which is a violation of the sanctity of confession of sins.
It is truly unethical for the clergy to take advantage of a church member who is candid about his or her sins. Indeed, it is morally irresponsible for the clergy to force a member to do something against his or her will through the use of emotional blackmail to keep them quiet.
For this is devilish of clergy to behave in such a way, especially when it is excused by declaring that it is done for the member's own good i.e. ensuring one's destiny in the afterlife.
By exercising power and control over a church member in such a manner, the clergy certainly is not behaving ethically, regardless of any justification made.
So I would caution church members to be careful about what sins they confess before clergy. For personal privacy means that any member is free to maintain her privacy about personal questions that the church has no business asking.
Am I suggesting that a church member lie? No, if the questioning gets uncomfortable, then the church member should sincerely declare that she is not there to air her dirty linen without a supportive witness present.
It also is unethical for a witness for emotional support to side with the clergy should the member be candid about her sins. That witness' role is to provide emotional support, not gang up on the sinner.
Even so, it requires much prayer before being candid about one's sins. The clergy is actually practising a form of psychological abuse when demanding a full confession of sins with the threat that lack of candidness means a trip to Hell.
Indeed, warrantless emphasis on the destiny of the wicked as 'damned to Hell' without presenting the strong case of mercy by a loving God through repentance is itself a kind of sin that equally damns anyone else. For it is indeed devilish to needlessly frighten a church member into compliance.
This is why I would caution church members to be ever vigilant when in an interview with clergy or a member of high standing, so as to not complicate the confession process needlessly.
It is far better to confess privately to God your private sins, and pray for forgiveness than to confess about them with clergy, unless you trust them to keep your sins secret and to remain morally responsible in light of your confession of sins to them.
I am sure this is why we are selective about who we confess our errors to, lest the empaths try to shame us into repentance, which is different from freely repenting.
We are not perfect, being human. Yet there might be some unscrupulous person to abuse their moral responsibility by violating their sense of professionalism and turning sociopathic, if only to "teach us a lesson".
So be discreet about what you confess to a confident who you trust, and always be open to repentance.
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