20140831

Born Again

This article is a continuation of my daily personal testimony about my Mormon baptism of which the immersion part occurred August 29, 2014 and the Holy Ghost part occurred on Sunday, August 31, 2014.

On Friday the baptism went very well. I got baptized and as I surfaced, experienced catharsis and almost cried. Then I swiftly recovered, and later changed back into my clothes from the baptismal garment. Then, when called up, I read the poem I wrote for this occasion.

On Sunday, church went great. I received the laying on hands for the baptism by Holy Ghost, and was requested to read my baptismal poem again. Tactfully, nobody complimented me on that because there is no point in it. This is church, not Toastmasters.

Everyone who knew me, congratulated me and welcomed me to their community.

Since the end of May I have been coming to church. and right now,

Every time I attend church and Tuesday instructions, I feel like I fit in. Whether I am at home or at work, I smile more. My mood has improve greatly over the past three months.

I actually look forward to any calling assigned to me. It is not in my best interest to lose faith and sit around home feeling lonely. For I belong.

Regarding any claim by anti-Mormons that the Church of Jesus Christ and Latter Day Saint is a cult, I consciously joined the Mormons with eyes open because I know what I am getting into. Nobody pulled the wool over my eyes, and I am not fooling myself.

Honestly, being a people pleasure led to positive feedback that motivated me to improve my personal hygiene, buy a white hoodie, new underwear and socks, and wear a white shirt for church. This is because I always liked to fit in, and my fellow church members make me feel at home.

Gee, the improvement in hygiene made me wonder who I was falling in love with — indeed, it's like I am in love with the Christ. It reminds me of a dim memory when a Christian asked me, "Did you know Jesus loves you?" Yes, and I love Him. Indeed, God loves me, wants me to be successful and His desire is to bless me.

Sometimes I hear my inner voice explaining that this is all self-justification, that soon I'll lose faith, feel out of place at church, and at future church events, but it always stops talking when I confront myself mentally and focus on my memories of Friday's immersion baptism and Sunday's baptism by Holy Ghost.

At the moment I feel thankful to God for His Mercy, and His guidance, especially when I picked Luke 15 which contains the trilogy of repentance consisting of the lost sheep parable, the lost coins parable and the lost son parable. It reminds me of that part in the Lord's Prayer that goes "Thy will be done."

When I ask myself How I shall make this love for God last until my death after a well-examined life, the answer is simple: through prayer and meditation.

At the moment, i am reading Sydney S. Reynolds' article "He Knows Us; He Loves Us" in the 173rd Semi-Annual Conference (October 2003) after searching for "God loves you." Once again, it is like God is guiding me to the material to complete my daily prayer and meditation.

It is almost like I let go and let God guide me, and I really am fine with that! Thanks to God, I am a Mormon.

Now, over 9 hours after the baptism by Holy Ghost and over 28 hours since baptism by immersion, I genuinely feel like I have been born again.

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