I'm reminded of a close personal experience with my father when I was 2 years old.
I woke up one morning, and got out of bed. My dad was in the kitchen finishing breakfast. He talked to me a bit. Then he packed his lunch, and left for work.
I cried and cried, hoping he'd return.
Then my mom came into the kitchen, and told me to go back to bed.
Fast forward to my first hospital visit at 5, the trauma of seeing my parents leave in their car made me cry... Later, an older kid in the hospital reassured me.
This was how the roots of my independence began.
Now that I am an adult, and able to use hindsight, I can see that my abandonment issues might arise during periods of stress.
From experience I have discovered that the few times when I feel abandoned, I may have forgotten about respect for the divine in all things.
During those times, I would doubt that God exists. I might even become antagonistic towards the Christian church.
Even when a person doubts God exists, and thinks that He has abandoned us, God never abandons us.
More accurately, when doubt of a higher power exists, the spiritual significance of life still exists. We might explain it away — even be frightened of it — and mock people who use religion as a crutch. Still, the divine is always there, acting in our lives.
Even a faith in a harmless delusion is better than no faith at all, especially when it inspires the faithful to act on that faith to do the least harm to others.
In my case my faith in Buddhism helps me to appreciate panentheism, the belief that the universe is alive, both metaphorically speaking (e.g. the life cycles of stars) and literally (the Earth as a living organism), and that the universe is divine.
When I feel the urge, I might practice a few qigong exercises or just dance, and let the divine work through me.
