20101229: It predates all my relationships.
The moment I am gone in any relationship is when the anxiety and fear deludes me into thinking that soon this too will pass.
Then I'll choose computers or my family over turning a relationship into a marriage.
Could I be externalizing my abandonment fears by abandoning those people I love?
If so, does that mean it's hopeless? I don't know; there is little need to invest a lot of emotion regarding this quality of my love life.
For uncertainty is the most important source of my anxiety today.
Nobody knows how the drama can be avoided; I don't care if there isn't any.
For love transcends our fears of abandonment. For a brief moment in time, we are loved.
Yet no one knows what tomorrow morning will bring.
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