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Obama's Confession (satire)

Hi everyone. My name used to be Barry Soetoro. I changed my name to Barack Obama when I studied with Henry Kissinger and Zbignew Brezinski to learn how to be a puppet for big corporations and the ruling elite class that owns me which is controlled by the CIA.

Be sure to not look into my policies or you'll hate me. Cult of personality by living colour is my theme song.

I enjoy pushing for global depopulation through soft-kill weapons like vaccinations and GMO foods. When I'm not acting as a puppet for a nefarious and ruthless elite, I enjoy spinning the truth in public announcements and pretending to be a MLK cultist.

My plans for the future is to destabilize the Middle East by buying off al Qaeda via Kuwait and Saudi Arabia in Syria after facilitating the murder of Gaddafi and quietly bribing the Muslim Brotherhood after both the Libyan and Egyptian government fell during the Arab Spring.

Through our experience in both countries, we managed to depose Morsi in Egypt by not letting its military vette America's bribes given to the Egyptian MB, thanks to the satirical spin of an Egyptian comic who used to be a doctor.

We plan to keep Libya destabilized by bribing MB members of the new government and by ensuring extremists have free reign there to fill the power vacuum left by Gaddafi.

My future hope is to depose Assad in Syria and later punish Iran for thinking it has the right to be a nuclear power by negotiating a complex nuclear deal with the aid of Russia in exchange for lifting of sanctions.

My main job is advise the Middle Eastern nations on making strategic strikes against the Islamic State while it maintains its hold over northern Iraq and eastern Syria.

In the future I plan to pass the torch onto a worthy successor to the Democrat mantle who shall support the West's need for oil by putting the pressure on nations that won't share it with America.

For America is great, one nation under BigOil.

Originally posted: Nov 14, 2013 08:22 PM

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