Obama's Confession (satire)

Hi everyone. My name used to be Barry Soetoro. I changed my name to Barack Obama when I studied with Henry Kissinger and Zbignew Brezinski to learn how to be a puppet for big corporations and the ruling elite class that owns me which is controlled by the CIA.

Be sure to not look into my policies or you'll hate me. Cult of personality by living colour is my theme song.

I enjoy pushing for global depopulation through soft-kill weapons like vaccinations and GMO foods. When I'm not acting as a puppet for a nefarious and ruthless elite, I enjoy spinning the truth in public announcements and pretending to be a MLK cultist.

My plans for the future is to destabilize the Middle East by buying off al Qaeda via Kuwait and Saudi Arabia in Syria after facilitating the murder of Gaddafi and quietly bribing the Muslim Brotherhood after both the Libyan and Egyptian government fell during the Arab Spring.

Through our experience in both countries, we managed to depose Morsi in Egypt by not letting its military vette America's bribes given to the Egyptian MB, thanks to the satirical spin of an Egyptian comic who used to be a doctor.

We plan to keep Libya destabilized by bribing MB members of the new government and by ensuring extremists have free reign there to fill the power vacuum left by Gaddafi.

My future hope is to depose Assad in Syria and later punish Iran for thinking it has the right to be a nuclear power by negotiating a complex nuclear deal with the aid of Russia in exchange for lifting of sanctions.

My main job is advise the Middle Eastern nations on making strategic strikes against the Islamic State while it maintains its hold over northern Iraq and eastern Syria.

In the future I plan to pass the torch onto a worthy successor to the Democrat mantle who shall support the West's need for oil by putting the pressure on nations that won't share it with America.

For America is great, one nation under BigOil.

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Originally posted: Nov 14, 2013 08:22 PM

Recap on the Gas Attack in Syria

Early this year, evidence appears regarding Britam facilitating movement of chemical weapons and other munitions into Syria via Turkey. This has been ongoing since before Stevens is killed in Benghazi last year, using Libyan weapons stockpiles captured by Libyan al Qaeda militants.

In Syria, munitions including chemical weapons falls into a Saudi militant's hands. He gets an untrained group of militants to handle the stuff.

Militants accidentally release gas that kills 1000 civilians in Damascus.

Militants then claim Assad dropped chemical weapons, and al Nusrah vows to drop chemical weapons on Assad in return.

Obama then claims Assad crossed red line regarding chemical weapons after drawing a line in the sand in July regarding use of such weapons.

UN sends in inspectors to examine bodies and take samples of evidence left over by accident.

CIA develops cover story that claims intelligence operatives hear official cussing out Syrian chemical weapons unit which gets news coverage by massmedia outlet. Everyone thinks al Jazeerah America is a reputable new source, despite being too pro-rebel and unbalanced in its reporting of Syrian civil war.

The truth gets airtime on conspiracy theory websites mainly because the truth would subvert the propaganda that Assad gassed his own people, and thus gets debunked as "fake."

Meanwhile, the fake news about Assad is accepted as "true" just because Obama and Kerry say it's true, because they have "proof."

Well, the truth is, America is strapped for oil and just wants another country not giving it oil to give it oil.