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An Open Letter to Prime Minister of Canada (satire)

To the Honorable Stephen Harper, Primie Minister of Canada and representative of Parliament, the Prime Minister's Office and all the taxpayers of the Dominion of Canada

You asked the Canadian taxpayers to bail out the Canadian auto industry, because its investors refused to pay more taxes and because its CEOs refused to put a ceiling on their salaries.

You secretly bailed out the banking industry for exactly the same reasons but denied it was a bailout.

Instead, you let these same CEOs and investors invent the lie that it was union wages that broke the back of Big Business in Canada, despite the enormous profits which leave the country to hide behind Grand Cayman and Swiss tax laws.

If Canada has a national debt, then it is not because labour is expensive. Rather, it is because Big Business in Canada refuses to put a ceiling on corporate executive salaries and has threatened to leave Canada should Ottawa raise corporate taxes even by 1%.

In my rhetoric, I will not use math to decry corporate greed is actually ruining the country. For math has been used to justify corporate salaries and balancing the budget. It has even been used to propose an American solution to Ottawa's fiscal woes, woes which are solely because of corporate greed and Big Business' ability to corrupt Canadian politics.

Instead, I present this open letter to you, Mr Harper.

What are you going to do about the immoral act of Big Business, which collects more taxpayers' money to pay its CEOs salaries than Canada's provinces have paid to legitimate people on welfare? In fact, CEOs get money to invest in putting a roof over their business. Yet most of those CEOs decry welfare moms despite the fact that most single mothers are more deserving of provincial benefits than CEOs are of taxpayers' money.

Yes, I know that part of business profits also contribute to CEO salaries. However, raising such salaries help bankrupt Big Business because they are often a bigger expense than workers' wages.

In short, the real reason why we have a huge national debt is because your salary and the salary of all your ministers and the PMO is a bigger expense than the salaries of your civil servants. Yes, I know the latter's salaries put together may be greater than you and your cronies are getting but your current senator scandal devalues civil servants' salaries.

Why are the taxpayers now having to cover senators' expenses?

I'm not proposing a solution to this problem because it cannot be fixed without more problems arising. Instead, I propose the following should be done because it is the right thing to do:

1) Continue funding of the Vancouver Onsite project. Your rhetoric in Parliament and that of your colleagues show that the elitism of plutocrats is the main reason for continuing the oppression of the poor, many of whom are drug users and/or homeless.

2) Dissolve the Narcotics Control Act. The war on drugs on Canada has only become another attack on the taxpayers by supporting immoral actions such as Green Teams and changes to the Canadian Criminal Code which almost makes entrapment legal.

According to the changes to the act regarding marijuana, if two or more friends and I were to start a pot dispensary, then the law deems us a "gang" and our distribution of medical marijuana as "drug trafficking" with a minimum fine of $1000 and at least 2 years in jail, even if we encourage non-violence and comply with provincial law.

3) Legalize prostitution. This will stop criminals from oppressing girls and women. You cannot legalize drugs without considering making prostitution legal. This too is harm reduction in action. I would rather a prostitute lower her hourly wage to under $50 a hour and get free medical checkup for STDs than continue the oppression of sex workers by letting them ensure another day of deplorable working conditions. In fact, Canadian provincial government should apply harm reduction to prostitution.

Suggestions 2 and 3 are my solution to the national debt. It would reduce drug crime. It would reduce crime related to prostitution.

Taxes collected from medical marijuana sales can go to marijuana rehabilitation programs and pay for pharmaceuticals such as mirtazapine which is a better sedative than THC or even the benzodiazepines, except for people allergic to anti-histamines. In those rare cases, I have to ask them, "Why would you even use cannabis when inhaling too much might kill you?"

Taxes collected from prostitution can fund medical care for them and even supply the wages to the needed security guards to provide protection from sexual deviants and psychopaths. As well, it would be a good idea to put the cannabis dispensaries within range of a brothel since the prices would be so affordable, it'd be like a bank robbery if a criminal robs the dispensary and like rape if a sexual psychopath tries to harm a prostitute.

As well, you need to listen to experts on psychopaths and sociopaths and implement their recommendations. You also need to pay close attention to pundits who decry character disturbances and narcissism. Then take a closer look in the mirror and get the senators and Parliament help now!


A Canadian taxpayer, just like everyone else

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