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Teetotalism (satire)

For me, being drunk was like the first stages of an illness.

Out of past years of drinking I drank so much I recall the only three times that I had black outs which lasted up to fifteen minutes.

My very first black out happened at a public transit station in 2005. Ten minutes I don't recall. In the second black out, I rode the bus a mile and a half before I sobered up enough to get off and walk a mile home.

A more embarrassing black out occurred when I threw up after drinking in the presence of my ex girlfriend's favorite kitten in her bathroom. The next day that kitten meowed at me as to say "You scared me with your drunkenness."

Recently I stopped drinking almost sixty days ago, and don't regret having stopped.

Prayer and especially meditation help me maintain sobriety.

Before I quit, I was only having one drink with a meal. June 13 was the last time I drank. After quitting it was easy to substitute a non-alcoholic beverage for the pint of beer with fish and chips.

I even stopped ordering sake with sashimi at a sushi restaurant a few months before quitting.

Because my alcohol intake was one or less a week it was easy to teetotal.

For sobriety is the life of the teetotaler and teetotalism helps me enjoy life by not drinking.

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