Teetotalism (satire)

For me, being drunk was like the first stages of an illness.

Out of past years of drinking I drank so much I recall the only three times that I had black outs which lasted up to fifteen minutes.

My very first black out happened at a public transit station in 2005. Ten minutes I don't recall. In the second black out, I rode the bus a mile and a half before I sobered up enough to get off and walk a mile home.

A more embarrassing black out occurred when I threw up after drinking in the presence of my ex girlfriend's favorite kitten in her bathroom. The next day that kitten meowed at me as to say "You scared me with your drunkenness."

Recently I stopped drinking almost sixty days ago, and don't regret having stopped.

Prayer and especially meditation help me maintain sobriety.

Before I quit, I was only having one drink with a meal. June 13 was the last time I drank. After quitting it was easy to substitute a non-alcoholic beverage for the pint of beer with fish and chips.

I even stopped ordering sake with sashimi at a sushi restaurant a few months before quitting.

Because my alcohol intake was one or less a week it was easy to teetotal.

For sobriety is the life of the teetotaler and teetotalism helps me enjoy life by not drinking.

Humility (AA affirmation)

I just wish to be an ordinary human being. For me, the desire to be sober without humility is no different from relapse.

Humility keeps the ego deflated so that God as I know Him shine above like the sun.

Sobriety is not holiness, because humility is what reminds us that we are no better than the drinker.

The sober are able to identify with their social drinking, partying friends. Yet they no longer compare themselves with their friends because of that humility.

Why I Don't Drink

In excess, alcohol does not do the positive things that social drinkers tell us it does. Even I know that.

Since I only drank when there is drink available, and now having stopped drinking, do not drink at all, it is obvious that the right decision has been made.

My life is better when I am not drinking. It has improved because I am able to think clearly, and to reflect on each of my decisions in the present moment.

Even when tempted I do not resort to drink, because of the commitment I make daily to AA. The positive benefits of physical health due to sobriety outweigh any of the temporary effects alcohol had on me.

However, I am not perfect. Each of us has their moments of irrationality. During such moments, it may be difficult to return to the basics, i.e. remembering any of the following:

Easy does it.

Live and let live.

First things first.

One day at a time.

Keep it simple.

Yet each of these sayings will help us to pause, and to help gain one's original sense of reason.

Once we are reasonable, it becomes easy to return to the present moment.

At this point, it helps me to reflect on this phrase:
"My worst day sober is better than my best day drunk."

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Reference:
Phrases, Acronyms, and Clichés of AA: http://www.minnesotarecovery.info/literature/phrases.htm

Less is More In Action / Cheap Drunk Revisited

April 3, 2009: Over the past three weeks I have followed my "Less is More" philosophy, which consists of having one drink and stopping there to enjoy being inebriated.

After the previous "Cheap Drunk Episode", my decision has been to follow that philosophy closely, mainly due to the fact that I hate being blitzed out of my mind after a couple beers.

This is all the result of the December 6 Christmas party, where bits and pieces of what went on then were related to me by my girlfriend. Because of my sensitivity to large amounts of alcohol, and not wishing to experience an alcoholic blackout and the resulting disassociative state of mind again, it's my endeavour to get blitzed on one and only one drink!

Tonight, I have again achieved a satori-like experience after sobering up from one drink. This time it consisted of feeling rather happy and cheerful, and it's reassuring to me that I can maintain my sobriety within 2-3 hours after one and only one drink.

For the goal throughout this "Less is More" campaign was to achieve a brief period of drunkenness without any drama and with the civility and politeness of a near teetotaler, so as to show what can be achieved in the name of social drinking even following my "Less is More" philosophy.

Do I want another drink after I am under the influence of one drink?

Heck no!

Why would I ruin the inebriation with another drink which might put me over the limit and ruin the campaign by getting drunk for the sheer pleasure of it?

Since the sobering up period resulted in a positive benefit (cheerfulness and joy), I doubt that more drinks would do anything but delay the good cheer after sobering up.

Indeed, the one drink that I drink is a symbol of the "Less is More" philosophy in that I drank much less than I did on December 6, 2008 and had much more fun in the process of experiencing drunkenness including acting appropriately and behaving maturely.

It was easy to perform simple tasks such as minding the girlfriend's grandchildren, including reading Dr. Seuss to the eldest and other mundane child-minding tasks. Had I been more inebriated, this would not have been possible. For the ensuing sobriety I now am experiencing does not have any disassociative memory losses.

Given that research has shown that 1-3 drinks a week is healthy and safe, this level of drinking will be maintained because less problems have occurred from it.

So I plan to carry on my one-drink, "Less is More" campaign and live this philosophy to the fullest.