Compassionate Communication by Marshall Rosenberg

At an early age, most of us were taught to speak and think Jackal. This language is from the head. It is a way of mentally classifying people into varying shades of good and bad, right and wrong. Ultimately it provokes defensiveness, resistance and counterattack. Giraffe bids us to speak from the heart, to talk about what is going on for us - without judging others. In this idiom, you give people an opportunity to say yes, although you respect no for an answer. Giraffe is a language of requests; Jackal is a language of demands.

During non-violent confrontations, Jackal comes to us in the form of denial, distractive strategies, and dismissive behaviors. Usually the confrontations do nothing to remedy a situation slowly going awry.

In a sense, it's like Jackal controls the tongue even though Giraffe controls the mind. However, he always gives you a second chance, repeatedly.

Resolution of this form of applying non-violent confrontation is to speak Giraffe. If one's heart is embraced by Giraffe, then one's tongue should speak from the heart with patience and love.

---

Original post: February 21, 2007 2119H
Update posted: March 8, 2013 1907H

References:

Giraffe and Jackal Ears Exercise: http://seedofpeace.org/?p=815
Jackal and Giraffe: http://giraffeincblog.com/2011/02/25/jackal-and-giraffe-language/
Jackal Dictionary: http://www.wiseheartpdx.org/jackal-dictionary.html