What's a yuppontoi to do, eh? (poem)

WARNING: ANY DEPICTION OF VISIBLE MINORITIES IS FICTIONAL

'End of this month the man gonna get on my ass.
You see, I be on the dole with p.w.d.
got beat up nine years ago, july 19th,
with in and out the hospital a couple times,
finally lost my mind after march 13th, 2005.
'Hadda move in with my best friend, my late best bro.
then i slowly recovered, and finally grew up.

So listen up, and listen good:
this be the story of my 'hood, Surrey BC Canada.
It's no pretty life, or an easy life
livin' in Newton with homies all around!
no black bros from L.A., or even Brooklyn!
No, we have South Asian homies in Newton!
They're called Punjabi brothers who own this 'hood.

Yeah, Punjabi brothers done own this 'hood.
They can't shoot straight but they dance real good.
Their parents keep their sisters under lock and key,
but let the boys go out to dance and party.
Surrey girls can't leave 'em alone,
cos they got bling-bling and fancy cellphones.
Yeah Punjabi brothers own this 'hood...

As fer meself, i'm a yuppontoi.
This means i be ichiban japanese boy
who likes animé, but i ain't gay.
I like my samurai movies,
my harajuku girls on youtube,
my wasabi on sashimi - hot,
and my JPOP albums by Onmyouza.

Anyway, I left my Punjabi brothers behind
in 2006, and moved back in with my ex,
and her new boyfriend, mister TNT.
i moved out of my 'hood into ghetto Surrey,
out by the Royal Kwantlen Park by the church.
Technically, it's still Whalley, dig eh.

Back in 2008, I tried to get my head shrunk
but the man, he said i wasn't psychotic enough.
Nor was i suicidal... Aya!. What's a man gotta do
to talk to a therapist around here anyway???
I mean - look, drug addicts get an ear to talk to!
Yeah, heroin addicts can rehab
and go on methadone maintenance.

So what's a yuppontoi to do, eh?
This Japanese boy has lots to say,
but he only answers to da man's crew,
social welfare degree peeps,
government lackeys, provincial mystiques.

All i gotta say is, i'm a yuppontoi.
This means I be ichiban Japanese boy
who likes animé but i ain't gay.
I like my samurai movies,
my harajuku girls on youtube,
my wasabi on sashimi - hot,
and my JPOP albums by Onmyouza.

Yeah, Punjabi brothers done own that 'hood.
They can't shoot straight but they dance real good.
Their parents keep their sisters under lock and key,
but let the boys go out to dance and party.
Surrey girls can't leave 'em alone,
cos they got bling-bling and fancy cellphones.
Yeah, Punjabi brothers done own this 'hood...

As fer meself, i'm a Yuppontoi.
This means I be ichiban Japanese boy
who likes animé but; i ain't gay!
I like my samurai movies,
my harajuku girls on youtube,
My wasabi on sashimi - hot,
and my JPOP albums by Onmyouza.

Dozo yoroshiku.
domo arigato gozaimasu.
domo arigato gozaimasu.
domo arigato gozaimasu.
gomenasai

Dozo yoroshiku.
domo arigato gozaimasu.
domo arigato gozaimasu.
domo arigato gozaimasu.
gomenasai