In this article, I will be writing about anger and fear, from the point of view as a Buddhist. However, let me emphasize that my opinion is based on my experiences with anger and fear, along with what I know about emotions.
In context of this article, "one" refers to the self. "Others" refers to other people, such as family, friends and loved ones. Strangers are merely potential friends.
According to current social ideology, anger and fear are considered by most people to be weaknesses but mistakenly considered strengths by others.
Yet both negative emotions may be miraculously transformed into strengths by understanding two things about anger and fear.
Firstly, one has be compassionate and show mercy toward others by waiting until the heat of one's anger goes away.
Secondly, fear may be a motivator to do great things, provided that one is able to abandon it and come to terms with the anger at the core of anxiety.
Anxiety is when anger is hidden by layers of fear to protect the world from the heat of our wrath. Thus, the armor of fear becomes phobias and incessant worry that things are never right.
How could they be right when fear makes one afraid to confront the truth?
For weathful anger is not a source of strength.
Wrathful anger is not strength, for it is effective in controlling others when self-control fails.
At the root of anger is fear, which causes one to control others because he is secretly afraid of his own inability to control himself
Yet the harder one tries to control others, the less able he is to control himself.
Desperate to maintain control, he conveniently forgets that self control begins by yielding to the demand of others to be civil.
When one yields to others and becomes civil, apologies are made, anger is forgotten and forgiveness is implicit.
In the resulting calm, fear is replaced by fearlessness.
In this atmosphere of peace, the willingness to help others and be of service to them arises.
What truly motivates a person to help others and be of service to them?
Why, it is loving-kindness, the wholehearted compassion for others and especially, the willingness to let go of self-centred desires and establish ties with one's community.
For it is through love that anger and fear are transformed into their strengths, calmness and
Originally posted: July 6, 2011 at 2223H
Updated: February 8, 2013 at 2219H
1 comment:
On anger, psychologist Stephen Hayes writes: "Being in unforgiveness is like being on a giant hook.
Next to you on the hook is the person who has hurt you.
The hook is extremely painful.
Wherever you go, so does the hook and so does the offender.
The only way you can get off the hook is if you allow the offender off first.
The cost of not allowing the offender off the hook is, perhaps, a lifetime of unhappiness."
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