Sharp as a razor the mind cuts
through mental negativities, be it anger or fear.
Letting love bloom to transform anger
into calmness of mind, and fear into fearlessness,
the calm mind is free to remove all negativities.
Once free of the bondage of fear, I am ready to meet
any challenge with courage, tempered by love unconditional.
For it is love that provides the mind in keeping sharp.
What is calmness of the mind but love abiding?
What is fearlessness but love taming all fears?
Showing posts with label anger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anger. Show all posts
20150107
20140202
Forgiveness the Economy of the Heart
Forgiveness is the economy of the heart... Forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits. — Hannah More
Moderation is encouraged by forgiveness. When for anger is spent, hatred is cast away, and the spirit is redeemed.
Just as gold is refined by fire, so too do we pass through the hells of life to transcend and encounter briefly the momentary joy due to the power of love, namely loving-kindness which is the wellspring of human compassion.
Due to the working of the Primal Vow, which is enabled through the power of love, it is said in Pure Land Buddhism that the Buddhist is truly assured of rebirth in the Pure Land of Bliss.
With this mantra am I reborn there: Namu Amida Butsu.
Original posted: January 7, 2006 8:56 PM
Reference:
Primal Vow: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Primal_Vow
Moderation is encouraged by forgiveness. When for anger is spent, hatred is cast away, and the spirit is redeemed.
Just as gold is refined by fire, so too do we pass through the hells of life to transcend and encounter briefly the momentary joy due to the power of love, namely loving-kindness which is the wellspring of human compassion.
Due to the working of the Primal Vow, which is enabled through the power of love, it is said in Pure Land Buddhism that the Buddhist is truly assured of rebirth in the Pure Land of Bliss.
With this mantra am I reborn there: Namu Amida Butsu.
Original posted: January 7, 2006 8:56 PM
Reference:
Primal Vow: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Primal_Vow
20130811
I can still smell the blood (poem)
I can smell the blood from cuts
that criss cross her thin arm
like red stripes as the pain
of helpless tears at my heart.
Words of encouragement falls
on deaf ears and only silence
is returned for any concern
for her - why are you online
when all that happens in the end
is that you only have another trigger?
Yet I cannot put conditions
on my love for you, even though
your anger blinds you to it.
Why is it that I can stop from
being triggered but you can't?
It is because when you believe
in and love unconditionally,
you want to live instead of die.
Yet I can still smell the blood...
that criss cross her thin arm
like red stripes as the pain
of helpless tears at my heart.
Words of encouragement falls
on deaf ears and only silence
is returned for any concern
for her - why are you online
when all that happens in the end
is that you only have another trigger?
Yet I cannot put conditions
on my love for you, even though
your anger blinds you to it.
Why is it that I can stop from
being triggered but you can't?
It is because when you believe
in and love unconditionally,
you want to live instead of die.
Yet I can still smell the blood...
20130512
Mental Negativity is the Dark Side of Ego
Sometimes I'd rather be a Westernized Asian rather than fall for propaganda designed to create hatred against another nation, be it Japan, Germany or America.
Hatred causes and arises from mental negativity. It is but an ally of anger which is the root of all negativity.
Indeed, negativity is the dark side of the ego left in control of the mind, sometimes with tragic yet preventable results (war, famine, and other human problems).
Only patience and love will stand up to anger. As for hatred, it is transformed by love into compassion. For love has opened the eyes of people who once hated and they repented.
Within context of Buddhism repentance is mandatory after admitting your faults in front of fellow Buddhists.
This brings out humility, which helps the Buddhist vow to "think good thoughts" as Zen Master Hui-Neng suggests.
Hatred causes and arises from mental negativity. It is but an ally of anger which is the root of all negativity.
Indeed, negativity is the dark side of the ego left in control of the mind, sometimes with tragic yet preventable results (war, famine, and other human problems).
Only patience and love will stand up to anger. As for hatred, it is transformed by love into compassion. For love has opened the eyes of people who once hated and they repented.
Within context of Buddhism repentance is mandatory after admitting your faults in front of fellow Buddhists.
This brings out humility, which helps the Buddhist vow to "think good thoughts" as Zen Master Hui-Neng suggests.
20130406
On No-Thought Practice and the Five Poisons
I cannot see the point of sitting, trying to practice no-thought, when thoughts come and go.
Trying to stop my thoughts is impossible, and getting attached to stopping them only leads to mental unrest, which is what the First Noble Truth describes.
Thus, trying to stop thoughts is ignorance since it leads to the delusion that practicing no-thought leads to Nirvana.
Until a Zen master can explain how no-thought practice leads to bliss, I will stick to Buddha Recitation. It's easier to do, and practice helps me remember the Buddha.
Currently I have violated the precept on avoiding intoxicants since I am on Nicotine Replacement Therapy. Almost every time I lose sleep — often by spending more than 4 hours on the computer at a time — insomnia and the nicotine gum inspires me to write these blog entries which lack references to Wikipedia and other sources.
However, this blog entry is no different from my childhood memories: it offers no Buddhist philosophy, apart from the complaint about no-thought.
This may be how no-thought practice works: your stream of consciousness flows freely and thought come and go in your head. You make no effort to cling to a single thought. It also helps to sit quietly and not speak.
At first glance, this would be a put-off for most people who want to rein in their thoughts. It helps to treat free flowing thoughts that distract you as you do dealing with anger.
With patience and love, all the Five Poisons can be conquered. Once conquered, you control them by using them wisely. Wise use of your negative emotions requires being open about your feelings as required.
When anger arises, the wise man says:
"I am angry because of what I did not do;
This anger is transformed by love and patience
Into rising energy, leaving a smile on my face."
When fear arises, the fool says:
"I fear the consequences of what I did not do."
Then he grows quiet while awaiting punishment,
Thus causing his own suffering, needlessly.
When lust arises, the decadent hedonist says:
"Money buys me, not love. but a hooker and blow!
My motto is "Sex, drugs, and rock'n'roll!!"
This truly is the calling of a sentient being...
When sloth arises, the lazy fool says:
"I don't want to work; I just want to enjoy life."
The only time he is seen is when in the dole line.
Such a fool would vehemently deny that he suffers.
When greed arises, the miser says:
"Why should I pay taxes to the government?
It's my money, and taxation is thievery!"
He hoards his money and trades in used goods.
See how he suffers by not paying taxes.
Trying to stop my thoughts is impossible, and getting attached to stopping them only leads to mental unrest, which is what the First Noble Truth describes.
Thus, trying to stop thoughts is ignorance since it leads to the delusion that practicing no-thought leads to Nirvana.
Until a Zen master can explain how no-thought practice leads to bliss, I will stick to Buddha Recitation. It's easier to do, and practice helps me remember the Buddha.
Currently I have violated the precept on avoiding intoxicants since I am on Nicotine Replacement Therapy. Almost every time I lose sleep — often by spending more than 4 hours on the computer at a time — insomnia and the nicotine gum inspires me to write these blog entries which lack references to Wikipedia and other sources.
However, this blog entry is no different from my childhood memories: it offers no Buddhist philosophy, apart from the complaint about no-thought.
This may be how no-thought practice works: your stream of consciousness flows freely and thought come and go in your head. You make no effort to cling to a single thought. It also helps to sit quietly and not speak.
At first glance, this would be a put-off for most people who want to rein in their thoughts. It helps to treat free flowing thoughts that distract you as you do dealing with anger.
With patience and love, all the Five Poisons can be conquered. Once conquered, you control them by using them wisely. Wise use of your negative emotions requires being open about your feelings as required.
When anger arises, the wise man says:
"I am angry because of what I did not do;
This anger is transformed by love and patience
Into rising energy, leaving a smile on my face."
When fear arises, the fool says:
"I fear the consequences of what I did not do."
Then he grows quiet while awaiting punishment,
Thus causing his own suffering, needlessly.
When lust arises, the decadent hedonist says:
"Money buys me, not love. but a hooker and blow!
My motto is "Sex, drugs, and rock'n'roll!!"
This truly is the calling of a sentient being...
When sloth arises, the lazy fool says:
"I don't want to work; I just want to enjoy life."
The only time he is seen is when in the dole line.
Such a fool would vehemently deny that he suffers.
When greed arises, the miser says:
"Why should I pay taxes to the government?
It's my money, and taxation is thievery!"
He hoards his money and trades in used goods.
See how he suffers by not paying taxes.
20130319
The Root of All Evil
Those people who question basic goodness of people, yet are willing to assume all people are essential bad, see the cup as half empty i.e. wallow in their ignorant delusion called Ego.
It is egocentricity that blinds each of us to the goodness of other people. At the same time, the Ego arises due the lie that essentially all people are bad.
How then do we "cure" ourselves of seeing the cup as half-empty?
It cannot be done through intellectualizing a solution as that is merely the Ego's doing.
Instead the Ego must be pacified through love and patience, lest it wield anger to confuse each of us.
For anger is the root of chaos and confusion, and also death and destruction. Indeed, nothing can be accomplished while the mind is beclouded by anger. Any action done in anger will simply be forgotten, and each of us would have to search for the cause, which is merely the Ego vainly grasping, forming attachment to worldliness, rather than rising above it.
Though this be loathe to the religious, the Ego holds itself as God, not the person. When a person sees only evil in other people, that is a reflection of its own inherent evil. For no good thing comes from the action of the Ego.
Am I suggesting the Ego is "satanic"? No, not in the sense of Christian, Muslim or Jewish moralities.
For the Ego is free of "good and evil" yet each of us has the potential for great good or great evil.
Indeed, what we create may be deemed good if we benefit from such action, and evil, if we are consumed by the Five Poisons.
As well, the Ego is neutral throughout such actions, due to the subtle effects of the Seventh Consciousness. Thus it is innocent of evil karma, even though some of the actions of egocentric people may lead to worldliness rather than the Middle Way.
Anger/fear is the worst of the Five Poisons, and from it are derived the other four (attachment/desire, ignorance/delusion, pride, jealousy).
Anger is the root of anxiety with fear its companion. For what is done in anger is due to fear of non-existence of the Ego. Thus anger and fear are what drives a person to commit crimes and even murder.
Attachment/desire is the root of clinging to this world of birth-life-death, because it is based on the illusion of permanence i.e. the reified form of Ego known as the "soul", which is a hallucination about eternal life and immortality, both of which are superstitions.
Both attachment and desire leads to the carnal life of worldliness. It also motivates decadent hedonism, and thus promotes sloth and torpor when the Ego is not driving a person to live a hectic, fast-paced life which is unnatural.
In society today, productivity is deemed good or bad, based on the quickness to produce a marketable commodity. This commodity must be free of religion, and imbued with the essence of secularism. As well, it must have a short shelf-life. Otherwise, profits are lost when a product is long-lasting.
Ignorance and delusion are the root of the Ego's existence. As long as we remain ignorant of the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Noble Path of the Fourth Noble Truth, we are "free" to become worldly yet become fearful of loss of wealth to the point of risking our lives just to accumulate consumer goods.
Pride is cause of the Ego's downfall. When everything is "me, mine, and I", that's due to pride. For a person filled with pride becomes a braggart, and in vain tries to make himself look good at the expense of others. A wise person would cure himself of pride by developing humility not only because it serves the greater good, but because by serving the good all sentient being by being humble, we generate compassion.
As for jealousy, that is the doing of the Ego, which leads one to fear sharing the limelight with other sentient beings For those of us who has not learn to control jealousy, everyone else is her rival. As well, jealousy unchecked may lead to much evil, including the willingness to harm a rival.
It is as though all the Five Poisons dance around the Ego, as though in worship of it. In actual fact, the Ego never existed in the first place!
For the Ego does not really exist. All that exists is the conception of the Ego. In its most evil incarnation, it is called the soul, and the Buddhist principle of non-self helps the disciple to see the soul as a figment of the imagination and as a reified mirror image of the Ego.
Since the Ego does not exist, so too the soul does not exist. To believe in the soul, one would have to call Buddhism a fiction. Yet all of the Buddhist sutras confirm that Sakyamuni Buddha lived over 2500 years ago.
For it is the Buddha who declared that belief in a permanent soul that reincarnates is tantamount to the root of evil.
Why? Because it leads to suffering.
If the disciple wishes to be free of suffering, then the Eightfold Noble path is the cure.
For the Eightfold Path is the way out of suffering, and relieves the disciple of mental unrest for good.
All it begins is with taking one breath...
It is egocentricity that blinds each of us to the goodness of other people. At the same time, the Ego arises due the lie that essentially all people are bad.
How then do we "cure" ourselves of seeing the cup as half-empty?
It cannot be done through intellectualizing a solution as that is merely the Ego's doing.
Instead the Ego must be pacified through love and patience, lest it wield anger to confuse each of us.
For anger is the root of chaos and confusion, and also death and destruction. Indeed, nothing can be accomplished while the mind is beclouded by anger. Any action done in anger will simply be forgotten, and each of us would have to search for the cause, which is merely the Ego vainly grasping, forming attachment to worldliness, rather than rising above it.
Though this be loathe to the religious, the Ego holds itself as God, not the person. When a person sees only evil in other people, that is a reflection of its own inherent evil. For no good thing comes from the action of the Ego.
Am I suggesting the Ego is "satanic"? No, not in the sense of Christian, Muslim or Jewish moralities.
For the Ego is free of "good and evil" yet each of us has the potential for great good or great evil.
Indeed, what we create may be deemed good if we benefit from such action, and evil, if we are consumed by the Five Poisons.
As well, the Ego is neutral throughout such actions, due to the subtle effects of the Seventh Consciousness. Thus it is innocent of evil karma, even though some of the actions of egocentric people may lead to worldliness rather than the Middle Way.
Anger/fear is the worst of the Five Poisons, and from it are derived the other four (attachment/desire, ignorance/delusion, pride, jealousy).
Anger is the root of anxiety with fear its companion. For what is done in anger is due to fear of non-existence of the Ego. Thus anger and fear are what drives a person to commit crimes and even murder.
Attachment/desire is the root of clinging to this world of birth-life-death, because it is based on the illusion of permanence i.e. the reified form of Ego known as the "soul", which is a hallucination about eternal life and immortality, both of which are superstitions.
Both attachment and desire leads to the carnal life of worldliness. It also motivates decadent hedonism, and thus promotes sloth and torpor when the Ego is not driving a person to live a hectic, fast-paced life which is unnatural.
In society today, productivity is deemed good or bad, based on the quickness to produce a marketable commodity. This commodity must be free of religion, and imbued with the essence of secularism. As well, it must have a short shelf-life. Otherwise, profits are lost when a product is long-lasting.
Ignorance and delusion are the root of the Ego's existence. As long as we remain ignorant of the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Noble Path of the Fourth Noble Truth, we are "free" to become worldly yet become fearful of loss of wealth to the point of risking our lives just to accumulate consumer goods.
Pride is cause of the Ego's downfall. When everything is "me, mine, and I", that's due to pride. For a person filled with pride becomes a braggart, and in vain tries to make himself look good at the expense of others. A wise person would cure himself of pride by developing humility not only because it serves the greater good, but because by serving the good all sentient being by being humble, we generate compassion.
As for jealousy, that is the doing of the Ego, which leads one to fear sharing the limelight with other sentient beings For those of us who has not learn to control jealousy, everyone else is her rival. As well, jealousy unchecked may lead to much evil, including the willingness to harm a rival.
It is as though all the Five Poisons dance around the Ego, as though in worship of it. In actual fact, the Ego never existed in the first place!
For the Ego does not really exist. All that exists is the conception of the Ego. In its most evil incarnation, it is called the soul, and the Buddhist principle of non-self helps the disciple to see the soul as a figment of the imagination and as a reified mirror image of the Ego.
Since the Ego does not exist, so too the soul does not exist. To believe in the soul, one would have to call Buddhism a fiction. Yet all of the Buddhist sutras confirm that Sakyamuni Buddha lived over 2500 years ago.
For it is the Buddha who declared that belief in a permanent soul that reincarnates is tantamount to the root of evil.
Why? Because it leads to suffering.
If the disciple wishes to be free of suffering, then the Eightfold Noble path is the cure.
For the Eightfold Path is the way out of suffering, and relieves the disciple of mental unrest for good.
All it begins is with taking one breath...
20130217
The Cure for Suffering
What is ego but the self pretending it is the little god of the universe?
Yes, I know: everyone's been taught that the ideal ego is the healthy ego which is free from want and is satisfied with just enough of everything.
This is fine in an ideal world, but this world consists of suffering.
This at first sounds depressing but there is character to be built because of suffering.
For suffering with patience and love surely protects us from the ravages of anger.
I do not mean suffering is a noble sacrifice where one suffers needlessly. Even though a man may suffer great anxiety, that anxiety could be "cured" through meditation after just assuring that oneself will be reborn in the Pure Land.
It is said that to say the name of the Buddha, one will surely be reborn as Buddha.
All it takes is to utter the Six Symbols.
Namu Amida Bu (Homage to Boundless Light)
Yes, I know: everyone's been taught that the ideal ego is the healthy ego which is free from want and is satisfied with just enough of everything.
This is fine in an ideal world, but this world consists of suffering.
This at first sounds depressing but there is character to be built because of suffering.
For suffering with patience and love surely protects us from the ravages of anger.
I do not mean suffering is a noble sacrifice where one suffers needlessly. Even though a man may suffer great anxiety, that anxiety could be "cured" through meditation after just assuring that oneself will be reborn in the Pure Land.
It is said that to say the name of the Buddha, one will surely be reborn as Buddha.
All it takes is to utter the Six Symbols.
Namu Amida Bu (Homage to Boundless Light)
20130212
Anger Cured With Patience and Love (poem)
How the mood does change
From anger to sullenness,
Until this old fool
Remembers to soak the stain
with Love and rinse in patience.
To people always angry
this old fool knows well,
how fury can stain the mind
darkly 'til hope sighs
in wait of patience and love.
'Tis the worst advice
for a pop psychologist
to say that anger
is better expressed than not —
only have rage surprised her.
Indeed, the worst thing to vent
is the primal rage,
unleashed without the control
over one's anger —
'Tis folly to attempt it.
Surely this old fool
has experienced it all,
anger and rage — O!
were he to give vent, the death
would be of his self control.
With patience, anger can be
soothed with love that is kinder
than the repression
that smouldered into fire —
How soothing is Love unleashed!
So unleash your love
while guided by patience to
control the mind now!
Pity the old fool who, lost
to rage, now grows still, alone.
With remorse, his heart will burst,
and humility
has him hanging his head low,
until he rises
to meet the day's challenges
Cured with patience and love is
this old fool, again!
His rough ride through all of hell
never is worth pain
this great of sheer regretfulness.
One day soon will he
treat anger with the patience
that the lover has
for the Beloved, for Love
is the answer we all share.
From anger to sullenness,
Until this old fool
Remembers to soak the stain
with Love and rinse in patience.
To people always angry
this old fool knows well,
how fury can stain the mind
darkly 'til hope sighs
in wait of patience and love.
'Tis the worst advice
for a pop psychologist
to say that anger
is better expressed than not —
only have rage surprised her.
Indeed, the worst thing to vent
is the primal rage,
unleashed without the control
over one's anger —
'Tis folly to attempt it.
Surely this old fool
has experienced it all,
anger and rage — O!
were he to give vent, the death
would be of his self control.
With patience, anger can be
soothed with love that is kinder
than the repression
that smouldered into fire —
How soothing is Love unleashed!
So unleash your love
while guided by patience to
control the mind now!
Pity the old fool who, lost
to rage, now grows still, alone.
With remorse, his heart will burst,
and humility
has him hanging his head low,
until he rises
to meet the day's challenges
Cured with patience and love is
this old fool, again!
His rough ride through all of hell
never is worth pain
this great of sheer regretfulness.
One day soon will he
treat anger with the patience
that the lover has
for the Beloved, for Love
is the answer we all share.
20130208
Relieving suffering (poem)
through carelessness anything is possible,
even the pain of a toothache,
or the heart inflamed with a myriad of feelings,
be it anger, fear or love.
yet through meditation it is possible
to eradicate the harm caused by anger and fear,
replacing them with calmness and fearlessness,
while cultivating loving-kindness to benefit all.
Originally posted: November 18 2005 at 0137H
Updated: February 8, 2013 at 2316H
even the pain of a toothache,
or the heart inflamed with a myriad of feelings,
be it anger, fear or love.
yet through meditation it is possible
to eradicate the harm caused by anger and fear,
replacing them with calmness and fearlessness,
while cultivating loving-kindness to benefit all.
Originally posted: November 18 2005 at 0137H
Updated: February 8, 2013 at 2316H
20110831
A Wake Up Call
Around 5 AM I got woke up by an angry female voice outside who told of the story of her pregnant roommate trying to kill her.
The man who was with her mumbled his reply back — he was smart to remain soft-spoken.
After a couple minutes they moved on.
This is why I dislike being within earshot of an argument or someone raising their voices so the whole neighbourhood could hear.
It makes me wish I took my sleep aid when I went to sleep at 2 AM.
On reflection, I feel a little sheepish because I raised my voice in the past, mainly due to not letting other people off the hook first so that I could get off the hook more easily.
It is disheartening to realize that a few people make so many inappropriate choices that they are prone to anger like that.
All I can do is meditate on what I heard and pray that my journey out of unforgiveness guided by the light of loving-kindness into recovery continues.
I realize that I cannot change what I hear.
What I am able to change is to transcend the habitual tendency to react to what I hear and act on the message hidden underneath all that hurt and anger.
What that lady is actually saying is "I am hurting, and upset my roommate tried to kill me because we didn't let each other off the hook."
It makes me thankful that I've let off my family, friends and loved ones off the hook.
By doing so, it is possible to quiet anger and heal my wounded soul.
All it takes is prayer and meditation on the messages hidden in an unseen stranger's anger.
So I am grateful for this woman who raised her voice in anger, and woke me up.
After a moment's meditation, all that comes to me is: "There but by the grace of God go I."
The man who was with her mumbled his reply back — he was smart to remain soft-spoken.
After a couple minutes they moved on.
This is why I dislike being within earshot of an argument or someone raising their voices so the whole neighbourhood could hear.
It makes me wish I took my sleep aid when I went to sleep at 2 AM.
On reflection, I feel a little sheepish because I raised my voice in the past, mainly due to not letting other people off the hook first so that I could get off the hook more easily.
It is disheartening to realize that a few people make so many inappropriate choices that they are prone to anger like that.
All I can do is meditate on what I heard and pray that my journey out of unforgiveness guided by the light of loving-kindness into recovery continues.
I realize that I cannot change what I hear.
What I am able to change is to transcend the habitual tendency to react to what I hear and act on the message hidden underneath all that hurt and anger.
What that lady is actually saying is "I am hurting, and upset my roommate tried to kill me because we didn't let each other off the hook."
It makes me thankful that I've let off my family, friends and loved ones off the hook.
By doing so, it is possible to quiet anger and heal my wounded soul.
All it takes is prayer and meditation on the messages hidden in an unseen stranger's anger.
So I am grateful for this woman who raised her voice in anger, and woke me up.
After a moment's meditation, all that comes to me is: "There but by the grace of God go I."
20110823
Love is Better than Anger
"Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world." - Jack Layton, 1950-2011 RIP
20110716
Neurosis in my life
Neurosis is prevalent in post-modern society.
I suffer from neurosis, since I am now taking 11 vitamins and supplements.
The psychiatric term is "hypochondriasis."
Part of the etiology of hypochondriasis is the believe that I am taking care of my overall health by taking vitamins and supplements — mentally and physically — combined with the few medications I am taking now — cyclobenzaprine as muscle relaxant (for osteoarthrosic left shoulder and as a sleep aid) and gabapentin (for mild pain and mood stablizer).
Currently I have had two appointments arranged by my primary physician in the coming month:
with a neurologist to determine the neurological origin for the anger-hostility-aggression (AHA) symptoms related to temporal lobe epilepsy (TLE) and my history of mild traumatic brain injuries, and
with the local mental health centre's psychiatrist to test for bipolar disorder.
I suffer from neurosis, since I am now taking 11 vitamins and supplements.
The psychiatric term is "hypochondriasis."
Part of the etiology of hypochondriasis is the believe that I am taking care of my overall health by taking vitamins and supplements — mentally and physically — combined with the few medications I am taking now — cyclobenzaprine as muscle relaxant (for osteoarthrosic left shoulder and as a sleep aid) and gabapentin (for mild pain and mood stablizer).
Currently I have had two appointments arranged by my primary physician in the coming month:
20110706
Love Helps Transform Anger and Fear into Strengths
In this article, I will be writing about anger and fear, from the point of view as a Buddhist. However, let me emphasize that my opinion is based on my experiences with anger and fear, along with what I know about emotions.
In context of this article, "one" refers to the self. "Others" refers to other people, such as family, friends and loved ones. Strangers are merely potential friends.
According to current social ideology, anger and fear are considered by most people to be weaknesses but mistakenly considered strengths by others.
Yet both negative emotions may be miraculously transformed into strengths by understanding two things about anger and fear.
Firstly, one has be compassionate and show mercy toward others by waiting until the heat of one's anger goes away.
Secondly, fear may be a motivator to do great things, provided that one is able to abandon it and come to terms with the anger at the core of anxiety.
Anxiety is when anger is hidden by layers of fear to protect the world from the heat of our wrath. Thus, the armor of fear becomes phobias and incessant worry that things are never right.
How could they be right when fear makes one afraid to confront the truth?
For weathful anger is not a source of strength.
Wrathful anger is not strength, for it is effective in controlling others when self-control fails.
At the root of anger is fear, which causes one to control others because he is secretly afraid of his own inability to control himself
Yet the harder one tries to control others, the less able he is to control himself.
Desperate to maintain control, he conveniently forgets that self control begins by yielding to the demand of others to be civil.
When one yields to others and becomes civil, apologies are made, anger is forgotten and forgiveness is implicit.
In the resulting calm, fear is replaced by fearlessness.
In this atmosphere of peace, the willingness to help others and be of service to them arises.
What truly motivates a person to help others and be of service to them?
Why, it is loving-kindness, the wholehearted compassion for others and especially, the willingness to let go of self-centred desires and establish ties with one's community.
For it is through love that anger and fear are transformed into their strengths, calmness and
Originally posted: July 6, 2011 at 2223H
Updated: February 8, 2013 at 2219H
20110702
Short Meditation on Anger
In this meditation, the intent is to use both mindful practice and meditation to reduce overall arousal resulting from anger. This is to develop self-control, to take a time out, and to promote a positive attitude towards self and others.
"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." -- Buddha
Mentally let go of what angers you before it consumes you. Instead, let loving-kindness and compassion embrace you to cool the flames of anger.
By doing so, your mental unrest will subside in time.
Once your anger has subsided, during meditation, practice the metta meditation, and send kind and loving thoughts first to a family member you love, then to a friend that you trust, and finally to a person you do not know.
As the guide to meditation is the following quote from the Cunda Kammaraputta Sutta:
May these beings be
free from animosity,
free from oppression,
free from trouble,
and may they look after
themselves with ease!
Reference:
Metta Meditation: http://info.med.yale.edu/psych/3s/metta.html
Wikipedia - Mettä: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mett%C4%81
Wikipedia - Kammapatha: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kammapatha
Originally posted: August 24, 2010 2:59 AM
Edited: July 2, 2011 4:12 PM
20110506
Buddhism and Anger: Three Types of People
The Buddha said:
"There are three types of people in the world. What three?
One who is like carving on a rock, one who is like scratching on the ground and one who is like writing on the water.
What sort of person is like carving on the rock?
Imagine a certain person who is always getting angry and his anger lasts long, jut as carving on a rock is not soon worn off by wind, water or lapse of time.
What sort of person is like scratching on the ground?
Imagine a certain person who is always getting angry but his anger does not last long, just as scratching on the ground is soon worn off by wind, water and lapse of time.
And what sort of person is like writing on the water?
Imagine a certain person who, even though spoken to harshly, sharply, roughly, is easily reconciled and becomes agreeable and friendly, just as writing on the water soon disappears".
--Anguttara Nikaya I/283
Reflection on these three types of people forms the basis for the Buddhist approach to anger management.
This is helpful in putting anger in context of the situation in which it arises.
This part of Anguttara Nikaya is known to be part of the Book of Threes (Tika Nipata), called in Pali, Lekha Sutta. However, this translation is also popular in Singapore and Sri Lanka.
Reference:
Anger Management Buddhist style: http://www.4ui.com/eart/178eart1.htm
Anger in context: http://www.burnfield.net/id14.htm
Anguttara Nikaya:
Tika Nipata: http://www.suttacentral.net/disp_sutta.php?subdivision_id=61&subdivision_name=Tika%20Nip%C4%81ta&collection_name=Pali&division=AN&acronym=3&type=Subdivision
Singapore:
There are three types of people: http://sdhammika.blogspot.ca/2010/03/there-are-three-types-of-people-in.html
Essential teachings of the Buddha: http://www.alexkhun.com/drupal79/node/68
Sri Lanka
Syndrome of hate: http://www.lankika.com/?p=7451
"There are three types of people in the world. What three?
One who is like carving on a rock, one who is like scratching on the ground and one who is like writing on the water.
What sort of person is like carving on the rock?
Imagine a certain person who is always getting angry and his anger lasts long, jut as carving on a rock is not soon worn off by wind, water or lapse of time.
What sort of person is like scratching on the ground?
Imagine a certain person who is always getting angry but his anger does not last long, just as scratching on the ground is soon worn off by wind, water and lapse of time.
And what sort of person is like writing on the water?
Imagine a certain person who, even though spoken to harshly, sharply, roughly, is easily reconciled and becomes agreeable and friendly, just as writing on the water soon disappears".
--Anguttara Nikaya I/283
Reflection on these three types of people forms the basis for the Buddhist approach to anger management.
This is helpful in putting anger in context of the situation in which it arises.
This part of Anguttara Nikaya is known to be part of the Book of Threes (Tika Nipata), called in Pali, Lekha Sutta. However, this translation is also popular in Singapore and Sri Lanka.
Reference:
Anger Management Buddhist style: http://www.4ui.com/eart/178eart1.htm
Anger in context: http://www.burnfield.net/id14.htm
Anguttara Nikaya:
Tika Nipata: http://www.suttacentral.net/disp_sutta.php?subdivision_id=61&subdivision_name=Tika%20Nip%C4%81ta&collection_name=Pali&division=AN&acronym=3&type=Subdivision
Singapore:
There are three types of people: http://sdhammika.blogspot.ca/2010/03/there-are-three-types-of-people-in.html
Essential teachings of the Buddha: http://www.alexkhun.com/drupal79/node/68
Sri Lanka
Syndrome of hate: http://www.lankika.com/?p=7451
20110106
The Solution to Ego Addiction
Dialectic Behavior Therapy requires a trusted facilitator with a psychotherapy background to help the client realize that the root of his problems is ego addiction.
A brief definition of ego addiction is the unhealthy exercise of a person's ego which results in negative feelings of abandonment, grief, guilt, psychic pain, and remorse out of proportion with any given situation.
Furthermore, ego addiction may be harder to recover from, because the afflicted have only a vague concept of ego and how it arises; yet they cling to it strongly.
Easterners have a stronger concept of ego and its originations. This is why they reject psychiatry and the DSM. It also explains their belief in karma.
In the East, it isn't the ego that leads to mental illness.
Rather, it is clinging to the idea that the ego is a permanent entity to the point where one fears nonexistence, and strongly believes the self-as-neutral-observer to be a permanent soul.
For certain Easterners who have carefully studied esoteric Buddhism, the five senses and their organs are the five consciousnesses, the mind is the sixth, and the ego and that "soul" are the seventh and eighth consciousnesses.
For advanced meditators, relief from mental unrest is found by visualizing oneself as the deity (usually Amitabha Buddha) and where one is meditating as the mandala palace (the Pure Land). In Vajrayana Buddhism, it may be White Tara and her Pure Land.
Amida Buddha and his Pure Land of Bliss is actually the symbol for peace of mind.
Thus the solution to the mental unrest caused by ego addiction begins by first stilling the mind through meditation in a social setting conducive to it.
Then, as a result of dialog and practice with a trusted master (therapist), the practitioner behaves in a peaceful and non-violent manner.
20100727
Transforming Anger into Loving Kindness
Yesterday, I experienced a positive breakthrough yesterday.
Today Mom called me up to give me the challenge of "being a better person". The last time my brother was over, I didn't invite him into my home.
So indeed she did. She called me, and since I was busy, I waited until after the task was over to call her back.
Rather than arguing with her, I just responded appropriately using politeness and respect.
She told me that when my brother was over to drop off an item - what it is is unimportant to this discussion - I wanted to sell, I neglected to invite him into my home. She said that I should think carefully about my behavior, and implied without saying so that I also need to remedy the situation appropriately.
Then we concluded the phone call. Afterwards I felt angry, but decided to maintain self control.
After calming down, my response was to text message my brother "So let's hang out together sometime on your day off." My intentions were to be hospitable to him, and to invite him into my home.
Even though it turned out he was busy today, we still chatted in text messages.
Afterwards, I felt that everything was fine, again.
How this is a breakthrough with me: usually I'd get angry, suppress the anger, and then forget about it.
This time, I decided to text my brother instead of sulking afterwards. While it is not true sociability to be texting with my brother, it is better than not talking to him.
In this context, by contacting my brother and keeping in touch with him, anger that arose due to my mother's reminder to be demonstrate social etiquette soon subsided, and was transformed into loving-kindness.
Today Mom called me up to give me the challenge of "being a better person". The last time my brother was over, I didn't invite him into my home.
So indeed she did. She called me, and since I was busy, I waited until after the task was over to call her back.
Rather than arguing with her, I just responded appropriately using politeness and respect.
She told me that when my brother was over to drop off an item - what it is is unimportant to this discussion - I wanted to sell, I neglected to invite him into my home. She said that I should think carefully about my behavior, and implied without saying so that I also need to remedy the situation appropriately.
Then we concluded the phone call. Afterwards I felt angry, but decided to maintain self control.
After calming down, my response was to text message my brother "So let's hang out together sometime on your day off." My intentions were to be hospitable to him, and to invite him into my home.
Even though it turned out he was busy today, we still chatted in text messages.
Afterwards, I felt that everything was fine, again.
How this is a breakthrough with me: usually I'd get angry, suppress the anger, and then forget about it.
This time, I decided to text my brother instead of sulking afterwards. While it is not true sociability to be texting with my brother, it is better than not talking to him.
In this context, by contacting my brother and keeping in touch with him, anger that arose due to my mother's reminder to be demonstrate social etiquette soon subsided, and was transformed into loving-kindness.
20070517
Poor Diet Kills
**I am using two personal examples because I knew these people. Though I regret having to add personal details where I see fit, hopefully that gives you a more complete picture...
1. My Father
My father used to eat the most unhealthiest food, basically meat and potatoes with gravy and lots of salt and the occasional beer.
He also would respond to defiance to his authority with anger, and took delight emotionally abusing my mother.
Yet he also would have social anxiety sometimes.
Then he had a stroke in 1995 and died on May 2, 2007, age 86. He gradually faded away over 12 years.
Yet the emotional abuse continued because my mother opted for home care until he requested he be placed in a hospice.
My suspicion is that he may have been depressed all along, since men display depression differently from women.
The social anxiety and the aggression are clues that possibly diet played a role in his mental health. anger management issues are associated with depression in men.
2. My Best Friend
To add to this refutation that a poor diet does not affect a person's disposition, let me give you a brief history of my best friend.
My best friend passed away May 27, 2006, age 52, from pancreatic cancer. He'd been diagnosed circa 2004.
A recovered alcoholic, he'd stopped drinking circa 1991.
Between 1996 and 2004, I can recall that he had a sweet tooth and smoked alot, but had cut down A LOT since his heart attack in 2004.
The meals he ate contained meat and potatoes, and he explained that well-cooked vegetables cannot be determined by sight alone, he'd always been shy of cooking them.
Clinical depression is associated with pancreatic cancer, and, when the cancer impairs the pancreas' ability to secrete insulin, diabetes -- which is associated with schizophrenia.
In the case of my friend, I suspect that because he relied on alcohol for most of his calories for most of his adult life and loved sugar, that both substances mainly and possibly exposure to industrial solvents, including the use of isopropyl alcohol to relieve joint pain, and the use of painkillers may have contributed to both the heart attack and accelerated the development of pancreatic cancer.
He also had anger management issues especially with respect to social communication. Yet he evolved from having a god complex to a philosophy of "it's my way or the high way" mixed with "only the most loyal should endure my final moments".
And endure his final moments I did.
In retrospect, both my parents liked him a lot because he was sociable.
1. My Father
My father used to eat the most unhealthiest food, basically meat and potatoes with gravy and lots of salt and the occasional beer.
He also would respond to defiance to his authority with anger, and took delight emotionally abusing my mother.
Yet he also would have social anxiety sometimes.
Then he had a stroke in 1995 and died on May 2, 2007, age 86. He gradually faded away over 12 years.
Yet the emotional abuse continued because my mother opted for home care until he requested he be placed in a hospice.
My suspicion is that he may have been depressed all along, since men display depression differently from women.
The social anxiety and the aggression are clues that possibly diet played a role in his mental health. anger management issues are associated with depression in men.
2. My Best Friend
To add to this refutation that a poor diet does not affect a person's disposition, let me give you a brief history of my best friend.
My best friend passed away May 27, 2006, age 52, from pancreatic cancer. He'd been diagnosed circa 2004.
A recovered alcoholic, he'd stopped drinking circa 1991.
Between 1996 and 2004, I can recall that he had a sweet tooth and smoked alot, but had cut down A LOT since his heart attack in 2004.
The meals he ate contained meat and potatoes, and he explained that well-cooked vegetables cannot be determined by sight alone, he'd always been shy of cooking them.
Clinical depression is associated with pancreatic cancer, and, when the cancer impairs the pancreas' ability to secrete insulin, diabetes -- which is associated with schizophrenia.
In the case of my friend, I suspect that because he relied on alcohol for most of his calories for most of his adult life and loved sugar, that both substances mainly and possibly exposure to industrial solvents, including the use of isopropyl alcohol to relieve joint pain, and the use of painkillers may have contributed to both the heart attack and accelerated the development of pancreatic cancer.
He also had anger management issues especially with respect to social communication. Yet he evolved from having a god complex to a philosophy of "it's my way or the high way" mixed with "only the most loyal should endure my final moments".
And endure his final moments I did.
In retrospect, both my parents liked him a lot because he was sociable.
20070408
Dealing with Insults and Anger
When someone insults us, we usually dwell on it, asking ourselves, "Why did he say that to me?" and on and on. It's as if someone shoots an arrow at us, but it falls short. Focusing on the problem is like picking up the arrow and repeatedly stabbing ourselves with it saying, "He hurt me so much. I can't believe he did that." Instead, we can use the method of contemplation to think things through differently, to change our habit of reacting with anger. Imagine that someone insults you. Say to yourself, "This person makes me angry. But what is anger? It is one of the poisons of the mind that creates negative karma, leading to intense suffering. Meeting anger with anger is like following a lunatic who jumps off a cliff. Do I have to do likewise? While it's crazy for him to act the way he does, it's even crazier for me to do the same." - Chagdud Tulku
20051219
What is the Point of Anger?
If those who are like wanton children
Are by nature prone to injure others,
What point is there in being angry--
Like resenting fire for its heat?
-Bodhicaryavatara
Here's another translation of the above quote:
even if it were the nature of the childish
to cause harm to other beings,
it would still be incorrect to be angry with them.
for this would be like begrudging fire for having the nature to burn. -- Chapter 6, verse 39.
Background:
Nine chapters of the Bodhicaryavatara was written by Acharya Shantideva in the 6th Century, with the tenth chapter added by his namesake Shantideva two centuries later.
In response to lawlessness and repeated foreign invasion by Turks, the latter Shantideva went on to found a Buddhist kingdom in southeastern Bangladesh which lasted four generations.
The Bodhicaryavatara was translated into Tibetan, and served as an important guide to Buddhist practice within the Vajrayana tradition in Tibet.
This work details the discipline, both moral and spiritual, which a monk dedicated to becoming a bodhisattva must undertake.
Commentary:
It is pointless to be angry with childish people who hurt other people, whether through word or deed. Indeed, the wise person works on controlling her mind so that neither anger nor fear gets the better of her.
Reference:
Buddhist Studies: Bodhicaryavatara: http://www.buddhanet.net/e-learning/dharmadata/fdd59.htm
Introduction to the Bodhicaryavatara: http://www.kagyu-asia.com/t_bodhicaryavatara.html
Bodhicaryavatara: http://metaxu.to/buddhism/texts/bodhicaryavatara.html
Shantideva: http://www.shantideva.net/
The Bodhicaryavatara: http://www.bodhicitta.net/HHDL%20Bodicaryavatara%20Teachings.htm
Are by nature prone to injure others,
What point is there in being angry--
Like resenting fire for its heat?
-Bodhicaryavatara
Here's another translation of the above quote:
even if it were the nature of the childish
to cause harm to other beings,
it would still be incorrect to be angry with them.
for this would be like begrudging fire for having the nature to burn. -- Chapter 6, verse 39.
Background:
Nine chapters of the Bodhicaryavatara was written by Acharya Shantideva in the 6th Century, with the tenth chapter added by his namesake Shantideva two centuries later.
In response to lawlessness and repeated foreign invasion by Turks, the latter Shantideva went on to found a Buddhist kingdom in southeastern Bangladesh which lasted four generations.
The Bodhicaryavatara was translated into Tibetan, and served as an important guide to Buddhist practice within the Vajrayana tradition in Tibet.
This work details the discipline, both moral and spiritual, which a monk dedicated to becoming a bodhisattva must undertake.
Commentary:
It is pointless to be angry with childish people who hurt other people, whether through word or deed. Indeed, the wise person works on controlling her mind so that neither anger nor fear gets the better of her.
Reference:
Buddhist Studies: Bodhicaryavatara: http://www.buddhanet.net/e-learning/dharmadata/fdd59.htm
Introduction to the Bodhicaryavatara: http://www.kagyu-asia.com/t_bodhicaryavatara.html
Bodhicaryavatara: http://metaxu.to/buddhism/texts/bodhicaryavatara.html
Shantideva: http://www.shantideva.net/
The Bodhicaryavatara: http://www.bodhicitta.net/HHDL%20Bodicaryavatara%20Teachings.htm
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