Hello Insomnia, my old friend. It's nice from beginning to end, to go shopping until I run short of money again and again. Afterward, I count all my purchases up only to find myself with less than fifty bucks in my bank account.
For I have survived insomnia over Wednesday into Thursday after Monday-Tuesday.
Earlier today I remember getting on the bus and traveling by Skytrain to Vancouver, snapping picture discretely.
After depositing my cheque in my account, I headed into downtown Vancouver finally to find myself talking to a lot of cellphone providers' sales staffs' ears off about my Nexus 4. It's stuck in reboot hell where it still works but likes to reboot when I am about to send a post to GooglePlus, or it will reboot after I take too many pictures with the camera app. Additionally, the wireless module in the phone is not properly heat sinked so that using wireless while charging it overheats it, be it by wall charger or wireless charger.
By late afternoon, I was tempted to smoke and had one cigarette. The nicotine buzz only last 10 minutes. Later, I gave away my $1 lighter to a homeless man after handing him a tooney. It felt great, him thanking me.
On reflection, it was due to having my impulse buying frustrated by realizing that I couldn't buy a Sony sports video camera for $99. No biggie now, but out of frustration, I convinced myself that having just one cigarette was safe.
Tomorrow, when I have had a long sleep, that craving will be gone once again. If I was truly addicted, then I would have obsessed about that cigarette for hours before.
Since I have to work Saturday there is NO way I am going to lose sleep Friday night. This is no good, for if I keep this up, I could end up without a job and that is not good. The good news is, I have padded all my bills to cover for these five days of insomnia.
So it is back to a regular sleep schedule once again, which is only achievable by calling it a night by 12 AM.
Showing posts with label stream of consciousness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stream of consciousness. Show all posts
20130406
On No-Thought Practice and the Five Poisons
I cannot see the point of sitting, trying to practice no-thought, when thoughts come and go.
Trying to stop my thoughts is impossible, and getting attached to stopping them only leads to mental unrest, which is what the First Noble Truth describes.
Thus, trying to stop thoughts is ignorance since it leads to the delusion that practicing no-thought leads to Nirvana.
Until a Zen master can explain how no-thought practice leads to bliss, I will stick to Buddha Recitation. It's easier to do, and practice helps me remember the Buddha.
Currently I have violated the precept on avoiding intoxicants since I am on Nicotine Replacement Therapy. Almost every time I lose sleep — often by spending more than 4 hours on the computer at a time — insomnia and the nicotine gum inspires me to write these blog entries which lack references to Wikipedia and other sources.
However, this blog entry is no different from my childhood memories: it offers no Buddhist philosophy, apart from the complaint about no-thought.
This may be how no-thought practice works: your stream of consciousness flows freely and thought come and go in your head. You make no effort to cling to a single thought. It also helps to sit quietly and not speak.
At first glance, this would be a put-off for most people who want to rein in their thoughts. It helps to treat free flowing thoughts that distract you as you do dealing with anger.
With patience and love, all the Five Poisons can be conquered. Once conquered, you control them by using them wisely. Wise use of your negative emotions requires being open about your feelings as required.
When anger arises, the wise man says:
"I am angry because of what I did not do;
This anger is transformed by love and patience
Into rising energy, leaving a smile on my face."
When fear arises, the fool says:
"I fear the consequences of what I did not do."
Then he grows quiet while awaiting punishment,
Thus causing his own suffering, needlessly.
When lust arises, the decadent hedonist says:
"Money buys me, not love. but a hooker and blow!
My motto is "Sex, drugs, and rock'n'roll!!"
This truly is the calling of a sentient being...
When sloth arises, the lazy fool says:
"I don't want to work; I just want to enjoy life."
The only time he is seen is when in the dole line.
Such a fool would vehemently deny that he suffers.
When greed arises, the miser says:
"Why should I pay taxes to the government?
It's my money, and taxation is thievery!"
He hoards his money and trades in used goods.
See how he suffers by not paying taxes.
Trying to stop my thoughts is impossible, and getting attached to stopping them only leads to mental unrest, which is what the First Noble Truth describes.
Thus, trying to stop thoughts is ignorance since it leads to the delusion that practicing no-thought leads to Nirvana.
Until a Zen master can explain how no-thought practice leads to bliss, I will stick to Buddha Recitation. It's easier to do, and practice helps me remember the Buddha.
Currently I have violated the precept on avoiding intoxicants since I am on Nicotine Replacement Therapy. Almost every time I lose sleep — often by spending more than 4 hours on the computer at a time — insomnia and the nicotine gum inspires me to write these blog entries which lack references to Wikipedia and other sources.
However, this blog entry is no different from my childhood memories: it offers no Buddhist philosophy, apart from the complaint about no-thought.
This may be how no-thought practice works: your stream of consciousness flows freely and thought come and go in your head. You make no effort to cling to a single thought. It also helps to sit quietly and not speak.
At first glance, this would be a put-off for most people who want to rein in their thoughts. It helps to treat free flowing thoughts that distract you as you do dealing with anger.
With patience and love, all the Five Poisons can be conquered. Once conquered, you control them by using them wisely. Wise use of your negative emotions requires being open about your feelings as required.
When anger arises, the wise man says:
"I am angry because of what I did not do;
This anger is transformed by love and patience
Into rising energy, leaving a smile on my face."
When fear arises, the fool says:
"I fear the consequences of what I did not do."
Then he grows quiet while awaiting punishment,
Thus causing his own suffering, needlessly.
When lust arises, the decadent hedonist says:
"Money buys me, not love. but a hooker and blow!
My motto is "Sex, drugs, and rock'n'roll!!"
This truly is the calling of a sentient being...
When sloth arises, the lazy fool says:
"I don't want to work; I just want to enjoy life."
The only time he is seen is when in the dole line.
Such a fool would vehemently deny that he suffers.
When greed arises, the miser says:
"Why should I pay taxes to the government?
It's my money, and taxation is thievery!"
He hoards his money and trades in used goods.
See how he suffers by not paying taxes.
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