Forgiveness the Economy of the Heart

Forgiveness is the economy of the heart... Forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits. — Hannah More

Moderation is encouraged by forgiveness. When for anger is spent, hatred is cast away, and the spirit is redeemed.

Just as gold is refined by fire, so too do we pass through the hells of life to transcend and encounter briefly the momentary joy due to the power of love, namely loving-kindness which is the wellspring of human compassion.

Due to the working of the Primal Vow, which is enabled through the power of love, it is said in Pure Land Buddhism that the Buddhist is truly assured of rebirth in the Pure Land of Bliss.

With this mantra am I reborn there: Namu Amida Butsu.

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Original posted: January 7, 2006 8:56 PM

Reference:

Primal Vow: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Primal_Vow‎

Comments on Satanism versus satanism

Preamble: this article is about Satanism as the religionists view it, and how I use the term.

My use is to point to the truth of the possibility that Christians, Jews and Muslims might be "worshipping" Satan when their doctrines lead to hate crimes committed against gays and people "living in sin".

E.g. It is satanic for Jews to cheat Gentiles. Likewise it is satanic for Salafis to kill Coptic Christians while excusing their violence as "will of God".

A religionist who kills is only exercising the will of man. That in itself is not satanic. It is when a person who errs hides behind a deity who is apart from man most of the time.

Let's first turn to Wikipedia's definition of Satanism.

May 15, 2005 1403H: Satanism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Satanism is a religious and philosophical movement whose adherents recognize Satan as an archetype who all humans have some characteristics of, and Satanists celebrate aspects of human nature represented by the Satan archetype. Many Satanists do not worship a deity called Satan, or one by any other name. Unlike many religions and philosophies, Satanism generally focuses upon the spiritual advancement of the self, rather than upon submission to a deity or a set of moral codes.

Many contemporary Satanists eschew traditional religious beliefs, attitudes and worship in favor of more egoistic worldviews and practices such as magick. Groups or individuals described in some sense or another as Satanic can largely, though incomprehensively, be described as belonging to one of two unofficial sub-groupings: Philosophical Satanism or Religious Satanism.

Commentary: Satanism is more harmless than most Christian sects.

...To the Satanist, One is One's own God, and He disdains rationalist, secular humanistic beliefs which abhor the existence of the supernatural, only to promote a sterile life grounded in the 'real world' alone and in working towards the altruistic advancement of His fellow man while neglecting His own gratification and amusement. Obviously, philosophically Satanic thought has had a long history before LaVey's Church (indeed, self-centered egotism is probably as old as civilization itself), though it was the notion of Satan as the idealistic, self-seeking black sheep which inspired the title in spite of contemporary Christianity (which views him as evil because of these qualities).

Comment: Think of Satanism as magico-religious rationalization called by Ayn Rand, "selfishness".

...the Serpent in Genesis [encouraged] mankind to partake of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, saying "Ye shall not surely die: For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil."*, with the clear implication, coinciding with the beliefs of all Satanists, that mankind should know what is better for itself than any God which would forbid knowledge and self-government. Because of the common position that their faiths are in fact very old, or the oldest, Religious Satanists sometimes refer to themselves as "Traditional Satanists" and Philosophical Satanists as "Contemporary Satanists".

Comment: This is symbolic of Truth.

...The existence of large networks of organized Satanists involved in illegal activities, murder, and child abuse is occasionally claimed, often by fundamentalist religious movements. Those claims have never been substantiated and are widely believed to be false. See conspiracy theories.

Comment: ritual sexual abuse however may occur within the institution of the healthcare system, along with ritual physical abuse not only by doctors and nurses, but also by people in authority. Thus, the conspiracy theory by fundamental Christians of ritual Satanic abuse is actually a repressed memory of abuse within their own denominations and within the Establishment itself.

Thus, Satanism is about the ego, rather than about rising above selfishness to try to get to know Truth in the form of Oneness with God.

The truth that Satan represents is God = Man, rather than the eternal truth that God = Man + "Life, the Universe and Everything."

While both Truths are valid, each in their own way, the Superior man will let his head be his guide on any matters of the heart arising from the synthesis of each of them.

Thesis = Truth of Oneness
Anti-thesis = Truth of Selfishness
Synthesis = Oneness and Selfishness are light and dark aspects of Truth


In various Gnostic sects, the Serpent was praised as the giver of knowledge. Sometimes Satan was also referred to, under the names Lucifer or "the light-bringer". Some Gnostics claimed that the being declared God by Christians and Jews was in fact Satan, known as the Demiurge.

Comment: this gives a less sinister view of Satan than Christians are wont to do.

The Confusion about "Satanic"

There are many groups which are commonly misconceived as Satanic. There are two common definitions of a Satanic religion:

* Any religion that does not follow the Christian religion or recognize Jesus Christ as explained in Christian dogma.
* Any religion that consciously recognizes and worships "Satan," usually referring either to a "dark" deity (similar to the Christian Satan, though usually lacking the evil or unnaturalness associated with it) or a conceptual Satan, often referring to a so-called "true" nature of Mankind.

The first definition is most commonly used by fundamentalist Christians, and is the source of much disagreement about whether a religion should be considered Satanic or not. The most common targets of these claims are Neo-Pagan religions, such as Wicca and Ásatrú.


It is also common to see Christian denominations or even Judaism and Islam referred to as Satanic based on interpretations of the first definition. Among these Christian groups are usually the less traditional ones, such as the Mormons and other smaller sects. Also, it is not unheard of for Catholics to refer to Protestants as Satanic, and vice versa, though this is more uncommon.

Comment: Ignorance is used as a tool to misuse a term out of fear. In the case of Christians using the term "satanic", this has led to a lot of really stupid things like witch hunts.

Within the limited Christian definition, I practice a New Age Satanism by calling my religious beliefs, "Shinto-Buddhist-Hindu-Christian New Age philosophy".


Update March 12, 2013 0716H

What I actually practice is a layer of traditions, none of which are Christian, Jewish or Muslim.

Update December 23, 2013 2120H

Comment: I define satanism as behavior which leads to evil karma e.g. people expressing anti-gay sentiments are behaving like homophobes. This leads to a backlash where pro-gay activists, both gay and heteronormative criticize monotheists who are conservative about sexual mores.

However, my use of the term "satanism" is actually the closest Christian term for evil karma, which arises when confusion and conflict result from actions we do.

My use of the term "satanism" is inaccurate since Buddhists do not believe in satan or God.

Indeed the closest Buddhists get to the archetypes of good and evil is with respect to karma. A person is not inherently evil to a Buddhist. Rather, what we create determines whether the karma is evil or good. Ultimately this is not a judgement call that determines one's path in the afterlife.

Evil karma does not doom a Buddhist to the Hell Realms, nor does good karma lead to the Pure Land. Why? Because one would also have to include the karmic seeds stored in the Alaya Consciousness.

According to Buddhist folklore, a tally of good and evil karma is made by Yama or a representative he chooses to determine the destination of a person after death. However, because each of us does not know the amount of good and evil karma which came with each of us at birth, it would be impossible to determine what awaits us at death.

Speculation about one's destination in the afterlife is moot. It might even keep us from attaining rebirth in a Pure Land, if we cling to the idleness of such speculations.

Hence the term "satanism" refers not to satan or God but to the evil resulting from actions which harm oneself and/or other people. Karma is not such a big deal, be it evil or good. It is more satisfying to meditate on karma than to worry about one's destiny in the afterlife.

This is why for me as a Jodo Shinshu Buddhist, my destination in the Pure Land of Bliss is guaranteed when I confirm that destination through Nembutsu practice.

Thus the use of "satanism" and "satanic" is to make it easier to understand that evil karma is not sin but the potential confusion and conflict due to the actions a Buddhist creates that harm self and/or others, such as lying, theft, hating someone, and other acts which range from childish to downright vile.

In contrast, good karma is not due to luck but rather, to the potential understanding and "good vibes" arising from moral act such as helpfulness and giving charity.

Thus it is possible for monotheists to act in a satanic manner when their proselyting against homosexuality and common-law marriage leads LGBTIQ people of the rainbow to abandon their religion of birth for a more humanistic lifestyle free of the hangups of religion i.e. conservatism.

Faith that removes all Doubt

Faith that removes all doubt is what Amida Buddha offers.
This is why I believe earnestly in Amida's Primal Vow —

In the Infinite Life Sutra, Amida's Primal Vow is the 18th Vow of his 48 Vows:

If, when I attain Buddhahood, sentient beings
in the lands of the ten quarters who sincerely
and joyfully entrust themselves to me,
desire to be born in my land, and
call my Name, even ten times, should not
be born there, may I not attain perfect Enlightenment.
Excluded, however, are those who commit
the five gravest offences and abuse the right Dharma.

When I recite the Buddha's Name, I do so to confirm this faith through working of this Vow and the original intent behind the 48 Vow Amida made in his incarnations as Dharmakara.

---

Reference:

Dharmakara: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dharmakara
Infinite Life Sutra: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infinite_Life_Sutra
Primal Vow: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Primal_Vow

The Primal Vow in Brief (poem)

With clear recitation,
let the Buddha within call out
the Name-that-calls
so that your voice and his are one.

Even if you recite his name
but once with sincerity,
you shall be reborn in
the Pure Land of Bliss.

For as long as you remember
the Buddha, rebirth in
the Pure Land is assured!
Namu Amida Butsu!

Truth of the Name-that-calls

Calling out to Amida Buddha,
I hear Amida calling out to me
With each and every utterance
Of the Name-that-calls.

A foolish sentient being
such as this one cannot achieve
Nirvana in this Age of Decadent Hedonism.
All he can do is utter
The Name-that-calls
With the belief
that he shall be born
in the Pure Land of Bliss.

In the Pure Land
All who are born there
Sit listening to Amida Buddha
Preach his Buddhadharma,
And, according to his karma,
Aspire to become Bodhisattva.

With all the suffering
in Samsara, the Bodhisattva
vows to be reborn in
the realm where he is needed,
be it in the Hells to
rescue hell beings,
in the Hungry Ghost realm
to rescue hungry ghosts,
in the Animal realm to
rescue animals,
in the Human realm to
rescue human beings,
in the Demon realm to
rescue demons, and
in the Godly realm to
rescue the gods.

By rescuing all sentient beings
in the Realms of Desire — Samasara —
the Bodhisattva gains karmic merit
which aids his transformation
into Buddha, thus freeing him
from rebirth in the Realms of Desire.

This is why this one, devoted to Amida,
Calls out to him endlessly,
So that after this life, rebirth
in the Pure Land of Bliss is assured!
Namu Amida Butsu!

The Name-that-calls

Integral in the Pure Land tradition is Amida Buddha.

In the True Pure Land School of Japanese Buddhism are Jiriki (self-power) of the devotee and Tariki (Other-power) of Amida Buddha.

By self-power, the Pure Land devotee calls to Amida Buddha. By other-power, Amida Buddha calls to the devotee.

The calling of Amida Buddha's name is known as Buddha Recitation or Nembutsu.

Amida Buddha's promise of my rebirth in the Pure Land of Bliss is affirmed by Buddha Recitation.

When I call to Amida, it is but Amida calling to me.

This is why Nembutsu known as the Name-that-calls.

Namu Amida Butsu.

Zen and Pure Land are the Middle Way

Here is proof that masters chant in addition to zazen: http://heartofus.wordpress.com/chants/hannya-shingyo/

Hannya Shingyo (the Heart Sutra) is a Zen Buddhist chant which Zen masters and their disciples chant as part of their daily practice. This sutra was used by the Japanese Zen Master Hakuin in place of the Chinese Ch'an practice of Buddha Recitation (Nian-fo). This was done mainly to avoid the ire of the established Japanese Buddhist hegemony who profited from being intercessors between Japanese people from all walks of life and Enlightenment.

Zen practice aids its practitioners to become dedicated Buddhist practice of mindfulness, meditation being as used like a tool to control the mind.

Were they to chant any one of the Pure Land Sutras with the Bodhi Mind (determination for Buddhahood and aspiration to be bodhisattvas), if they don't achieve samadhi or Nirvana in this life, then they shall become Buddha in the afterlife called Sukhavarti.

When Zen and Pure Land are practiced as one with dedication to all sentient beings, the Buddhist who follows this mindful practice is assured Buddhahood. When belief in ekayana (one path) results in a choice between Zen and Pure Land, the Buddhist may choose between the practice of self-power (the difficult path) and of other-power (the easy path).

Why not hedge all your bets and instead of becoming only self-powered, being self-powered and other-powered bodhisattvas? Self-power is reliance on your own efforts to achieve Nirvana while other-power is based on faith in Amida Buddha's Primal Vow for the sake of all sentient beings. Thus empowered, the Buddhist who practices for all sentient beings is like a bodhisattva.

Indeed, Zen and Pure Land together combine self-power with other-power as Bodhi Mind, both to achieve samadhi in this life and to attain Nirvana in the afterlife of the Pure Land.

When one believes he is destined for the Pure Land to become Buddha, it is neither an attachment for reward nor a cheat but liberation from suffering for all sentient beings.

For all sentient beings are Buddha just as samsara is Nirvana.

I sincerely believe that both aspiration to become a bodhisattva who helps all sentient beings and determination to attain Buddhahood in this manner free me of attachment to the purported reward of the Pure Land.

May all Buddhists be dedicated their practice for the sake of all sentient beings.

---

Hannya Shingyo: http://heartofus.wordpress.com/chants/hannya-shingyo/
Nianfo: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nianfo

The Virtue of Gullibility

I believe in Amida's Pure Land of Bliss, and have faith in the Primal Vow.

Even if this was just another Jataka Tale then I would still believe in the Teaching.

For were I to not believe and lose faith, I would suffer the deluded doubt,
and my mind would become confused. That kind of suffering leads me to mindful practice of meditation and Buddha Recitation, so that I remember Amida Buddha and his Forty-Eight Vows.

To an outsider who will never study the True Pure Land School and its three Nembutsu Sutras, this appears to be a superstition proselyted to a truly gullible old fool.

However, if my mindful practice leads me to hell, then I will surely follow the True Pure Land School's founder Shinran to hell.

For his faith, and the Pure Land Sangha's faith are the same as my faith in the Primal Vow.

Indeed, Pure Land Buddhism is no superstition.

The Power of Dharma Practice

I'm a Buddhist, and have the power called Dharma practice consisting of the skillful means of Buddha Remembrance and meditation, both of which aid mindful practice.

It has the potential to burn away evil karma, and accumulate merit through good thoughts and deeds.

As a True Pure Land School (Jodo Shinshu) Buddhist, the skillful means called Buddha Remembrance (Buddha Recitation) consists of 7, 21 or 49 recitations of Amida Buddha's name (Namu Amida Butsu).

Known as the Nembutsu, it has a special name only within Jodo Shinshu circle as the Name-that-calls. For when a Pure Land devotee calls out Amida's name, it is Amida calling through her.

When I was young, I went to the Fraser Valley Buddhist temple to learn about our faith. However, as a child I was prone to taking wring action that built up evil karma.

In Buddhism, evil karma is defined as calculated actions that serve the self, and through ignorant craving, leads to the ego controlling the mind.

It wasn't until over 20 years ago, that I first started meditating.

Though, it's been only about a month since I started reading Thich Thien Tâm's book Buddha of Wisdom and Faith, and was moved to commit myself to Chinese Pure Land School and using my education as a True Pure Land School student.

Even though a few Buddhist claim that it isn't wise to study outside of Pure Land tradition, I have studied Vajrayana but only have an intellectual grasp of it. It's only been very recently that I have discovered that tantra can be practiced by one person without delving into the intimacies of tantrism.

Additionally, to help empower the mindful part of my Dharma practice, I also listen to Buddhist chants and dharanis, along with Hindu Veerashaivist chants.

My Buddhist chants and dharani playlist consists of:

• Amitabhâ Buddha Dharani and Mantra,
  
• Buddha Bar Meditative Music,
  
• Shingon Buddhist Chant,
  
• Karanda Mudra Dharani by Ani Choying,
  
• Mantra of Avalokitshvara (a Tibetan incantation), and
  
• Relaxing Buddhist Music

My Veerashaivist chants playlist consists of

• Akka Mahadevi Vachana,
  
• Rudram,
  
• Skanda Sashti Kavacham (sung by the Soolamangalam Sisters), and
  
• Vachanadalli Nâmâmruta Tunbi (sung by Sangeeta Katti)

And just for variety, while not distinctly Buddhist, I listen to the Yoshida Brother's Ibuki and to Yoshida Kiyoshi's Rising Sun, since I find music using the three-stringed shamisen to be pleasing to the ear, and very invigorating.

As well, I also have started a music hobby in which I remix music of the Experimental genre. After creating each of my songs, I take pictures to compile into a video to be used with that particular song. Often though, the video portion does not match the music.

Currently I am thankful to Thich Thien Tâm for writing Buddhism of Wisdom and Faith, which has inspired me to recommit to my Buddhist faith. As a result of reading his book, I have a strong faith in the Primal Vow, and sincerely believe in Amida Buddha's Pure Land of Bliss.

Meditation at Work Pays Off

Homage to the Buddha, the Dharma and the Sangha.

Earlier this morning, I worked from midnight until 6 AM.

Afterwards, I felt my emotions and feeling with a freshness that happens after being up all night, being of service to my boss.

Work consisted of patrolling an underground parkade.

In between each other, I decided halfway through the shift to meditate, specifically breath meditation. Additionally, I also quietly chanted the Nembutsu after finishing the final patrol.

Later, on the bus home I felt sad that my roommate is back under psychiatric care temporarily.

Then it happened: the same joy I had experienced last month.

This joy though had a loving-kindness touch to it. Yet I cannot discount it as the result of fatigue.

Because I put my sincere faith in Amida Buddha's Primal Vow and belief in rebirth in the Pure Land, this explains how meditation for three hours resulted in the pure joy that loving-kindness causes bubble out of my heart-mind.

Through meditation, the heart of feelings was brought closer to the mind of reason to become one as the heart-mind.

After Buddha Recitation (Buddha Remembrance by chanting the Nembutsu - Namu Amida Butsu), the heart-mind became Bodhi Mind.

Arising from the Bodhi Mind came this joy, all due to loving-kindness.

Once again, meditation and Buddha Recitation in earnest results in liberation from repression and introversion for this follower of Amida Buddha.

In giving homage to Amida Buddha's boundless life of compassion and boundless light of wisdom, Buddha Remembrance set my heart-mind free.

Now this follower of Amida is humbled, for this joy arose out of loving-kindness due to the Name-that-calls!

Namu Amida Buddha!

Ordinary Mind, Original Nature and Self Nature True Mind

What is ordinary mind?
Ordinary mind is the mind
you were born with, subject
to cause and effect, which
is called Monkey Mind,
due to it swinging from
thought to thought mindlessly.

What is original nature?
The basic goodness everyone is
born with, yet is hidden
by the action of Monkey Mind.
Original nature is Self Nature,
which can be uncovered through
meditation and Buddha Remembrance.

What is Self Nature True Mind?
Self Nature is original nature,
and True Mind is buddha-mind.
Thus True Mind is awakened
to its original nature.

Buddha Remembrance Works!

As a Pure Land Buddhist, I am not concerned with personal liberation like the Zen masters are. For that is self power (jiriki).

Rather, I am concerned with the liberation of all sentient beings by uttering the Name-that-calls (Nembutsu) in Buddha Remembrance. This is known as other power (tariki).

Buddha Remembrance is Nembutsu practice in which the follower chants the name of Amida Buddha mindfully with utmost sincerity and gratitude. Since most people may not be able to visualize the Pure Land or Amida himself, they still possess gratitude and sincerity.

Often when I practice Buddha Remembrance, I do so in short bursts to avoid entering a trance. It is important to beware of this since a trance-like state of mind may be mistaken for samadhi (mental concentration or composing of the mind).

For example, yesterday I experienced a calm state of mind, and although there was self doubt, it was easy to let go of those feelings and return to that feeling of calm.
During this time, I was at the library studying Buddhism.

You might think I learned something, and I did: the academic works of Pure Land by the Chinese Buddhist Buddhist Education Foundation are more to my liking.

For I'm not totally into Vajrayana even though some of my blog posts refer to it.

My skepticism of Vajrayana is based on Chogyam Trungpa's lifestyle and how it affected his ability to carefully pick his successor. In all fairness, it boggles the mind that Shambhala members would condone what happened, but they weathered it well.

Nor am I really into Theravada since it had the wrong idea about Mahayana. Even Zen masters are equally wrong-minded. For Mahayana is not cheating nor does it promote Nirvana, the Pure Land, or even Tusita Heaven as a reward for their respective practices.

Anyway, after my aborted attempt to find a good Buddhist book to read, I walked to the mall and had lunch. During the time I was there, I experienced this joy that comes to me more often these days.

It is because I've been doing short bursts of Buddha Remembrance consisting of silently chanting the Nembutsu (Namu Amida Butsu or the shortened version Nam'Am'da') ten to twenty times, counting them off one finger at a time.

Hey, I only have ten fingers!

---

To reference some words in this text, click on the labels below. If you're a novice at using Blogspot, the labels are in colored text and link to other blog posts.

Samadhi: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sam%C4%81dhi_%28Buddhism%29
Chogyam Trungpa: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ch%C3%B6gyam_Trungpa

My Spiritual Path

This old fool (pointing to self)
is now Pure Land Zen,
the path on which the Chinese
tread, empty of mu
But full of loving-kindness.

How is it empty
of mu? Chant the Name-that-calls,
this one does each day.
Yet such practice is empty
of reward and full of joy!

Born into True Pure Land School,
this old fool did stray
while growing up, and by chance
in a book store did
he discover Master Tâm.

Of Wisdom and Faith,
this Buddhism is so full
that with each reading,
this fool is filled with pleasure
at renewing his pure vow:

Namu Amida Butsu!

Six More Sessions with the Psychotherapist

August 30, 2011: That means twelve more weeks of therapy (about 3 months).

So from November, I shall be on my own to cope with depression and anxiety, the result of the social isolation which starts around this time of year.

Though, my experience since age 2 has shown to me that the anxiety was learned from my parents, along with the depression from my mother.

While this is discounted by most people, I know it to be true for me.

This truth has freed me from believing that anxiety and depression are solely a biochemical reaction to longer nights and shorter days.

Instead, I feel that the social isolation is most likely a defense mechanism complicated by social anxiety.

Currently I feel fatigued, yet am willing to pause and reflect on the pluses for today.

Overall I am satisfied with the service I obtained from my local mental health centre.

Update 20130203.1213:

It now has been a year and four months since the end of psychotherapy at the local mental health centre.

Things have improved immensely since my medication was changed to gabapentin (200 mg twice a day) and cyclobenzaprine (10 mg at bedtime as needed).

In addition, it has been a couple weeks since finding and buying the following books:

• Buddhism of Wisdom and Faith by Thich Thien Tâm.
  
• Buddhism: An Introductory Guide to the Buddhist Tradition by John Snelling.
  
• afterzen: Experiences of a Zen Student Out on His Ear by Janwillem van de Wetering.
  

As for my behavior since getting those books, it improved immensely. Though I did commit errors due to the remnants of egocentricity, which arises when negativities unsettles my mind.

Sometimes my fears get the best of me. For example, yesterday I was called in to work to fill un for another worker who'd fallen ill due to stress.

When my shift supervisor called me, he passed on information on the night shift building security guard that he was of the opinion that the security company I work for was inferior to the company that he's worked for all his career.

Fearing having to meet up with him, I decided to drop off the key fob assigned to me by the day shift guard at the desk, unsecured and vulnerable to theft.

While meeting with the night shift guard, he said I should return the fob to him. When I indicated that I'd left it at the desk in an unsecured manner, he left to recover it.

Later on, he came down to ask if I had been in the stairwells since the sensors had alerted him to possible breaches in security. In response to his inquiry, I stated that I have never entered any of the stairwells that night. His reaction was to cuss under his breath, as he was expecting a curt "Yes Sir!" rather than what sounds like an excuse.

Overall though, despite being alerted of frequent friction with the night guard, I actually only saw him twice all night. Based on the gender of the worker I replaced early this morning from midnight to six, I suspect that he might have a hint of misogyny along with the associated egocentricity.

In my way of thinking, putting down another company to make the company you work for seem superior hints of a dysfunctional ego clinging to inferior and superior.

How unnecessary are comparisons!

Later on that night, while I was meditating, I made a point of placing both hands together to meditate on what I learned from the night guard.

Since my meditation is done for the benefit of all sentient beings, including myself, I am certain that the evil karma (misunderstanding instruction about the key fob) was burned off through Buddhist Recitation and meditation.

As you can see, the Buddhist practice of Buddha Remembrance and breath meditation are my two main forms of self-help which benefit not only me but all sentient beings.

However, I am not so vain as to believe Buddhism is superior to psychotherapy due to my "lone wolf" practice.

Chinese Pure Land Buddhist retreats will not help me as I am unable to sit zazen. However, I am sure that Google Plus actually has a wide spectrum of spiritually deep members.

In conclusion, this humble blogger (points to self) makes use of the Buddhist practice of book learning in addition to Buddha Recitation and breath meditation as self-help tools. For these tools help reduce anxiety and depression, but they uncover pure joy arising from the awakening of Bodhi Mind.

I am grateful to the Buddha for his Dharma, to Amida Buddha for the Pure Land where I will be reborn on death, and especially to Shinran Shonin for founding his True Pure Land Buddhism.

Thank you for reading this blog post!

Seasonal Affective Disorder

June 15, 2010: It's the middle of June now, and I'd like to be prepared for the onset of SAD now when I am at my highest.

That means for the month of September, I'll see if the mirtazapine makes a difference.

While on this med, I do not mistake the fatigue for depression.

Currently, the changes in sleep pattern appear to mimic the changes in sleep pattern I would undergo during the longer days of summer.

Tho I enjoy sleeping more than usual, both because of the medication and because it's a healthy hobby! :p YMMV

IMHO the best way to beat SAD is to make sure that I have plenty to do in the fall and winter. Being on-line 24/7 does not healthily preoccupy my time.

My plan during the summer is to study Vajrayana, and get involved in the Buddhist community outside Jodo Shinshu.

Hopefully by the fall I'll see how committed I am to this path because it would preoccupy my time during the winter.

Update: 20130124.1820

Over the course of two years since the original post, I veered back to Pure Land Buddhism, of the Chinese flavor mixed with True Pure Land school.

My medication also has been reduced to gabapentin and cyclobenzaprine with good results for sedation and sleep architecture.

For about six months I even tried out Baptist.

Yet I always return to Pure Land since I grew up on it. It's just like when I try to pray, I return to the Nembutsu.

Recently I have affirmed my commitment to Amida Buddha. Over the past month, Buddha Remembrance has resulted in focus, joy, and peace of mind.

As a result of these improvements I've noticed that meditation has resulted in one-pointedness of mind due to ease of focus. This has improved my mood, resulting in more experiences akin to pure joy. Due to ease of focus during meditation, I have also achieved peace of mind.

For focus is related to pure concentration in meditation; joy, the fruit of concentration; and peace of mind, the essence of clarity of mind. The improvement in my mood has allowed me to enjoy being outside, riding transit while on errands.

Overall, I have managed Seasonal Affective Disorder through the use of meditation and regular exercise.

Great Compassion Meditation

In Shin Buddhism, "all beings have the potential of becoming Buddha" means that all beings in the universe are embraced and enfolded in the Great Compassion of Amida Buddha. — Takamaro Shigaraki

Empowered by Amida's Great Compassion, all beings realize Pure Mind. Realizing Pure Mind, they compassionately share loving-kindness with all other beings. Sharing loving-kindness, all beings are of the same mind empowered by Amida's Great Compassion.

---

Notes:
"Shin Buddhism" is also known as Jodo Shinsu or True Pure Land School.
"all beings" refers to all sentient beings.
"the same mind" refers to Bodhi Mind.

Takamaro Shigaraki, What is Shin Buddhism, Chapter VII Great Compassion: http://www.bffct.net/id58.html

What Deep Mind is

The Collected Works of Shinran Shorter Works Gutoku's Notes 2: "Deep mind is the deeply entrusting mind. There are two aspects. The first is to believe deeply and decidedly that you are in actuality a foolish being of karmic evil caught in birth-and-death, ever sinking and ever wandering in transmigration from innumerable kalpas in the past, with never a condition that would lead to emancipation. The second is to believe deeply and decidedly that Amida Buddha's Forty-eight Vows grasp sentient beings, and that allowing yourself to be carried by the power of the Vow without any doubt or apprehension, you will attain birth."