June 11, 2010
Disclaimer: this is a legitimate use of mirtazapine by prescription without abuse or intent to abuse the drug.
I've been prescribed mirtazapine (Remeron) initially by the Mental Health Centre's shrink, 60 tablets @ 15 mg each for depression. When I first took Remeron, I felt tired (sedated) and fell asleep. The next day it took me two hours to wake up. That was May 12.
Over the next few weeks, I got used to the sedation, and took the dose as described: 15 mg at bedtime, 7.5 mg on rising and 7.5 mg 4-6 hours later.
Currently, with the Remeron regiment of 30 mg a day in 4 divided doses, I am in top mental condition compared to a month ago, 3 months ago and even 6 months ago. With the Remeron came periods of fatigue where it's best not to read a book but just await the passing of tiredness.
However, this drug helped me deal with anxiety, which I tested by facing my fear of heights by crossing a pedestrian bridge without any sign of fear.
Yet most of the day I am inspired to read a lot (first 6, then 5, and now 4 books). Once I got used to the tiredness, my self-motivation increased. This may have been due to both the change in season from spring to summer, but mirtazapine augmented my normally calm exterior and freed me of depression.
It's been 4 weeks or so since I filled my first prescription of 60 15 mg Remeron, of which are 22 pills remaining.
During those four weeks, I went from 106 lbs to 114 lbs. So due to the mirtazapine, my weight has increased by almost 8 percent. At this rate, in a year I would have gained over 100 lbs. (20140126: I now weigh 127 lbs, but stopped mirtazapine in December 2012. Going to bed late may contribute to weight gain. YMMV)
So, a diet plan is in order; in short, I need an energy-burning exercise regime to counteract the weight I am packing on. Since I gain about 1 kg every week, this means I consume about 2000+ calories a day and retain 6-7 percent of those calories as body fat.
Most definitely those carbs need to be dumped for more healthy fats and protein. (20150126: It seems like Remeron might cause OCD.)
Hunger due to anticholinergic effect caused by mirtazapine (Remeron) usually has a psychological basis.
Usually we stuff our mouths because we hunger for companionship. This side effect in essence may mean that antihistamines may worsen feelings of depression and loneliness. However, that hunger could be displaced as increased self esteem and attendant self confidence i.e. 'gives you balls' when feelings of emptiness are counteracted by realization that emptiness is the root of interdependence.
Thus, motivation to moderate hunger may be sought through social networking, mainly off-line. In becoming sociable, one may learn how to control one's eating habits.
But I digress.
Remeron may improve your mind enough to make sense of depression and addiction. Anxiety is indirectly relieved by Remeron; more likely the person's mental habits are more at fault here than the drug. or both anxiety and depression may be affects of the human condition.
As for depression, the almost absolute calm which Remeron brings to the mental health consumer may be mistaken for depression because one may forget that happiness is the product of one's own mind, rather than the result of external circumstances.
Most definitely, this is better than using Remeron recreationally.
Update: November 21, 2012
Everything about mirtazapine and its anti-histamine effects are true. After tasting it for 6 months, IMO it has strong sedative properties which work fine for relieving depression and anxiety, which leads to preventing psychoses.
However, the rest of the description of mirtazapine at Wikipedia is plain horse shit.
Why? Because it's speculative and not based on the horrible but messy testing of rats and other creatures that can't talk.
The mirtazapine related drugs are mainly sedatives of the antihistamine class which do work for mild depression and anxiety mainly by sedation.
The other side effect of anti-histamine drugs is in large doses, the dopamine and noradrenaline effect kick in but without any psychoses because you need lots of insomnia to see things and hear things.
Though you do get a little of the physical effects which is similar to anti-psychotics side effect of akathasia but reversible. Akathasia is the worst case of anxiety with physical symptoms. In my case, when I was anxious, I'd rotate my wrists and twiddle my thumbs. I did that a lot in crowds with my hands in my jacket pockets.
However, I had the experience of listening to a psychiatrist describe SSRI side effects when mirtazapine has no such thing. The serotonin response to an SSRI is anxiety, nervousness, nausea and sometimes even vomiting.
Mirtazapine, however, is used to prevent those symptoms as it is a strong but safe sedative, making it superior to OTC antihistamines. In fact, it is used as a sedative to counteract SSRI side effects.
So forget the Wikipedia description of mirtazapine regarding the speculation of how it works. Its strong antihistamine effect makes whatever it does for the effect on noradrenalin and dopamine seem weak in comparison.
Even so, as I said before, social interaction in public relieves most effects of anxiety but subtly motivates one to stop choosing behaviors that lead to depression, including sleeping until afternoon and staying up all night.
YMMV
Originally posted on June 11, 2010 at 0228H PDT
Wikipedia article on mirtazapine:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/mirtazapine
Showing posts with label social anxiety. Show all posts
Showing posts with label social anxiety. Show all posts
20121103
Hysteria? Wrong Diagnosis! It's Anxiety Disorder!
Circa 1991 I was diagnosed with a personality disorder. This is based on the one interview with the nice Canadian-born English psychiatrist who tried to interest me in getting diagnosed for schizophrenia, too.
After Googling the diagnosis, I learned that Borderline Personality Disorder used to be called Hysteria & used to be diagnosed predominately in women.
11 years later, I seriously doubt the diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. Rather, I have an anxiety disorder which is predominant among Japanese. It is nurtured in the family. My elder brother, my younger sister and myself have a spectrum of anxiety disorders; both my mother has it and my father used to have anxiety about being in Zellers. Thankfully he passed away in 2007, so he no longer has it. :p
In my case, I find that adequate rest is the key to beating anxiety. Secondly, I use 200 mg at bedtime of gabapentin (Neurontin) to keep it at bay, and rely on 10 g at bedtime of cyclobenzaprine (Flexeril) to sleep.
In addition, the gabapentin helps me achieve deep sleep so even if I get 6 hours of sleep, I feel adequately rested. Though, on the average, 9 hours of sleep is optimal for me. As a matter of fact, the medication has stopped the social anxiety I used to get 5 years ago.
If this is a placebo effect, then Flexeril is the perfect sugar pill for me.
After Googling the diagnosis, I learned that Borderline Personality Disorder used to be called Hysteria & used to be diagnosed predominately in women.
11 years later, I seriously doubt the diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. Rather, I have an anxiety disorder which is predominant among Japanese. It is nurtured in the family. My elder brother, my younger sister and myself have a spectrum of anxiety disorders; both my mother has it and my father used to have anxiety about being in Zellers. Thankfully he passed away in 2007, so he no longer has it. :p
In my case, I find that adequate rest is the key to beating anxiety. Secondly, I use 200 mg at bedtime of gabapentin (Neurontin) to keep it at bay, and rely on 10 g at bedtime of cyclobenzaprine (Flexeril) to sleep.
In addition, the gabapentin helps me achieve deep sleep so even if I get 6 hours of sleep, I feel adequately rested. Though, on the average, 9 hours of sleep is optimal for me. As a matter of fact, the medication has stopped the social anxiety I used to get 5 years ago.
If this is a placebo effect, then Flexeril is the perfect sugar pill for me.
20110830
Six More Sessions with the Psychotherapist
August 30, 2011: That means twelve more weeks of therapy (about 3 months).
So from November, I shall be on my own to cope with depression and anxiety, the result of the social isolation which starts around this time of year.
Though, my experience since age 2 has shown to me that the anxiety was learned from my parents, along with the depression from my mother.
While this is discounted by most people, I know it to be true for me.
This truth has freed me from believing that anxiety and depression are solely a biochemical reaction to longer nights and shorter days.
Instead, I feel that the social isolation is most likely a defense mechanism complicated by social anxiety.
Currently I feel fatigued, yet am willing to pause and reflect on the pluses for today.
Overall I am satisfied with the service I obtained from my local mental health centre.
Update 20130203.1213:
It now has been a year and four months since the end of psychotherapy at the local mental health centre.
Things have improved immensely since my medication was changed to gabapentin (200 mg twice a day) and cyclobenzaprine (10 mg at bedtime as needed).
In addition, it has been a couple weeks since finding and buying the following books:
As for my behavior since getting those books, it improved immensely. Though I did commit errors due to the remnants of egocentricity, which arises when negativities unsettles my mind.
Sometimes my fears get the best of me. For example, yesterday I was called in to work to fill un for another worker who'd fallen ill due to stress.
When my shift supervisor called me, he passed on information on the night shift building security guard that he was of the opinion that the security company I work for was inferior to the company that he's worked for all his career.
Fearing having to meet up with him, I decided to drop off the key fob assigned to me by the day shift guard at the desk, unsecured and vulnerable to theft.
While meeting with the night shift guard, he said I should return the fob to him. When I indicated that I'd left it at the desk in an unsecured manner, he left to recover it.
Later on, he came down to ask if I had been in the stairwells since the sensors had alerted him to possible breaches in security. In response to his inquiry, I stated that I have never entered any of the stairwells that night. His reaction was to cuss under his breath, as he was expecting a curt "Yes Sir!" rather than what sounds like an excuse.
Overall though, despite being alerted of frequent friction with the night guard, I actually only saw him twice all night. Based on the gender of the worker I replaced early this morning from midnight to six, I suspect that he might have a hint of misogyny along with the associated egocentricity.
In my way of thinking, putting down another company to make the company you work for seem superior hints of a dysfunctional ego clinging to inferior and superior.
How unnecessary are comparisons!
Later on that night, while I was meditating, I made a point of placing both hands together to meditate on what I learned from the night guard.
Since my meditation is done for the benefit of all sentient beings, including myself, I am certain that the evil karma (misunderstanding instruction about the key fob) was burned off through Buddhist Recitation and meditation.
As you can see, the Buddhist practice of Buddha Remembrance and breath meditation are my two main forms of self-help which benefit not only me but all sentient beings.
However, I am not so vain as to believe Buddhism is superior to psychotherapy due to my "lone wolf" practice.
Chinese Pure Land Buddhist retreats will not help me as I am unable to sit zazen. However, I am sure that Google Plus actually has a wide spectrum of spiritually deep members.
In conclusion, this humble blogger (points to self) makes use of the Buddhist practice of book learning in addition to Buddha Recitation and breath meditation as self-help tools. For these tools help reduce anxiety and depression, but they uncover pure joy arising from the awakening of Bodhi Mind.
I am grateful to the Buddha for his Dharma, to Amida Buddha for the Pure Land where I will be reborn on death, and especially to Shinran Shonin for founding his True Pure Land Buddhism.
Thank you for reading this blog post!
So from November, I shall be on my own to cope with depression and anxiety, the result of the social isolation which starts around this time of year.
Though, my experience since age 2 has shown to me that the anxiety was learned from my parents, along with the depression from my mother.
While this is discounted by most people, I know it to be true for me.
This truth has freed me from believing that anxiety and depression are solely a biochemical reaction to longer nights and shorter days.
Instead, I feel that the social isolation is most likely a defense mechanism complicated by social anxiety.
Currently I feel fatigued, yet am willing to pause and reflect on the pluses for today.
Overall I am satisfied with the service I obtained from my local mental health centre.
Update 20130203.1213:
It now has been a year and four months since the end of psychotherapy at the local mental health centre.
Things have improved immensely since my medication was changed to gabapentin (200 mg twice a day) and cyclobenzaprine (10 mg at bedtime as needed).
In addition, it has been a couple weeks since finding and buying the following books:
- Buddhism of Wisdom and Faith by Thich Thien Tâm.
- Buddhism: An Introductory Guide to the Buddhist Tradition by John Snelling.
- afterzen: Experiences of a Zen Student Out on His Ear by Janwillem van de Wetering.
As for my behavior since getting those books, it improved immensely. Though I did commit errors due to the remnants of egocentricity, which arises when negativities unsettles my mind.
Sometimes my fears get the best of me. For example, yesterday I was called in to work to fill un for another worker who'd fallen ill due to stress.
When my shift supervisor called me, he passed on information on the night shift building security guard that he was of the opinion that the security company I work for was inferior to the company that he's worked for all his career.
Fearing having to meet up with him, I decided to drop off the key fob assigned to me by the day shift guard at the desk, unsecured and vulnerable to theft.
While meeting with the night shift guard, he said I should return the fob to him. When I indicated that I'd left it at the desk in an unsecured manner, he left to recover it.
Later on, he came down to ask if I had been in the stairwells since the sensors had alerted him to possible breaches in security. In response to his inquiry, I stated that I have never entered any of the stairwells that night. His reaction was to cuss under his breath, as he was expecting a curt "Yes Sir!" rather than what sounds like an excuse.
Overall though, despite being alerted of frequent friction with the night guard, I actually only saw him twice all night. Based on the gender of the worker I replaced early this morning from midnight to six, I suspect that he might have a hint of misogyny along with the associated egocentricity.
In my way of thinking, putting down another company to make the company you work for seem superior hints of a dysfunctional ego clinging to inferior and superior.
How unnecessary are comparisons!
Later on that night, while I was meditating, I made a point of placing both hands together to meditate on what I learned from the night guard.
Since my meditation is done for the benefit of all sentient beings, including myself, I am certain that the evil karma (misunderstanding instruction about the key fob) was burned off through Buddhist Recitation and meditation.
As you can see, the Buddhist practice of Buddha Remembrance and breath meditation are my two main forms of self-help which benefit not only me but all sentient beings.
However, I am not so vain as to believe Buddhism is superior to psychotherapy due to my "lone wolf" practice.
Chinese Pure Land Buddhist retreats will not help me as I am unable to sit zazen. However, I am sure that Google Plus actually has a wide spectrum of spiritually deep members.
In conclusion, this humble blogger (points to self) makes use of the Buddhist practice of book learning in addition to Buddha Recitation and breath meditation as self-help tools. For these tools help reduce anxiety and depression, but they uncover pure joy arising from the awakening of Bodhi Mind.
I am grateful to the Buddha for his Dharma, to Amida Buddha for the Pure Land where I will be reborn on death, and especially to Shinran Shonin for founding his True Pure Land Buddhism.
Thank you for reading this blog post!
20070419
Hikikomori: Social Anxiety Due to PTSD Arising From Pressure to Succeed in an Emotionally Reserved Setting (which may explain Cho Seung-Hui's life)
For much of my twenties and thirties, I may have suffered a form of hikikomori, a uniquely Japanese form of sociopathy with a risk for violence due to social isolation.
Here's a full description of the disorder, and roots to its origins. The concept of hone (inner voice) and tatamae (outer voice) may be unique to the Japanese, but the terms I use for each of them relates to the inner voice that when inappropriately expressed may lead to social isolation and the outer voice that is appropriately expressed which leads to social integration into the group.
Thus, one only expresses the inner voice to become individualistic, while the outer voice leads one to become at one with the group, be it one's friends or society at large.
April 19, 2007: Perhaps this explains Cho Seung-Hui's early life until age 16, the year before 9/11.
The following is a quote from Mark Zielenziger's first chapter of his book, SHUTTING OUT THE SUN, which may explain Cho's first 17 years of his life (until 9/11 shocked him and the rest of us out of our sense of isolation from the horrors of terrorism).
Bluntly put, Cho's murder-suicide is another of a long blood trail of domestic terrorism, but then again so is any form of violence when it brings a chill of terror to even one heart.
A SYNDROME KNOWN AS HIKIKOMORI, IN which the outside world is shunned, is wreaking havoc on young people in Japan, a country known for its communal values. And an older generation--the very bastion of those old-fashioned values--may be to blame, according to a controversial new theory.
Hikikomori (the term refers to the behavior itself and to those who suffer from it) was first recognized in the early 1990s. One million Japanese, or almost 1 percent of the population, are estimated to suffer from hikikomori, defined as a withdrawal from friends and family for months or even years. Some 40 percent of hikikomori are below the age of 21, according to a 2001 government report.
Western psychologists compare hikikomori with social anxiety and agoraphobia, a fear of open places. The affliction has also been likened to Asperger's syndrome, a mild variant of autism. But these theories carry little weight in Japan, where the disorder is considered culturally unique and is linked to violence.
Yuichi Hattori, M.A., a psychologist currently treating 18 patients with the disorder, believes that hikikomori is caused by emotionally neglectful parenting. Hattori argues that none of his patients had been sexually or physically abused, yet they all show signs of posttraumatic stress disorder.
Advertisement
As the cultural gap between Japan's youth and elders widens, some young Japanese may view their parents as too stony-faced and reserved. Hattori speaks of Japanese society's deep-rooted division between hone and tatemae--one's true feelings and one's actions--to illustrate the frustration his patients express toward aloof parents.
"Patients tell me their mothers have no emotions," says Hattori. "Six patients have called their parents zombies."
Hattori's findings, presented in November to the International Society for the Study of Dissociation, are reminiscent of the now-discredited theory of the "refrigerator mother," which attributed autism to a detached style of parenting.
"Hikikomori looks more to me like an extreme case of social anxiety," says David Kupfer, Ph.D., a psychologist with a private practice in Virginia. Emotionally unresponsive parents are only one of the factors involved in the development of this disorder, says Kupfer, who points out that "in Japan, the pressure to succeed is a unique cultural source of trauma."
For now, Eastern and Western psychologists agree only that hikikomori is unique to Japan and has serious ramifications for both generations.
COPYRIGHT 2003 Sussex Publishers, Inc.
COPYRIGHT 2003 Gale Group
Here's a full description of the disorder, and roots to its origins. The concept of hone (inner voice) and tatamae (outer voice) may be unique to the Japanese, but the terms I use for each of them relates to the inner voice that when inappropriately expressed may lead to social isolation and the outer voice that is appropriately expressed which leads to social integration into the group.
Thus, one only expresses the inner voice to become individualistic, while the outer voice leads one to become at one with the group, be it one's friends or society at large.
April 19, 2007: Perhaps this explains Cho Seung-Hui's early life until age 16, the year before 9/11.
The following is a quote from Mark Zielenziger's first chapter of his book, SHUTTING OUT THE SUN, which may explain Cho's first 17 years of his life (until 9/11 shocked him and the rest of us out of our sense of isolation from the horrors of terrorism).
Bluntly put, Cho's murder-suicide is another of a long blood trail of domestic terrorism, but then again so is any form of violence when it brings a chill of terror to even one heart.
A SYNDROME KNOWN AS HIKIKOMORI, IN which the outside world is shunned, is wreaking havoc on young people in Japan, a country known for its communal values. And an older generation--the very bastion of those old-fashioned values--may be to blame, according to a controversial new theory.
Hikikomori (the term refers to the behavior itself and to those who suffer from it) was first recognized in the early 1990s. One million Japanese, or almost 1 percent of the population, are estimated to suffer from hikikomori, defined as a withdrawal from friends and family for months or even years. Some 40 percent of hikikomori are below the age of 21, according to a 2001 government report.
Western psychologists compare hikikomori with social anxiety and agoraphobia, a fear of open places. The affliction has also been likened to Asperger's syndrome, a mild variant of autism. But these theories carry little weight in Japan, where the disorder is considered culturally unique and is linked to violence.
Yuichi Hattori, M.A., a psychologist currently treating 18 patients with the disorder, believes that hikikomori is caused by emotionally neglectful parenting. Hattori argues that none of his patients had been sexually or physically abused, yet they all show signs of posttraumatic stress disorder.
Advertisement
As the cultural gap between Japan's youth and elders widens, some young Japanese may view their parents as too stony-faced and reserved. Hattori speaks of Japanese society's deep-rooted division between hone and tatemae--one's true feelings and one's actions--to illustrate the frustration his patients express toward aloof parents.
"Patients tell me their mothers have no emotions," says Hattori. "Six patients have called their parents zombies."
Hattori's findings, presented in November to the International Society for the Study of Dissociation, are reminiscent of the now-discredited theory of the "refrigerator mother," which attributed autism to a detached style of parenting.
"Hikikomori looks more to me like an extreme case of social anxiety," says David Kupfer, Ph.D., a psychologist with a private practice in Virginia. Emotionally unresponsive parents are only one of the factors involved in the development of this disorder, says Kupfer, who points out that "in Japan, the pressure to succeed is a unique cultural source of trauma."
For now, Eastern and Western psychologists agree only that hikikomori is unique to Japan and has serious ramifications for both generations.
COPYRIGHT 2003 Sussex Publishers, Inc.
COPYRIGHT 2003 Gale Group
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)