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Demon babies and Fapping (satire)

Demon babies are conceived by Lilith, Satan's spouse from Hell, so it is written in some arcane Kabala text. She uses avatars called succubi to collect the energy created during your nocturnal emissions and other dark forms of fapping.

This energy is life energy, which means the more you fap, the more likely you'll have a shorter sex life. After you die, Lilith brings all your demon babies to show to God.

Whether you go to Hell is dependent on whether you thought of God while fapping.

Though I am of the opinion that fapping does not offend God, he being the author who created the soul. Thus fapping is the lesser evil, for fornication is supposedly a greater evil.

It isn't satanic; it's just human nature, which is anathema to a good Christian life.

Personally I believe that Lilith is not Satan's handmaiden.

My guess is, Adam couldn't put up with her and demanded a more submissive wife, which makes Eve the mother of all women who abandoned feminism for patriarchal submission to men.

Perhaps Lilith is the mother of neo-pagan feminism, though most pagans do not admit to the Judeo-Christian roots of their goddesses.

So, I don't really believe in demon babies, though Eros may be the muse of my fapping, and all Lilith is, is the Jewish guilt over fapping.

Since I am not Jewish, but Buddhist, that guilt is but suffering so fapping is the lesser of two evils. Besides, I know of a way to burn evil karma from fapping that involves dedicated chanting and a strong focus on that chanting.


Originally posted on April 2, 2012 at 1:21 PM

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