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Jealousy and the Buddhist Approach to Managing It

In this article, I am referring to cases where the jealousy has lead to breakups, and the woman wishes to stop the pattern because it is affecting her happiness.

As well, I am not giving advice; rather, what is written here serves only as a guide. For it is not relationship advice at all.

I do not take responsibility when anything written here is misused.


When I make a statement like "I feel that this person is jealous because ...", it is never made as a judgment call.

Rather, I am specifically pointing out an unskillful action which may bear karmic fruit one day, or many lifetimes later, depending on whether the person turned about, and vowed to manage her jealous feelings responsibly or decided that "jealousy is a normal human emotion which does not need changing."

Just because an emotion, feeling or mood is "normal" does not imply it is good to display.

If anyone wishing to put their mind to it, then they can manage feelings of jealousy with patience and love.

For example, if a woman felt that their boyfriend is spending too much time with a female co-worker, then she may experience jealousy. However, should she decide to use unskillful means such as harassing her at work or at home, and telling her boyfriend to not spend so much time with her to the point of argument, then she will only be causing further woe for herself.

If her boyfriend gets angry with her, and they break up, then she might decide to get even with the woman she is jealous of, rather than doing the mature thing, which is to talk things over with her boyfriend. On further discussion with him, she may be able to reconcile with him or decide that the relationship is over.

While I do not know why a woman gets jealous with another woman, I do know that the other woman usually is not the problem. Rather, jealousy indicates that one may a problem with anger and desire.

Rather than displaying aggression towards the person a woman is jealous of, it is skillful to exercise patience and display love towards her partner. Then when the time is ripe, the woman may talk with the coworker of her partner during a social gathering to see if the other woman has romantic intentions.


Strategies forResolving Jealousy:

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