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Why I Abandoned Conquering the World (satire)

I could not be a developer.

After once trying to code, the prospect of doing it full time would make me want to rule the world. I don't think I could stand the prospect of megalomania as a side effect of becoming a coding expert. It means I'd have to abandon any thought of anonymity, because my name would be in the source code.

Imagine the prospect of an app being horrible. My name is in the source code. An annoyed coding monkey would write me hate mail. Because of my megalomania, I would never respond, since he didn't tell me my coding is great. Megalomaniacs do not respond to hate mail. All it would do is make me code more.

How else would I conquer the world?

Seriously though, the main reason why I never got into coding was it left me suffering anxiety and panic attacks from being cooped up inside all the time.

Though, aside from that, the social isolation left me feeling less human. Sometimes, it makes me feel mildly sociopathic, enough to want to go black hat and conquer the world. At some point such a lifestyle would have involved prison, especially if I chose Anonymous over real anonymity.

So I would rather be a truly anonymous citizen of a mildly socialist country, a nation of polite people.

My thanks to thousands of Canadian developers and programmers, most of whom are not megalomaniacs.

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