None of the links in the main text of this article will crash your computer and the link at the very end of the references points to the author of the code.
My reason for calling this article satire is that I could have written it without hiding any text at all. Then it would have only made sense to a fellow Linux hobbyist who also owns a smartphone with the same specifications as a Nexus 4, and wants to use the Android apps and Linux programs mentioned in the main text to create song too.
Currently I am using my smartphone to create my next album, Sound of Colors Remixes with the help of the Android app, Color Sounds.
Using the Camera option of Color Sounds, I can create two Flash videos in which the video stream is used to create the audio stream of each video.
For Bluetooth connectivity, my phone is paired with and trusted by my PC.
On my phone (a Nexus 4) I use the Bluetooth File Transfer app to turn on Bluetooth
On the PC, I use the Blueman applet to mount the phone's storage folder and use the file manager Nautilus.
After left clicking on the Blueman applet on the PC to bring up the Bluetooth Device window, I then highlight my smartphone and left clicking on the Browse button to access the smartphone.
(The alternative to the previous action is to right click on the Blueman applet on the PC to bring up the menu and left clicking on the Browse Files on Device option.)
After the previous action, the Nautilus window will appear showing storage folder contents on the phone labelled as a mount with the name of the Bluetooth identity of the phone e.g. Nexus4.
In the "Color Sounds" folder are the two video files.
Each file is named in the format of "camera_YYYYNNNN_HHMMSS.flv" where YYYY is the four-digit number corresponding to the year (e.g. 2014), NNNN is the session number which may be from 0001 to 9999 (e.g. 0004), and HHMMSS is the time from 00000 to 235959 (e.g. 190824). E.g. camera_20140004_190824.
Both files are cut from the "Color Sounds" folder on the phone and pasted into an appropriate subdirectory (e.g. nexus4/color_sounds) in the "video" folder of the user's home directory (e.g. ~/video) on the Linux PC.
After transferring both files from the phone to the PC, unmount the phone's storage folder and disconnect the phone using the Blueman applet.
Bluetooth is disconnected by accessing the Bluetooth Devices window which may still be on the desktop. If not, then right click on the Blueman applet to bring up the menu and left clicking on "Devices...".
At the top of the Bluetooth Devices window that appears is a tool list labelled Adapter, Device, View and Help. Left-click on Device:Disconnect.
Highlight both video files "camera_20140004_190824.flv" and "camera_201400004_191004.flv".
While mouse pointer is hovering over the highlighted files, right click and pick Rename...
The "Rename Multiple Files" window appears. It consists of an action area headlined with "Name" and "New Name".
Below the action area are the left action button and the right action button.
When the left action button is left clicked, a pick list consisting of seven actions (Audio Tags, Insert Date/Time, Insert/Overwrite, Numbering, Remove Characters, Search & Replace, Uppercase/Lowercase) appear.
When the right action button is left clicked, the pick list of Name only, Suffix only, and Name and Suffix appear.
A file-name consists of a file Name ("camera_20140004_190824") and a Suffix ("flv"). If you choose Name only, then the action described in the left action button only affects the name "camera_20140004_190824". If you choose Suffix only, then the action described in the left action button only affects the suffix "flv". If you only choose Name and Suffix, then the action described in the left action button affects the name and suffix ""camera_20140004_190824.flv".
Below the left and right action buttons is the options area which provides entry areas in context with the action chosen for the left action button.
In context with Search & Replace, there are two entry areas, Search For: and Replace With:.
After the "Rename Multiple Files" window appears, below the Name | New Name action area, choose "Search & Replace" from the left action button.
Check and make sure the right action button is set to "Name only".
First we change "0004" to "0110" in both video files, "camera_20140004_190824.flv" and "camera_201400004_191004.flv".
In the Search For: entry area enter "0004" and in the Replace With: entry area "0110"
Then left click on the Rename Files button.
The action area under New Name should list the files with the new filenames "camera_20140110_190824.flv" and "camera_20140110_191004.flv"
After renaming both files, close the Rename Multiple Files window.
Add "camera_20140110_190824.flv" and "camera_20140110_191004.flv" by left clicking on the plus button.
Choose the files in the subdirectory "videos/nexus4/color_sounds" of the user's home directory and left click on the Add button.
Then the audio files "camera_20140110_190824.mp3" and "camera_20140110_191004.mp3" are created by selecting MP3 and clicking on the Convert button.
At this point I move the two MP3 files to the appropriate subdirectory in the "music" folder of the user's home directory (e.g. ~/music/colorsounds) using the file manager Thunar.
In the "color_sounds" subfolder, highlight both audio files "camera_20140110_190824.mp3" and "camera_20140110_191004.mp3".
Right click on the highlighted files to bring up the menu action list and left click on Cut.
Create the subdirectory "colorsounds" in the "music" subdirectory of the user's home directory.
Then go to the subdirectory "colorsounds".
Right click to bring the menu action list and left click on Paste.
Highlight and right click on each audio files. Choose "Rename" from the pick list.
Rename file name in numerical sequence such as "Colorsounds001".
Click on "Rename" button to rename.
Repeat previous action on the remaining audio file.
You should have two audio files named "colorsounds001.mp3" and "colorsounds002.mp3".
Import the first file into Audacity and note the time length for that file on a piece of paper. Then undo the import.
Repeat import for the second audio file.
Assumes Audacity was not closed since previous action.
Assumes the audio files "colorsounds001.mp3" and "colorsounds002.mp3".
Assumes that "colorsounds001.mp3" has a time length of 34.725 seconds and "colorsounds002.mp3" has a time length of 40.125 seconds. The audio file chosen is "colorsounds002.mp3".
Import "colorsounds001.mp3" into Audacity.
Set Tempo so that the new time length will be 40.125 seconds.
Import "colorsounds002.mp3" into Audacity.
Select "Mix and Render" and commit to this action.
You should have one stereo track.
With the stereo track just created, select all of the track by left clicking on the left information area of the track.
Mark and copy the whole track. Then paste the copy at the end of the current track.
Repeat the previous two instructions until you obtain a track greater than three minutes and less than six minutes.
Using the audio plugins Stereo Reverb, adjust Stereo Reverb for a large room, and click on OK button to confirm. Normalize the track. Check sound quality.
Use the Echo Delay Line or Feedback Delay Line as needed and click on OK button to confirm. Normalize the track. Check sound quality.
While the sound quality is not to your tastes do the following three steps until Step 4 is met:
1) Use Equalize set to RIAA. Click on OK button to confirm
2) Use C * Scape: Stereo delay & filters. Set bpm (beats per minute) to either 124.5 or 144.5 - I would suggest 144.5 for a fast rhythm. Set divider to 2, 3 or 4. I suggest 4. Set feedback to 0.75, dry to 0.25 and leave blend at 0.75 - note that you may change these settings according to your tastes. Click on OK button to confirm.
3) Normalize the track and check sound quality.
4) If the sound quality of the whole track is to your liking, then save the song to your album wherever on your disk you keep your new album and songs.
So total file size may vary from 1.26 to 1.83 times the time length, depending on the audio and video streams.
This implies that a three minute (180 second) video could vary from 227 MB to 330 MB in size or perhaps larger.
However, the larger size of the video file would result in long wait times for the resulting audio file.
Therefore it is recommended to create video files of no longer than a minute at the most. Then convert to audio files, and use them to create your songs.
Android Apps at Google Play:
Both apps work on a Nexus 4 smartphone running Android version 4.4.3. Please test them out and see if they work on your smartphone.
Color Sounds: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=org.androidideas.colorsounds
See also at Android Ideas: http://androidideas.org/colorsounds/
Bluetooth File Transfer: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=it.medieval.blueftp
See also at Medieval Software: http://www.medieval.it/blueftp-android/menu-id-68.html
I currently use the waldorf version of Crunch Bang Linux. Most of the programs listed below works best on a Debian-based Linux. However, I have not tested any of them on any other system. Windows versions of the follow programs may or may not work as described.
Audacity: fast, cross-platform audio editor; http://audacity.sourceforge.net
Gnac: audio converter for GNOME; http://gnac.sf.net/
Nautilus: file manager and graphical shell for GNOME; http://www.gnome.org/projects/nautilus/
Thunar: File Manager for Xfce; http://www.xfce.org/