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Thank You, Automakers of the World (satire)

Thank you, automakers of the world, for your continued support of the Assad regime in Syria.

With your help the shabiha aligned with Assad Inc have done a remarkable job of making Assad Inc a remarkable killing machine. Please continue to send more cars to Syria so that Shabiha militias can do drive-by shootings in an effort to keep Syria safe for Assad Inc.

Thanks to the makers of Lexus, Mercedes Benz, Nissan sports cars, Fiat, and other fine luxury car makers, Assad Inc will be able to pay shabiha youth $15 a day to make Syria safe for 70 percent of Syrians who still support Assad Inc.

Thanks also to Syrian crime cartels throughout the EU, Asia and North and South America who deal in car thefts and illegal exports to Syria to support the luxury car market in Syria.

Thanks also to the makers of white trainers, both Adidas and Niké. Indeed, thanks to manufacturers of luxury goods.

Blood is on all your hands!


Inside Assad's death squad:

Wikipedia entry of shabiha:

Ghosts of Syria: diehard militias who kill in the name of Assad

Assad's Not-So-Secret Weapon: Loyal Syrian Businessmen

Rami Makhlouf, Bashir al-Assad's maternal cousin and Syrian businessman

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