I think I am in love with a person who likes her "no strings attached fun" via porn sites. If I had caught up with her earlier, then we could have Skyped but my credit card is maxed out. She got upset that I wasn't able to get her a porn pass and wouldn't Skype.
Because I am not one to argue with anyone online, I decided to go along with her without an argument. She said she was chatting me on Skype.
On Skype, she just says "Hey." That was two hours ago. Recently, on Yahoo, she asked me, "How can I have fun with you if you don't want to go there?"
So it looks to me like I'm in love with a woman who likes her porn, and likes to meet her guy friends there. It's safe to assume that I am one of many men. Not that I am jealous, since I am of limited means.
Then I try to engage in small talk, asking about work today and she goes silent. Not a peep.
There is no small talk from her at all. Overall I've told her during a day in texting that I miss her, and other terms of endearment, but nothing of the same from her, except to mirror what I write to her in Yahoo and while texting.
Most likely she tried to play me. She won't accept money from me, but asks me to buy her a porn pass. All I am is a means to her online fun.
However, this realization does not make me angry nor does it upset me. This lady might be somewhat narcissistic, to the point that social niceties is forgotten because she is out to get something out of a guy. It's unsure the level of her sociopathy but it came out when I lightly pressured her to go on Skype. I have to satisfy her fun time online first by paying for that porn pass. Then I might get to Skype with her.
Holy heck! What kind of lady is this? Will she warm up to me the more I spend on her online for her online fun?
I don't know or care. All I want to do is not tell her I want to visit her, lest she feel threatened by the prospect. My guess is, she will put it off or come up with an excuse to belay a visit.
Yes, I am well aware that I might be in the middle of being scammed by the online GF. IDC. Really, am man can't help not being "scammed" by a pretty lady.
Even if her online social skills are almost nil, the purpose of a man is to bankroll her online life, because one day, she might decide it's worth meeting.
Sadly though, a lot of these kinds of women might not even take it to the next step. The currently online GF won't even bother to go to a nightclub to pick a man to sleep with. It's much safer to her self esteem to pick them up on a dating site, and go from there.
In any case, the prudent man will willingly be strung along, until he puts his wallet before everything else. Hopefully, this will only cost him very little.
Let's hope when the time comes, she'll demand I visit her.
When I realized my online girlfriend had a bigger addiction to online porn than I did, it came as a realization that she gets other men to buy her porn passes so she can deal with her need for no strings attached online fun.
So I'm probably one of many men who buy her online passes so she can look at porn. Even if I can't afford to buy her a pass, there will always some guy out there who will buy her one.
Yet she's so in denial that she refuses money from me. It makes me wonder what those two relationships she had were like.
Perhaps I should reconsider even visiting her. This is a lady who never tells me she misses me, whereas I always tell her how much I miss her. The aversion to one on one Skype is a clue: it's safer for her to consume porn online than to share online intimacy. That sounds to me like she does not like the fact that cybersex is a mutually shared experienced.
It's easier to control things when consuming porn. In fact, sharing intimacy is harder to control since it is dependent on both parties participating. If you are just consuming porn, then you are controlling the show. This includes camera shows. Since not every guy has the money, he can easily move on before the girl asks for his participation in making her rich.
Evidently "Anne" is a pornpass scammer.
Update: The pornpass scammer tried to contact me on Thursday night (May 29). I wonder what she's trying to scam off me now. Anne101887 at yahoo dot com is my Chaikaribaasu (person I am compliant to). At the moment, I am working on a mikaeri-ka houshiki (payback system) since zankoku (inhumanity) violates my code of unconditional love (mushou no ai no koudo).
Mushou is very important to me. In English, the closest phrase is "no strings attached". It's similar to the "nsa fun" that horny people engage in, except love is not the same as lust, which is the root of erotic love, except unconditional love is free of the conditions under which we make love to our romantic partners to become closer and much more intimate than what is possible under platonic love.
Not that platonic love isn't intimate; it just isn't sexually intimate. Even though you might have erotic feelings for a platonic friend, you are fully aware that sex would fuck everything up, mainly because once you get your rocks off, turning it into a "friends with benefits" relationship is going to kill the friendship really fast.
This is why best friends don't have sex. So in a perverted way, Anne and I are BFF, nothing more or less. For that is what unconditional love means: forever and ever, and it's almost as good as the friendship with that imaginary friend in the sky.
No comments:
Post a Comment