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The Prospect of Marriage Scares Me (satire)

Recently I have noticed hints by my fellow LDS leaders (a married missionary and a teacher who has the higher priesthood) about getting married to a single woman in our ward.

In the first incident, I had dinner with a Taiwanese LDS in the Melchizedek priesthood. As a part of introducing new prospects to Mormon life, I got invited to dinner with his family along with the elders who watched over my spiritual welfare.

Sometime before dinner, I accompanied Brother W to a female prospect at a house she rents with another prospect, but both women were out. Nobody was home - it was like they realized the LDS life is not right for them.

Even though I knew something might be up, I never mentioned my suspicion that he might be introducing me to a potential marriage prospect to Brother W since the LDS theology highly values traditional marriage.

In the second incident, at the Christmas dinner, the married Elder M tried get me to loosen up and stop being the quiet, shy and retiring guy that I am with a lady from Mongolia. We are having an awkward time communicating, but my observation of her behavior and the subtle hints of friendliness indicate to me that we are much alike in personality.

Even so, my aversion to finding a new mate as a new baptized member this early — my baptism was on August 29 - four months membership so far — is making me act like a man who is totally unprepared for marriage.

My income cannot support a mate - it could lead to complex financial difficulties for me, more complicated than the single life that I now live. Indeed, I know that I am not ready, so that is why I am acting like an unlikely prospect rather than like a man.

However, the life of chastity that an LDS member is supposed to follow will almost guarantee getting married if both he and the prospective wife have paid their tithes and fulfilled all their obligations regarding priesthood ordination.

Yet I know from the five failed relationships that the prime cause of their failure is premarital sex. Added to this is the realization that my sexual hangups is related to being not "marriageable" i.e. the married life is more expensive than the single life.

Overall though I shall attempt to be less aloof and unsociable as time goes by as a Mormon but for now, I have some reading to do...



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