Throughout my articles on this blog, I have been bluntly forward about my private life.
Sometimes this has led me to delete the articles when the absence of privacy such a confession has caused not guilt or shame but regret of the candidness. Other times my candidness also leads to that feeling that surpasses embarrassment and shame to the point of almost losing psychological stability.
This makes me doubt the validity of psychoanalysis which played a role in the untimely death of Marilyn Monroe.
Possibly psychotherapy may have led to the suicide of Margeaux Hemingway, a great actress whose life was cut short because anorexia, drink and drugs were becoming addictions that was leading her to behave irrationally before her death.
I do not believe in psychoanalysis because there are secret bests left between a person and his higher power, be it his priest, a lover or even an imaginary friend who is often more reliable than our friends and family when it comes to the main affliction of people nowadays. YMMV
Yes, I believe that lack of healthy mental hygiene may lead to people either thinking of themselves as a god or worse come to hate religion as a superstition that is outdated and out of fashion.
Even worse is when a person may think that the spiritual life is a fearsome prospect, based on biases and prejudices against such a life, due to much the same biases that a few of the humanists tend to share with the spiritually-inclined.
For everyone is a human being first.
Having said all this, let me get to the point in my life that changed me: as a five year old I spend three weeks at the old St Mary's Hospital on Royal Avenue in New Westminster, BC — a hospital that I was born in a cold November day in 1958.
Prior to my time there, I suffered the absence of my parents and the indignity of being hooked up to a catheter all due to a genetic condition called hypospadia, a medical condition in which my plumbing was leaky at birth and got fixed but still leaked a little, which was fixed in 1991.
However I am sure the trauma of having my naughty bits repaired is enough to lead to the inability to have an orgasm during sex. It is not the equipment since my masturbation sessions in the past have been successful and complete.
Rather, I have a sexual hangup which makes it almost impossible to have an orgasm during sexual intercourse. Most likely, it is due to the "audience" which would be all my former girlfriends and lovers.
All I can say is, I am pretty sure that the normal response of a lover to just lay back and let me do the work does not lead to joy for me. She better be prepared to wiggle in ecstasy to her favorite love-making song for such joy.
I am sure that no single woman at my church even has a clue to what I expect from them during the post-marital sex. Though it is likely they have a better idea than what the LDS higher priesthood expect. ;)
Anyway, the reason why I refer to those three weeks in the hospital as traumatic is because I felt at the time that my parents had abandoned me forever. Sadly though, that hospital is no more — and all my good memories of my time as a five year old boy are all that's left of the event.
Today I am thankful to the boy from the tonsilectomy ward for befriending me. The uro-genital ward was a room filled girls and boys who could only use their inability to comprehend the fact that their naughty bits were not correctly made to invent stories like washing at the kitchen sink and accidently having a knife mutilate it.
Today as adults we will not even form adult psychotherapy groups to deal with how we were treated, because my guess is, we were intersex children being assigned as girls and boys by surgery in order to fulfill the unreality that people can only be male or female, but nothing in between — without the appropriate counseling, thanks to being born in Canada where children are deemed unfit for psychotherapy in 1963.
Today, it is likely a girl with sexual dysmorphic disorder can get counseling and even be assigned to a sex change from female to male, complete with hormone therapy and surgery.
We even accept the prospect of transgendered children being accepted as normal by their parents, despite the prejudice by feminists towards transgendered males who behave like women but are deemed to be men due to their chromosomes.
Such a reaction from feminists is a sure sign of sexism by cis-females who may be homosexual or heterosexual, yet practice a misandry that makes such feminists female chauvinistic boors.
Oh, the irony of feminists who claim all men are misogynists yet practice a hatred of anyone whose chromosomes are the wrong kind!
I have nothing against feminists, but too often they let their emotions hijack their reasoning skills. Even the religionists they despise are much better people overall because most spiritually-inclined people may be more accepting of others than the socialist propaganda claims.
As for this trauma of my past, I am all over it. Hopefully I can teach a willing mate how to dance in bed one day.
UPDATE: 20150107
When I was around 12, I read a book written by John Money called "Man & Woman, Boy & Girl: Gender Identity from Conception to Maturity". This book changed my life.
In it, I learned that I had a variant of hypospadia, which only consisted of a large fistula (opening) from urethra at the base of my penis.
http://books.google.ca/books/about/Man_Woman_Boy_Girl.html?id=qvRqAAAAMAAJ&redir_esc=y
It is important to develop sensitivity towards the intersex community and to accept myself as I am than and quietly blog about it.
Today I have experienced being a male who was determined to be heterosexual almost 25 years. I accept the counterargument that the subtle heteronormative pressures of society may have led to this decision.
As a result of that decision, I know that I will hardly ever pass as bisexual or gay. Indeed, it is more likely that expressions of my sexuality will remain heterosexual in nature. However, I would rather remain celibate at my age.
Most of the time, I maintain an indifference to sexual expression. For it distracts me from my pastime of computers, reading, and journal writing. I know that most of this blog entry might be a symptom of depression caused by the change in seasons from summer to winter.
What I am working on is to improve sleep hygiene since insomnia sometimes precipitates expressions of sexual behavior which are seen as healthy when expressed privately but is unhealthy when expressed publicly.
It is a lot more healthy to express myself through journal writing, since I consider writing to be due to the creative energy of the libido sublimated into non-sexual self expression.
Thus, my whole journal may be seen as a healthy form of self expression where libido is sublimated into journal writing, especially in articles that are not about sex.
Becoming politically moderate is a part of my primary goal at this phase in my life. From 1990 to 2010, I was primarily a Buddhist meditator. However, the little Zen that I know of and practiced was more intellectual in nature.
From meditation, I borrowed the breathing technique and meditation posture (erect the back and just sit) to help develop my concentration. To an outsider, it looks like I have fallen asleep but from my perspective, I am aware of my surroundings but ignore any stimuli unless physically confronted. Usually that rarely happens because I stay at home a lot.
Regarding the title of this blog entry, I have taken "ownership" of the traumatic event where my parents left me in the hospital when I was five. Having toughed out that experience, I can handle almost anything.
Additionally, my experiences as a security guard have led me to understand that the non-confrontative approach to life helped me make it to this point in my life. Indeed, I am thankful that the most significant work experience occurred around 3 AM in the morning of July 19, 2004, when I got beat up at work and survived. It helped me to realize that life is too short to spend risking my life unnecessarily.
This was the second traumatic event in my life, and it strengthened my resolve to remain independent. I also have matured over the past ten years, and have developed an appreciation for the calmness of mind and fearlessness that I recovered since then.
For libido does not have to be expressed sexually. Self expression also occurs when the individual is willing to fill the void that materialism often creates with a fuller and meaning form of sublimation such as the great appreciation of the spiritual aspect of human nature.
I knew this to be true in 2006 when I realized after an encounter with the hospital's spiritual counselor that, if a person believes in God, then on death, the soul returns to the Godhead since behavioral and mental negativities cannot taint its original purity. However, I have written more about this in a previous blog entry.
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
20141221
The Prospect of Marriage Scares Me (satire)
Recently I have noticed hints by my fellow LDS leaders (a married missionary and a teacher who has the higher priesthood) about getting married to a single woman in our ward.
In the first incident, I had dinner with a Taiwanese LDS in the Melchizedek priesthood. As a part of introducing new prospects to Mormon life, I got invited to dinner with his family along with the elders who watched over my spiritual welfare.
Sometime before dinner, I accompanied Brother W to a female prospect at a house she rents with another prospect, but both women were out. Nobody was home - it was like they realized the LDS life is not right for them.
Even though I knew something might be up, I never mentioned my suspicion that he might be introducing me to a potential marriage prospect to Brother W since the LDS theology highly values traditional marriage.
In the second incident, at the Christmas dinner, the married Elder M tried get me to loosen up and stop being the quiet, shy and retiring guy that I am with a lady from Mongolia. We are having an awkward time communicating, but my observation of her behavior and the subtle hints of friendliness indicate to me that we are much alike in personality.
Even so, my aversion to finding a new mate as a new baptized member this early — my baptism was on August 29 - four months membership so far — is making me act like a man who is totally unprepared for marriage.
My income cannot support a mate - it could lead to complex financial difficulties for me, more complicated than the single life that I now live. Indeed, I know that I am not ready, so that is why I am acting like an unlikely prospect rather than like a man.
However, the life of chastity that an LDS member is supposed to follow will almost guarantee getting married if both he and the prospective wife have paid their tithes and fulfilled all their obligations regarding priesthood ordination.
Yet I know from the five failed relationships that the prime cause of their failure is premarital sex. Added to this is the realization that my sexual hangups is related to being not "marriageable" i.e. the married life is more expensive than the single life.
Overall though I shall attempt to be less aloof and unsociable as time goes by as a Mormon but for now, I have some reading to do...
TO BE CONTINUED
Ordination: http://www.linkapedia-christianity.com/digest/ordination/97407342/20d869b1c88ebc297049467acf69543d?checkLogin=1&lnkpd4f3b8=18f16
In the first incident, I had dinner with a Taiwanese LDS in the Melchizedek priesthood. As a part of introducing new prospects to Mormon life, I got invited to dinner with his family along with the elders who watched over my spiritual welfare.
Sometime before dinner, I accompanied Brother W to a female prospect at a house she rents with another prospect, but both women were out. Nobody was home - it was like they realized the LDS life is not right for them.
Even though I knew something might be up, I never mentioned my suspicion that he might be introducing me to a potential marriage prospect to Brother W since the LDS theology highly values traditional marriage.
In the second incident, at the Christmas dinner, the married Elder M tried get me to loosen up and stop being the quiet, shy and retiring guy that I am with a lady from Mongolia. We are having an awkward time communicating, but my observation of her behavior and the subtle hints of friendliness indicate to me that we are much alike in personality.
Even so, my aversion to finding a new mate as a new baptized member this early — my baptism was on August 29 - four months membership so far — is making me act like a man who is totally unprepared for marriage.
My income cannot support a mate - it could lead to complex financial difficulties for me, more complicated than the single life that I now live. Indeed, I know that I am not ready, so that is why I am acting like an unlikely prospect rather than like a man.
However, the life of chastity that an LDS member is supposed to follow will almost guarantee getting married if both he and the prospective wife have paid their tithes and fulfilled all their obligations regarding priesthood ordination.
Yet I know from the five failed relationships that the prime cause of their failure is premarital sex. Added to this is the realization that my sexual hangups is related to being not "marriageable" i.e. the married life is more expensive than the single life.
Overall though I shall attempt to be less aloof and unsociable as time goes by as a Mormon but for now, I have some reading to do...
TO BE CONTINUED
Ordination: http://www.linkapedia-christianity.com/digest/ordination/97407342/20d869b1c88ebc297049467acf69543d?checkLogin=1&lnkpd4f3b8=18f16
20140908
Feminists are Sexist Too (satire)
Women are so picky about their mates.
Firstly, despite protest contrary, their ideal man must be financial stable, i.e. they must be the breadwinner.
Yet women have been emancipated. Sometimes they make more than men do.
Why is it that women demand a financial stable man, but a man usually marries a woman with no visible means of income, save what her parents might give to her as a wedding presents, or nothing if they foot the bill for the wedding?
A feminist would call the man a misogynist, yet most feminists who are heterosexual demand that the man to be an employee with a good job (doctors, lawyers, or CEO of a company that is green). She would be working, too.
I believe it is sexist for a woman to demand such a thing of a man. It is sexist because few feminists complain about men with jobs marrying women who have no job, save to be homemaker. If they actually were complaining, then why are they not protesting in your neighborhood.
If women want to wear the pants in their future family, then I see no reason why a man must have a job to meet the requirements of a women for her to marry, especially if she is employed at a good job.
He is not a burden to her, just as a woman without a job marrying an employed man is not a burden to him.
Therefore the fallacy that a man must be a breadwinner in order to marry a woman regardless of her employment status is clearly evident.
As well, that a man must be a breadwinner is also an artificial requirement by women which is inherently sexist and misanthropic.
Feminists, cut out the double standard. You are equal in sexism.
Firstly, despite protest contrary, their ideal man must be financial stable, i.e. they must be the breadwinner.
Yet women have been emancipated. Sometimes they make more than men do.
Why is it that women demand a financial stable man, but a man usually marries a woman with no visible means of income, save what her parents might give to her as a wedding presents, or nothing if they foot the bill for the wedding?
A feminist would call the man a misogynist, yet most feminists who are heterosexual demand that the man to be an employee with a good job (doctors, lawyers, or CEO of a company that is green). She would be working, too.
I believe it is sexist for a woman to demand such a thing of a man. It is sexist because few feminists complain about men with jobs marrying women who have no job, save to be homemaker. If they actually were complaining, then why are they not protesting in your neighborhood.
If women want to wear the pants in their future family, then I see no reason why a man must have a job to meet the requirements of a women for her to marry, especially if she is employed at a good job.
He is not a burden to her, just as a woman without a job marrying an employed man is not a burden to him.
Therefore the fallacy that a man must be a breadwinner in order to marry a woman regardless of her employment status is clearly evident.
As well, that a man must be a breadwinner is also an artificial requirement by women which is inherently sexist and misanthropic.
Feminists, cut out the double standard. You are equal in sexism.
20140520
Post-Secondary Education is a Scam (satire)
Ever notice that, in order to succeed, you need a university degree. The rationale is that today's job demands it but given how many students are in debt after graduation, I think that the "university degree guarantees success" is a scam designed to get some students in debt.
It only guarantees that your boss will have graduated from university on his father's tab, and comes from a good family. He hires you because you come from a blue collar background and are essentially his wage slave. He'll be the success story and it's on your dime, because you sweated so he doesn't have to.
Real life is like this, but post-secondary education is touted as the means to a successful future. However, I see right through the bullshit. Education costs money, so much money some graduates might commit suicide after having a harsh time with the collections agents, people you don't need to answer to, because usually they lie about how much you owe to line their own pockets.
In actual fact, the real reason you go to university is to make a name for yourself as a hard worker who is intelligent. The other kids whose daddies pay for their education will notice you and might even be your boss after graduation, one day.
So the real purpose of university is to get to know your future co-workers and possible boss(es). As for that university degree, it'll work really nice sucking up the fat from those fries you'll be selling at some greasy spoon dive.
Let's face it: in today's economy, the service industry is the meal ticket, even if you graduate at the top of your class in nuclear medicine. People's first jobs are usually as waitresses or servers. Why? The tips, if you are great at grooming people, are stupendous. It also helps to be a woman and show cleavage.
Sure, this may sound sexist, but it is the nature of the service industry to provide the number one service to men: cleavage. Men pay good tips just because they're allowed a teasing peek. I'd even pay a 15% tip because the waitress serving me has breasts rather let her boyish co-worker serve me. Sure, I may sound like a lech but that's the nature of the service industry. Women are first and foremost entertainers of some sort, even if their job description says "waitress."
So if some university students are destined to become sexy waitresses, why do they study in university? To pick up Mr. Right, marry him and have babies. In short, women's success stories involve going to the right school, getting noticed by a horny scion from a good family, date and eventually get married. Only in rare instances do they graduate and go on to become successful.
However, marriage isn't a real career choice. It doesn't pay that well, and the risks tend to mitigate the benefits. Overall, marriage fucks up having a successful career. Ask any Muslim woman.
I hope you realize now how much university is a scam. However, I never intended to write this article to scare you off from seeking post-secondary education because maybe you'll ignore the distractions and graduate. Then you are surely on your way to success.
It only guarantees that your boss will have graduated from university on his father's tab, and comes from a good family. He hires you because you come from a blue collar background and are essentially his wage slave. He'll be the success story and it's on your dime, because you sweated so he doesn't have to.
Real life is like this, but post-secondary education is touted as the means to a successful future. However, I see right through the bullshit. Education costs money, so much money some graduates might commit suicide after having a harsh time with the collections agents, people you don't need to answer to, because usually they lie about how much you owe to line their own pockets.
In actual fact, the real reason you go to university is to make a name for yourself as a hard worker who is intelligent. The other kids whose daddies pay for their education will notice you and might even be your boss after graduation, one day.
So the real purpose of university is to get to know your future co-workers and possible boss(es). As for that university degree, it'll work really nice sucking up the fat from those fries you'll be selling at some greasy spoon dive.
Let's face it: in today's economy, the service industry is the meal ticket, even if you graduate at the top of your class in nuclear medicine. People's first jobs are usually as waitresses or servers. Why? The tips, if you are great at grooming people, are stupendous. It also helps to be a woman and show cleavage.
Sure, this may sound sexist, but it is the nature of the service industry to provide the number one service to men: cleavage. Men pay good tips just because they're allowed a teasing peek. I'd even pay a 15% tip because the waitress serving me has breasts rather let her boyish co-worker serve me. Sure, I may sound like a lech but that's the nature of the service industry. Women are first and foremost entertainers of some sort, even if their job description says "waitress."
So if some university students are destined to become sexy waitresses, why do they study in university? To pick up Mr. Right, marry him and have babies. In short, women's success stories involve going to the right school, getting noticed by a horny scion from a good family, date and eventually get married. Only in rare instances do they graduate and go on to become successful.
However, marriage isn't a real career choice. It doesn't pay that well, and the risks tend to mitigate the benefits. Overall, marriage fucks up having a successful career. Ask any Muslim woman.
I hope you realize now how much university is a scam. However, I never intended to write this article to scare you off from seeking post-secondary education because maybe you'll ignore the distractions and graduate. Then you are surely on your way to success.
20131225
Divine Wealth
Divine Wealth: "Fearlessness (Abhayam):Among the Divine qualities, Fearlessness stands foremost. Fear is an effect of ignorance. Identification with the body causes fear. Blind attachment to the body, wife, children, house, property etc. is the cause of fear.The sage who has realised the Self is absolutely fearless.
'He who knows the Bliss of Brahman (God) from which words as well as mind turn powerless, fears nothing.' -Taittiriya Upanishad
Fear can be removed by constant thinking of the immortal and all-blissful nature of the Self. If you lead a life of honesty and truthfulness, if you devoutly observe the precepts of the scriptures without doubting, if you lead a life of right conduct, and if you remember God always, you will become fearless."
It is through worship that the mind is focused on good that results from such devotion.
One becomes open-minded and one's heart is softened until a tiny raw edge of fearlessness appears to devour any fears you have. Fearlessness is ravenous in its pursuit of fear, because fear pollutes the stillness of the mind, and prevents the mind from hearing the voice of God.
Once fear is no more, fearlessness moderates bravery by leading one to be hypervigilant against even one thought of cowardice, which is the fear that wants you to retreat from a challenge because you feel unworthy of meeting it.
In having met your challenges, you uncover divine wealth which is worth more than gold itself. For the diamond mind which arises spontaneously due to meditation shines brilliantly and is the result of facing all challenges in life fearlessly.
Even if you are not a Buddhist or a Hindu, then the wealth uncovered by the diamond mind will never fade away as long as you practice meditation.
Such is divine wealth, lasting longer than all riches and material possession. She who realizes its true value early in life shall live a long life!
Originally written February 29, 2004 8:17 PM
'He who knows the Bliss of Brahman (God) from which words as well as mind turn powerless, fears nothing.' -Taittiriya Upanishad
Fear can be removed by constant thinking of the immortal and all-blissful nature of the Self. If you lead a life of honesty and truthfulness, if you devoutly observe the precepts of the scriptures without doubting, if you lead a life of right conduct, and if you remember God always, you will become fearless."
It is through worship that the mind is focused on good that results from such devotion.
One becomes open-minded and one's heart is softened until a tiny raw edge of fearlessness appears to devour any fears you have. Fearlessness is ravenous in its pursuit of fear, because fear pollutes the stillness of the mind, and prevents the mind from hearing the voice of God.
Once fear is no more, fearlessness moderates bravery by leading one to be hypervigilant against even one thought of cowardice, which is the fear that wants you to retreat from a challenge because you feel unworthy of meeting it.
In having met your challenges, you uncover divine wealth which is worth more than gold itself. For the diamond mind which arises spontaneously due to meditation shines brilliantly and is the result of facing all challenges in life fearlessly.
Even if you are not a Buddhist or a Hindu, then the wealth uncovered by the diamond mind will never fade away as long as you practice meditation.
Such is divine wealth, lasting longer than all riches and material possession. She who realizes its true value early in life shall live a long life!
Originally written February 29, 2004 8:17 PM
20131220
The Big Question on Wealth (satire)
"People who value being wealthy as an end in itself (rather than an outcome on achieving other life goals) are less happy and more prone to depression." — J. M. Zwenge & W. K. Campbell, The Narcissism Epidemic: Living In The Age of Entitlement; "Ninjas in McMansions", page 129; Chapter 8: "I Deserve The Best At 18% APR."
Eventually, state the authors, materialism that raises one's status is self-destructive. Why is status-driven materialism dangerous? Such materialism is self-destructive, and may lead to bankruptcy, unhappy marriages, and even divorce.
Yet narcissists would be the first to deny that their desire for status has destroyed their lives, as long as they have credit cards, a couple million hidden away in the Grand Cayman Island, and a limousine driven by a trusted chauffeur.
Indeed, who in their right mind would declare to the world that "money is nothing" and transform their energy to practice materialistic consumerism into humanistic philanthropy? By framing the question as such, the narcissist lives in denial of moral poverty.
Earning power is not dependent on soundness of mind, for a few of today's billionaires have never finished college. Sometimes, even their behaviour when seeking status and power takes appears sociopathic.
Are we really entitled to wealth as a measure of our success? This question cannot be answered with a firm "Yes" or "No" because money is supposed to be a measure of your achievement in your life, rich or poor.
Suppose we have two brothers we'll call Gerald and Samuel Jones. Being the financial success in the family, the older Gerald dotes on his elderly parents for helping him to succeed in life. Meanwhile, Samuel has become the "black sheep" of the family.
Years ago, Samuel had been financially cut off because he couldn't pay his bills on time. After the $15,000 bailout for a student loan, all Samuel does instead of completing his degree in Computer Science is spend too much time on the computer.
In contrast, not only is Gerald a financial success, he has recently married Louise. He has argued with his mother over giving Sam any money, to which Mrs. Jones replied "If I don't give him spending money, then he will leave me and go on welfare. That would ruin the family name if he did it."
What Mrs. Jones means is, Sam is captivated by his mother's narcissistic personality; and is willing to trade his independence for dependence on her.
If this imaginary family seems normal to you, except for Sam, then you have not read between the lines. Mr Jones died 15 years ago, but left the family with a hefty inheritance. With Mrs. Jones as the executor of Mr. Jones' will, and Gerald as co-executor, he has ensured that he could invest wisely and maintenance an active investment portfolio which made him a millionaire.
However, Sam was the pampered child, due to ADHD and depression, plus years of Ritalin use. Currently he lives at home. Once a week, his mother gives him spending money. Due to his lack of employment, she pampers him and sometimes may be hear to say "You don't need to go find a job. Your dad left you with a trust fund."
Sadly though, this trust fund is managed by his brother, Gerald, who only doles out his brother"s weekly stipend. Originally he had allowed the trust fund to fund Sam's slow but sure path from college student to drop out with only six months of work, and an offer of internships.
In the end Sam never sought out work because he likes it at home. Although he is fine with the arrangements as it is, Sam wishes he had mone control over his finances. Luckily he knows better than to be a spendthrift but his ADHD in adulthood has made it difficult to hold a job because his behaviour is "odd". At one point, the college president considered him a security threat due to rumours of him being "psychotic".
Since colleges are not in the habit of measuring the learning disabilities that might be comorbid with ADHD, the college staff and some students who have interacted with Sam socially are unnerved by his sometimes erratic and often confrontational behavior.
Honestly, Sam did not quit university; he had to quit because after his brother Gerald got married, nobody could be at home to help out their mother. A housekeeper was totally out of the question, since Mrs. Jones has a peculiar way of putting away the dishes and glasses.
In this story, the mother of two boys might have an undiagnosed narcissistic personality. We do not know about the father, but since he left his surviving family, he must have been a CEO who spent a lot of time away working to afford the mansion his younger son and wife now live. He may too be undiagnosed.
As for the older son Gerald, his narcissistic personality is in check. This allowed him to date, court and marry his wife, who may have had the neurotic urge to avoid moving into his parents' house due to her poor self image.
Lastly, Sam has ADHD but had controlled it throughout childhood. However, the stress of finishing college led him to "drop out" to support his mother. Since both he and his brother have worked together on their mother's will, they both know they will be entitled to a lot of the inheritance when their mother passes on.
In my imaginary family, it appears that nobody is sociopathic except for the reason why Sam actually dropped out, for he was actually asked quietly to leave due to his ineptness in a failed romance with a lovely lady named Sue whose intelligence matched his own.
College life meant that she had to go to pub night, and was well on her way to become a chronic alcoholic in denial, often convincing Sam to come to dances and maintain her legal drug of choice. Sam rarely drinks, because his father died of alcohol-related causes.
When he tried to break off the relationship, Sue tried to convince him that they would surely get married. So when she asked for money for a wedding dress, he gave it to her. When she suggested they get engagement rings, again Sam obliged.
However, Mrs. Jones was canny, and figured Sue was up to no good. "Nobody for my Sammy unless she is honest and trustworthy. Her drinking like a fish rings a bell." Sammy thought he was in love, until Mrs. Jones asked Sue if she had picked out a wedding dress.
"Well, I'd put a down-payment with the money your son gave me," Sue replied. "But, no worries. It'll be worth it, Mrs. Jones."
Then Sue went out with Sam to pub night at the college. At some point during the night, she got him drunk. The next morning, Mrs. Jones got a call from Sam. "Mom, Sue's gone. So's our engagement rings."
In this imaginary world, Sue has the narcissistic personality to work her charms on a neurotic such as Sam and also his mother. Yet the clues were hidden in plain sight: the first clue is drug addiction. A disturbed character like Sue may be highly intelligent, but likes to engage in risky behaviour. For Sue, that consisted of drinking since age 12. After a string of boyfriends, she managed to avoid pregnancy via safe sex.
Each and every ex-boyfriends of Sue, if asked nicely, would admit Sue was a high-maintenance woman. If they were to offer any advice, then it would be "Don't give her money. Buy her things."
So, this is where the story ends: Sam is going to look after his mother until the day she dies, with Gerald and his lovely wife, Louise, occasionally visiting to provide updates on Louise's pregnancy and other chitchat.
Overal, their narcissistic personalities are under control, barely. However, Mrs. Jones put it simply: "Blood is thicker than water. My late husband worked hard and invested wisely. His legacy has been passed on, and when it's time for me to go, my sons will be well looked after, especially my Sammy."
In truth, the Jones' family is wealthy. Even though each of them have some sense of entitlement, they earned it in their own way. Gerald got a wife while Sammy lost at love only to decide his one true filial love is his mother.
In stark contrast, Sue lives in moral poverty. Although Sammy's potential wealth was apparent, it made him an easy target for Sue. When she realized that both Sam and his mother were pressuring her to get married and settled down, she showed her true colors and left before following through.
After declaring the money for a wedding dress and the engagement rings as theft to the police, Mrs. Jones and her son Sam, have yet to recover the money, let alone the engagement rings. Though it is possible that the rings may be recovered one day due to the engraving on both rings: one says "To Sue with love and respect" and the other, "To Sam with honor and trust."
20130104
The Myth of the Patriarchy
Almost every man who is divorced agrees with me about the costs of dating a suitable mate, marrying her, and if it sours, alimony for the wife, sometimes with bad blood sown by divorce lawyers and their psychological warfare BS they feed the women.
It's true that the patriarchy has been cooked up to oppress feminists since time immemorial is a bald-faced lie, and truer that men have no privilege in that so-called patriarchy today.
None.
For divorce has exposed the patriarchy as myth.
It's true that the patriarchy has been cooked up to oppress feminists since time immemorial is a bald-faced lie, and truer that men have no privilege in that so-called patriarchy today.
None.
For divorce has exposed the patriarchy as myth.
20121224
Mutah: Temporary Marriages in Shi'a Islam
In Shi'a Islam, the mutah is a temporary marriage contract when the
Muslim woman is seen as having the intelligence to carry it out. Except
it is a two edged sword, because once the contract is settled, the
woman cannot pull out.
The following quote is from Iranian Shi'a religious leader Ayatollah Tabatabaei, but may practiced in poor Muslim nations like Indonesia by Muslim women with Saudi men. However, it is forbidden in Sunni Islam, however only the woman is subject to punishment.
"8) In Shia fikh (law) a woman is traditionally regarded as 'nakis' in intelligence which means defective. However, in mutah she is able to contract her own mutah without witnesses. Normally, she is not allowed even to have the independence to ask for divorce without a wakil(representative) of the marja (Scholar she follows instead of the 12th Imam) because she is 'emotional' and prone to hasty and wrong decisions. In mutah this is not the case. First she is regarded as 'wholly intelligent' to make the contract in private but once the contract is done then she is not able to pull out. Then she returns to becoming 'nakis' again and only the man can give back his right for sex with her."
Fikh treats women as nakis (defective) in intelligence because in Muslim law, emotional intelligence is considered lower than rational intelligence. This actually is a cultural bias. Mutah in itself reveals this cultural bias in favor of men because only the men can say "No, I will not have sex with you."
However things get worse.
"9. Children too can do mutah if they are over 9 for girls and over 14 for boys. However, the father's permission is needed for girls who are still virgins. Ayatullah Tabatabaei says that a girl who is not a virgin but who lost her virginity through fornication must be treated as a virgin when she wants to do mutah and therefore seek the father's permission. This leads to women fornicating rather than doing mutah as it needs permission from the father."
Comments:
Mutah is worse than traditional marriage: the woman will be punished if she gets pregnant. Yet Islamic law does not allow for contraceptives, possibly for the same reasons why the Catholic church bans marriage. The purpose of mutah appears to be to create slaves, since even a non-Muslim woman can be trained in mutah.
Any woman who gives birth to illegimate children i.e. children that the father denies is his (and his denial is bindiong), then she is subject to 99 lashes for fornicating.
Personally, I feel that the temporary husband should be obligated to pay a blood price for each child arising from that marriage. If he can agree to a contract like this, then he should be obligated to learn about condoms at the least.
The following quote is from Iranian Shi'a religious leader Ayatollah Tabatabaei, but may practiced in poor Muslim nations like Indonesia by Muslim women with Saudi men. However, it is forbidden in Sunni Islam, however only the woman is subject to punishment.
"8) In Shia fikh (law) a woman is traditionally regarded as 'nakis' in intelligence which means defective. However, in mutah she is able to contract her own mutah without witnesses. Normally, she is not allowed even to have the independence to ask for divorce without a wakil(representative) of the marja (Scholar she follows instead of the 12th Imam) because she is 'emotional' and prone to hasty and wrong decisions. In mutah this is not the case. First she is regarded as 'wholly intelligent' to make the contract in private but once the contract is done then she is not able to pull out. Then she returns to becoming 'nakis' again and only the man can give back his right for sex with her."
Fikh treats women as nakis (defective) in intelligence because in Muslim law, emotional intelligence is considered lower than rational intelligence. This actually is a cultural bias. Mutah in itself reveals this cultural bias in favor of men because only the men can say "No, I will not have sex with you."
However things get worse.
"9. Children too can do mutah if they are over 9 for girls and over 14 for boys. However, the father's permission is needed for girls who are still virgins. Ayatullah Tabatabaei says that a girl who is not a virgin but who lost her virginity through fornication must be treated as a virgin when she wants to do mutah and therefore seek the father's permission. This leads to women fornicating rather than doing mutah as it needs permission from the father."
Comments:
Mutah is worse than traditional marriage: the woman will be punished if she gets pregnant. Yet Islamic law does not allow for contraceptives, possibly for the same reasons why the Catholic church bans marriage. The purpose of mutah appears to be to create slaves, since even a non-Muslim woman can be trained in mutah.
Any woman who gives birth to illegimate children i.e. children that the father denies is his (and his denial is bindiong), then she is subject to 99 lashes for fornicating.
Personally, I feel that the temporary husband should be obligated to pay a blood price for each child arising from that marriage. If he can agree to a contract like this, then he should be obligated to learn about condoms at the least.
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