If I had to censor my love for dark humor just to save lives of the suicidal, I'd feel melancholic. So please bear with me.
Keeping that in mind and having saved my soul the LDS way, perhaps suicide might prepare my lost soul for a glory so dark that "Telestial" would only add to the confusion.
Although all Christendom might call it "hell", I'd rather call it a dark glory for the wicked, a murky destination interspersed with flashes of what is mistaken for lightning but is actually the arrival of missionaries sent by God to soothe my suffering in the afterlife.
While this cosmological rationalization of the fate of the suicidal in the afterlife may be considered too deep for my followers to fully comprehend, it is designed counter the idea that the least of the LDS glories is always full of gnashing of teeth.
For my understanding of the least of the three glories of the LDS afterlife is of the fitting end to a miserable life where the term "Telestial" comes to mean "the eventual destination of the unbelievers who enjoyed their descent into the darkest of glories only to endure the home visits of elders who minister to them for all eternity."
After long consideration of such a fate, I find it so ridiculous that my melancholy has left me smiling unexpectedly!
It is not schadenfreude - that joy on realizing that suffering is universal - which inspires my change of mood from melancholy to elation.
Rather, I am thankful to the elders and sister missionaries who I have met and helped guide me towards the Light that outshines mortal understanding.
In gratitude of how the Lord works in mysterious ways, I ask myself how any melancholy withstand Him?
It cannot.
For the unconditional love of God Almighty is such that his mercy brightens the lives of all of us who accept his Only Begotten into their lives.
References
Telestial Kingdom: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Degrees_of_glory#Telestial_kingdom
Showing posts with label missionary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label missionary. Show all posts
20150205
20141221
The Prospect of Marriage Scares Me (satire)
Recently I have noticed hints by my fellow LDS leaders (a married missionary and a teacher who has the higher priesthood) about getting married to a single woman in our ward.
In the first incident, I had dinner with a Taiwanese LDS in the Melchizedek priesthood. As a part of introducing new prospects to Mormon life, I got invited to dinner with his family along with the elders who watched over my spiritual welfare.
Sometime before dinner, I accompanied Brother W to a female prospect at a house she rents with another prospect, but both women were out. Nobody was home - it was like they realized the LDS life is not right for them.
Even though I knew something might be up, I never mentioned my suspicion that he might be introducing me to a potential marriage prospect to Brother W since the LDS theology highly values traditional marriage.
In the second incident, at the Christmas dinner, the married Elder M tried get me to loosen up and stop being the quiet, shy and retiring guy that I am with a lady from Mongolia. We are having an awkward time communicating, but my observation of her behavior and the subtle hints of friendliness indicate to me that we are much alike in personality.
Even so, my aversion to finding a new mate as a new baptized member this early — my baptism was on August 29 - four months membership so far — is making me act like a man who is totally unprepared for marriage.
My income cannot support a mate - it could lead to complex financial difficulties for me, more complicated than the single life that I now live. Indeed, I know that I am not ready, so that is why I am acting like an unlikely prospect rather than like a man.
However, the life of chastity that an LDS member is supposed to follow will almost guarantee getting married if both he and the prospective wife have paid their tithes and fulfilled all their obligations regarding priesthood ordination.
Yet I know from the five failed relationships that the prime cause of their failure is premarital sex. Added to this is the realization that my sexual hangups is related to being not "marriageable" i.e. the married life is more expensive than the single life.
Overall though I shall attempt to be less aloof and unsociable as time goes by as a Mormon but for now, I have some reading to do...
TO BE CONTINUED
Ordination: http://www.linkapedia-christianity.com/digest/ordination/97407342/20d869b1c88ebc297049467acf69543d?checkLogin=1&lnkpd4f3b8=18f16
In the first incident, I had dinner with a Taiwanese LDS in the Melchizedek priesthood. As a part of introducing new prospects to Mormon life, I got invited to dinner with his family along with the elders who watched over my spiritual welfare.
Sometime before dinner, I accompanied Brother W to a female prospect at a house she rents with another prospect, but both women were out. Nobody was home - it was like they realized the LDS life is not right for them.
Even though I knew something might be up, I never mentioned my suspicion that he might be introducing me to a potential marriage prospect to Brother W since the LDS theology highly values traditional marriage.
In the second incident, at the Christmas dinner, the married Elder M tried get me to loosen up and stop being the quiet, shy and retiring guy that I am with a lady from Mongolia. We are having an awkward time communicating, but my observation of her behavior and the subtle hints of friendliness indicate to me that we are much alike in personality.
Even so, my aversion to finding a new mate as a new baptized member this early — my baptism was on August 29 - four months membership so far — is making me act like a man who is totally unprepared for marriage.
My income cannot support a mate - it could lead to complex financial difficulties for me, more complicated than the single life that I now live. Indeed, I know that I am not ready, so that is why I am acting like an unlikely prospect rather than like a man.
However, the life of chastity that an LDS member is supposed to follow will almost guarantee getting married if both he and the prospective wife have paid their tithes and fulfilled all their obligations regarding priesthood ordination.
Yet I know from the five failed relationships that the prime cause of their failure is premarital sex. Added to this is the realization that my sexual hangups is related to being not "marriageable" i.e. the married life is more expensive than the single life.
Overall though I shall attempt to be less aloof and unsociable as time goes by as a Mormon but for now, I have some reading to do...
TO BE CONTINUED
Ordination: http://www.linkapedia-christianity.com/digest/ordination/97407342/20d869b1c88ebc297049467acf69543d?checkLogin=1&lnkpd4f3b8=18f16
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