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It's Been Awhile (satire)

To all my fans/followers:

My excuse for not regularly posting articles on my blog is this: I have been obsessed with work, mainly because my new boots allow for walking for 5.5 and 6 hours.

It is possible that I've almost walked a thousand miles. Hence my need for prescription medications such as gabapentin (relieves neuropathic pain), flexeril (relaxes the muscles in my shoulder, and recently bupropion (Zyban is said to cure cigarette smoking).

Even the Zyban had the wonderful side effect of causing me to not indulge in bad habits — mainly paying more attention to my technology than to my surroundings.

Within 15 minutes playing attention to my technology, I feel the the signs of a relapse but alcohol or drugs is not my vice. Instead, I madly type on my keyboard and create articles like this one.

Look, I have cut out coffee and tea, alcohol, masturbation, and smoking. Instead of sinning quietly, I catch myself reading the Gospel Library app. Though a few people are not clued in that when I pulled out my smart-phone or tablet, I am not about to surf to porn websites. Instead, I am searching for a quote by Joseph Smith, but came up with this quote from the New Testament:

Little children, let no man deceive you.
He who does rigorousness is righteous,
even as he is righteous.
— 1 John 3:7

To masturbate or watch porn or indulge in adultery and prostitution, or commit homosexual acts, is condemned by John when he wrote:

He who commits sin is of the devil,
for the devil sinned from the beginning.
For this purpose the Son of God was manifested,
that he might destroy the works of the devil.
— 1 John 3:8

By praying to the Lord and beseeching Jesus Christ instead of indulging in booze, cigarettes, wine, soft and hard drugs, adultery, masturbation, prostitution, coffee and tea, and homosexual acts, I shall eventually be rid of the evil that these things do to me that even comes to affect my family and friends.

Oh dear! I have become no fun anymore to the all sorts of decadent hedonists, those salt of the earth who party and stay up late at night.

All it takes is confessing your sin to someone trustworthy like a bishop, a priest, a reverend, a rabbi, a shaman or even a trusted friend, and earnestly repent. The worst that could happen to you is not taking sacrament next Sunday. In due time, by following the doctrines of your faith, you will discover that worldliness is only fun for the worldly.

Once we are baptized, the best way to renew our covenant with God is to faithfully attend sacrament meetings on Sunday, the Lord's Day. For the baptized are born of God after being dipped in the baptism fount.

Whosoever is born of God does not commit sin, for his seed remains in him and he cannot sin, because he is born of God.

For it is better to be a child of God, born of God, than to be a child of the devil. When you practice righteousness, you are of God, and so too are they who love their brothers and sisters.

For this is the message that you heard from the beginning, that we should love one another.
— I John 3:9-11

Yet the habits that you used to love, you come to detest them, not being satisfied with what you do to get relief. That love is a false love because the more you indulge yourself with a bad habit, the more you are socially isolated from the world.

For desire when indulged leaves a bitter-sweet taste in your mouth; but your love is false because desire is more likely to lead to sin when indulged. As for love, it is best to remove all conditions associated with it so that we may love unconditionally.

So, I have been praying about and meditating upon my life, only to see that Joseph Smith's words are true: each of us are free agents who can choose to do good or to do evil.

Indeed, in the heat of passion, I once blamed others for my trespasses, but no more.

Instead I enjoy giving sacrament to members who, because of illness, cannot attend church. It is also why I enjoy participating in discussions during the Elders Quorum meeting most of all.

Now that I have confessed my sin of avoiding responsibility for my actions, I shall repent and try to be the quiet silence in the aftermath of a storm.

Thanks for reading this blog entry. Please take care of yourselves lest you entertain the devil unaware. ;)

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