Usually when a person is negative about what another person has said or written, it says more about his unconscious negativity in his life.
In some rare cases, it may be indication of any number of cognitive distortions.
If so, here's what I managed to come up with as possible solutions to key cognitive distortions.
1) Things do not fit black and white categories. This is the fallacy of all or nothing thinking. Things might be both grey and colourful. The proof of this is the metaphor of a digital photograph, which is saturated with colours and tinged with shades of grey. Likewise, being human, I am not perfect and live within the limits of my imperfection. The solution here is found in pausing to reflect on the greyness of living in post-modern times.
2) A single negative event does not fit into any sort of pattern of defeat. This is a fallacy of over-generalization. For each event has both positive and negative qualities. Therefore, I need to focus on accepting the event as happening as it is.
3) The fallacy of the mental filter is that it distorts reality into being just the focus of one negative detail which is dwelt on until all of reality is darkened. What positive details I may have noticed are forgotten, but not for long. I may think of the positive details as they come into focus. Thus, reality is not dark nor is it just that one negative detail.
The truth is, reality is composed of neutral events and things to which each of us ascribes positive or negative qualities based on criteria according to a multitude of factors including our experiences, education, vocation, and so on.
4) Positive experiences are more important to my well-being than negative experiences. The fallacy of disqualifying the positive is that it rejects those positive experiences based on the flimsy criteria that "it does not count" or some other baseless claim. Everyday experience consistently demonstrates that positive experiences occur more often than negative ones, because that is the way the human mind works. It is how the universe works.
5) The fallacy of jumping to conclusions consists of the negative interpretation of events despite there being no definite facts which convincingly support the conclusion. One variety of jumping to conclusions is mind reading, where I may conclude that someone is reacting negatively to you, and you don't bother to check this out. The solution to this is to either check it out or to pro-actively drop all thought of the matter using meditation. The other variety of this fallacy is the fortune teller error, where I may anticipate that things will turn out badly, and feel that my prediction is an already-established fact. The solution to the fortune teller error is to not anticipate any kind of outcome at all, but to go with the flow i.e. life will bring to me great rewards when I go out into the world.
6) The fallacy of magnification (catastrophizing i.e. making a catastrophe of a thing) or minimization is the exaggeration of the importance of things (my mistakes or someone else's achievements) or "the binocular trick", the inappropriate shrinking of things (events, details) until they appear tiny (my own desirable qualities or the other person's imperfections). The solution to exaggeration of importance requires a lot more work i.e. everything is of equal importance, neither greater or lesser. My own desirable qualities is as important as the next person's. Other people's imperfections are usually of no consequence. Indeed, the fallacy of magnification requires meditation consisting of careful reflection on the matter in order to cut through the delusion of magnification, catastrophizing and minimization.
7) The fallacy of emotional reasoning is that I may assume my negative emotions necessarily reflect the way things are i.e. "I feel it, therefore it must be true." The solution here is to see that the way things are are equally devoid of my emotions, positive or negative. If I feel that the way things are as "bad", then that is not true. If I feel that the way things are "good", then that is not true either. My feelings do not make the way things are true or false. The fallacy of emotional reasoning is the fallacy of the false dilemma.
8) The fallacy of should statements consists of the use of "should" and "shouldn't", as if one had to be whipped and punished before being expected to do anything. "Must" and "ought" are also offenders. The emotional consequence is guilt. When I direct should statements towards others, I feel anger, frustration, and resentment. The solution to this fallacy is to mindfully let go of guilt, and have no expectations of self and others.
9) The fallacy of labelling and mislabelling is the extreme form of over-generalization. Rather than describing my error, I attach a negative label to myself. Rather than admitting I didn't visit my mother , I call myself a "bad son". When someone else's behaviour rubs me the wrong way, I attach a negative label to him: "He's weird". Mislabelling involves describing an event with language that is highly coloured and emotionally loaded. These labels may have context in the real world, but only within the dysfunctional context.
Such over-generalizations are inappropriate judgement calls which are not helpful in any situation since they tend to create more stress and suffering for each of us.
Thus the solution to labelling and mislabelling is to let go of any tendency to label and mislabel behaviour and people. In order to do so, I will cultivate, maintain and perpetuate a nonjudgmental attitude towards life.
2 comments:
DEFINITIONS OF COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS
1. ALL OR NOTHING THINKING: You see things in black-and-white categories. If your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure.
2. OVERGENERALIZATION: You see a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.
3. MENTAL FILTER: You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it exclusive so that your vision of all reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that discolours the entire beaker of water.
4. DISQUALIFYING THE POSITIVE: You reject positive experiences by insisting they "don't count" for some reason or other. In this way you can maintain the negative belief that is contradicted by everyday experience.
5. JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS: You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts that convincingly support your conclusion.
• a. Mind Reading: You arbitrarily conclude that someone is reacting negatively to you, and you don't bother to check this out.
• b. The Fortune Teller Error: You anticipate that things will turn out badly, and you feel convinced that your prediction is an already-established fact.
6. MAGNIFICATION (CATASTROPHIZING) OR MINIMIZATION: You exaggerate the importance of things (such as your goof-up or someone else's achievement), or you inappropriately shrink things until they appear tiny (your own desirable qualities or the other fellow's imperfections). This is also called the "binocular trick".
7. EMOTIONAL REASONING: You assume that your negative emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are: "I feel it, therefore it must be true."
8. SHOULD STATEMENTS: You try to motivate yourself with shoulds and shouldn'ts, as if you had to be whipped and punished before you could be expected to do anything. "Musts" and "oughts" are also offenders. The emotional consequence is guilt. When you direct should statements toward others, you feel anger, frustration, and resentment.
9. LABELING AND MISLABELING: This is an extreme form of overgeneralization. Instead of describing your error, you attach a negative label to yourself. "I'm a loser." When someone else's behaviour rubs you the wrong way, you attach a negative label to him: "He's a goddamn louse." Mislabeling involves describing an event with language that is highly coloured and emotionally loaded.
10. PERSONALIZATION: You see yourself as the cause of some negative external event which in fact you were not primarily responsible for.
From: Burns, David D. (1980). Feeling Good: The new mood therapy. New York: Signet (pp. 40-41)
ok as someone who has been challenged by depression for most of my life.i can say that these are not individual and unique problems but rather all are a part of depression.these issues are complex individually and when combined together in any configuration there is a real challenge involved in correcting thinking patterns.i have made progress over the many years i have lived with this disease but i hold no hope for ever being happy or even a day when i don't have the word suicide in my thoughts.
do not misunderstand me i do not plan on taking my life but the thought of it is ever present.
i would love to hear from 1 person who has had major depression and recovered from it.
having once been happy and then crashing in to a deep depression i can say that although medication can help it does not replace natural happiness.i do remember enough to know the difference.
the funny thing is that when i made it to a point in my life where i selected my words carefully and thought and spoke in a way that was neutral to all 10 of these things i had many people treat me very poorly.
it was ok when it was from people who i never considered to be an important part of my life,but when it was from people i cared about and was close to it made me start to change to please them.hence downward spiral into a deep depression.
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