The Moderation Method: The Glass is Both Half Empty and Half Full!

Even if my life didn't turn out well as my classmates who graduated in 1976, then I will still insist that I would never change what I did other than get more sleep.

I have a method to deal with life.

My method is to always bounce back from any short stumble, be it financial or what have you (depression, anxiety, upsets).

For someone to tell me such and such is for my own good without any humor is too mercenary for my tastes. You may think you are helping me, but it's like sticking a knife in me to tell me "It's for your own good."

How dare you to think you know what's good for me?

It is not rude to say "I understand", because that beats anything that self help books and the inspirational speaker can give me! ;)

I too have found nobody likes what they mistake for wavering i.e. to honestly state the truth that the glass is half empty and half full, while around you the realists cry "you cannot have both!!!"

Um... Sorry, most hard cases at the mental health clinic ooze with seeing the mirror darkly and insisting that the cup is half empty. Is it really up to me to help my brother who also suffers when he insists that he has to be honest with his feelings?

That's not honesty; that's a form of subtle violence against all the positive feelings which we bottle up until we only have negative ones to practice.

Truth is, when you're home and isolated to the point where you think being home is more "normal" than talking with someone, then you're maladapted, and no one may change your mind unless they talk as I do now.

Yes, I am mildly maladapted but I'm trying to show the positive and the negative, because balanced expression beats gazing in that dark mirror.

If this offends anyone who insists on the safety of the hearth over dealing with life outside, then I believe deep down that talking to someone hurts less than your reluctance to share with a trusted friend.

All the anxiety you have might have you to believe your delusions about other people are real. A person is only real when they can glow with positive vibes whilst explaining how they conquer the negative ones daily.

Hopefully the gentle reader is clear of mind enough to see the beauty of positive thinking in what I write.

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Originally posted November 9, 2012 at 6:45 PM PST

Meditation Has Freed My Mind (satire)

Having meditated regularly over the past 20 years or so, I would consider meditation to be a deeper form of prayer that has cleared my mind and aided in gleaning insight from the careful introspection which has accompanied it.

However, meditation is not like addressing God, then making a request of him, and closing with an 'Amen.' Instead, it has been the way that I focus on my breathing, while letting go of clinging to the thoughts which continue on dancing in my head.

While I do not know when I realized that there is no way in the world to stop thinking, it is possible to ignore most of my thoughts, except for the thoughts which I cling to and build into prose about stuff that is very interesting to me.

By letting go of clinging to my thoughts, I arrive at what might be called "no-thought" as in "no thought do I cling to, lest I forget about meditation." Having not clung to a single thought, it is like I have been freed from thinking itself.

It is as though the freedom that meditation provides is found by rendering sedate the mind so that it can clearly see the way, rather than being distracted by the monkey mind, untrained and striving for freedom.

For freedom exists within the framework of rules. Without rules, there is only licentiousness, the mother of true chaos.

Yet that chaos can be rendered null and void through meditation, which clears the mind and helps to focus it on liberation from the very same rules that helps the devotee reach Nirvana.

Only then can the devotee let go freely without regret, knowing that all those years of sitting on his ass has paid off.

For meditation has freed my mind from thinking, so that I may think more clearly about specific thoughts such as liberation of the mind. It begins with the thought that the mind is essentially free to think, and does so almost all the time while I am awake.

Perhaps when I am asleep, the mind may think but I am not aware of those thoughts, even though they may arise during a dream.

As I mentioned at the beginning of this article, i have actively meditated for over 20 years. When once it was difficult to meditate, quite possibly because I was doing it wrong, now it is almost too easy to meditate and enter the "zone". The key to meditation is to smile with joy, and work from there.

Too often have I seen stern-faced meditators trying to achieve satori. Believe me when I tell you, a smile might make the difference between thinking and being freed of clinging to thinking.

Indeed, a smile leads to liberation.

Buddhist Mysticism: The Art of Surrendering

Surrendering

Quotations from Dennis Genpo Merzel

In our practice, really to fail, once and for all, to fail absolutely and completely: that is it.
(p. 112)

"Practice" refers to Zen meditation. Failure is the essence of surrender.

When you give it all up, you get it all. You end up losing absolutely nothing, other than some well cherished opinions and ideas.
(p. 39)

"Give it all up" refers to surrendering. By surrendering the ego to Zen meditation, the rewards are many: happiness, love, patience — these are all transformed into their positive forms.

The very effort to stop the ceaseless movement of thoughts keeps us stirred up. Just give up all this effort to stop thinking! Fruitful effort is to let go of effort. Strive to stop striving! When you do, everything settles by itself.
(p. 31)


Why try to stop the ceaseless movement of thoughts then? There is no point in trying to stop thinking. It is easier to follow each thought as they come and go. By letting go of "stop thinking", the calm mind arises eventually. This is what is meant by "everything settles by itself."

And what really happens the moment you say, 'OK, thoughts, come up, I welcome you!' Suddenly there are no thoughts! What is happening? 'Come on, thoughts, where are you?' Except for an occasional blip, they stop arising.
(p. 96)

When the Zen practitioner becomes open to the ceaseless movement of thoughts, all of his thoughts will leave him less stirred up. In the end, he shall achieve "no-thought" with little effort. Even when he goes looking for them during the practice, the movement of thought no longer distract him.

It is a simple fact: whatever you resist will persist. If you are resisting suffering, you suffer more. If you are resisting confusion, you remain confused. If you are looking for peace, you find yourself constantly disturbed. If you are seeking after clarity, you are in a muddle. If you do not want to be angry, you are going to walk around angry. If you do not mind being angry, you will never be bothered about anger, because you will not be holding on to it. Having no opinion for or against, just being open to whatever comes, you are free.
(p. 97)"

By resisting change, the thinking mind will continue. That which you resist may cause its opposite to arise, be it suffering, confusion and even peace. The Zen practitioner ought not mind being angry until he is no longer bothered about it, due to letting go of it. Likewise, to neither be for or against the opinions you hold dear, is true liberation.

By surrendering to the ceaseless movements of thoughts, I develop the ability to rise above them and not let them stir up my feelings.

Thus, letting go of "thinking" by returning to "breathing", no-thought is achieved.

Despite the ebb and flow of "just thinking", it is still possible to be free of their influence. By not minding being angry, I am able to let go of anger.

By not clinging to anger, I am free of it.

Indeed, by not clinging to thoughts, true freedom arises.

This is what the art of surrendering is about.

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Originally posted: October 17, 2003 3:27 AM

Everything is beautiful (satire)

No, that's not a statement a manic makes. For everything is beautiful in life unless we suck the life out of it.

Most likely, there shall be complaints galore about the ugliness in life, and the punchline may be dropped. "I have a secret plan to make my life beautiful!"

Yet there will not be any coherent elucidation of that plan.

Why not? Because it's "a secret."

A person who is more holistically connected with the world would admit that he does not know why everything is beautiful.

A manic would question beauty because of the secret hatred that he possesses like a piece of rock crystal.

All around him, the world is sparkly like a diamond, yet out of reach.

Almost everyone else is enjoying the view, and finding gems of wisdom in the silver lining of Heaven itself.

Only the pessimist would call Heaven "the clouds above."

Even so, it is true that everything is beautiful in its own way.

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Originally posted: September 10, 2011 12:29 PM PDT

Anything is Possible (poem)

When you think it is going
to rain, it shall rain.
When you know it's all sunshine
and lollipops, shine! —
for the world is your oyster.

If I know of this,
then what shall become of it
but knowledge I use
to change my world everyday —
even when that change is small?

When you see the cup half-full,
never half-empty,
even a rainy day is great
despite the wetness —
for every day is golden!

How do I know this?
Because my experience
Taught me to see through
positive and negative
as though it was all neutral.

When you feel the moment has
produced the best of
possible worlds, remember:
there are exceptions
to each and every rule now.

With knowledge comes this:
the knower and the known are
entwined by close bonds
of knowing truth as it is —
anything is possible!

Saying No to Naysayers The Most Positive Thing to Do

Sometimes negative people present a false downside to positivity e.g. its inability to prevent the downside, which also applies to naysayers.

Additionally, negative people claim that by being negative one prepares oneself for the worst.

Yet they certainly do not appear to enjoy the best of times either.

How can one prepare for the worst and ignore the tiny blessings in life? That is not only disastrous to longterm goals but doomed to breed failure on the short term.

However I am not trying to be negative about the people who are negative.

Indeed everything I said about them so far is the most positive I wish to say about the naysayers.

We need more "fuck yes" and less "no"! We need less "raining on the parade" and more "sunshine and lollipops!"

Indeed, life is too short to spend in woe.

If the naysayers are too busy investing in misery to have fun, I say "No" to their seriousness, and to fun, a big "fuck yes!"

10 Solutions to Reduce Stress

1. Ask a friend or family member for a hug
   
2. Breathe deeply
   
3. Dance it out
   
4. Discuss what's stressing you out with a friend
   
5. Focus on what you can control
   
6. Go for a walk to freshen your mind
   
7. Go to bed earlier
   
8. Look for opportunities in life's challenges
   
9. Reminisce about good times
   
10. Smile
    

Seligman on a God Who is Not Supernatural

"Like many Westerners, the idea of a transcendent purpose (or of a God who grounds such purpose) has always seemed untenable for me. Positive Psychology points to the way toward a secular approach to noble purpose and transcendent meaning — and even more astonishingly, toward a God who is not supernatural." - p. 14, M. Seligman, Authentic Happiness

A God who is not supernatural is nature in its splendour within Einstein's cosmic religion with trees as temples and forests as churches that Gorbachev respected.

Perhaps Seligman has heard of Gorbachev's quote.

Furthermore, it seems like he has heard of Matthew Fox.

So I am curious about Seligman because his "God who is not supernatural" echoes in the words of Gorbachev and Einstein.

Indeed it has a subtle ecumenical feel to it which is broad-minded and embraces all forms of human expression, including art and science. :)

---

Reference:
Matthew Fox on belief, chaos and fundamentalism: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CfPqO30hHE

Gorbachev quote: I believe in the cosmos. All of us are linked to the cosmos. Look at the sun. If there is no sun, then we cannot exist. So nature is my god. To me, nature is sacred. Trees are my temples and forests are my cathedrals. -- "Nature Is My God" - interview with Fred Matser in Resurgence No. 184 (September-October 1997)

Blog to Write "It" Out

"It" refers to my thoughts and opinions, with careful consideration of what I write.

I enjoy going back to edit my blog until what I write feels true to me — usually closer to reason than gut feeling, though sometimes with a mix of rational and emotive thought when necessary.

Yet I prepare my thoughts before I put my feelings out.

For blogging isn't a daily process at the moment because a life solely lived on the Internet lacks the inspiration that interaction with people in real life brings.

While that's my opinion, we are all free to chose how we manage our lives, accordingly.

Though there is more to life than living on the Internet.

Every time I step out of my home, I savour every moment away as much as I do when returning home.

Writing a blog entry helps me to express my thoughts, and explore my feelings in a way which is more public than my private journal entries.

Although public opinion requires appropriate content, much of my private writing will not be exposed in this blog so as to preserve my peace of mind.

For self-disclosure of matters best left private has often been unsettling, and sometimes embarrassing to me.

Sometimes I even dread reading this blog after staying late the previous night, least I discover that one of my posts of the previous day contains something which might come back to haunt me.

That's easily solved by going to bed at a decent time, coupled with thinking long and hard about what I wish to write helps me to rest comfortably.

That blogging has helped me become aware of the difference between self and other is why I keep blogging.

If I wish to be helpful to others through this blog, then it's by expressing myself thoughtfully and with careful consideration of the fact that other people may be reading it.

Yes, I am careful about my choice of words when blogging, and admit to some self-censorship.

Other times, though, when the topic is abuse and violence, I will express my feelings strongly.

Life is too precious to wish the worst happened to other people — if I had done so in this blog, then I will find that entry and having regretted writing it, edit or delete it, depending on how I presently feel about the content I'd been writing.

If that's called being inconsistent, then I am guilty of it. If in the past I wrote something that insults someone or makes light of tragedy, then when I find it, I'll edit it to remain consistent with good taste. If this is self-censorship, so be it.

While that may sound politically correct, this blog would not be online long were I to step outside the boundaries of common sense.

With careful preparation, I like to blog to write it out — my thoughts and feelings about myself and others.

Affirmation on Life (poem)

Whatever happens in life,
I hold onto the positive aspect
and accept the negative as
inspiration to learn from
my mistakes without regret.

Indeed, I live for the moment
when what I have learned
helps me to see clearly
the path to life as-is.

What helps me the most
is careful meditation
on those mistakes
which results in change.

Thoughts on Computers and Especially Appreciation of Linux

Computers have helped their users to develop their minds, using their behavioral and mental attributes as mind tools to help understand themselves and others.

Though, the ego needs to be daily deflated in order to maintain its health. In real life, nobody cares if you think you have one. They care more about how you can help them be connected to others.

People respect what one can do with one's skills and attributes to improve our lives - to be helpful and of service to others without thought of fame and gain.

With growing experience and a positive mindset, the computer aids those of us dedicated to that pursuit.

For myself, the advanced skill-set I use is due exposure to Linux since 1992, and especially due to the decision in 2006 to switch to Ubuntu Linux circa 2007. Since then, my Linux experience has grown.

As a result of computer use, I have grown to appreciate the work of many people associated with Ubuntu Linux, and especially with Linux itself. My thanks to them, and to Mark Shuttleworth of Canonical and especially to Linus Torvalds!

Possible Solutions to Cognitive Distortions

Usually when a person is negative about what another person has said or written, it says more about his unconscious negativity in his life.

In some rare cases, it may be indication of any number of cognitive distortions.

If so, here's what I managed to come up with as possible solutions to key cognitive distortions.

1) Things do not fit black and white categories. This is the fallacy of all or nothing thinking. Things might be both grey and colourful. The proof of this is the metaphor of a digital photograph, which is saturated with colours and tinged with shades of grey. Likewise, being human, I am not perfect and live within the limits of my imperfection. The solution here is found in pausing to reflect on the greyness of living in post-modern times.

2) A single negative event does not fit into any sort of pattern of defeat. This is a fallacy of over-generalization. For each event has both positive and negative qualities. Therefore, I need to focus on accepting the event as happening as it is.

3) The fallacy of the mental filter is that it distorts reality into being just the focus of one negative detail which is dwelt on until all of reality is darkened. What positive details I may have noticed are forgotten, but not for long. I may think of the positive details as they come into focus. Thus, reality is not dark nor is it just that one negative detail.

The truth is, reality is composed of neutral events and things to which each of us ascribes positive or negative qualities based on criteria according to a multitude of factors including our experiences, education, vocation, and so on.

4) Positive experiences are more important to my well-being than negative experiences. The fallacy of disqualifying the positive is that it rejects those positive experiences based on the flimsy criteria that "it does not count" or some other baseless claim. Everyday experience consistently demonstrates that positive experiences occur more often than negative ones, because that is the way the human mind works. It is how the universe works.

5) The fallacy of jumping to conclusions consists of the negative interpretation of events despite there being no definite facts which convincingly support the conclusion. One variety of jumping to conclusions is mind reading, where I may conclude that someone is reacting negatively to you, and you don't bother to check this out. The solution to this is to either check it out or to pro-actively drop all thought of the matter using meditation. The other variety of this fallacy is the fortune teller error, where I may anticipate that things will turn out badly, and feel that my prediction is an already-established fact. The solution to the fortune teller error is to not anticipate any kind of outcome at all, but to go with the flow i.e. life will bring to me great rewards when I go out into the world.

6) The fallacy of magnification (catastrophizing i.e. making a catastrophe of a thing) or minimization is the exaggeration of the importance of things (my mistakes or someone else's achievements) or "the binocular trick", the inappropriate shrinking of things (events, details) until they appear tiny (my own desirable qualities or the other person's imperfections). The solution to exaggeration of importance requires a lot more work i.e. everything is of equal importance, neither greater or lesser. My own desirable qualities is as important as the next person's. Other people's imperfections are usually of no consequence. Indeed, the fallacy of magnification requires meditation consisting of careful reflection on the matter in order to cut through the delusion of magnification, catastrophizing and minimization.
7) The fallacy of emotional reasoning is that I may assume my negative emotions necessarily reflect the way things are i.e. "I feel it, therefore it must be true." The solution here is to see that the way things are are equally devoid of my emotions, positive or negative. If I feel that the way things are as "bad", then that is not true. If I feel that the way things are "good", then that is not true either. My feelings do not make the way things are true or false. The fallacy of emotional reasoning is the fallacy of the false dilemma.

8) The fallacy of should statements consists of the use of "should" and "shouldn't", as if one had to be whipped and punished before being expected to do anything. "Must" and "ought" are also offenders. The emotional consequence is guilt. When I direct should statements towards others, I feel anger, frustration, and resentment. The solution to this fallacy is to mindfully let go of guilt, and have no expectations of self and others.

9) The fallacy of labelling and mislabelling is the extreme form of over-generalization. Rather than describing my error, I attach a negative label to myself. Rather than admitting I didn't visit my mother , I call myself a "bad son". When someone else's behaviour rubs me the wrong way, I attach a negative label to him: "He's weird". Mislabelling involves describing an event with language that is highly coloured and emotionally loaded. These labels may have context in the real world, but only within the dysfunctional context.

Such over-generalizations are inappropriate judgement calls which are not helpful in any situation since they tend to create more stress and suffering for each of us.

Thus the solution to labelling and mislabelling is to let go of any tendency to label and mislabel behaviour and people. In order to do so, I will cultivate, maintain and perpetuate a nonjudgmental attitude towards life.

Be MORE Day by Day

"If you want 2010 to be significantly better than 2009, transport your mind by re-thinking beliefs and attitudes that do not really make you to be MORE. A great year is birthed by radically proactive and positive minds." - Clive Harvey Fox

From experience I know that the beliefs and attitudes which do not truly make me to be more are false ones.

At this particular moment in time, none of them can be thought of because I am tired and have forgotten most of them.

However, the main one that I can think of at the moment is the fear of other people's influence over me, which actually reflects a fear of my own selfishness influencing my attitudes and belief.

Indeed, such fears are not based on reality but on the limitations of human nature.

For I know the following rationalizations to be true:

Conforming to positive beliefs and attitudes makes me to be more, and reflects my true self.

Conforming to negative beliefs and attitudes makes me to be less than I am, and does not reflect my true self.

When acting on beliefs and attitudes which make me to be more than I am, my conduct in the world reflects more of my true self.

When acting on beliefs and attitudes which make me to be less than I am, my conduct in the world reflects less of my true self.

Thus, acting positive and pro-active manner reflects my true self, and makes me to be MORE.

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Indigo Man's Learning Circles: http://twitter.com/learningcircles

Short Meditation on Alternative Medicine And Its Spiritual Roots

In the post-modern era, anti-psychiatry is in vogue. Medications usually induce the very symptoms they are supposed to suppress. Benzodiazepines are notorious for causing suppressed anxiety, sedation and other effects which leads to more anxiety, insomnia and even seizures.

I can think of better medication using rhodiola, 5HTP, valerian, skullcap, and hearty Indian food.

If you combine this with meditation techniques and positive thinking, then stress can be handled, nervousness will reduce, anxiety will fade, and smile will always be quickly found.

All it takes is dedication and practise.

As a Buddhist I know this. The earlier one realizes that one's role in the world is to awaken others to their spiritual destiny, the better.

For such an awakening is the key to becoming better people, even if one does not become famous or successful or even a rich person.

Indeed, true wealth is found in being humble and not being attention to one's self.

At the root of this wealth is unconditional love.

Positive Attitude

At a time when people are so conscious of maintaining their physical health by controlling their diets, exercising and so forth, it makes sense to try to cultivate the corresponding positive mental attitudes too.

-His Holiness the Dalai Lama, 1963

The Alternative to Medication

"...Peptides provide our body's most basic communication network. To study the molecules' specific function, Pert and colleagues at NIMH began taking wafer thin slices of rat brains and, using radioactive molecules, mapping peptide receptors in the brain. Dense clusters appeared in parts of the brain long associated with emotion. According to Pert, the hippocampus, a small, almond-shaped structure that is crucial in memory, is the brain's emotional gateway. Almost every variety of peptide receptor is found there, she notes. The frontal cortex and another brain structure, the amygdala, are also densely populated with peptide receptors. Since emotions are regulated by neuropeptides, and the brain's memory centers are filled with receptors for these peptides, it's likely that emotion and memory are intertwined. However, the peptide network reaches into all the organs, glands, spinal cord, and tissues of the body." — Impertinent ideas. (alternative medicine pioneer Candace Pert); Neimark, Jill Psychology Today 11-21-1997

In short, our emotions are stored throughout the body.

For wherever neuropeptides created by our feelings go, so too goes the memory for that feeling.

Thus it is possible to access emotional memory anywhere in the network which makes up the body-mind.

This is how meditation, chiropractic therapy, therapeutic touch (Reiki) and other forms of healing — even the simple activity such as walking - work.

Often our minds do not truly need psycho-pharmaceutical drugs — at least, not for the rest of our lives.

The side effects of those drugs show us their true nature, of becoming too much of a good thing.

Thus, Professor Pert's research implies that even AIDS is a body-mind threat, and that an interdisciplinary outlook towards disease is the optimal one.

However, I would caution against the strategy implied in the movie "What the Bleep Do We Know?" when Amanda throws away her anti-anxiety medication.

Tapering off medication is essential to gaining control over the body-mind. This involves reducing medication over a period of time i.e. over a period of four months from full dose to 3/4 of the dose over the first month of weaning to 1/2 of the dose during the second month to 1/4 the dose during the third month, to 1/8th the dose during the fourth.

No one needs to go through the process alone, given the number of cognitive behavior therapy groups out there to help a person by providing emotional support.

Even so, a few people may view daily exercise, a multivitamin supplement, salmon oil capsules and wholesome food as useful on the long run for what ails them.

The challenge is in adopting such a strategy to maintain positive mental health.