Tuesday, 11 January 2011, 10:20 AM
IMHO, at the root of all my issues is the social conditioning known as never say "No" to others in need.
Yet, to avoid saying "No", often I will stay at home.
Actually, after careful reflection, the reason why I stay home as a recluse has to do with a blatantly honest picture of myself as physically imperfect.
In contrast to this self-perception, I have concluded that a pure heart-mind implies a perfect soul, the concept of which was gifted to me at age 16.
So I had worked at perfecting my mind from an early age, despite the errors which crept up into my life due to shaming.
Age 1, I was hit in the head by my brother with a hoe. My crime was not yielding his fair share of the sandbox on my family's property.
Age 2 or 3, pressured into lighting a match by my brother, I nearly burned the barn down. Both my brother and I suffered for this.
Yet I was innocent then.
Because of those errors' effect, I acted out. Perhaps it was out of a sense of shame that my youth was a descent into madness.
If I defied my mother, then she punished me. I was constantly blamed for anything wrong that happened at home.
Then there were incidents outside of the home which eventually helped me to learn that my acting out would lead to harmful repercussions.
If it weren't for learning to read and write in public school, and for computers later in life, then I might have been in a sorry state.
Today I have learned the wisdom of non-action clearly. While thoughts may come and go, this body remains, another day older and deeply indebted to the mercy that God has shown me through His creation.
Even though each person is equally capable of great good or great evil, I view my currently life as balancing out the innocent evil done as a child.
Tuesday, 11 January 2011, 10:50 AM
Dear Lord, help me to see my life with the innocent eyes of a man redeemed by God's gift of salvation. I knew that You walked by my side as a child to help me realize today that my life before majority was innocent of guile.
Sunday, 16 January 2011, 2:49 PM
Since God has been with me since the day I was born, then my soul has been with me since then.
Soul is an abstract thing which I should take care not to reify unnecessarily, lest my understanding of it be muddied, rendering a fallacy of which I'll now explain.
The fallacy is that the soul is an object which is precious due to the process of reification, which means to make it a personal object which is more valuable than my life and the world around me.
Reification is also called hypostatization.
Tuesday, 25 January 2011, 4:43 PM
Life moves in mysterious ways, for which only God knows the reasons.
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