It is the cockiness of being hypomanic I loathe the most, because usually my self esteem is moderate, but when I am full of energy but pleasantly tired due to insomnia, my sex drive goes out of control.
This lust sees me on naughty sites I never go on when well rested. However, it is doubtful that I am sexually attractive enough, because I am not independently wealthy and am uncomfortable with that kind of lifestyle because it is attendant with overconsumption.
So, I am going to go to nap for a bit and see if I am still excited...
Update: March 9, 2015 @ 0735h PDT
I napped from yesterday evening (after 4.30 PM) until 3 AM this morning. That's at least ten hours of sleep.
No dreams, but have been on the net-book since waking up. Hm... time to have breakfast and plan out my day.
My guess is, the prospect of daylight savings time springing forward an hour led to insomnia.
YMMV
Update: March 9, 2015 @ 2324h PDT
After talking with my room-mate, I realize that I was mistaken about what time I went to bed last night. Bedtime was actually 8 PM, so that means I actually got 6-7 hours of sleep.
Reviewing the past 36 hours, it will be awhile before I will lose sleep like this. It's not worth what it does to my physical, mental and spiritual health.
Although I went surfing to websites that I would never go to when well rested, it soon got so boring that I stopped before things got out of hand.
When I reflect back on the previous 24 hours, the hypomania gave me a brief sense of confidence that left me feeling like I could handle any situation in life.
Let me reassure you that hypomania is a state of mind in which I experienced a tremendous burst of energy — a second wind — during which I got a lot done.
Thankfully, most of it was off-line and church-related.
Briefly, I volunteered to accompany a fellow LDS member JD — he is experienced at this — to perform sacrament for Mr P, a LDS member who is home-bound due to an unspecified illness.
While chatting with Mr P, he related a story about his cat Charity who was so concerned about him when he was suffering in silence in his rocker that she went to his wife in the bedroom and meowed until she realized that Mr P was in need of consoling.
Mr P and I are of the same mind about pets. Cats, being domesticated, are so much a part of human society for such a long time that we humans view them as family. They become sensitive to our needs just as much as we become sensitive to theirs.
So I am grateful to have heard from Mr P about his cat Charity who truly loves her master as much as Mr P loves her.
All names of people mentioned in this blog entry have been changed to protect their privacy,
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