Currently I am reading Frank Maikawa's memoirs.
Basically the Maikawa's owned Japtown. That would actually make them the Big Boss of Japtown.
The BC government stole the Maikawa fortune, which probably was worth over $1 million ($10 million in 2014).
It was the theft by the BC government at the time that hit the Japanese community hard. Combined with the "repatriation or go East" edict by Ottawa, that destroyed Japtown.
Overall, I would estimate Japanese-Canadians lost $100 million in 2014 dollars of property and confiscated money in banks.
In short, the symbolic $21000 per surviving internment camp Japanese was cheaper than actually compensating the Japanese community.
Any apology by Ottawa, the BC government and the city of Vancouver is hollow because there actually wasn't a heartfelt effort to compensate the community. Indeed, neither the BC government or Vancouver even offered a compensation package. This is mainly because supposedly it was the federal government's responsibility.
This is a fallacy: a BC government agency stole property and money from the Japanese Canadians. This means that the BC government is responsible for creating that compensation package, even if it means a Japanese-Canadian whose deceased parents and/or grandparents were in the internment camps, then they get a BC government grant for post-secondary education. Instead, Victoria MLAs pass the buck onto to Ottawa.
Apparently the BC government and the city of Vancouver only want to attract Japanese who can afford to live in the Oppenheimer area e.g. make money from them.
Therefore any attempt to revive Japtown is for heritage purposes because that brings in tourist dollars. Furthermore, most Japanese-Canadians probably do not even know Vancouver wants to revive Japtown. That's because for them, Japtown died in 1942.
Vancouver is still shafting the Japanese-Canadians as is the BC government.
Reference:
Frank Maikawa's Evolution of a Canadian Enemy Alien: http://www.discovernikkei.org/en/journal/2013/3/6/frank-maikawa-1/
Possible proof Japtown business associations might have been like Yakuza: http://www.discovernikkei.org/en/journal/2013/04/17/frank-maikawa-7/
"When the internment time came upon us, the J-town business association organization that they belonged to (certain individuals in there) apparently made arrangements with the government, not having to go to the government’s set up internment camps but instead go to partially vacated ghost towns just beyond the 100-mile limit zone from the coast.
Thinking that the war would end quickly, father chose to go to Bridge River where we had to support ourselves without government help. Some of the organization’s leaders went to Minto, another internment camp which was just over the mountain from us. Although we were not allowed to own cars and were confiscated, once in awhile they came to Bridge River in a black limousine, five men dressed in dark suits with fedora hats to visit all households. I saw my father coming out from his room to hand them some cash. I was always snooping around and seeing gangster type movies before, to me it appeared as if they were collecting protection money like the Mafia or the equivalent Japanese Yakuza — who knows, just my thought at that time."
Respecting your elders: http://www.discovernikkei.org/en/journal/2013/03/20/frank-maikawa-3/
"Respecting Your Elders
As for showing respect to elders, it was an old Japanese traditional way of teaching for the oldest one to always be a good role model and the younger ones to follow and Mr. Hayashi was just that so had the respect. I can attest to that as I saw it all the while he was around us. Even my mother made Amy call me “ni-chan” and would correct her always if Amy called me by name (and here I knew that I wasn’t a good role model but it made me try at least, so I guess that’s the main reason behind this tradition/culture).
I’ve never seen my father address his brother as Tomekichi and always called him “ni-san” whenever he visited us from Japan. Tokio-san and Sadao-san (another Maikawa from the fish store side) were father’s nephews but they were more like Dad’s little brothers and had special close relations and ties together and they called Dad, Bun-chan. Dad called them Tokio and Sadao as he was older.
Everybody worked in harmony with each other like brothers (even if they were non-blood related) and I didn’t notice any friction at all. Everybody close called my father “Bun-chan”. Anybody listening would notice that they were close without being told. There’s more to it with this old Japanese traditional value system that meets the present day eyes of our children who might think what I’m saying doesn’t make sense in this present age."
Any Japanese in the diasphora who disagrees with this kind of thinking isn't really Japanese anymore.
Showing posts with label Japanese-Canadian. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Japanese-Canadian. Show all posts
20131215
Japantown in Vancouver (satire)
While both the government of BC (2012) and of Canada (1989) has given the Japanese an apology, the city of Vancouver had never apologized or returned any of the property stolen in 1941 until this year. Indeed, the apology back in September sounded hollow, as did the BC apology last year.
Federally, $21,000 merely bought votes for the Progressive Conservative Party. Most survivors of Japanese internment camps thought it was a tax rebate.
Though there is news that Japantown will be rebuilt. However, any Japanese-Canadian thinking they'd get it for free is sorely mistaken, even though the city of Vancouver owes us Canadian-born Japanese big time.
I'd only live in Japantown IF it was subsidized housing and the city of Vancouver subsidized a rehab centre for the drug addicts who want to recover, regardless of who you are.
When that new Downtown Eastside housing development gets final hearing, I hope that the new tenants actually care for the people living in the area, apart from their fellow condo owners and shop keepers.
Maybe one of the new tenants of the development might even volunteer for the Lookout Society who manage the homeless shelters near Oppenheimer Park. Hopefully, none of this NIMBY nonsense will go on at this development, but I'll wait and see.
For the homeless and drug addicts of the Downtown Eastside are truly representative of the 99 percent, too.
References:
Japantown, Vancouver: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japantown,_Vancouver
Plans for New Downtown Eastside Housing Debated: http://www.vancourier.com/news/plans-for-new-downtown-eastside-housing-debated-1.710755#
Vancouver apologizes for Japanese internment: http://www.vancouversun.com/news/Vancouver+council+apologizes+Japanese+Canadians+1942+support+internment/8958222/story.html
BC government apologizes to Japanese Canadians: http://www.straight.com/news/bc-government-apologizes-internment-japanese-canadians
20100527
Peace: Make War No More
Though I respect the work of military families' contribution to keeping the world free of tyrants and dictators, prior to 1936, most Western nations were gaga for Hitler and prior to November 1918, the free world was so impressed by Japan's efforts towards world peace that we let the; join the League of Nations after Armistice Day.
Since the last World War (2), I've had relatives in Canada whose lands were stolen - and sold to pay for their incarceration - a small courtsey afforded bythe government, due to the ill-advised War Measures Act in force from 1941-1946, only to have one of my parent's family forcibly 'repatriated' to a foreign country as of June 1945.
Although militarists led us to WW II, and the waste of lives that resulted - so that peace continues to thrive in these most sensitive times - do not just think about the bottom line, and what's in it for us.
Instead, think not only of our children, but of our children's children to the seventh generation on sensitive matters such as women in the military, "War on Terrorism", and other threats to peace in the world.
IMHO the military is in dire need of reform, and that reformation cannot be done by the military alone.
For "War on Terrorism" needs an honest appraisal, free of military filtering.
Reports of another Canadian soldier killed in Afghanistan sounds to me like the news media is desperate for viewership, while subtly making it clear that war is hell.
Let's not be the problem but the solution, and make war no more.
Since the last World War (2), I've had relatives in Canada whose lands were stolen - and sold to pay for their incarceration - a small courtsey afforded bythe government, due to the ill-advised War Measures Act in force from 1941-1946, only to have one of my parent's family forcibly 'repatriated' to a foreign country as of June 1945.
Although militarists led us to WW II, and the waste of lives that resulted - so that peace continues to thrive in these most sensitive times - do not just think about the bottom line, and what's in it for us.
Instead, think not only of our children, but of our children's children to the seventh generation on sensitive matters such as women in the military, "War on Terrorism", and other threats to peace in the world.
IMHO the military is in dire need of reform, and that reformation cannot be done by the military alone.
For "War on Terrorism" needs an honest appraisal, free of military filtering.
Reports of another Canadian soldier killed in Afghanistan sounds to me like the news media is desperate for viewership, while subtly making it clear that war is hell.
Let's not be the problem but the solution, and make war no more.
My Grandfather
Unfortunately, they discovered that along with potential wealth came much discrimination towards Japanese immigrants. They were not allowed to serve the country they were loyal to in the Second World War, and were displaced to internment camps when Japan bombed Pearl Harbor.
Yet the family bribed the BC government to live in Lilooet, and after the war, settled in Vernon, BC, watched over by a WW1 vet.
20090526
Religious Division Amongst Japanese-Canadians During the Internment Period 1942-1946
In Canada and in America, it is likely the Jodo Shinshu Buddhists
were targeted by the assimilated Japanese who were Christians, since
the word at the time said that the latter tried to claim that, since the Buddhists had ties to the Hompa back in Kyoto, Japanese Buddhists in the Americas were "the real enemies".
According to the history of Japanese-Canadian internment, there were separate prison camps for Christians and Buddhist.
Also for Buddhists without any Buddhist temple or means of establishing one, they either
converted, or privately practiced the rituals associated with their sect i.e. Pure Land, the Shingon, the Nichiren, and Zen.
were targeted by the assimilated Japanese who were Christians, since
the word at the time said that the latter tried to claim that, since the Buddhists had ties to the Hompa back in Kyoto, Japanese Buddhists in the Americas were "the real enemies".
According to the history of Japanese-Canadian internment, there were separate prison camps for Christians and Buddhist.
Also for Buddhists without any Buddhist temple or means of establishing one, they either
converted, or privately practiced the rituals associated with their sect i.e. Pure Land, the Shingon, the Nichiren, and Zen.
20080330
The Japanese-Canadian Experience: March 24-April 20, 1942
Almost 71 years ago, from March 24 to April 20, 1942, a group of conscientious objectors and Japanese nationals were incarcerated in the Vancouver Immigration Building.
These men were unofficially arrested and detained at the building for almost four weeks, at which point they rioted and were declared "enemy aliens" and sent to Petawawa and Angler, Ontario, to live in the only prison camps in Canada.
In contrast, the "prison camps" of the Interior of BC were closer to the truth of being "internment camps". Though the American Japanese and even their Latin American contingent at Crystal City, Texas, were not forced to pay rent to live in American internment camps.
Yet revisionists within the Japanese-Canadian community have excised any reference to the 28 days these Japanese were in the Immigration Building. There is only a prison camp memoir and a fictionalized account of one person's time in the camp, but reference to these 28 days are missing from most Japanese-Canadian websites on the matter.
IMHO the reason for this "revisionism" is to honor the tradition of covering up a smell so it doesn't stink.
Well, I am uncovering the smell because this revisionism needs to be opened up to the world.
The Japanese-Canadian war experience taught the Canadian government that its War Measures Act was an anarchronism which it got rid of after the apology in 1988.
However, the following questions remain: Why has the BC government not apologized for the acts of racist BC MLAs during the war era? What really motivated the Christian Japanese Canadians to falsely claim the Japanese Buddhist community were potential enemy aliens? Was it done to make themselves feel patriotic or was the real reason to scapegoat the Shin Buddhists needlessly?
Historically, in Japan during the war era, pacifists among the Buddhists were spied on and arrested for "not supporting the war effort." In the end, the leader of Soka Gakkai, a grassroots peace movement based on Nichiren Buddhism and the ideas of its founder, Tsunesaburo Makiguchi, were pro-peace and suffered for it in Japan. Tens of thousands of Japanese Buddhists were imprisoned for supporting peace.
In light of this, the false charges of the Christian Japanese-Canadians against the Buddhists show that the war had actually fractured the Japanese-Canadian community among religious lines.
Reference:
Tsunesaburo Makiguchi: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tsunesaburo_Makiguchi
Japanese Canadian Internment: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese-Canadian_internment
These men were unofficially arrested and detained at the building for almost four weeks, at which point they rioted and were declared "enemy aliens" and sent to Petawawa and Angler, Ontario, to live in the only prison camps in Canada.
In contrast, the "prison camps" of the Interior of BC were closer to the truth of being "internment camps". Though the American Japanese and even their Latin American contingent at Crystal City, Texas, were not forced to pay rent to live in American internment camps.
Yet revisionists within the Japanese-Canadian community have excised any reference to the 28 days these Japanese were in the Immigration Building. There is only a prison camp memoir and a fictionalized account of one person's time in the camp, but reference to these 28 days are missing from most Japanese-Canadian websites on the matter.
IMHO the reason for this "revisionism" is to honor the tradition of covering up a smell so it doesn't stink.
Well, I am uncovering the smell because this revisionism needs to be opened up to the world.
The Japanese-Canadian war experience taught the Canadian government that its War Measures Act was an anarchronism which it got rid of after the apology in 1988.
However, the following questions remain: Why has the BC government not apologized for the acts of racist BC MLAs during the war era? What really motivated the Christian Japanese Canadians to falsely claim the Japanese Buddhist community were potential enemy aliens? Was it done to make themselves feel patriotic or was the real reason to scapegoat the Shin Buddhists needlessly?
Historically, in Japan during the war era, pacifists among the Buddhists were spied on and arrested for "not supporting the war effort." In the end, the leader of Soka Gakkai, a grassroots peace movement based on Nichiren Buddhism and the ideas of its founder, Tsunesaburo Makiguchi, were pro-peace and suffered for it in Japan. Tens of thousands of Japanese Buddhists were imprisoned for supporting peace.
In light of this, the false charges of the Christian Japanese-Canadians against the Buddhists show that the war had actually fractured the Japanese-Canadian community among religious lines.
Reference:
Tsunesaburo Makiguchi: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tsunesaburo_Makiguchi
Japanese Canadian Internment: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese-Canadian_internment
20070617
Japanese-Canadian Activism Began In 1942
June 2007 marks the 65th year since about 100 Japanese-Canadians after being imprisoned at the old Vancovuer Immigration building for about 3 weeks rioted and were sent to two POW camps in Ontario.
The Nisei Mass Evacuation Group gave themselves up en masse. They were detained in the Immigration Building at Vancouver Harbour from April 25, 1942 to May 20, 1942.
When they finally rioted to protest being forcibly removed from their homes and family, the Canadian government moved them to Petawawa and later Angler in Ontario.
After proving not to be a threat to security, the Canadian government let a few of these brave men return to society in Ontario or to be re-united with their families back in prison camps in the BC Interior.
Yet records of those three weeks are hard to find.
June1942 is when social activism for Japanese-Canadians was born.
The Nisei Mass Evacuation Group gave themselves up en masse. They were detained in the Immigration Building at Vancouver Harbour from April 25, 1942 to May 20, 1942.
When they finally rioted to protest being forcibly removed from their homes and family, the Canadian government moved them to Petawawa and later Angler in Ontario.
After proving not to be a threat to security, the Canadian government let a few of these brave men return to society in Ontario or to be re-united with their families back in prison camps in the BC Interior.
Yet records of those three weeks are hard to find.
June1942 is when social activism for Japanese-Canadians was born.
20070402
Evolution of Racism in Canada After 1946
Much of the racism in the post-war period consisted of the use of verbal displays of animosity not backed up by government policy.
What helped aid in preventing government policy from affecting all ethnic communities began with the citizenship given to Japanese and other nationalities living in Canada from 1947 onwards. It helped that Diefenbaker, of Saskatchewan, was elected to power in the 1950s. He helped mold the Canadian psyche to accept the ideal of pluralism, where each citizen did not see himself as a hyphenated Canadian. Later, in the 1970s, Trudeau pushed the ideal of multiculturalism where ethnic communities could celebrate their heritage.
During the next 50 years, bias and prejudice evolved from attacks on the Japanese as a racial group to personal attacks on individuals within the Japanese community who did not conform to social pressures to "blend in." Any racial incident between a Japanese person and another person was seen as reflecting badly on the Japanese people as a whole.
As a result, the motivating forces of shame and guilt about Japan losing the war led the Japanese of the post-war era to assimilate into Western society, with a few of them remaining in the Interior of Canada, and the majority migrating eastward to urban centers east of the Rockies. However, a minority of Japanese-Canadians took the option to return to Japan after the war.
When Japanese who assimilated into mainstream society in Toronto moved back to B.C. to retire, they discovered cultural differences between themselves (who were higher educated and spoke mainly English) and the Japanese who never left B.C. (most of whom graduated high school but had varying command of both English and Japanese). In response, a few Japanese from Toronto who retired in B.C. soon realized a sense of loss due to the after-effect of internment. This has led to identification with victims of the Japanese militarists' regime between 1936 and 1945 in Asia, including victims of bio-chemical warfare in North Korea, Asian "comfort" women, and prisoners-of-war both Asian and non-Asian in prison camps throughout S.E. Asia.
In 1988 Japanese redress issues were resolved by the Canadian government through token payment to all Japanese born before 1946 and the establishment of the Canadian Race Relations Foundation. Since that time, anti-racism education has enlightened most of eastern Canada and urban centres in Western Canada.
By 2001, racism was seen as a person's cultural biases and prejudices rooted in fear of other cultures. In some ways, racism is a fear-based tool used by a person or group of people rooted in the psychological dynamics of the inferiority-superiority complex. The subconscious fear of racial inferiority results in an imagined racial superiority of one's own culture, while the fear of inferiority is projected as inferiority of the other culture. Rather than inquiring about them, the racist projects her fear about the other culture in a socially inappropriate manner.
Thus, the key to overcoming racism is through education.
What helped aid in preventing government policy from affecting all ethnic communities began with the citizenship given to Japanese and other nationalities living in Canada from 1947 onwards. It helped that Diefenbaker, of Saskatchewan, was elected to power in the 1950s. He helped mold the Canadian psyche to accept the ideal of pluralism, where each citizen did not see himself as a hyphenated Canadian. Later, in the 1970s, Trudeau pushed the ideal of multiculturalism where ethnic communities could celebrate their heritage.
During the next 50 years, bias and prejudice evolved from attacks on the Japanese as a racial group to personal attacks on individuals within the Japanese community who did not conform to social pressures to "blend in." Any racial incident between a Japanese person and another person was seen as reflecting badly on the Japanese people as a whole.
As a result, the motivating forces of shame and guilt about Japan losing the war led the Japanese of the post-war era to assimilate into Western society, with a few of them remaining in the Interior of Canada, and the majority migrating eastward to urban centers east of the Rockies. However, a minority of Japanese-Canadians took the option to return to Japan after the war.
When Japanese who assimilated into mainstream society in Toronto moved back to B.C. to retire, they discovered cultural differences between themselves (who were higher educated and spoke mainly English) and the Japanese who never left B.C. (most of whom graduated high school but had varying command of both English and Japanese). In response, a few Japanese from Toronto who retired in B.C. soon realized a sense of loss due to the after-effect of internment. This has led to identification with victims of the Japanese militarists' regime between 1936 and 1945 in Asia, including victims of bio-chemical warfare in North Korea, Asian "comfort" women, and prisoners-of-war both Asian and non-Asian in prison camps throughout S.E. Asia.
In 1988 Japanese redress issues were resolved by the Canadian government through token payment to all Japanese born before 1946 and the establishment of the Canadian Race Relations Foundation. Since that time, anti-racism education has enlightened most of eastern Canada and urban centres in Western Canada.
By 2001, racism was seen as a person's cultural biases and prejudices rooted in fear of other cultures. In some ways, racism is a fear-based tool used by a person or group of people rooted in the psychological dynamics of the inferiority-superiority complex. The subconscious fear of racial inferiority results in an imagined racial superiority of one's own culture, while the fear of inferiority is projected as inferiority of the other culture. Rather than inquiring about them, the racist projects her fear about the other culture in a socially inappropriate manner.
Thus, the key to overcoming racism is through education.
20070310
Inspiration of my Political Activism
Japanese-Canadian men were detained in the Immigration Building at Vancouver Harbour from April 25, 1942 to May 20, 1942.
Near the end of their detainment there, they rioted.
As a result they were sent to Petawawa and later Angler.
Soon the camp became divided between young men who missed their families and hardliners who wanted to return to Japan.
It is this injustice that drives my political activism. Yet, in BC political protest is illegal unless you notify the authorities in advance.
Near the end of their detainment there, they rioted.
As a result they were sent to Petawawa and later Angler.
Soon the camp became divided between young men who missed their families and hardliners who wanted to return to Japan.
It is this injustice that drives my political activism. Yet, in BC political protest is illegal unless you notify the authorities in advance.
20050702
Japanese-American and Japanese-Canadian Internment
In order to save money, Mackenzie King's administration in Ottawa got the Japanese to pay for their new homes.
Japanese-Canadians paid for their cabins in the camps in BC. I would like to emphasize this point because it differs from the Japanese American experience where the American government paid for their internment.
"The Japanese had to pay for their stay at these horrid camps. While under the Geneva Convention prisoners of war (POW) didn't have to pay for their camps. In comparison to what the American Government paid for their internment camps, Canada paid a quarter of what than the USA did." — http://www.yesnet.yk.ca/schools/projects/canadianhistory/camps/internment1.html
On my mother's side of the family, most of the family was interned in New Denver, except for her married eldest sister and brother.
My father's family was originally interned in Lillooet, BC. After the war, they sold their cabin, which they paid for, and moved to Vernon. No one would sell them land except for a World War 1 veteran on the BX road leading to Silver Star.
As for myself, I try to look at the past objectively.
Considering the freedoms we've won over the past 60 years, the Japanese-Canadians should never forget the injustice of internment.
Japanese-Canadians paid for their cabins in the camps in BC. I would like to emphasize this point because it differs from the Japanese American experience where the American government paid for their internment.
"The Japanese had to pay for their stay at these horrid camps. While under the Geneva Convention prisoners of war (POW) didn't have to pay for their camps. In comparison to what the American Government paid for their internment camps, Canada paid a quarter of what than the USA did." — http://www.yesnet.yk.ca/schools/projects/canadianhistory/camps/internment1.html
On my mother's side of the family, most of the family was interned in New Denver, except for her married eldest sister and brother.
My father's family was originally interned in Lillooet, BC. After the war, they sold their cabin, which they paid for, and moved to Vernon. No one would sell them land except for a World War 1 veteran on the BX road leading to Silver Star.
As for myself, I try to look at the past objectively.
Considering the freedoms we've won over the past 60 years, the Japanese-Canadians should never forget the injustice of internment.
20040413
My family circa the mid-1960's until the present
Public Education's Influence on Shaping Lives
In Grade 1 my sister was friendly and outgoing. In Grade 2, she was subject to punishment by the teacher, who was of the old school, "shame them, guilt them, punish them" for bad behavior.
Two years before, I was called to task along with my male classmate by the Grade 2 teacher over sliding down the slope leading to the fence between school property and the home next door. She brought to our attention the difference in the way boys played and girls played. We were made to feel ashamed for being adventurous boys.
I remember being asked to visit my sister in her Grade 2 class because she was humiliated for having to do studies as punishment. My sister was embarrassed, upset and ashamed, to have me see her like that. After that incident, my mom scolded her for her misbehavior in school, and put her down for failing to live up to her role as "a good girl".
Today I can see that the 1960's was not an enlightened time for boys and girls growing up.
Family Pride == Mother's Way of Keeping Sister Out of Harm's Way
One of my sister's friends was a young girl who was born without a thumb. She was also the daughter of a upper middle class Finnish family, one of the pioneer families of the small town we lived in between 1959 and 1980.
I feel that my sister tried to make friends with her, but there may have been some racism at work here, of which I was oblivious. My sister tried to fit in but there might have been something at work here that led to conduct and behavior problems that our mother objected to, i.e. coming home late from her friends, talking back to her etc.
Concerned for her, my mom used to make my younger sister play the piano. She even bought a piano for her to practice on with the music teacher. My sister soon grew to hate piano lessons, and could only play according to what she was taught, not even improvise.
When she wasn't at it, I'd tap the keys and listen to the sounds that came out of that piano. My sister even said I should try it. I just stuck to playing it by ear when she wasn't practicing, and teasing her when she was trying to practice.
I recall one day my mother, my sister and I even went to a competition. My sister was shy, and not very confident. But my mom made her go up there and play.
Eventually my sister refused to play piano anymore. I feel that part of the reason is that my mother is blunt and not tactful. Out of family pride, she wanted her to succeed, but pushed my sister too hard.
Yet when my sister got married, she encouraged all her four daughters to succeed in ballet and creative dance. She figured it would keep them occupied and off the streets.
As for myself, my ear for music was first honed playing the recorder, a woodwind instrument, in Grade 1. At home, I used to play that a lot between Grade 3 and 6, and off and on during high school. It led to a serious test in grade 7 by the music teacher, and I ended up playing clarinet, but I was never good at it. In grade 12, I abandoned book keeping class in favor of guitar class. For about 8 years afterward, I played guitar by myself, and even composed a few songs.
Amae
I admit that I was spoiled by my mom, and that my elder brother and younger sister were made to do things they didn't feel they wanted to do. However, my mom care about all of us, including my dad. As a child I was made to feel as if I couldn't do a good job washing dishes. Today as an adult, the few times that I do my dishes after a meal at the family home, as my mom asks, I wash them clean.
Our mother also tries to help any of us out when we ask, as much as she is able to.
What I have just briefly described is interdependence within a Westernized Japanese household. It has been described as when each family member is dependent on each other to maintain family harmony. This dependency is known by the Japanese term, amae.
Over the years, I have discovered that family harmony depends on the willingness to be dependent on each other. It requires the willingness to condone past differences, and to control one's ego so as not to ruin "wa", the harmony of the moment.
Parent Habits
The habits I've observed in my mother is starting her stories in the middle and getting to the point, with occasional off hand remarks about other topics, i.e. a newspaper article to show me, etc. She is also beginning to excuse her idiosyncrasies as an excuse to do it more, from time to time.
In my father I had noticed habit of putting down her folks — this seemed to be a shared pastime for them. He also imagined that I am living an extremely bad life. However, he passed away in 2007, and no longer has to worry about me.
Up until his death, they both believed that without their strict control of me, eventually I'd end up the worse for it. This is untrue, for my life has improved over the past fifth years since I moved out on my own.
Current Situation
Today I live with roommates, a couple I care about dearly, both of whom have been my friends for six years.
Since the summer of 2012 I have dedicated my time to providing emotional support. The reason for doing so is to help the female half of the couple adjust to unemployment, which has been rocky.
As for the relationship with my mother, it has improved tremendously over the past two years. Although I admit that in the past my ego used to lead to conflict with her, I had decided to let her and everyone else off the hook.
I find that it is important to keep focused on the present moment. and to maintain a caring and loving attitude. In this way, we work together to maintain family harmony.
amae: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Anatomy_of_Dependence
wa: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wa_%28Japanese_culture%29
In Grade 1 my sister was friendly and outgoing. In Grade 2, she was subject to punishment by the teacher, who was of the old school, "shame them, guilt them, punish them" for bad behavior.
Two years before, I was called to task along with my male classmate by the Grade 2 teacher over sliding down the slope leading to the fence between school property and the home next door. She brought to our attention the difference in the way boys played and girls played. We were made to feel ashamed for being adventurous boys.
I remember being asked to visit my sister in her Grade 2 class because she was humiliated for having to do studies as punishment. My sister was embarrassed, upset and ashamed, to have me see her like that. After that incident, my mom scolded her for her misbehavior in school, and put her down for failing to live up to her role as "a good girl".
Today I can see that the 1960's was not an enlightened time for boys and girls growing up.
Family Pride == Mother's Way of Keeping Sister Out of Harm's Way
One of my sister's friends was a young girl who was born without a thumb. She was also the daughter of a upper middle class Finnish family, one of the pioneer families of the small town we lived in between 1959 and 1980.
I feel that my sister tried to make friends with her, but there may have been some racism at work here, of which I was oblivious. My sister tried to fit in but there might have been something at work here that led to conduct and behavior problems that our mother objected to, i.e. coming home late from her friends, talking back to her etc.
Concerned for her, my mom used to make my younger sister play the piano. She even bought a piano for her to practice on with the music teacher. My sister soon grew to hate piano lessons, and could only play according to what she was taught, not even improvise.
When she wasn't at it, I'd tap the keys and listen to the sounds that came out of that piano. My sister even said I should try it. I just stuck to playing it by ear when she wasn't practicing, and teasing her when she was trying to practice.
I recall one day my mother, my sister and I even went to a competition. My sister was shy, and not very confident. But my mom made her go up there and play.
Eventually my sister refused to play piano anymore. I feel that part of the reason is that my mother is blunt and not tactful. Out of family pride, she wanted her to succeed, but pushed my sister too hard.
Yet when my sister got married, she encouraged all her four daughters to succeed in ballet and creative dance. She figured it would keep them occupied and off the streets.
As for myself, my ear for music was first honed playing the recorder, a woodwind instrument, in Grade 1. At home, I used to play that a lot between Grade 3 and 6, and off and on during high school. It led to a serious test in grade 7 by the music teacher, and I ended up playing clarinet, but I was never good at it. In grade 12, I abandoned book keeping class in favor of guitar class. For about 8 years afterward, I played guitar by myself, and even composed a few songs.
Amae
I admit that I was spoiled by my mom, and that my elder brother and younger sister were made to do things they didn't feel they wanted to do. However, my mom care about all of us, including my dad. As a child I was made to feel as if I couldn't do a good job washing dishes. Today as an adult, the few times that I do my dishes after a meal at the family home, as my mom asks, I wash them clean.
Our mother also tries to help any of us out when we ask, as much as she is able to.
What I have just briefly described is interdependence within a Westernized Japanese household. It has been described as when each family member is dependent on each other to maintain family harmony. This dependency is known by the Japanese term, amae.
Over the years, I have discovered that family harmony depends on the willingness to be dependent on each other. It requires the willingness to condone past differences, and to control one's ego so as not to ruin "wa", the harmony of the moment.
Parent Habits
The habits I've observed in my mother is starting her stories in the middle and getting to the point, with occasional off hand remarks about other topics, i.e. a newspaper article to show me, etc. She is also beginning to excuse her idiosyncrasies as an excuse to do it more, from time to time.
In my father I had noticed habit of putting down her folks — this seemed to be a shared pastime for them. He also imagined that I am living an extremely bad life. However, he passed away in 2007, and no longer has to worry about me.
Up until his death, they both believed that without their strict control of me, eventually I'd end up the worse for it. This is untrue, for my life has improved over the past fifth years since I moved out on my own.
Current Situation
Today I live with roommates, a couple I care about dearly, both of whom have been my friends for six years.
Since the summer of 2012 I have dedicated my time to providing emotional support. The reason for doing so is to help the female half of the couple adjust to unemployment, which has been rocky.
As for the relationship with my mother, it has improved tremendously over the past two years. Although I admit that in the past my ego used to lead to conflict with her, I had decided to let her and everyone else off the hook.
I find that it is important to keep focused on the present moment. and to maintain a caring and loving attitude. In this way, we work together to maintain family harmony.
amae: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Anatomy_of_Dependence
wa: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wa_%28Japanese_culture%29
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