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Lack of Game Makes Me Blue

I feel that much of my behavior is related to major depressive disorder.

The consistent symptoms are weight gain, insomnia, and long periods of sleep.

Associated with it, but not a definite causal factor, is lack of a life partner.

At times I also tend to express my inner voice in a manner which leads to alienation by peers.

Yet none of my behavior symptoms indicate any obvious signs of delusion, dementia, mania or psychosis.

Most importantly I have no violent ideation (including rages).

However, the lack of a life partner shows a potential alienation of romantic feelings.

From what little I've been able to get out of women who've rejected me, I am "not their type", which means they wouldn't make love with me, even if I was the last man on Earth.

A probable cause of this alienation of affection is strongly related to persistence on my part, combined with lack of an established outer voice which is amenable to the mutual romantic interests of both the woman and myself.

In short, while I do walk the walk, I don't talk the talk in a manner which satisfies the woman's criteria of "her type."

However, deep down I know that anxiety and fear tends to serve as the unconscious motivation for the mate selection process amongst heterosexual females.

It's quite obvious that some women are anxious around me due to miscommunication, but an underlying fear of intimacy is raised because I am "not their type."

Sometimes I feel that most women have already made up their mind that they are not going to fuck me within 5 seconds of meeting me. :o

So obviously the solution is to meet more women, and learn and observe the cues which show that I am making the right, or wrong, impression on "that girl."

OK, maybe I am thinking too much about women and how to impress them.

While I cannot blame them for any health risks arising on my part from not being with a woman, or any deliberate attempt to put me at risk on their part, from an objective view, rejection is causing a depressive reaction.

My novel way of dealing with rejection and its reaction, depression, is to masturbate often. It appears to work better than anti-depressants, and reduces my anxiety better than benzodiazepines.

Still, it'd be nice to share an orgasm. :D

Thus I need game, not right away but sometime soon.

***And no, I am not whining or crying about lack of game. However, the dates with Mary Hand are getting monotonous.

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