20131204

Confronting Narcissism: The Truth Will Set You Free (satire)

For the sake of this article, there are two types of personalities, the narcissistic and the neurotic.

While this is a simplistic notion of human personality, it suffices. Why? Because an in depth discussion of narcissism and neurosis is outside the aim of this article.

Besides, readers of the social media Twitter tend to have short attention spans.

Also note that anything in bold is the truth that will set you free.

YMMV

Anyway, I'd like to think of narcissism and neurosis as two extremes of what is called human personality.

Neurosis is completely normal, even when a person is limited by anxiety and even worse, phobias. For such limitations are easily overcome simply by practice.

Of course, it is easy for me to say this because I've overcome both anxiety and phobias, mainly by applying Frank Herbert's Litany of Fear to help conquer both the anger that is the root of anxiety and the fear that is the root of phobias.

In contrast, narcissism is abnormal. Narcissistic people are manipulative people. who maintain the egocentricity of youth but have morphed it into narcissism.

However, the egocentric personality believes that the whole world revolves around him, while the narcissist often has a strong sense of entitlement, self-esteem, and the insatiable desire to live his life out by manipulating other people.

Often the narcissistic person believes he is superior to other people, but is willing to manipulate anyone into believing in his superiority.

It's most likely that egocentricity is a component of depression, since the depressed personality tends to view the world through the distorted lens of his illness.

Often narcissism manipulates neurosis in a person who chooses to love a narcissist.

Love will not change a narcissist into a decent human being who empathizes with you and loves you as much as you love him.

Stop lying to yourself because it does not work that way. That is magical thinking, as is love that is blind to the faults of the narcissist.

Early on in any relationship, be it friends or lovers, it is up to you to present the truth about his behaviour as you see it and establish strong boundaries with him.

If he harms you in retaliation (by ignoring it or insulting you) then present the truth again in an even voice and maintain the same strong boundaries.

If this leads to sexual assault, then he broke through those boundaries because he has no respect for you and for your boundaries. Report it to the authorities and break all contact with him. This involves blocking all calls and messages from him. It may even involve learning a martial art, and expecting the unexpected.

If, on the other hand, your neuroses limits to your options to reliance on a friend or mate for emotional support and/or protection, then choose your friends wisely. Do not make the mistake of calling your new boyfriend a policeman, since it could worsen the situation.

Be aware that he will use every trick in the book to manipulate you into forming a bond with him.

Ask for advice from people who know him well, including family and friends. Even his former lovers have good advice.

If you have fallen into the habit of being jealous of rivals, then he will use this against you to "prove" that you love him more than they ever did.

Confronting the narcissistic takes courage but anyone who lets love guide her heart in such matter had better be mentally and physically prepared for the consequences.

Otherwise, you are going to be manipulated into serving him forever.

Whatever I just wrote about heterosexual relationships also applies to homosexual relationships. Manipulative people come in many flavors of gender.


Regarding my advice about not making the mistake of calling your new boyfriend a policeman, the Raoul Moat case in England was an example of a narcissist whose rage against his former partner Samantha Stoddart was fueled by the fact that she'd fibbed to him by calling her new boyfriend a policeman when he was actually a martial arts expert. The real tragedy is that her new boyfriend is dead.

This brings me to relationships with a narcissist. Should a narcissist and a neurotic ever hook up, they may eventually desire to have children.

If the narcissist believes his neurotic wife to be paying too much attention to the child, then he may become jealous of that child.

Eventually it may lead to child abuse, and he will have exercised enough control of his wife to manipulate her into avoiding any confrontation him because she fears the emotional and physical abuse that he uses on her "to keep her in line."

Instead, the neurotic will undergo a lot of stress, which will present itself in overwork, obesity, alcoholism and even prescription drug abuse.

Along the way, she may develop ulcers and eventually cancer. However, the first symptoms will be anxiety and panic attacks, along with phobias. There also will be Stockholm Syndrome, in which she protects her husband in spite of the abuse when offered help.

As well, the narcissistic husband will gaslight the neurotic wife which may lead to involuntary admission to psychiatric wards, where neurotic hospital staff will be manipulated by the husband into believing that her statements of abuse by him are due to medication.

This is why both hospital staff and associated social workers should be trained in detecting narcissists.

IMO I believe some children of narcissists do establish boundaries with their caregivers early and get mistreated as their relationship evolves into becoming the black sheep of the family.

In contrast, narcissistic caregivers who nurture their child to point of narcissism goes beyond normal childcare. Since the children are mere extensions of the caregiver, the behaviour of her child will be controlled to reflect positively on her.

A narcissist will believe that the reason why her child cries is to distract attention from her. She also learns that feeding the child keeps it quiet. If a narcissist is an addict, she may even give her drug of choice to her child to keep it quiet, be it food, alcohol or recreational drugs.

Indeed, a lot of narcissists are social drinkers. Some of them are even recreational drug users, and a few narcissists are both.

In a cruel world, a narcissistic caregiver could be likened the mother of all evil.

I also believe that ego addiction is the root of egocentrism but ego addiction in manipulative people can be overcome after the narcissistic personality is controlled. This can only happen if the person seeks help.

However, I do not believe meditation is a cure-all for narcissism and manipulative people, but rather a preventative since it will lead them to flee when offered to them. Again, meditation will only work if a person humbly seeks it.

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