It's ironic that President Obama used the term "domestic terrorist" to describe the murder-suicide serial killer that killed women his age because he was a virgin. Yet he has never called a single pedophile a "terrorist" but may have used other code words like "monster".
IDK if a pedophile terrorizes children for years, that's a form of terrorism that is worse than what the deceased Rodger did to seven female victims. The harm is partially perpetrated by society when justice takes its time to gather evidence rather than acting to prevent it.
I know of children so scarred for life that they need strong medication to remain sedated and relatively harmless to self and others.
However, pedophilia is not always restricted to religionists but also occurs when a person with power and control over children puts his need to control others supposedly in his protection at risk. Thus, child soldiers may be considered possible victims of pedophiles. The child wives in primitive communities might also be victims.
Thankfully not everyone is on a power trip and clear heads do detect and give evidence against pedophiles.
Nobody has the right to abuse in any shape or form children. This includes cybersex. It is not loving to expose children to adult-orient chatter.
Be wary.
Report inappropriate content online but ask for GooglePlus to monitor them before shutting them down to complete a list of associates who prey on children.
As well, enable logs on Hangouts and archive evidence for GooglePlus when a pedophile appears. The evidence will support your case not the perpetrator.
Even pedophilia must be considered a terrorist act too, if the Rodgers serial killings are considered by the President of the US to be a form of domestic terrorism.
If spying on private citizens is a form of State terrorism, then abusing children is an act of terrorism against the safety and security of children.
Apart from that, I urge caution since one person's obscenity is another person's erotica. Applying an arbitrary rule that criminalizes erotica puts consumers of erotica in conflict with on-line anti-obscenity "mobs" and does violate freedom of speech.
This is why the NSFW adult communities have it right when they maintain an invitation only policy towards prospective members and a zero-tolerance towards images depicting children. It cannot be assumed that everyone is 18 and over. Instead, everything should be monitored and reported.
Let us rid the Internet of the domestic terrorists who terrorize children, be they pedophiles, child abusers and their ilk, through legal means, even if it leads to more close monitoring by authorities including the CIA, the FBI, the NSA and your local police.
Only through secure monitoring are we truly free.
Reference:
2014 Isla Vista Killings: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2014_Isla_Vista_killings
Showing posts with label child abuse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label child abuse. Show all posts
20140526
20140128
Alice Miller and Transcending Sexism
"That woman, as nature has created her, and man at present is educating her, is man's enemy. She can only be his slave or his despot, but never his companion. This she can become only when she has the same rights as he and is his equal in education and work." — Severin, a character in Venus in Furs by Sacher-Masoch
By writing thusly Sacher-Masoch represented 19th-century mores and the enlightenment prior to suffrage of women circa the 1890s and throughout the first 72 years of the 20th century.
Even today, women are still not treated with equality through education and work in certain parts of Eastern Europe including the Balkans, as well as as Turkey, the Middle East and most of Asia.
Until that happens by allowing girls the choice to choose non-traditional paths of freedom before the age of majority, any inequality is due to a rigid dualism of male-female with men in the dominant role which is artificially constructed as a result of the patriarchalism that underlies each society which practises such traditions.
The solution is not matriarchalism, which itself is a rigid dualism of male-female with women in the dominant role.
Rather, both the sexes must endeavour to transcend the artificial construct of the male-female dichotomy and especially transcend the dominant-submissive dichotomy and truly become democratic and egalitarian without preference for the limited dichotomy be it of the sexes or of control. Although sexism is inherent in any system which supports either patriarchal or matriarchal power structures, it loses its power in a gender neutral power structure where power is shared by capable men and women
Thus there is a way out.
It starts with Alice Miller and goes beyond the December 6 Massacre to the sole purpose to emancipate men and women alike from the perils of child abuse, the root of human violence learned in family. The solution is not to break up families but to provide counselling to let survivors tell their stories without censure.
By sharing it is possible to help heal psychic wounds, thus beginning the road to recovery to help renew a sense of hope.
For gylanic egalitarianism is the way out of sexism.
Originally posted: December 23, 2010 4:27 AM
By writing thusly Sacher-Masoch represented 19th-century mores and the enlightenment prior to suffrage of women circa the 1890s and throughout the first 72 years of the 20th century.
Even today, women are still not treated with equality through education and work in certain parts of Eastern Europe including the Balkans, as well as as Turkey, the Middle East and most of Asia.
Until that happens by allowing girls the choice to choose non-traditional paths of freedom before the age of majority, any inequality is due to a rigid dualism of male-female with men in the dominant role which is artificially constructed as a result of the patriarchalism that underlies each society which practises such traditions.
The solution is not matriarchalism, which itself is a rigid dualism of male-female with women in the dominant role.
Rather, both the sexes must endeavour to transcend the artificial construct of the male-female dichotomy and especially transcend the dominant-submissive dichotomy and truly become democratic and egalitarian without preference for the limited dichotomy be it of the sexes or of control. Although sexism is inherent in any system which supports either patriarchal or matriarchal power structures, it loses its power in a gender neutral power structure where power is shared by capable men and women
Thus there is a way out.
It starts with Alice Miller and goes beyond the December 6 Massacre to the sole purpose to emancipate men and women alike from the perils of child abuse, the root of human violence learned in family. The solution is not to break up families but to provide counselling to let survivors tell their stories without censure.
By sharing it is possible to help heal psychic wounds, thus beginning the road to recovery to help renew a sense of hope.
For gylanic egalitarianism is the way out of sexism.
Originally posted: December 23, 2010 4:27 AM
20140111
Dec. 6 Day of Action and Awareness Against Violence Against Women and Children (satire)
Dec. 6 is also a day when a victim of violence ended not only the life of 14 bright women but also his own life.
This victim's name is reviled yet must be remembered, too.
We know him as Marc Lepine today, but originally he was born to an Algerian immigrant, Rachid Liass Gharbi, possibly of Berber origin, and Canadian Monique Lepine as Gamil Rodrigue Gharbi.
While married to Gharbi, Ms Lepine was subject to violence at his hands, as was Gamil. This was due to financial difficulties following a stock market crash after 1968.
Rachid Gharbi's contempt for women originated in his belief that they were only intended to serve men. This was due to his cultural origins, and may have been influenced by historical Islamic oppression of the region.
Verbally and physically abusive to his wife and children, Rachid once beat his son so hard that marks on Gamil's were visible a week later. He strongly discouraged tenderness between mother and child, considering it spoiling.
At age 7, Gamil's parents separated. During the separation of his parents, the family spent a year (1975) in family psychotherapy due to difficulties expressing and receiving love and affection in a vain attempt to recover from it. A year later in 1976 they divorced. Afterwards they saw little of Rachid Gharbi, who later moved abroad, possibly moving back to Algeria or to Costa Rica and Puerto Rico, where he originally had worked successfully as a mutual fund salesman.
I mention Gamil's history because it is the history of a victim of child abuse. It is also the history of sibling rivalry, for he had a younger sister who used to tease him because of teenaged acne.
Yes, Gamil is a victim just as much as each one of the forteen women who died needlessly. However, the revisionism about him by feminists only demonizes him, while glorifying the women as martyrs.
Thus is it not a day of remembrance and action on domestic abuse and family violence that December 6 also be remembered for? After all, Gamil was verbally and physically abused as a child by his father.
December 6 should also be know as a day to take action and promote awareness of domestic and family violence which is directly related to violence against women.
However, let me add that the tragedy of Gamil Rodrigue Gharbi's death is not that it ended with such a high body count, but that his sister committed suicide after descending into drug addiction, most likely due to child abuse she too suffered at the hands of her father, Rachid. Likewise, at least one of the men who survived December 6, 1989 committed suicide because he could no longer handle the guilt at failing
People who celebrate women's victim-hood on December 6 may be the kind of people who will obey what the gunman says when he pops into their lives unexpectedly.
To that, I ask "Can you bear the cost of more lives lost because you left the room just because a gunman is brandishing a gun?"
Every time I hear of people dying because everyone obeyed the gunman, it confirms that men are more caring and compassionate but unable to put the lives of other people before their own.
It has only been in recent memory that I have also heard of an unarmed woman suffering postpartum psychosis getting gunned down by paranoid policeman because she wanted access to the White House illegally.
A few years ago, a lot of children and women got shot by Adam Lanza because they followed their safety procedures, which made it easier for the gunman to shoot them dead. I am sure that saying "Shooter stop!" is not going to stop a man who had just murdered his mother that very morning.
Today, it will be the twenty-fifth year since Marc Lepine walked into L'ecole Polytechnic in Montréal and said "I hate feminists." In my opinion, those three words were a lie. Despite his hit list of feminists in Montreal and Quebec City, Gamil Gabri failed miserably in killing one feminist. In fact, most of the women he murdered were not feminists.
Even though he shot fourteen women dead, twenty-three people were wounded and survived. Perhaps today's metro-sexual men should reflect on that when December 6 comes again in less than 11 months.
When men becoming more caring and compassionate, all it takes is one man to get them to leave the room if he carries a couple guns.
Nobody will know he had been beaten as a child until after another school shooting occurs. No one will know that the marks on his body were still visible a week later.
All it takes is one man to blame women for his problems, rather than his father or mother for physically abusing him. Then, not only will we have a repeat of the massacre of L'ecole Polytechnic but also Columbine, the Gill shooting in Montréal, the Vantech massacre, the Sandy Hook massacre, and other mass school killings.
Thus it makes sense that the metro-sexual men and their women remember Marc Lepine and sacrifice their lives as they attempt to take down tomorrow's crazed gunman.
It matters not if the gunman is a gang member or a psychotic who broke because of years of child abuse.
What really matters is that we should be prepared for the worst. As for now, children ought to get subsidized martial arts lessons by volunteers, be it street fighting or jeet-kun-do.
Yet martial arts instructors can tell from the first day, which student really should not be in class. It would be the child who willfully tries to injures others who would be pointed out to the principal.
Instead, willful meanness is allowed to fester and grow in the minds of children today. Rather than video games, children need at least four hours of play in addition to the three hours of studying by the time they get to high school.
Martial arts then ought to be an elective in middle school and up, as part of physical education and social studies. Unfortunately, that is not going to happen because not only schools today gun-free zones, the one rule of school is no fighting allowed.
In any event, martial arts is less violent than shooting fourteen women dead.
However, I do not suggest martial arts will prevent violence at school or in the homes. Rather, my reason for suggesting it is because it might help children become more assertive and outgoing.
According to my research on what to do if a gunman is packing a firearm but it isn't visible, the experts advise that you should rush him. This is because it take time to whip a pistol out from its hiding place tucked in the gunman's or under his jacket. If he is trained in the proper care and safety of a firearm, then he would also have the safety on in case of accidental discharge.
With the number of men back in 1989 in the class that Marc Lepine first said his infamous words, they could have easily rushed him. Perhaps Lepine would have gotten four or five shoots, but more women and men would have not been killed or wounded.
If a gunman comes with the aim to kill at a school tomorrow then mob him. Even if it means a couple people wounded and one person near death, then the odds are in favor of the mob, provided that the point man also call off any overkill of the gunman.
In conclusion, rather than Gamil Gabri's "Oh shit!" before he uttered, "Je déteste les féministes!", the cry heard around the world the next time a mass school shooting occurs ought to be "Je déteste batteurs de l'enfant!"
Indeed, every day ought to be a day of awareness and education exposing violence against women and children.
Just to give you a heads up about such violence, I leave you with the following from my recent Google search in the references below, where violence against women is common in the Punjab region of Pakistan (and probably India,too).
Original post: December 2, 2008 1:32 PM
Reference:
A different take on December 6: http://christopherdiarmani.com/733/common-sense/our-national-monument-to-womens-victimhood/
Google "violence against women and children": https://www.google.ca/search?q=violence+against+women+and+children&oq=violence+against+women+and+children&aqs=chrome..69i57.6340j0j1&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#q=violence+against+women+and+children&tbm=nws
Violence against women in the Punjab: http://www.nation.com.pk/lahore/05-Jan-2014/violence-against-women-kids-pti-body-to-start-public-move
In Iran, violence against women highest among Kurds: http://rudaw.net/english/middleeast/iran/050120141
Violence against women real here (in Solomon Islands): http://www.solomonstarnews.com/features/women/20739-violence-against-women-real-here
This victim's name is reviled yet must be remembered, too.
We know him as Marc Lepine today, but originally he was born to an Algerian immigrant, Rachid Liass Gharbi, possibly of Berber origin, and Canadian Monique Lepine as Gamil Rodrigue Gharbi.
While married to Gharbi, Ms Lepine was subject to violence at his hands, as was Gamil. This was due to financial difficulties following a stock market crash after 1968.
Rachid Gharbi's contempt for women originated in his belief that they were only intended to serve men. This was due to his cultural origins, and may have been influenced by historical Islamic oppression of the region.
Verbally and physically abusive to his wife and children, Rachid once beat his son so hard that marks on Gamil's were visible a week later. He strongly discouraged tenderness between mother and child, considering it spoiling.
At age 7, Gamil's parents separated. During the separation of his parents, the family spent a year (1975) in family psychotherapy due to difficulties expressing and receiving love and affection in a vain attempt to recover from it. A year later in 1976 they divorced. Afterwards they saw little of Rachid Gharbi, who later moved abroad, possibly moving back to Algeria or to Costa Rica and Puerto Rico, where he originally had worked successfully as a mutual fund salesman.
I mention Gamil's history because it is the history of a victim of child abuse. It is also the history of sibling rivalry, for he had a younger sister who used to tease him because of teenaged acne.
Yes, Gamil is a victim just as much as each one of the forteen women who died needlessly. However, the revisionism about him by feminists only demonizes him, while glorifying the women as martyrs.
Thus is it not a day of remembrance and action on domestic abuse and family violence that December 6 also be remembered for? After all, Gamil was verbally and physically abused as a child by his father.
December 6 should also be know as a day to take action and promote awareness of domestic and family violence which is directly related to violence against women.
However, let me add that the tragedy of Gamil Rodrigue Gharbi's death is not that it ended with such a high body count, but that his sister committed suicide after descending into drug addiction, most likely due to child abuse she too suffered at the hands of her father, Rachid. Likewise, at least one of the men who survived December 6, 1989 committed suicide because he could no longer handle the guilt at failing
People who celebrate women's victim-hood on December 6 may be the kind of people who will obey what the gunman says when he pops into their lives unexpectedly.
To that, I ask "Can you bear the cost of more lives lost because you left the room just because a gunman is brandishing a gun?"
Every time I hear of people dying because everyone obeyed the gunman, it confirms that men are more caring and compassionate but unable to put the lives of other people before their own.
It has only been in recent memory that I have also heard of an unarmed woman suffering postpartum psychosis getting gunned down by paranoid policeman because she wanted access to the White House illegally.
A few years ago, a lot of children and women got shot by Adam Lanza because they followed their safety procedures, which made it easier for the gunman to shoot them dead. I am sure that saying "Shooter stop!" is not going to stop a man who had just murdered his mother that very morning.
Today, it will be the twenty-fifth year since Marc Lepine walked into L'ecole Polytechnic in Montréal and said "I hate feminists." In my opinion, those three words were a lie. Despite his hit list of feminists in Montreal and Quebec City, Gamil Gabri failed miserably in killing one feminist. In fact, most of the women he murdered were not feminists.
Even though he shot fourteen women dead, twenty-three people were wounded and survived. Perhaps today's metro-sexual men should reflect on that when December 6 comes again in less than 11 months.
When men becoming more caring and compassionate, all it takes is one man to get them to leave the room if he carries a couple guns.
Nobody will know he had been beaten as a child until after another school shooting occurs. No one will know that the marks on his body were still visible a week later.
All it takes is one man to blame women for his problems, rather than his father or mother for physically abusing him. Then, not only will we have a repeat of the massacre of L'ecole Polytechnic but also Columbine, the Gill shooting in Montréal, the Vantech massacre, the Sandy Hook massacre, and other mass school killings.
Thus it makes sense that the metro-sexual men and their women remember Marc Lepine and sacrifice their lives as they attempt to take down tomorrow's crazed gunman.
It matters not if the gunman is a gang member or a psychotic who broke because of years of child abuse.
What really matters is that we should be prepared for the worst. As for now, children ought to get subsidized martial arts lessons by volunteers, be it street fighting or jeet-kun-do.
Yet martial arts instructors can tell from the first day, which student really should not be in class. It would be the child who willfully tries to injures others who would be pointed out to the principal.
Instead, willful meanness is allowed to fester and grow in the minds of children today. Rather than video games, children need at least four hours of play in addition to the three hours of studying by the time they get to high school.
Martial arts then ought to be an elective in middle school and up, as part of physical education and social studies. Unfortunately, that is not going to happen because not only schools today gun-free zones, the one rule of school is no fighting allowed.
In any event, martial arts is less violent than shooting fourteen women dead.
However, I do not suggest martial arts will prevent violence at school or in the homes. Rather, my reason for suggesting it is because it might help children become more assertive and outgoing.
According to my research on what to do if a gunman is packing a firearm but it isn't visible, the experts advise that you should rush him. This is because it take time to whip a pistol out from its hiding place tucked in the gunman's or under his jacket. If he is trained in the proper care and safety of a firearm, then he would also have the safety on in case of accidental discharge.
With the number of men back in 1989 in the class that Marc Lepine first said his infamous words, they could have easily rushed him. Perhaps Lepine would have gotten four or five shoots, but more women and men would have not been killed or wounded.
If a gunman comes with the aim to kill at a school tomorrow then mob him. Even if it means a couple people wounded and one person near death, then the odds are in favor of the mob, provided that the point man also call off any overkill of the gunman.
In conclusion, rather than Gamil Gabri's "Oh shit!" before he uttered, "Je déteste les féministes!", the cry heard around the world the next time a mass school shooting occurs ought to be "Je déteste batteurs de l'enfant!"
Indeed, every day ought to be a day of awareness and education exposing violence against women and children.
Just to give you a heads up about such violence, I leave you with the following from my recent Google search in the references below, where violence against women is common in the Punjab region of Pakistan (and probably India,too).
Original post: December 2, 2008 1:32 PM
Reference:
A different take on December 6: http://christopherdiarmani.com/733/common-sense/our-national-monument-to-womens-victimhood/
Google "violence against women and children": https://www.google.ca/search?q=violence+against+women+and+children&oq=violence+against+women+and+children&aqs=chrome..69i57.6340j0j1&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#q=violence+against+women+and+children&tbm=nws
Violence against women in the Punjab: http://www.nation.com.pk/lahore/05-Jan-2014/violence-against-women-kids-pti-body-to-start-public-move
In Iran, violence against women highest among Kurds: http://rudaw.net/english/middleeast/iran/050120141
Violence against women real here (in Solomon Islands): http://www.solomonstarnews.com/features/women/20739-violence-against-women-real-here
20131204
Confronting Narcissism: The Truth Will Set You Free (satire)
For the sake of this article, there are two types of personalities, the narcissistic and the neurotic.
While this is a simplistic notion of human personality, it suffices. Why? Because an in depth discussion of narcissism and neurosis is outside the aim of this article.
Besides, readers of the social media Twitter tend to have short attention spans.
Also note that anything in bold is the truth that will set you free.
YMMV
Anyway, I'd like to think of narcissism and neurosis as two extremes of what is called human personality.
Neurosis is completely normal, even when a person is limited by anxiety and even worse, phobias. For such limitations are easily overcome simply by practice.
Of course, it is easy for me to say this because I've overcome both anxiety and phobias, mainly by applying Frank Herbert's Litany of Fear to help conquer both the anger that is the root of anxiety and the fear that is the root of phobias.
In contrast, narcissism is abnormal. Narcissistic people are manipulative people. who maintain the egocentricity of youth but have morphed it into narcissism.
However, the egocentric personality believes that the whole world revolves around him, while the narcissist often has a strong sense of entitlement, self-esteem, and the insatiable desire to live his life out by manipulating other people.
Often the narcissistic person believes he is superior to other people, but is willing to manipulate anyone into believing in his superiority.
It's most likely that egocentricity is a component of depression, since the depressed personality tends to view the world through the distorted lens of his illness.
Often narcissism manipulates neurosis in a person who chooses to love a narcissist.
Love will not change a narcissist into a decent human being who empathizes with you and loves you as much as you love him.
Stop lying to yourself because it does not work that way. That is magical thinking, as is love that is blind to the faults of the narcissist.
Early on in any relationship, be it friends or lovers, it is up to you to present the truth about his behaviour as you see it and establish strong boundaries with him.
If he harms you in retaliation (by ignoring it or insulting you) then present the truth again in an even voice and maintain the same strong boundaries.
If this leads to sexual assault, then he broke through those boundaries because he has no respect for you and for your boundaries. Report it to the authorities and break all contact with him. This involves blocking all calls and messages from him. It may even involve learning a martial art, and expecting the unexpected.
If, on the other hand, your neuroses limits to your options to reliance on a friend or mate for emotional support and/or protection, then choose your friends wisely. Do not make the mistake of calling your new boyfriend a policeman, since it could worsen the situation.
Be aware that he will use every trick in the book to manipulate you into forming a bond with him.
Ask for advice from people who know him well, including family and friends. Even his former lovers have good advice.
If you have fallen into the habit of being jealous of rivals, then he will use this against you to "prove" that you love him more than they ever did.
Confronting the narcissistic takes courage but anyone who lets love guide her heart in such matter had better be mentally and physically prepared for the consequences.
Otherwise, you are going to be manipulated into serving him forever.
Whatever I just wrote about heterosexual relationships also applies to homosexual relationships. Manipulative people come in many flavors of gender.
Regarding my advice about not making the mistake of calling your new boyfriend a policeman, the Raoul Moat case in England was an example of a narcissist whose rage against his former partner Samantha Stoddart was fueled by the fact that she'd fibbed to him by calling her new boyfriend a policeman when he was actually a martial arts expert. The real tragedy is that her new boyfriend is dead.
This brings me to relationships with a narcissist. Should a narcissist and a neurotic ever hook up, they may eventually desire to have children.
If the narcissist believes his neurotic wife to be paying too much attention to the child, then he may become jealous of that child.
Eventually it may lead to child abuse, and he will have exercised enough control of his wife to manipulate her into avoiding any confrontation him because she fears the emotional and physical abuse that he uses on her "to keep her in line."
Instead, the neurotic will undergo a lot of stress, which will present itself in overwork, obesity, alcoholism and even prescription drug abuse.
Along the way, she may develop ulcers and eventually cancer. However, the first symptoms will be anxiety and panic attacks, along with phobias. There also will be Stockholm Syndrome, in which she protects her husband in spite of the abuse when offered help.
As well, the narcissistic husband will gaslight the neurotic wife which may lead to involuntary admission to psychiatric wards, where neurotic hospital staff will be manipulated by the husband into believing that her statements of abuse by him are due to medication.
This is why both hospital staff and associated social workers should be trained in detecting narcissists.
IMO I believe some children of narcissists do establish boundaries with their caregivers early and get mistreated as their relationship evolves into becoming the black sheep of the family.
In contrast, narcissistic caregivers who nurture their child to point of narcissism goes beyond normal childcare. Since the children are mere extensions of the caregiver, the behaviour of her child will be controlled to reflect positively on her.
A narcissist will believe that the reason why her child cries is to distract attention from her. She also learns that feeding the child keeps it quiet. If a narcissist is an addict, she may even give her drug of choice to her child to keep it quiet, be it food, alcohol or recreational drugs.
Indeed, a lot of narcissists are social drinkers. Some of them are even recreational drug users, and a few narcissists are both.
In a cruel world, a narcissistic caregiver could be likened the mother of all evil.
I also believe that ego addiction is the root of egocentrism but ego addiction in manipulative people can be overcome after the narcissistic personality is controlled. This can only happen if the person seeks help.
However, I do not believe meditation is a cure-all for narcissism and manipulative people, but rather a preventative since it will lead them to flee when offered to them. Again, meditation will only work if a person humbly seeks it.
While this is a simplistic notion of human personality, it suffices. Why? Because an in depth discussion of narcissism and neurosis is outside the aim of this article.
Besides, readers of the social media Twitter tend to have short attention spans.
Also note that anything in bold is the truth that will set you free.
YMMV
Anyway, I'd like to think of narcissism and neurosis as two extremes of what is called human personality.
Neurosis is completely normal, even when a person is limited by anxiety and even worse, phobias. For such limitations are easily overcome simply by practice.
Of course, it is easy for me to say this because I've overcome both anxiety and phobias, mainly by applying Frank Herbert's Litany of Fear to help conquer both the anger that is the root of anxiety and the fear that is the root of phobias.
In contrast, narcissism is abnormal. Narcissistic people are manipulative people. who maintain the egocentricity of youth but have morphed it into narcissism.
However, the egocentric personality believes that the whole world revolves around him, while the narcissist often has a strong sense of entitlement, self-esteem, and the insatiable desire to live his life out by manipulating other people.
Often the narcissistic person believes he is superior to other people, but is willing to manipulate anyone into believing in his superiority.
It's most likely that egocentricity is a component of depression, since the depressed personality tends to view the world through the distorted lens of his illness.
Often narcissism manipulates neurosis in a person who chooses to love a narcissist.
Love will not change a narcissist into a decent human being who empathizes with you and loves you as much as you love him.
Stop lying to yourself because it does not work that way. That is magical thinking, as is love that is blind to the faults of the narcissist.
Early on in any relationship, be it friends or lovers, it is up to you to present the truth about his behaviour as you see it and establish strong boundaries with him.
If he harms you in retaliation (by ignoring it or insulting you) then present the truth again in an even voice and maintain the same strong boundaries.
If this leads to sexual assault, then he broke through those boundaries because he has no respect for you and for your boundaries. Report it to the authorities and break all contact with him. This involves blocking all calls and messages from him. It may even involve learning a martial art, and expecting the unexpected.
If, on the other hand, your neuroses limits to your options to reliance on a friend or mate for emotional support and/or protection, then choose your friends wisely. Do not make the mistake of calling your new boyfriend a policeman, since it could worsen the situation.
Be aware that he will use every trick in the book to manipulate you into forming a bond with him.
Ask for advice from people who know him well, including family and friends. Even his former lovers have good advice.
If you have fallen into the habit of being jealous of rivals, then he will use this against you to "prove" that you love him more than they ever did.
Confronting the narcissistic takes courage but anyone who lets love guide her heart in such matter had better be mentally and physically prepared for the consequences.
Otherwise, you are going to be manipulated into serving him forever.
Whatever I just wrote about heterosexual relationships also applies to homosexual relationships. Manipulative people come in many flavors of gender.
Regarding my advice about not making the mistake of calling your new boyfriend a policeman, the Raoul Moat case in England was an example of a narcissist whose rage against his former partner Samantha Stoddart was fueled by the fact that she'd fibbed to him by calling her new boyfriend a policeman when he was actually a martial arts expert. The real tragedy is that her new boyfriend is dead.
This brings me to relationships with a narcissist. Should a narcissist and a neurotic ever hook up, they may eventually desire to have children.
If the narcissist believes his neurotic wife to be paying too much attention to the child, then he may become jealous of that child.
Eventually it may lead to child abuse, and he will have exercised enough control of his wife to manipulate her into avoiding any confrontation him because she fears the emotional and physical abuse that he uses on her "to keep her in line."
Instead, the neurotic will undergo a lot of stress, which will present itself in overwork, obesity, alcoholism and even prescription drug abuse.
Along the way, she may develop ulcers and eventually cancer. However, the first symptoms will be anxiety and panic attacks, along with phobias. There also will be Stockholm Syndrome, in which she protects her husband in spite of the abuse when offered help.
As well, the narcissistic husband will gaslight the neurotic wife which may lead to involuntary admission to psychiatric wards, where neurotic hospital staff will be manipulated by the husband into believing that her statements of abuse by him are due to medication.
This is why both hospital staff and associated social workers should be trained in detecting narcissists.
IMO I believe some children of narcissists do establish boundaries with their caregivers early and get mistreated as their relationship evolves into becoming the black sheep of the family.
In contrast, narcissistic caregivers who nurture their child to point of narcissism goes beyond normal childcare. Since the children are mere extensions of the caregiver, the behaviour of her child will be controlled to reflect positively on her.
A narcissist will believe that the reason why her child cries is to distract attention from her. She also learns that feeding the child keeps it quiet. If a narcissist is an addict, she may even give her drug of choice to her child to keep it quiet, be it food, alcohol or recreational drugs.
Indeed, a lot of narcissists are social drinkers. Some of them are even recreational drug users, and a few narcissists are both.
In a cruel world, a narcissistic caregiver could be likened the mother of all evil.
I also believe that ego addiction is the root of egocentrism but ego addiction in manipulative people can be overcome after the narcissistic personality is controlled. This can only happen if the person seeks help.
However, I do not believe meditation is a cure-all for narcissism and manipulative people, but rather a preventative since it will lead them to flee when offered to them. Again, meditation will only work if a person humbly seeks it.
20130709
Marilyn Monroe: Unwitting Victim or Witting Agent of Destiny?
Does Marilyn Monroe represent a healthy ideal of American womanhood or hide a fear of hysteria among young American women today?
IMO Monroe presented a false facade of childlike innocence which actually hid her own personal fear of ending up in a mental hospital like her mother.
Thus, she is representative of a small minority of women whose mothers were taken advantage of by men.
However, Monroe's strategies that she employed through her many characters movies actually represents the fantasies of men about sexual stereotypes of women.
As well, her "dumb blonde" stereotypes are actually a clever facade designed to fool men, and sometimes women, into believing her to be more naîve than she actually was.
Yes, it was all an act. However, it is more likely that she was being taken advantage of by men, and doing tit for tat subtly.
I also see self deception at work in some of her characters, which suggests willingness to deceive oneself about the reality of the situation in order to escape anxiety about one's place in the world.
Even though Monroe appears to be a witting pawn of men, she too is a witting manipulator of men whose demeanor is a beautiful distraction from the fear all women have to face about destiny.
For Marilyn Monroe was especially afraid that she might end up mad in a mental hospital like her mother. My theory about why her mother ended up there is simplistic: she was taken advantage of by Marilyn's father and was not emotionally supported by her own mother (Marilyn's grandmother) due to her lifestyle.
Indeed, there is enough evidence to suggest her behavior from puberty to her death as indicative of child abuse. Furthermore, even though Marilyn's mother Gladys Baker was known to be mentally unstable, the etiology of her mental illness was never mentioned, probably due to a health respect about privacy of women with obvious signs of madness.
My guess is, Gladys Baker too might have been abused as a child. However, a clue appears in the early life of Marilyn Monroe when her maternal grandfather, Otis Elmer Monroe died of syphilis of the brain in 1909. He had been institutionalized at a mental hospital the previous year.
Thus the root of Gladys Baker's madness is syphilis, which was common around and before the turn of the 20th Century. As well, the death of a sibling may have been a childhood trauma which affected her deeply, and lead me to suspect that her own family were affected by their son's death.
As well, a history of depression runs in the family as Gladys' brother committed suicide after being let out of a mental asylum, and a grandfather committed suicide after struggling with depression.
Evidence of little or no emotional support appears when young Norma Jean Baker is rejected by her grandmother Della when Gladys Baker is rebuffed by her attempts to get her mother to look after the child.
As well, Marilyn Monroe's later characterization as thinking her first foster father, Albert Bollender, was a woman either indicates a hilarious story played for laughs, or the possible evidence that the foster father might have been either a cross dresser or closet homosexual who married in order to keep up appearances.
In actual fact, there is no Albert. Mr. Bollender's name was actually Wayne Bolender. Thus, the wikipedia entry below is full of inaccuracies.
Overall, Marilyn Monroe's early life as a child of the 1930s and early war era lacks a strong father figure, which is essential to a woman's character and adult emotional stability. Indeed, a healthy relationship with men may be maintained when a girl is free of childhood abuse and trauma, and a father or substitute father figure establishes and maintains a healthy role in her life.
I see little evidence of this occurring in young Norma Jean Baker's life before puberty. However, I see evidence that the future Marilyn Monroe adapted well to the lack of a father in her life.
Even so, the victimization of Monroe by her doctor led to her death from barbiturate poisoning. Her difficulties before her death are indicative of drug abuse, abuse that was facilitated by a doctor who may have overprescribed.
Merci Marilyn! Tu as joué le partie bien.
Reference:
Early life of Marilyn Monroe: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Early_life_of_Marilyn_Monroe
50 Playboy pictures of Marilyn Monroe hid from us: http://coed.com/2012/11/19/50-rarely-seen-marilyn-monroe-playboy-photos-in-celebration-of-the-nude-marilyn/#photoid=44
Marilyn Monroe on Marilyn documentary: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyWW0bDnY28
In this documentary, you hear Marilyn Monroe's story in her own words.
20130311
Lost for 10 years!
Noah's life was transformed from one of happiness and good health before his drugging, to one of severe depression, anxiety, diabetes, high blood pressure, severe migraines, severe hostility, homicidal tendencies, aggression, suicidality, etc., etc., etc. His history now includes involuntary commitment to 7 mental hospitals, placement in 12 foster homes, and literally dozens of so-called mental health “professionals” pulling and tearing at his life & his psyche. At each turn, at each institution, while in the hands and/or care of these 'professionals' Noah was taken deeper and deeper into the world of a severely mentally ill youngster, for he was being legally drug abused to the full extent of 1000 mgs per day (!) of psychotropic/antidepressant/SSRI drugs. He was only 14 years old!
Could it be that "psychotropic/antidepressant/SSRI drugs" are the gateway to mental illness? Yes, if you value your intellect, your self-respect and your sanity, then such drugs are almost as dangerous as recreational drugs to your health and happiness.
While a few people may remain stable on a strict regiment of psychiatric meditation, I find it hard to conclude that drug therapy for behavior disorders is useful for children under 16.
To drug a child for supposed ADHD is almost child abuse.
Update: March 11, 2013
I wonder how Noah is doing now. The more I read about this case, the more I feel vindicated in the use of my medication (gabapentin and cyclobenzaprine), precisely because adequate rest is important in the control of anxiety and relieve from depression..
So I have added more webpage links in the reference section of this article.
Original post: February 20, 2007 0052H
Update posted: March 11, 2013 0300H
Able Child - Gloria Wright: http://web.archive.org/web/20070605162725/http://www.ablechild.org/gloria%20wright.htm
Could it be that "psychotropic/antidepressant/SSRI drugs" are the gateway to mental illness? Yes, if you value your intellect, your self-respect and your sanity, then such drugs are almost as dangerous as recreational drugs to your health and happiness.
While a few people may remain stable on a strict regiment of psychiatric meditation, I find it hard to conclude that drug therapy for behavior disorders is useful for children under 16.
To drug a child for supposed ADHD is almost child abuse.
Update: March 11, 2013
I wonder how Noah is doing now. The more I read about this case, the more I feel vindicated in the use of my medication (gabapentin and cyclobenzaprine), precisely because adequate rest is important in the control of anxiety and relieve from depression..
So I have added more webpage links in the reference section of this article.
Original post: February 20, 2007 0052H
Update posted: March 11, 2013 0300H
Able Child - Gloria Wright: http://web.archive.org/web/20070605162725/http://www.ablechild.org/gloria%20wright.htm
20130203
Child Abuse and Its Relation to Addictions and Mental Health
My best friend was FM. After hearing how he grew up in Surrey as a kid, I realized that child abuse is also the prime factor in alcoholism and drug abuse.
However, the rest of this blog post isn't about him but is chiefly concerned with the prevalence of child abuse in the addiction and mental health field.
Due to the fact that no health professional can handle trauma without getting tripped up by its intensity, child abuse sometimes overlooked by mental health professionals.
As well, I learned that child abuse and neglect is sometimes swept under the rug by health professionals because of the costs in burnout due to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder induced by detailed revelations of the abuse.
Victims of child abuse or neglect are given a limited (PTSD) time in psychotherapy (2 years) because therapy does not work with personality disorders caused by PTSD from the abuse.
However, any health professional who reacts negatively to a person hurting from child abuse, even though both parents are dead, acts in an unprofessional manner when that mental health consumer is told to "get over it."
When a person chooses to live in her own hell, the challenge is in offering her choices that show to her the futility of living in hell.
A lack of belief in heaven and a God that is forgiving is lost on child abuse victims whose father used to abuse them as children because the only father they knew was mean to them.
Religion is also lost on them when the abuse was done by a certain Christian sect. Such Christian sects attract child abusers and other sinners who break Jesus' rule against harming children, because it is so easy to control the church hierarchy by invoking the name of the Devil or Satan to prevent exposure of the crime.
However, the rest of this blog post isn't about him but is chiefly concerned with the prevalence of child abuse in the addiction and mental health field.
Due to the fact that no health professional can handle trauma without getting tripped up by its intensity, child abuse sometimes overlooked by mental health professionals.
As well, I learned that child abuse and neglect is sometimes swept under the rug by health professionals because of the costs in burnout due to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder induced by detailed revelations of the abuse.
Victims of child abuse or neglect are given a limited (PTSD) time in psychotherapy (2 years) because therapy does not work with personality disorders caused by PTSD from the abuse.
However, any health professional who reacts negatively to a person hurting from child abuse, even though both parents are dead, acts in an unprofessional manner when that mental health consumer is told to "get over it."
When a person chooses to live in her own hell, the challenge is in offering her choices that show to her the futility of living in hell.
A lack of belief in heaven and a God that is forgiving is lost on child abuse victims whose father used to abuse them as children because the only father they knew was mean to them.
Religion is also lost on them when the abuse was done by a certain Christian sect. Such Christian sects attract child abusers and other sinners who break Jesus' rule against harming children, because it is so easy to control the church hierarchy by invoking the name of the Devil or Satan to prevent exposure of the crime.
20130112
Overmedication in Psychwards: Its Cure
A hospital psychward demands order.
That's why they're medicated.
Most psychiatric professionals are not in the business of administering therapy in such a setting because working in such a setting only makes them chump change.
Besides most of them know that psychoanalysis usually does not "cure" a patient but merely ensures that he'll be back for more of the same.
Medicating patients in a psychward is more efficient use of resources, and often more humane than the mental hospitals of the past.
Sadly though, the reason why most patients are in a psychward is because nobody actually listens to them and takes care of their needs at home.
Sometimes, a psychward actually has caring professionals to give the minimum of care.
That is because it is difficult to inculcate a caring and compassionate attitude in the profession.
You either have it or you burn out.
For the whole purpose of medication is to avoid burn out, because even a caring professional will be overwhelmed by the horror stories some of the mentally ill have to tell.
If it weren't for the fact that most parents haven't gotten their shit together and take out their unresolved issues on their children, the world would have less rates of mental illness than they currently!
20 percent of people == 1.3 billion worldwide who have a mental illness, which in itself is evidence of child abuse and neglect in their immediate families.
When we learn how to effectively address the risks which lead to abuse and neglect, that'll be when the rates go down.
However, it is the stress of a fast-paced society that breeds mental illness due to ineffective coping skills.
That may be because public education is a fast-paced stream of academics lacking even the basics of teaching kids how to handle stress.
However, I'll bet you teaching them the basics of meditation can and will help to reduce transforming benign schizotypies into mental illness.
And I'll be you too that in nations where the people are obligated to spend five years of Buddhist training (become monks and nuns) before being allowed to become householders probably have lower rates of mental illness than secular nations that manufacture consumers who are first and foremost obligated to become productive members of a fast-paced society, often without giving them a wide range of coping skills to deal with stress.
That's why they're medicated.
Most psychiatric professionals are not in the business of administering therapy in such a setting because working in such a setting only makes them chump change.
Besides most of them know that psychoanalysis usually does not "cure" a patient but merely ensures that he'll be back for more of the same.
Medicating patients in a psychward is more efficient use of resources, and often more humane than the mental hospitals of the past.
Sadly though, the reason why most patients are in a psychward is because nobody actually listens to them and takes care of their needs at home.
Sometimes, a psychward actually has caring professionals to give the minimum of care.
That is because it is difficult to inculcate a caring and compassionate attitude in the profession.
You either have it or you burn out.
For the whole purpose of medication is to avoid burn out, because even a caring professional will be overwhelmed by the horror stories some of the mentally ill have to tell.
If it weren't for the fact that most parents haven't gotten their shit together and take out their unresolved issues on their children, the world would have less rates of mental illness than they currently!
20 percent of people == 1.3 billion worldwide who have a mental illness, which in itself is evidence of child abuse and neglect in their immediate families.
When we learn how to effectively address the risks which lead to abuse and neglect, that'll be when the rates go down.
However, it is the stress of a fast-paced society that breeds mental illness due to ineffective coping skills.
That may be because public education is a fast-paced stream of academics lacking even the basics of teaching kids how to handle stress.
However, I'll bet you teaching them the basics of meditation can and will help to reduce transforming benign schizotypies into mental illness.
And I'll be you too that in nations where the people are obligated to spend five years of Buddhist training (become monks and nuns) before being allowed to become householders probably have lower rates of mental illness than secular nations that manufacture consumers who are first and foremost obligated to become productive members of a fast-paced society, often without giving them a wide range of coping skills to deal with stress.
20130102
Children Ought to be Seen and Heard
In my opinion, to punish a child for talking back to a parent is unjustifiable, as by talking back, a child demonstrates two things: that s/he is an individual covered by the human rights proclamation in defense of free speech and that s/he is communicating.
When a parent rewards a child for being silent in the face of verbal abuse, that is mental cruelty and in essence, a form of child neglect, as the parent is neglecting the child's right to communicate freely.
This is the anatomy of rebellion in that child's teens.
Yet sadly, because a minor is in the custody of their caregivers, the rights of children are ignored, to their detriment.
Is it any wonder the things teenagers are doing today away from parents outrageous (gangs, murder, bullying)?
I say the seeds of rebellion and the child straying into the realm of decadent hedonism is tied to how the parent treats that child.
When you give them the opportunity to choice anything but hanging out with the wrong crowd, parents are not depriving children of having a life.
Rather, you are validating their right to be heard and seen.
If I had parents like that, then I'd want to share that story with the world.
Children ought to be seen and heard by their parents, not on the TV being busted for "mischief".
When a parent rewards a child for being silent in the face of verbal abuse, that is mental cruelty and in essence, a form of child neglect, as the parent is neglecting the child's right to communicate freely.
This is the anatomy of rebellion in that child's teens.
Yet sadly, because a minor is in the custody of their caregivers, the rights of children are ignored, to their detriment.
Is it any wonder the things teenagers are doing today away from parents outrageous (gangs, murder, bullying)?
I say the seeds of rebellion and the child straying into the realm of decadent hedonism is tied to how the parent treats that child.
When you give them the opportunity to choice anything but hanging out with the wrong crowd, parents are not depriving children of having a life.
Rather, you are validating their right to be heard and seen.
If I had parents like that, then I'd want to share that story with the world.
Children ought to be seen and heard by their parents, not on the TV being busted for "mischief".
20121223
Myopic Thoughts on Male Prostitution
If the gentle reader has any objection to what I've written, then feel free to do one of the following: 1) comment, provided you have a Gmail account, 2) get a Google Plus account to discuss your objection, or 3) link me via Google Plus or, if you place my link on your website or a third-party page, then leave a comment so I can thank you. You are free to talk behind my back, provided that if I find out , that you engage in civil discussion when I defend myself.
Feminism has led to me wishing I'd been born female, but that's unrealistic.
However, it is homophobic to call a straight male gay if he expresses such a wish when his desire to become female is tempered by reality and motivated by egalitarian ideals rather than the patriarchy that claims to foster equality of gender rights yet condones sexism by both sides of the gender debate.
At the moment, the choices to get out a bad situation a woman has are exceedingly greater than for a man in the same position when at risk.
For example, a female prostitute can get pregnant or get married to avoid the situation. If a bad trick is after her, she can escape to a women's shelter. If she has a drug addiction, there's rehab. As well, she can delay prostitution to a later age than men. She is at risk for victimization by rape and murder.
A male prostitute has to avoid gay bashing, sodomy (rape) and murder. He also has to wait until 18 before seeking to get out of the business, because he could end up being taken from one home and placed in another, rather than actually have the core issue that he may share with his sister of the night: threat of physical and/or sexual abuse in the home he lives in. If that threat is absent there, then there may be an abuser awaiting in the immediate community.
I feel that social workers need to step up the scrutiny of foster homes, to prevent abuse. The kinds of foster parents which ought to be closely scrutinized are where one or both parent has an untreated mental illness, untreated drug addiction, or both untreated mental illness and drug addiction.
These problems cannot be properly treated if the minor is treated to the chaos involved in fostering, as sometimes it leads to unsafe environments even though the foster care system says otherwise.
This is why male prostitutes wait longer before exiting prostitution.
Sometimes a male prostitute will have been oppressed by a family member physically and/or sexually. If discovered by the State, then it leads to the chaos of foster care. If not discovered, then it could lead to at-risk behavior such as suicide by either the fast route (hanging, poisoning, slitting wrists, gun) or the slow route (drug addiction including alcohol and tobacco, abuse of pharmaceutical drugs particularly narcotics, cutting and similar forms of self abuse including the psychological).
It is important for the State's agents (social workers) never use any method available to them to play the blame game with the parents. However, the parents' objections to removal of their child still need to be included in the court evidence when a male prostitute who is a minor is taken away from his birth parents and inserted into a foster home. In no way is the State to allow homophobia to guide its hand in this matter. Thus, the State has no say at all in sexuality of its charges in a foster or group home.
The same recommendations above also apply to group homes, and this includes regular training of security guards who ha to put up with psychotic children who have been abused from a young age.
Feminism has led to me wishing I'd been born female, but that's unrealistic.
However, it is homophobic to call a straight male gay if he expresses such a wish when his desire to become female is tempered by reality and motivated by egalitarian ideals rather than the patriarchy that claims to foster equality of gender rights yet condones sexism by both sides of the gender debate.
At the moment, the choices to get out a bad situation a woman has are exceedingly greater than for a man in the same position when at risk.
For example, a female prostitute can get pregnant or get married to avoid the situation. If a bad trick is after her, she can escape to a women's shelter. If she has a drug addiction, there's rehab. As well, she can delay prostitution to a later age than men. She is at risk for victimization by rape and murder.
A male prostitute has to avoid gay bashing, sodomy (rape) and murder. He also has to wait until 18 before seeking to get out of the business, because he could end up being taken from one home and placed in another, rather than actually have the core issue that he may share with his sister of the night: threat of physical and/or sexual abuse in the home he lives in. If that threat is absent there, then there may be an abuser awaiting in the immediate community.
I feel that social workers need to step up the scrutiny of foster homes, to prevent abuse. The kinds of foster parents which ought to be closely scrutinized are where one or both parent has an untreated mental illness, untreated drug addiction, or both untreated mental illness and drug addiction.
These problems cannot be properly treated if the minor is treated to the chaos involved in fostering, as sometimes it leads to unsafe environments even though the foster care system says otherwise.
This is why male prostitutes wait longer before exiting prostitution.
Sometimes a male prostitute will have been oppressed by a family member physically and/or sexually. If discovered by the State, then it leads to the chaos of foster care. If not discovered, then it could lead to at-risk behavior such as suicide by either the fast route (hanging, poisoning, slitting wrists, gun) or the slow route (drug addiction including alcohol and tobacco, abuse of pharmaceutical drugs particularly narcotics, cutting and similar forms of self abuse including the psychological).
It is important for the State's agents (social workers) never use any method available to them to play the blame game with the parents. However, the parents' objections to removal of their child still need to be included in the court evidence when a male prostitute who is a minor is taken away from his birth parents and inserted into a foster home. In no way is the State to allow homophobia to guide its hand in this matter. Thus, the State has no say at all in sexuality of its charges in a foster or group home.
The same recommendations above also apply to group homes, and this includes regular training of security guards who ha to put up with psychotic children who have been abused from a young age.
Ethnic Solidarity in Fostering
Nothing in this blog entry is expert opinion but is based on observation of the effects of foster families. Hence it is biased and needs a rewrite. So if after you read this article and object to anything I recommend or say, then I urge you to comment to me.
It's not to hard to get a Gmail account and to become a GooglePlus member when that restricts comments. However, I am not a firm believer in perpetuating the evils of open comments, because the goods of rational discussion are not supported by the evils of spamming, and darkly negative comments which stop discussion dead.
Essentially, the family's cohesiveness ought never be challenged by the State. For the consequences of State involvement in the break-up of family are worse than the immediate situation IF and only IF the family is so dysfunctional that the children's security and safety are at threat.
During the interview to become a foster parent, it is up to the social worker to get a complete picture of the foster parents, his or her parents, and how everyone grew up. This thus will involve family therapists, and other mental health professionals. As it stands now, the gaping holes in the process leading up to being a foster parent need to be repaired.
Making these statements about foster parenting is in no way 'attacking' good foster parents. It is merely asking of social workers to enhance the security of family and the security of fostering. If this is actually done now, and my words are not in touch with today, then my words only show that I expect the process to continue to weed out "bad" parents.
One warning sign of "bad" parenting is when the social worker asks the question, "How are things going on in the home?" and there is an awkward silence followed by "Fine", "Things are alright and Sally is doing well", and "I really like it here. Thanks." Yet the foster parents and the foster child assigned to the home are not making eye contact with the workers.
If this is an Asian family with an Asian children, then the cultural trait of deference should be assumed. If they were suspected of having problems, then it's important to then say, "Well, off the record, are there problem between you, Joe and you, Jane?" and then after a minute, "How about you, Sally?" Finally, individual interviews need to be taken to help avoid the tendency for family groups to "put the lid on rotten garbage".
I actually encourage ethnic solidarity to be the practice of social workers. A lot of the problems in foster families is that the cultural milieu of the foster home may be at odds with the culture in which the child grew up. When the child is between 12 and 18, cultural traits are already hardwired and therefore, there will always be confrontation between the foster parents and the child being fostered. Therefore it is recommended that the child be matched by cultural origin, before other criteria are added to ensure fostering avoids the pitfall of any underlying agenda to continue the cycle of patriarchy.
Ethnic solidarity implies that both the child's cultural traits and the foster parents' traits match. When they do not match, then the foster parents are disqualified. Thus the home must be Asian if the child is Asian. However, the parents may be Asian or non-Asians who have adopted most of the Asian cultural traits through assimilation in an Asian community or country. This is not a racialist priotity; this is a multicultural priority.
Objection to this ethnic solidarity may be that any family is good enough to the child when his or her needs are met. I would argue that without a good ethnic match, the foster parents will rarely get the foster child from observing their family rules when the child has had a relax set of rules made arbitarily.
If you want confirmation of that, check out The World's Strictest Parents on Youtube.
It's not to hard to get a Gmail account and to become a GooglePlus member when that restricts comments. However, I am not a firm believer in perpetuating the evils of open comments, because the goods of rational discussion are not supported by the evils of spamming, and darkly negative comments which stop discussion dead.
Essentially, the family's cohesiveness ought never be challenged by the State. For the consequences of State involvement in the break-up of family are worse than the immediate situation IF and only IF the family is so dysfunctional that the children's security and safety are at threat.
During the interview to become a foster parent, it is up to the social worker to get a complete picture of the foster parents, his or her parents, and how everyone grew up. This thus will involve family therapists, and other mental health professionals. As it stands now, the gaping holes in the process leading up to being a foster parent need to be repaired.
Making these statements about foster parenting is in no way 'attacking' good foster parents. It is merely asking of social workers to enhance the security of family and the security of fostering. If this is actually done now, and my words are not in touch with today, then my words only show that I expect the process to continue to weed out "bad" parents.
One warning sign of "bad" parenting is when the social worker asks the question, "How are things going on in the home?" and there is an awkward silence followed by "Fine", "Things are alright and Sally is doing well", and "I really like it here. Thanks." Yet the foster parents and the foster child assigned to the home are not making eye contact with the workers.
If this is an Asian family with an Asian children, then the cultural trait of deference should be assumed. If they were suspected of having problems, then it's important to then say, "Well, off the record, are there problem between you, Joe and you, Jane?" and then after a minute, "How about you, Sally?" Finally, individual interviews need to be taken to help avoid the tendency for family groups to "put the lid on rotten garbage".
I actually encourage ethnic solidarity to be the practice of social workers. A lot of the problems in foster families is that the cultural milieu of the foster home may be at odds with the culture in which the child grew up. When the child is between 12 and 18, cultural traits are already hardwired and therefore, there will always be confrontation between the foster parents and the child being fostered. Therefore it is recommended that the child be matched by cultural origin, before other criteria are added to ensure fostering avoids the pitfall of any underlying agenda to continue the cycle of patriarchy.
Ethnic solidarity implies that both the child's cultural traits and the foster parents' traits match. When they do not match, then the foster parents are disqualified. Thus the home must be Asian if the child is Asian. However, the parents may be Asian or non-Asians who have adopted most of the Asian cultural traits through assimilation in an Asian community or country. This is not a racialist priotity; this is a multicultural priority.
Objection to this ethnic solidarity may be that any family is good enough to the child when his or her needs are met. I would argue that without a good ethnic match, the foster parents will rarely get the foster child from observing their family rules when the child has had a relax set of rules made arbitarily.
If you want confirmation of that, check out The World's Strictest Parents on Youtube.
20121222
My Hope for the Future
Overall, reduction of oppression of women of color.This may be done by egalitarian means.
Elimination of child neglect and child abuse.
Elimination of the glass ceiling for women, or better, women executives competing on the same level of men, due to men's enlightened attitude, throwing off patriarchy's disempowerment of both men and women.
Discovering evidence to counter the effect of religion as disempowering women by making Buddhist practice less of a religion and more of a lifestyle change. For Buddhism has shown that when practiced outside of patriarchies in an egalitarian society, demonstrates that Buddhist women benefit as much as men do.
As well, I believe that less oppression and sexism actually occurs in society than it did 100 years ago.
However, neither men nor women should be the privileged sex, as both feminism and patriarchism promise.
Rather, an egalitarian society without glass ceilings, oppression of women and of men, and safety of boys and girls from harm is the ideal.
As well, it's time to change myself for the better to ensure these hopes are put into action first through speech and followed through with action.
.
Elimination of child neglect and child abuse.
Elimination of the glass ceiling for women, or better, women executives competing on the same level of men, due to men's enlightened attitude, throwing off patriarchy's disempowerment of both men and women.
Discovering evidence to counter the effect of religion as disempowering women by making Buddhist practice less of a religion and more of a lifestyle change. For Buddhism has shown that when practiced outside of patriarchies in an egalitarian society, demonstrates that Buddhist women benefit as much as men do.
As well, I believe that less oppression and sexism actually occurs in society than it did 100 years ago.
However, neither men nor women should be the privileged sex, as both feminism and patriarchism promise.
Rather, an egalitarian society without glass ceilings, oppression of women and of men, and safety of boys and girls from harm is the ideal.
As well, it's time to change myself for the better to ensure these hopes are put into action first through speech and followed through with action.
.
20121219
Child Abuse Cases Have Racist Undertones
Please read this news story, and then ask yourself, "When would African children be defiant in a fundamental Christian home?"
When the adoptive parents are white, and don't understand that they took their adoptive children away from their culture and friends.
I object strenuously to fundamentalist Christian families adopting children from another country where the culture there is dissimilar to their own.
These deaths also have the appearance of a racist element because in the two cases mentioned in the story, the children were of African descent.
If the children were defiant, then it could be that they had previously adapted to the culture of their country of origin. In one case, the girl who died was 7 years old. In the other case, the girl was old enough to have adapted to cultural norms for her country of origin.
Thus in both cases, the adoptive parents made errors in adopting African children who were old enough to adapt to their native culture, and thus would require more patience than the fundamental Christian parents who killed them had.
This is what I have objections with: adopting older children who have already adopted the cultural norms of their country of origin.
It's not the children's fault then.
It is the parents', because fundamental Christian values will have a harder time helping a children of a vastly different culture adapt to a strict upbringing where defiance is not tolerated at all.
Sadly though, a few fundamental Christian parents will ignore this and cause harm to a lot of older African adoptees. This will also impact society in the future if that strict upbringing leads to further defiance caused by child abuse.
For that defiance could actually be because the child knows it is wrong to be physically abused.
My focus in this blog entry are parents who physically abuse their children i.e. have gotten angry when their discipline does not work.
Child abuse is the ritual abuse of a child whilst pretending it's for the child's own good. However, it is not for the parents' good or the child's.
In the two cases found in the news story referenced, the two girls who died were adopted African children.
It actually is the inability of the parents to realize that the "defiance" they faced was because the children KNEW the ritual abuse is wrong.
For the parents to continue to abuse their adopted children in this way shows that whatever love they professed for these children was thrown away when they started to ritually abuse them.
"It is impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they do come! It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones." (Luke 17:1-2)
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/07/us/deaths-put-focus-on-pastors-advocacy-of-spanking.html?hp&_r=0
When the adoptive parents are white, and don't understand that they took their adoptive children away from their culture and friends.
I object strenuously to fundamentalist Christian families adopting children from another country where the culture there is dissimilar to their own.
These deaths also have the appearance of a racist element because in the two cases mentioned in the story, the children were of African descent.
If the children were defiant, then it could be that they had previously adapted to the culture of their country of origin. In one case, the girl who died was 7 years old. In the other case, the girl was old enough to have adapted to cultural norms for her country of origin.
Thus in both cases, the adoptive parents made errors in adopting African children who were old enough to adapt to their native culture, and thus would require more patience than the fundamental Christian parents who killed them had.
This is what I have objections with: adopting older children who have already adopted the cultural norms of their country of origin.
It's not the children's fault then.
It is the parents', because fundamental Christian values will have a harder time helping a children of a vastly different culture adapt to a strict upbringing where defiance is not tolerated at all.
Sadly though, a few fundamental Christian parents will ignore this and cause harm to a lot of older African adoptees. This will also impact society in the future if that strict upbringing leads to further defiance caused by child abuse.
For that defiance could actually be because the child knows it is wrong to be physically abused.
My focus in this blog entry are parents who physically abuse their children i.e. have gotten angry when their discipline does not work.
Child abuse is the ritual abuse of a child whilst pretending it's for the child's own good. However, it is not for the parents' good or the child's.
In the two cases found in the news story referenced, the two girls who died were adopted African children.
It actually is the inability of the parents to realize that the "defiance" they faced was because the children KNEW the ritual abuse is wrong.
For the parents to continue to abuse their adopted children in this way shows that whatever love they professed for these children was thrown away when they started to ritually abuse them.
"It is impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they do come! It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones." (Luke 17:1-2)
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/07/us/deaths-put-focus-on-pastors-advocacy-of-spanking.html?hp&_r=0
Why Adam Lanza Killed
His mom was a end of days cultist.
If that doesn't lead to neglect and subtle forms of child abuse, then I'm going to shut up about this.
However, there is nothing about the rumoured proposed hospitalization of Adam Lanza. Ergo, that's a rumour and unverified.
So my guess is, Adam Lanza killed not because his mom cared more about kids, but because as a survivalist, she'd inculcated some crazy shit in her son.
Maybe Adam went wacko because Nancy Lanza pissed him off.
He shot up the school because he wasn't treated respectfully there. his autism and Aspergers would have gotten him into special needs, and might have subjected him to the social isolation that precedes a personality disorder.
In short, Adam killed because the public school system is designed to manufacture two types of students: the academics and the "problem children".
For mental illness itself indicates that there is something wrong with society that's supposed to be inclusive but excludes anyone who cannot be controlled.
I fault the medical model of mental illness with its obsession with deficits and pathologies without balancing it with a social model of mental illness.
However, I feel that the Lanza shooting has less to do with mental illness and more to do with America's obsession with the Second Amendment to justify their obsession with guns.
In short, Adam Lanza is trying to show that, in the end, there is something wrong with how the public school system treats the problem child and with how a mother's obsession with guns would warp a child's mind.
Update: 20121226
More information about Adam Lanza's mother: http://www.calgaryherald.com/sports/Adam+Lanza+mother+shared+friendships+kept+home+life+hidden/7708553/story.html
Update: 20130103
Edited the text to mention the models of mental illness and my first attempt to state that mass school killings little to do with mental illness and more to do with how the public education system treats the problem child and how a mother's obsession with guns warmps that child's mind.
When You Tie Shootings to Mental Illness,
http://freethoughtblogs.com/ashleymiller/2012/12/14/when-you-tie-shootings-to-mental-illness/
If that doesn't lead to neglect and subtle forms of child abuse, then I'm going to shut up about this.
However, there is nothing about the rumoured proposed hospitalization of Adam Lanza. Ergo, that's a rumour and unverified.
So my guess is, Adam Lanza killed not because his mom cared more about kids, but because as a survivalist, she'd inculcated some crazy shit in her son.
Maybe Adam went wacko because Nancy Lanza pissed him off.
He shot up the school because he wasn't treated respectfully there. his autism and Aspergers would have gotten him into special needs, and might have subjected him to the social isolation that precedes a personality disorder.
In short, Adam killed because the public school system is designed to manufacture two types of students: the academics and the "problem children".
For mental illness itself indicates that there is something wrong with society that's supposed to be inclusive but excludes anyone who cannot be controlled.
I fault the medical model of mental illness with its obsession with deficits and pathologies without balancing it with a social model of mental illness.
However, I feel that the Lanza shooting has less to do with mental illness and more to do with America's obsession with the Second Amendment to justify their obsession with guns.
In short, Adam Lanza is trying to show that, in the end, there is something wrong with how the public school system treats the problem child and with how a mother's obsession with guns would warp a child's mind.
Update: 20121226
More information about Adam Lanza's mother: http://www.calgaryherald.com/sports/Adam+Lanza+mother+shared+friendships+kept+home+life+hidden/7708553/story.html
Update: 20130103
Edited the text to mention the models of mental illness and my first attempt to state that mass school killings little to do with mental illness and more to do with how the public education system treats the problem child and how a mother's obsession with guns warmps that child's mind.
When You Tie Shootings to Mental Illness,
http://freethoughtblogs.com/ashleymiller/2012/12/14/when-you-tie-shootings-to-mental-illness/
20121130
Could Homosexuality Be Precipitated by Heterosexual Aggression?
Anecdotal evidence also indicates that women associate sexual aggression including the desire to have orgasm with selfishness, and they tend to be more reluctant to seek satisfaction than men due to being raised to associate such aggression with being anathema to being feminine.
This may explain why women, both gay and straight, tend to be more openminded about male homosexuals and condoning latent homosexual behavior in adolescence than men.
IMO the homophobic fallout of the 1920s further emphasized this double standard in the public school system, where it was considered to be sissy to not act like all boys and any boy who was a sissy was bullied to the point of rebelling against heterosexual groupthink.
Am I implying that heterosexual aggression may influence both men and women to choose to become queer?
Yes, because there is evidence that queers of both sexes are victims of child abuse (mainly physical abuse).
This may explain why women, both gay and straight, tend to be more openminded about male homosexuals and condoning latent homosexual behavior in adolescence than men.
IMO the homophobic fallout of the 1920s further emphasized this double standard in the public school system, where it was considered to be sissy to not act like all boys and any boy who was a sissy was bullied to the point of rebelling against heterosexual groupthink.
Am I implying that heterosexual aggression may influence both men and women to choose to become queer?
Yes, because there is evidence that queers of both sexes are victims of child abuse (mainly physical abuse).
Hasidic Jewess Fights Back
On Google Plus, this Jewish women led me to find out that this alone is her battle.
"Though the young woman’s parents had asked her to drop the case as recently as this spring, the victim testified, about 20 members of her family came to show their support in court."
I am certain that her husband supported her decision to help bring closure.
It is a touching story, and one that most people would like to ignore, just as the Hasidic community does to anyone who reports such things to outsiders.
While I do not have a problem with Hasidism, its rules promote social isolation which makes it a ripe hunting ground for sexual predators within the community, as well as increasing the risk for depression due to its rules imposed on the community.
Thankfully, because this young 18-year-old woman is female, there is a ground swell of support both inside and outside the Jewish community.
Hopefully the next male victim of a reb who is a pedophile will come forward, and the advocates against child abuse will rally to his cause, too.
"Though the young woman’s parents had asked her to drop the case as recently as this spring, the victim testified, about 20 members of her family came to show their support in court."
I am certain that her husband supported her decision to help bring closure.
It is a touching story, and one that most people would like to ignore, just as the Hasidic community does to anyone who reports such things to outsiders.
While I do not have a problem with Hasidism, its rules promote social isolation which makes it a ripe hunting ground for sexual predators within the community, as well as increasing the risk for depression due to its rules imposed on the community.
Thankfully, because this young 18-year-old woman is female, there is a ground swell of support both inside and outside the Jewish community.
Hopefully the next male victim of a reb who is a pedophile will come forward, and the advocates against child abuse will rally to his cause, too.
20101230
Sinead O'Connor's article in Washington Post
Child abuse in Ireland's Catholic community is not an Irish problem. It's a Catholic problem. And Pope Benedict's letter of apology is a hollow one.
In response, Sinead O'Connor wrote:
"Irish Catholics are in a dysfunctional relationship with an abusive organization. The pope must take responsibility for the actions of his subordinates. If Catholic priests are abusing children, it is Rome, not Dublin, that must answer for it with a full confession and in a criminal investigation. Until it does, all good Catholics -- even little old ladies who go to church every Sunday, not just protest singers like me whom the Vatican can easily ignore -- should avoid Mass. In Ireland, it is time we separated our God from our religion, and our faith from its alleged leaders."
Indeed, God and faith have little to do with religious organizations such as the Pope and the Church hierarchy, which is a patriarchy run by men without any say from women at all.
This is in stark contrast to the history of Christianity where time and again women of power helped influence Christianity, including Augustine's mother and Constantine the Great's mother, Helena. In the early church, it was normal for rich widows to help the church.
Maybe it's time for rich Irish celebrities like Sinead O'Connor to heal the pain of Eire's shame.
In response, Sinead O'Connor wrote:
"Irish Catholics are in a dysfunctional relationship with an abusive organization. The pope must take responsibility for the actions of his subordinates. If Catholic priests are abusing children, it is Rome, not Dublin, that must answer for it with a full confession and in a criminal investigation. Until it does, all good Catholics -- even little old ladies who go to church every Sunday, not just protest singers like me whom the Vatican can easily ignore -- should avoid Mass. In Ireland, it is time we separated our God from our religion, and our faith from its alleged leaders."
Indeed, God and faith have little to do with religious organizations such as the Pope and the Church hierarchy, which is a patriarchy run by men without any say from women at all.
This is in stark contrast to the history of Christianity where time and again women of power helped influence Christianity, including Augustine's mother and Constantine the Great's mother, Helena. In the early church, it was normal for rich widows to help the church.
Maybe it's time for rich Irish celebrities like Sinead O'Connor to heal the pain of Eire's shame.
20081125
December 6th National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women
On December 6, the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women is observed across Canada, informally known as White Ribbon Day.
This is the anniversary of the 1989 École Polytechnique Massacre, in which fourteen women were singled out for their gender and murdered.
Here are more facts about the perpetrator of the L'ecole Polytechnique Massacre worth remembering:
1.Marc Lépine/Gamil Gharbi frequently saw his father beat his mother.
2. Lepine's mother was French-Canadian.
3. When Lepine/Gharbi entered the classroom, he fired two shots of his low powered small calibre rifle into the ceiling. He then ordered all the men in the room to leave, to which they meekly complied. The young women were then left alone in the classroom with Lepine. He shouted "You're all a bunch of fucking feminists!" and started shooting.
Just consider that last point a while: The men all walked away. They abandoned the women. This was an abdication of the most fundamental value of manhood, to protect the women & children. If, instead of walking out the door, the men had rushed Lapine, throwing books & desks at him, and tackled him to the ground, he would have had time to get off maybe one more shot. And we would be remembering many brave heroes instead of 14 dead women.
So mark December 6 on your calendar as a day of remembrance and action against violence against women.
That allows for Human Rights Day, to call for action for all victims of child abuse!
---
Update:
Years later, when the Dawson College shooter, Kimveer Gill, started his rampage, nobody stopped him on the street even though it was evident he had a gun on him.
The only difference between then and now is that the police were quicker to secure the building and wounded him, only to have him then commit suicide.
Though, in Kimveer's case, it appears to be too many late nights playing online games while suffering insomnia, combined with social isolation, among other things.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kimveer_Gill
---
References:
Marc Lepine: http://members.tripod.com/peterzohrab/marclepi.html
Who Was Gamil Gharbi: http://hallsofmacadamia.blogspot.com/2006/09/who-was-gamil-gharbi.html
December 6 Memories: http://ginnadowler.blogspot.com/2004/12/december-6-memories.htm
20070724
How to Turn A Child Psychotic
Just put him on anti-depressants (paxil), psychostimulants (wellbutrin or adderall or ritalin), and anti-psychotics (haldol).
Then put him into the social welfare system (family services) and bounce him from foster care home to temporary residences for children at risk, when he goes berserk.
Within months he'll be another psychotic kid who is happiest when he's pulling stop signs out of the ground and beating up the care worker.
And the shrinks and social workers will pretend the medication isn't working and up his dose only to cause seizures that look like psychosis.
Hey dumb-asses!
Sedate the kid on clonezepam. Then put him on an atypical anticonvulsant like lamotrigine and ativan at bedtime.
Stop overstimulating his brain with useless anti-psychotics and psychostimulants.
Then put him into the social welfare system (family services) and bounce him from foster care home to temporary residences for children at risk, when he goes berserk.
Within months he'll be another psychotic kid who is happiest when he's pulling stop signs out of the ground and beating up the care worker.
And the shrinks and social workers will pretend the medication isn't working and up his dose only to cause seizures that look like psychosis.
Hey dumb-asses!
Sedate the kid on clonezepam. Then put him on an atypical anticonvulsant like lamotrigine and ativan at bedtime.
Stop overstimulating his brain with useless anti-psychotics and psychostimulants.
20061217
Canada Covers Ass in Gettliffe Debacle
The story behind this human rights debacle:
French woman with dual-citizenship hooks up with anglo boyfriend and has two kids.
The woman then realizes her mate's going to church is not all alright because it is the International Church of Christ which is notorious for attracting child abusers and other people whose religious feelings mask a pesky evil worthy of old Nick himself.
She takes both her kids to France to be safe from the Satanic evil of her now-ex spouse.
Years later she is entrapped by lies and put into prison.
Canadian officials orchestrate human rights violations so that she pleads guilty.
Yet realizing what a mess they made of things, they nix 14 months in prison that her ex and his junta wants for her giving her six months due to the fact that they screwed up.
All this proves that if you belong to a cult and make a whack of money then Canada becomes your bum buddy in an international crime against women and children.
I mean like, a Catholic priest with a sex offence charge against him is allowed to be near these two children of hers!!!!
So, those media reports about Gettliffe don't mean shizit. It's all lies.
None of those reporters did any research about her at all.
And this makes even the media culpable.
French woman with dual-citizenship hooks up with anglo boyfriend and has two kids.
The woman then realizes her mate's going to church is not all alright because it is the International Church of Christ which is notorious for attracting child abusers and other people whose religious feelings mask a pesky evil worthy of old Nick himself.
She takes both her kids to France to be safe from the Satanic evil of her now-ex spouse.
Years later she is entrapped by lies and put into prison.
Canadian officials orchestrate human rights violations so that she pleads guilty.
Yet realizing what a mess they made of things, they nix 14 months in prison that her ex and his junta wants for her giving her six months due to the fact that they screwed up.
All this proves that if you belong to a cult and make a whack of money then Canada becomes your bum buddy in an international crime against women and children.
I mean like, a Catholic priest with a sex offence charge against him is allowed to be near these two children of hers!!!!
So, those media reports about Gettliffe don't mean shizit. It's all lies.
None of those reporters did any research about her at all.
And this makes even the media culpable.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)