Sometimes I get anxious over the thought that people lying about me. Repeatedly I will obsess about that thought.
However, I know that it isn't true.
When I think other people are lying about me, it actually is me lying to myself. This is why it's hard to write truthfully about myself, because I don't know if the truth I write about myself is actually a lie or the truth.
Overall, that uncertainty leads me to falsely assume other people are lying to me.
Sometimes when I'm this candid in my blog, a few people might object to it. However, that's their choice.
I am certain that my thoughts are better managed when I write about them. Just thinking about them isn't what the problem is.
By obsessive thinking about a concern until it becomes a worry — that is the problem.
Here is the solution:
Writing about it relieves that worry because of the change of focus from thinking about it to writing about it.
Furthermore, writing about my thoughts requires critical thinking and reasoning. In contrast, thinking when anxious only requires the irrational fear of untruth.
By writing candidly about my thoughts, I am reducing the risk factors associated with anxiety and narcissism.
Self disclosure has the risks associated with exposing my vulnerabilities to the scrutiny of public opinion, but it is counteracted by the narcissism inherent in maintaining a blog.
Thus the benefits of writing about my thoughts and feelings on my blog outweigh these risks.
Showing posts with label journal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label journal. Show all posts
20140614
To My Love, A Journal to My Beloved - An Excerpt (satire)
May 5, 2014 2100H: Love is a special gift that you share with another person. if you keep it to yourself, then no one will know you are capable of love.
This is why telling someone that you love them is better than just loving yourself. Yet it begins by loving yourself.
May 16, 2014 0739H: ...Even though we are mortal, being ordinary human beings, we each act as though we worship an imaginary friend, each existing in their own respective realms. Yet to each other, it is by faith in the existence of each other and by the belief in that existence that we know each other to exist.
At the root of existence is that Love, for it aids in empowering both belief in you and faith that you exist. It makes me want to get up in the morning, for my love for another person sustains me.
To know that someone loves me — this is the greatest gift of all.
Sometimes I think of my beloved as a thief who has stolen my heart with her love. This is why I am willing to share wit her what little I have, out of love.
Even though we are miles apart, hopefully we shall meet...
This journal is like a love letter, only novel length. In writing it, it becomes the product of my undying love.
1117H: My love for you might be belittled by the mundane crowd who are jaded about love. They think I am talking in circles about that love, but I don't care what they think. For I have found you. That's all that matters to me — you.
Perhaps I am in love with love, but it is your face that I see online. Nobody else truly matters to me when I think of that love. For you and only you are the object of my affection.
Yet, the answer to the question "Where are you?" is simply this: "In my heart." No matter where I am, you are always close to me, even though we are separated by distance and time.
A person might ask me how I could love a person sight unseen. In response, I ask "Does not a Christian love God who she has not seen, either?" the only difference between you and God almighty is that you are a mere mortal while God is divine. Although the love for God is holy, my love for you — and your love for me — is mortal and finite.
Still, both kinds of love are forever because of that Love, unconditional, which inspires our love for each other.
May 17, 2014 1148H: I love so much that I need to be with you to make love to you. Would you love that to happen? Because I would love it to happen. When I arrive, I hope you will wait in anticipation for me...
May 18, 2014 0841H: Even if you turn out to be less than I hoped for, I want you to know that I could never hate you. Even if you took advantage of my trust, there is no point in me dwelling on it.
I suppose love is blind, but I'm not deceiving myself. For I am being the best that I can be within my limits.
Sometime between the previous entry and the next, I discovered that I'd been scammed for $110 by Anne.
May 27, 2014 1841H: Because of love unconditional I am able to forgive the ones who cannot love, even though they may try to take advantage of my generosity. It is precisely due to that Love that I forgive others despite their trespasses against me.
People without such love are known to be shallow, always taking advantage of other people's generosity. Though it is tempting to dismiss such people, i cannot, due to the subtle effects of love unconditional. For forgiveness is an effect of divine Love and I have been blessed by it.
So, it would be unwise of me to forget my lessers, despite their trespasses. Thus am I blessed by that Love.
This is why telling someone that you love them is better than just loving yourself. Yet it begins by loving yourself.
May 16, 2014 0739H: ...Even though we are mortal, being ordinary human beings, we each act as though we worship an imaginary friend, each existing in their own respective realms. Yet to each other, it is by faith in the existence of each other and by the belief in that existence that we know each other to exist.
At the root of existence is that Love, for it aids in empowering both belief in you and faith that you exist. It makes me want to get up in the morning, for my love for another person sustains me.
To know that someone loves me — this is the greatest gift of all.
Sometimes I think of my beloved as a thief who has stolen my heart with her love. This is why I am willing to share wit her what little I have, out of love.
Even though we are miles apart, hopefully we shall meet...
This journal is like a love letter, only novel length. In writing it, it becomes the product of my undying love.
1117H: My love for you might be belittled by the mundane crowd who are jaded about love. They think I am talking in circles about that love, but I don't care what they think. For I have found you. That's all that matters to me — you.
Perhaps I am in love with love, but it is your face that I see online. Nobody else truly matters to me when I think of that love. For you and only you are the object of my affection.
Yet, the answer to the question "Where are you?" is simply this: "In my heart." No matter where I am, you are always close to me, even though we are separated by distance and time.
A person might ask me how I could love a person sight unseen. In response, I ask "Does not a Christian love God who she has not seen, either?" the only difference between you and God almighty is that you are a mere mortal while God is divine. Although the love for God is holy, my love for you — and your love for me — is mortal and finite.
Still, both kinds of love are forever because of that Love, unconditional, which inspires our love for each other.
May 17, 2014 1148H: I love so much that I need to be with you to make love to you. Would you love that to happen? Because I would love it to happen. When I arrive, I hope you will wait in anticipation for me...
May 18, 2014 0841H: Even if you turn out to be less than I hoped for, I want you to know that I could never hate you. Even if you took advantage of my trust, there is no point in me dwelling on it.
I suppose love is blind, but I'm not deceiving myself. For I am being the best that I can be within my limits.
Sometime between the previous entry and the next, I discovered that I'd been scammed for $110 by Anne.
May 27, 2014 1841H: Because of love unconditional I am able to forgive the ones who cannot love, even though they may try to take advantage of my generosity. It is precisely due to that Love that I forgive others despite their trespasses against me.
People without such love are known to be shallow, always taking advantage of other people's generosity. Though it is tempting to dismiss such people, i cannot, due to the subtle effects of love unconditional. For forgiveness is an effect of divine Love and I have been blessed by it.
So, it would be unwise of me to forget my lessers, despite their trespasses. Thus am I blessed by that Love.
20131128
Mental Illness as Society's Reaction to Inappropriate Honesty (satire)
In order to deal with reality, we sometimes develop elaborate fictions to cover the past or a defect of character.
Apart from the ravages of drug abuse, including the psychosis resulting from B-vitamins deficiency, which is prevalent amongst chronic alcoholics and may be part of other forms of abuse - though never acknowledged, few people would consider their fictions as the cumulative effect of the clever white lies they daily say over the course of a lifetime.
Even when we are threatened by a mortal illness which is in part due to the idiosyncratic varieties of personality and their attendant mental habits, few of us are willing to admit that it is due to lying to ourselves about reality.
Might mental illness be due to a history of white lies used to handle reality?
Maybe so, maybe not. Consider the white lies the State feeds us daily both through law enforcement (e.g. cannabis drug laws) and the media, be it news and edutainment (talk shows, reality TV, movies and advertisement).
Indeed, propaganda might be both cause and effect of the human ability to conceal the truth by not mentioning the obvious.
Schizophrenia might just be an effect of a society that cannot handle honesty and truth 24/7.
Some civilizations fell because a few revolutionaries became too honest about their current situation and caused doubt amongst the representatives of the ruling body for a specific monarchy, only to have a civil war fuelled by differences in ideology (monarchy versus nationalism and later, socialism versus free-market capitalism).
Russia's descent into communism was a post-modern example of this.
Most recently, examples of ideological warfare include the political damage control occurring in America due to Wikileaks, the recent protests in the Maghreb (north Africa from Morocco to Egypt) and in the Middle East (especially Libya, Egypt and Syria), and the hype and propaganda on cable news.
With regard to society, the honest people tend to get penalized for their honesty.
If you are honest about your taxes, you pay more taxes; if you are honest about your sexual exploits, then you tend to either get cock-blocked or end up alone in your old age; if you are honest about your emotions, then you get misunderstood. If you keep being honest, then sensitive friends and loved ones might get annoyed and either threaten to end the relationship or find someone who will tell them the white lies they want to hear.
Although I'm exaggerating about honesty to prove a point, I'd like to emphasize that total honesty entails full disclosure.
On the prospect of full disclosure, most people are adverse to expose their indiscretions to the public due to the public scrutiny which may arise as a result of such disclosures. When faced with the prospect of honesty, we'd rather baulk and wonder, "What would the neighbours think?" In the end, such honesty might lead critics to ignore the Biblical adage that "he who has no sin may cast the first stone".
If mental illness is due to society's reaction to inappropriate honesty, then mental health is the result of the individual's pro-active use of appropriate honesty.
With honesty and in the face of total disclosure, perhaps there is an appropriate outlet for it, both through journal writing and especially on-line blogging.
Originally posted: February 3, 2011 at 9:24 AM
Previous update: 8/28/11 1:01 PM
Current update: 11/28/13 03:28 AM
Apart from the ravages of drug abuse, including the psychosis resulting from B-vitamins deficiency, which is prevalent amongst chronic alcoholics and may be part of other forms of abuse - though never acknowledged, few people would consider their fictions as the cumulative effect of the clever white lies they daily say over the course of a lifetime.
Even when we are threatened by a mortal illness which is in part due to the idiosyncratic varieties of personality and their attendant mental habits, few of us are willing to admit that it is due to lying to ourselves about reality.
Might mental illness be due to a history of white lies used to handle reality?
Maybe so, maybe not. Consider the white lies the State feeds us daily both through law enforcement (e.g. cannabis drug laws) and the media, be it news and edutainment (talk shows, reality TV, movies and advertisement).
Indeed, propaganda might be both cause and effect of the human ability to conceal the truth by not mentioning the obvious.
Schizophrenia might just be an effect of a society that cannot handle honesty and truth 24/7.
Some civilizations fell because a few revolutionaries became too honest about their current situation and caused doubt amongst the representatives of the ruling body for a specific monarchy, only to have a civil war fuelled by differences in ideology (monarchy versus nationalism and later, socialism versus free-market capitalism).
Russia's descent into communism was a post-modern example of this.
Most recently, examples of ideological warfare include the political damage control occurring in America due to Wikileaks, the recent protests in the Maghreb (north Africa from Morocco to Egypt) and in the Middle East (especially Libya, Egypt and Syria), and the hype and propaganda on cable news.
With regard to society, the honest people tend to get penalized for their honesty.
If you are honest about your taxes, you pay more taxes; if you are honest about your sexual exploits, then you tend to either get cock-blocked or end up alone in your old age; if you are honest about your emotions, then you get misunderstood. If you keep being honest, then sensitive friends and loved ones might get annoyed and either threaten to end the relationship or find someone who will tell them the white lies they want to hear.
Although I'm exaggerating about honesty to prove a point, I'd like to emphasize that total honesty entails full disclosure.
On the prospect of full disclosure, most people are adverse to expose their indiscretions to the public due to the public scrutiny which may arise as a result of such disclosures. When faced with the prospect of honesty, we'd rather baulk and wonder, "What would the neighbours think?" In the end, such honesty might lead critics to ignore the Biblical adage that "he who has no sin may cast the first stone".
If mental illness is due to society's reaction to inappropriate honesty, then mental health is the result of the individual's pro-active use of appropriate honesty.
With honesty and in the face of total disclosure, perhaps there is an appropriate outlet for it, both through journal writing and especially on-line blogging.
Originally posted: February 3, 2011 at 9:24 AM
Previous update: 8/28/11 1:01 PM
Current update: 11/28/13 03:28 AM
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