in each person's heart, true love exists. Yet such love is not based on the myth that someone out there is The One.
Hidden by the idealism of romantic love is the heartache of ego-delusion, which often requires ignorance to sustain its agenda.
Often layers of trust need to be established for things to work out. Thus the romantic who trusts first is often betrayed.
True love must be cultivated by cutting through the myths of romantic love and replacing them with truth, even when such truths may cause romance to flee.
Let it flee, for in the place of romance, truth is the beginning of trust. This is why it is called true love.
Originally posted: June 2, 2013 08:10 AM
Showing posts with label trust. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trust. Show all posts
20140105
20101213
Rethinking social networking & social isolation
Online social networking barely meets the challenges of social isolation - mainly because no matter how long I have been in contact with a person online, if I am socially isolated, then the risks of social networking include trust (who do I trust?) and self-disclosure.
Usually the rule-of-thumb here is to trust only persons you know in real life. For a socially isolated person such as I, the number of people I know who I trust in real life is at minimum of 6 or less people.
Given that most of the friends on your online social network (internet messengers such as MSN Messenger and Yahoo Chat) are strangers who you will never meet, the best practice is to keep your self-disclosures to a minimum with them and thus follow a "don't ask, don't tell" rule i.e. unless a person asks, you don't disclose personal information.
Personal information includes any information which identifies me such as first name, last name, address, phone number, date of birth, bank account number, etc.
Likewise, I make it a rule not to disclose my personal information unless I totally trust that person. If anyone asks, and I don't trust them, then I reserve the right to not disclose such information.
If you do give a deeper self-disclosure online, then the rule is to be pro-active if and when other strangers online who don't know you that well try to use that information to bully, harass, insult and intimidate you. This includes avoidance of revenge even when the insults lead you to focus on the negative rather than the positive.
Rather than revenge, the proper response is silence. Since that person does not know you and is trying harass you, by not responding, you do not look like someone who is reacting to what he or she divulges about you. Nothing stops an internet bully like silence.
Ultimately I am responsible for the amount of self-disclosure I make online.
Returning to online social networking, social isolation may lead to embarrassing side effects, such as being too forward in online social networking services. The counteraction to this forwardness is to limit my use of social network services.
In my case, I have found that most of my embarrassing moments in social networking services has occurred when I am extremely fatigued i.e. the result of inadequate rest. It is remedied by going to sleep at or around midnight rather than 3 AM.
Usually the rule-of-thumb here is to trust only persons you know in real life. For a socially isolated person such as I, the number of people I know who I trust in real life is at minimum of 6 or less people.
Given that most of the friends on your online social network (internet messengers such as MSN Messenger and Yahoo Chat) are strangers who you will never meet, the best practice is to keep your self-disclosures to a minimum with them and thus follow a "don't ask, don't tell" rule i.e. unless a person asks, you don't disclose personal information.
Personal information includes any information which identifies me such as first name, last name, address, phone number, date of birth, bank account number, etc.
Likewise, I make it a rule not to disclose my personal information unless I totally trust that person. If anyone asks, and I don't trust them, then I reserve the right to not disclose such information.
If you do give a deeper self-disclosure online, then the rule is to be pro-active if and when other strangers online who don't know you that well try to use that information to bully, harass, insult and intimidate you. This includes avoidance of revenge even when the insults lead you to focus on the negative rather than the positive.
Rather than revenge, the proper response is silence. Since that person does not know you and is trying harass you, by not responding, you do not look like someone who is reacting to what he or she divulges about you. Nothing stops an internet bully like silence.
Ultimately I am responsible for the amount of self-disclosure I make online.
Returning to online social networking, social isolation may lead to embarrassing side effects, such as being too forward in online social networking services. The counteraction to this forwardness is to limit my use of social network services.
In my case, I have found that most of my embarrassing moments in social networking services has occurred when I am extremely fatigued i.e. the result of inadequate rest. It is remedied by going to sleep at or around midnight rather than 3 AM.
20100625
Tact and Trust on the Internet: Can We Be Honest on the 'net?
Tact consists of being able to say a white lie without regret once in a while, and mainly to not reply when honesty would ruin group harmony.
Indeed, tact proves that situation ethics (appropriateness depends on the situation) is consistently applied in real life practice while everyone pretends to practice a general moral code of appropriateness.
IMHO in private, tact is usually abandoned in the intimacy of friendship due to investment of trust.
In public, tact is practiced when the situation calls for it (most of the time).
For it would be inappropriate to be bluntly honest with people in public.
The Internet is different, in that there is no intimacy in cyberspace. So blunt honesty may only used between real life friends, and tact is a given because anonymity does not build trust. Rather, trust only occurs once each party builds a one-on-one relationship in real-life.
Anonymity is why we hate trolls, and treat helpful advice from others as overstepping boundaries on-line.
At the root of this is the concept of earning trust, which is a real life behavior that does not always work on-line.
Those courageous on-line users who buck the trend and offer trust now do so hoping that the other party will honor that trust. Anyone who violates this accord becomes untrustworthy, and revenge is dependent on the nature of the one whose trust is violated.
This explains banning of IP numbers, Facebook disabled accounts and other on-line account hijacks.
YMMV
Indeed, tact proves that situation ethics (appropriateness depends on the situation) is consistently applied in real life practice while everyone pretends to practice a general moral code of appropriateness.
IMHO in private, tact is usually abandoned in the intimacy of friendship due to investment of trust.
In public, tact is practiced when the situation calls for it (most of the time).
For it would be inappropriate to be bluntly honest with people in public.
The Internet is different, in that there is no intimacy in cyberspace. So blunt honesty may only used between real life friends, and tact is a given because anonymity does not build trust. Rather, trust only occurs once each party builds a one-on-one relationship in real-life.
Anonymity is why we hate trolls, and treat helpful advice from others as overstepping boundaries on-line.
At the root of this is the concept of earning trust, which is a real life behavior that does not always work on-line.
Those courageous on-line users who buck the trend and offer trust now do so hoping that the other party will honor that trust. Anyone who violates this accord becomes untrustworthy, and revenge is dependent on the nature of the one whose trust is violated.
This explains banning of IP numbers, Facebook disabled accounts and other on-line account hijacks.
YMMV
20070608
Unconditional Love Unacceptable to Women With Hidden Depressive Disorders
Unconditional love scares a lot of women because of lack of trust of a man who practices it.
Such women may have low oxytocin levels. Overall though, they also may have higher levels of dynorphin, and consequently suffer a depressive disorder which may be undiagnosed.
Thus it would be wise to offer such women unconditional love because for them, sex will only provide temporary relief for their problem. In contrast, unconditional love is able to provide for the practitioner, trust in others, and faith in them.
Indeed, the only thing I can do for such women is to emphasize by action and word that I believe in them.
As well, my conduct must always be platonic and respectful.
Such women may have low oxytocin levels. Overall though, they also may have higher levels of dynorphin, and consequently suffer a depressive disorder which may be undiagnosed.
Thus it would be wise to offer such women unconditional love because for them, sex will only provide temporary relief for their problem. In contrast, unconditional love is able to provide for the practitioner, trust in others, and faith in them.
Indeed, the only thing I can do for such women is to emphasize by action and word that I believe in them.
As well, my conduct must always be platonic and respectful.
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