In public I sometimes behave like a socially inept 12-year-old. Some women who observe me get anxious, and ignore me. Other women try to maintain oblivious serenity. A few of them are disgusted with my "attitude."
Then I go home, sleep less than six hours a night, and is a willing captive of the manic libido!
Why? Because it beats the sadness inherent in depression, the anxiety about my lack of a sexual relationship.
Indeed, I especially loathe the social isolation that consistently befalls me after getting 6-10 hours of "normal" sleep at night.
For me, life isn't fulfilling because no woman is willing to cross the threshold and get to know me intimately.
Do I have to plan the seeds of passion into her mind to inflame her heart so that she crosses the line which separates us? I think not: no woman in her right mind wants to cross that boundary because she is safe living her life on her own terms without me.
She does not wish to share a life together with me for the same reason that I used to enjoy sleeping until noon: its safety socially isolates each of us from being intimate lest all hell break loose. This is also why women fear having mad sex without regret, because they loathe casual sex for its lack of a long-term relationship.
To most women, sex and intimacy is tied to a relationship which leads to a family. Thus sex for them is a means to an end: having children and mainly, companionship with a suitable lover and perhap a husband.
For men, sex is about lowering the blood pressure and rewarding their mate for picking them to protect them from other men. Women however call this reason for sex "selfish", ignoring the simple fact that their family-mindedness may be a mind game that they create for themselves to justify enjoying sex to the fullest.
In my humble opinion, women think about sex more often than men, but convince their men that their selfish sex is sexist whilst hold family-mindedness as the highest of human virtues. This is the work of the libido, not a rational mind.
For love is tied to our emotions and feelings about sex and relationships. They cannot help but be.
Indeed, libido is both the motivator of our feelings and emotions to use said feelings to establish emotional ties so that the mind does not turn to the dark side (depression) and cause a person to become socially isolated from family, friends and loved ones.
We fear loneliness so much that we ignore the fact that we spend most of our lives alone, shaking off the stress caused by the resulting anxieties.
This is why my sex activity is all in my head, while my hand is beating a tattoo to the south! >:)
Original post: September 1, 2011 at 6:27 PM
Reference:
Hypersexuality: http://bipolar.about.com/cs/hypersex/a/aa_hypersex.htm
Showing posts with label fantasy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fantasy. Show all posts
20100808
Lands Edge: A Story Summary
The Boulder
The Boulder is a massive glacial boulder that marks the lair of the dragon of Lands Edge in the outskirts of the Highlands.
Kiryn is the heroine of Lands Edge. She is the daughter of Gylan, the late Highland king who was killed by the Highland dragon in retribution for not maintaining the ancient rituals of worship that summon up the dragon that guard the energies that channel through it to keep the lands fertile and free of death and pestilence.
Dragons here are actually shapeshifters, whose original form was that of a mortal human who were once mages but have been transformed by the primordial energies of the earth into their current form. They can maintain their human form only after doing battle with a dragonslayer, the last one dying in Lands Edge.
After witnessing her father's death, and fearing for her life because she never was taught the art of dragon fighting, Kiryn travels to the last place on her world where she may find the last of the dragonslayers, a friend of her father's.
She passes the Boulder, unaware of the dragon's presence.
Lands Edge Inn is a tavern in the lowland many leagues from the Highland plateau that Kiryn grow up in.
Kiryn finds the dragonslayer, only to be told he no longer trains and is a landowner like her father. She ignores the slight, since the dragonslayer is more like the benevolent aristocratic landlord than a true king who rules over a vast domain.
She tries to shame the dragonslayer into training her, so that she may confront the dragon of Land Edge and learn how to appease the dragon now occupying her former castle on the Highland.
The dragonslayer teaches her fighting techniques, yet never did learn the reason why a dragonslayer fight dragons. This is never revealed in the story.
Two Stones
After training hard, the two humans unleash psychic energy induced by ritual combat which awakens the dragon below.
Alarmed and already sensing the presence of its brother dragon on the Highlands, it knows it must act swiftly to maintain the balance over death and pestilence.
It reaches the surface of its home world at the Two Stones, the place of its battle with the dragonslayer's father, who died due to his slow reaction. The smaller of the Two Stones is a man-sized chip that fell from the Boulder when the dragon's deadly blow missed the dead man.
Also, previously dragon's tears are mentioned and they are the most valuable gems, the dragon's treasure.
A battle ensues, which ends when Kiryn, awakened to the dragon's mind, stops fighting and listens to reason.
Finally, the dragon uses the energy of battle to shapeshift to human form and instructs Kiryn on what must be done to regain her home in the Highlands. This is not clear in the story.
What is clear is that dragons need alcohol to be tamed.
Kiryn returns home and bribes the dragon there to be her husband Draco. Making her his betrothed, deflowering her causes Draco to be bound to her, unable to shapeshift unless she releases him from her spell.
The dragon cult is promoted by Draco in far off lands.
This marks a departure from mages who guard one kingdom or domain. He extracts fealty by warning the fiefdom that if they do not give tribute, a dragon will come out of the land to punish them. Sometimes a fiefdom will disobey him yet he cannot punish them in human form.
So he asks her to release him from the spell.
She replies that their son will do that for them.
Soon she gives birth to a dragon that her magick cannot bind to human form. She complains to her husband, who tells her that he needs to lie in wait for a virgin queen to bribe him with alcohol after a battle.
They send the son to kill the rebel lord of one fiefdom, and tell the people to send a young woman to be raised as warrior who knows the way of the sword and the queen's magick.
The fiefdom picks an orphaned girl.
The tradition of dragon sons conquering fiefdoms in exchange for an orphaned girl to be raised as warrior-mage is established. This establishes a lineage of fiefdoms, since the next fiefdom is conquered by Draco's grandson. Yet Kiryn's magick can give both her and Draco long lives.
Once the dragon lineage is established and no petty lords exist to oppress their own fiefdoms, both she and Draco retire to Lands End.
From time to time Draco would play with the Boulder dragon, staging mock battles for his queen's amusement.
In time Kiryn dies and is buried at her ancestral estate in the Highlands. Draco, freed of the spell cast by his mate, reverts to dragon form.
Draco and the dragon at Land's Edge join forces to prevent the likes of men from ruining the world through corruption.
They use magick to create worms that fly off to find places on the earth in need of protection. Nothing is mentioned of the Highland lineage.
The Boulder is a massive glacial boulder that marks the lair of the dragon of Lands Edge in the outskirts of the Highlands.
Kiryn is the heroine of Lands Edge. She is the daughter of Gylan, the late Highland king who was killed by the Highland dragon in retribution for not maintaining the ancient rituals of worship that summon up the dragon that guard the energies that channel through it to keep the lands fertile and free of death and pestilence.
Dragons here are actually shapeshifters, whose original form was that of a mortal human who were once mages but have been transformed by the primordial energies of the earth into their current form. They can maintain their human form only after doing battle with a dragonslayer, the last one dying in Lands Edge.
After witnessing her father's death, and fearing for her life because she never was taught the art of dragon fighting, Kiryn travels to the last place on her world where she may find the last of the dragonslayers, a friend of her father's.
She passes the Boulder, unaware of the dragon's presence.
Lands Edge Inn is a tavern in the lowland many leagues from the Highland plateau that Kiryn grow up in.
Kiryn finds the dragonslayer, only to be told he no longer trains and is a landowner like her father. She ignores the slight, since the dragonslayer is more like the benevolent aristocratic landlord than a true king who rules over a vast domain.
She tries to shame the dragonslayer into training her, so that she may confront the dragon of Land Edge and learn how to appease the dragon now occupying her former castle on the Highland.
The dragonslayer teaches her fighting techniques, yet never did learn the reason why a dragonslayer fight dragons. This is never revealed in the story.
Two Stones
After training hard, the two humans unleash psychic energy induced by ritual combat which awakens the dragon below.
Alarmed and already sensing the presence of its brother dragon on the Highlands, it knows it must act swiftly to maintain the balance over death and pestilence.
It reaches the surface of its home world at the Two Stones, the place of its battle with the dragonslayer's father, who died due to his slow reaction. The smaller of the Two Stones is a man-sized chip that fell from the Boulder when the dragon's deadly blow missed the dead man.
Also, previously dragon's tears are mentioned and they are the most valuable gems, the dragon's treasure.
A battle ensues, which ends when Kiryn, awakened to the dragon's mind, stops fighting and listens to reason.
Finally, the dragon uses the energy of battle to shapeshift to human form and instructs Kiryn on what must be done to regain her home in the Highlands. This is not clear in the story.
What is clear is that dragons need alcohol to be tamed.
Kiryn returns home and bribes the dragon there to be her husband Draco. Making her his betrothed, deflowering her causes Draco to be bound to her, unable to shapeshift unless she releases him from her spell.
The dragon cult is promoted by Draco in far off lands.
This marks a departure from mages who guard one kingdom or domain. He extracts fealty by warning the fiefdom that if they do not give tribute, a dragon will come out of the land to punish them. Sometimes a fiefdom will disobey him yet he cannot punish them in human form.
So he asks her to release him from the spell.
She replies that their son will do that for them.
Soon she gives birth to a dragon that her magick cannot bind to human form. She complains to her husband, who tells her that he needs to lie in wait for a virgin queen to bribe him with alcohol after a battle.
They send the son to kill the rebel lord of one fiefdom, and tell the people to send a young woman to be raised as warrior who knows the way of the sword and the queen's magick.
The fiefdom picks an orphaned girl.
The tradition of dragon sons conquering fiefdoms in exchange for an orphaned girl to be raised as warrior-mage is established. This establishes a lineage of fiefdoms, since the next fiefdom is conquered by Draco's grandson. Yet Kiryn's magick can give both her and Draco long lives.
Once the dragon lineage is established and no petty lords exist to oppress their own fiefdoms, both she and Draco retire to Lands End.
From time to time Draco would play with the Boulder dragon, staging mock battles for his queen's amusement.
In time Kiryn dies and is buried at her ancestral estate in the Highlands. Draco, freed of the spell cast by his mate, reverts to dragon form.
Draco and the dragon at Land's Edge join forces to prevent the likes of men from ruining the world through corruption.
They use magick to create worms that fly off to find places on the earth in need of protection. Nothing is mentioned of the Highland lineage.
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