This one is about relationships and sexual health and its positive effect on mind, body and soul

Recovery is a continuing process.

Even in the most trying time, I tell myself, "This too shall pass."

Then when it gets too rough, I read inspirational material, be it AA or spiritual, and meditate or pray until the memories are done.

For myself I think my anxieties are the result of existential fear and of dilemmas due to regression and cognitive distortions, both of which elicit a fear reaction which may become an anxiety.

When neither medication nor sleep settles my mind, the one pacifier is a last resort to brings respite: an orgasm! :p

Afterwards, I reflect on when I first had one and remember that no one had any idea what I was up to, and were mystified, being children too.

Today I can see of my history clearly, and realize that my habit of masturbation has actually left self-will in charge. I barely matured as for as socialization goes, to the point where I could trust a loved one intimately. Perhaps it's partly due to ageing.

If I suppressed desire rather than truly sublimated it, then I am sure that my mental health would suffer for it. I feel that the pleasure arising from such a wonderful act as making love, for me, was a way to escape the pain of growing up different from other children.

My mTBIs left me with the feeling that my feelings and emotions were to be labelled by others in order for me to validate them and make them mind. Yet such childish dependency on another to validate my feeling left me relying on others for clues about what I was feeling.

I am thankful for this insight, but also realize that the Christian path would put too much pressure on me to conform as well as place tests on me to see if I am socialized enough to conquer self-will and sublimate desire.

Yet if I quit Freedom Session then I place pressure on myself in the form of guilt over not following through after inventing money, time, and effort. So I will continue with it, but keep participation in church Services open in case I am inspire to come and see what it's about.

Even so, my sexual health will be at maintenance level until I am ready to expand my horizons regarding developing a love interest whom I would eventually love and trust enough to share an couple orgasms with. However, this is fourth on my list after 1) work, 2) maintaining current friendships, and 3) keeping ties with family.

It's not a big deal, despite all my fantasies of finding a mate, which tends to not be detailed regarding grow to show that love and create a bond which allows us to trust each other. It comes through experiencing positive moments which satisfied the higher needs necessary to resulting the ongoing process of self-actualization.

This special moment was shared in an online forum and I felt no shame over the act.

So I am sure I have either matured or, most likely, my feelings may be blunted by lack of sleep and resulting fatigue.

Laughter The Strongest Medicine on the Planet (humor)

"Laughter is one of the strongest medicines on the planet... If it's strong enough to kill an orgasm, surely it's strong enough to kill cancer." -- Lotus Weinstock

This is unauthorized memorial and remembrance dedicated to Lotus. It is based on my experiences watching two videos on Youtube, the first by Lotus and the second by her daughter, Lili, as well as reading Rob Weide's eulogy of her at his Duck Production website.

Fame for a comedian is like a degree to a doctor," Lotus would say. "You can't practice without it."

As a humorist, Lotus has the funny yet graceful humor, which tickles my funny bone. Her most funniest shtick was "How to Use Body Signals a Man Can't Resist". It was so funny that it endeared me to her.

As a humanist, she was willing to help out complete strangers, often homeless people, some of whom stole from her due to their own issues. Asked when she would stop to helping people who might steal from her, Lotus replied, "Until they don't need to steal anymore."

Later in life, Lotus remarked, "I used to want to save the world. Now I just want to leave the room with some dignity." Indeed, she lived in dignity, and her comedy acts treated others with dignity.

When a well-meaning deranged fan of hers wrote a threatening letter to Joan Rivers in response to Rivers declining to write a forward for Lotus' biography, only to have a bumbling private investigator morph her friend into a "drugged-out roommate" and incriminate her, just so Joan was getting her money's worth.

In actuality, Lotus was innocent of any wrong-doing and her friend was anything but a drug user.

Thanks, Lotus, your love lives on in the many lives you touched, through your caring towards strangers living in abject conditions, and through your comedy acts courtesy of Youtube.

"When I get to heaven's gate
and my life is reviewed,
I know that my saving grace
will be the love I have for you."

Lotus Weinstock, RIP 1943-1997

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Reference:
A Lotus By Any Other Name: http://www.duckprods.com/weide/lotusremembrance.html
The Love I Have For You Playlist: http://www.youtube.com/user/sageb1#grid/user/13A28030411363DA
How to Use Body Signals A Man Can't Resist: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXTDSGv4J8w
Lotus Weinstock: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3mI6AfstQM
Poetry in Motion LA 10-23-90 Lotus Weinstock: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BheUm_YiL0k

The Cheapest Form of Anti-Depressant is Censored

If I censor my self, a bit of me withers away. My joy becomes false, and my happiness a delusion.

Such denial will only kill all joy and make happiness a fleeting memory.

In this kind of environment, selflessness seems close at hand, only to show the roughness of selfishness underneath.

Thus is censorship a dread oppression.

Masturbation is not a mortal sin, for its climax, the orgasm, is the world's cheapest anti-depressant.

The only reason for sexual censorship and other forms of oppression is to render people mad so that hospitals and pharmaceutical companies can profit from their misery.

Indeed, censorship is the indirect cause of immorality and perversions and both the cause and effect of certain forms of psychiatric disorders.

Global Orgasm Day

Have you had an orgasm for world peace yet? I have!

Evil Depends on Circumstances

Since good and evil depends on the circumstances, the following is true to me:

If one believes that a medical condition allows one to commit an act which violates a precept without harming others, then it is a necessary evil.

A good example is the fact that an orgasm for a male prevents and/or delays the onset prostrate cancer.

Since the easiest way to have an orgasm for a man is to masturbate, then the sexual "sin" is forgiveable due to medical expediency.

However, one should not pretend that the sexual act outside of marriage is condoned by confusing masturbation with coitus.

While the person who masturbates uses sexual fantasies which may involve sexual misconduct, because it is a mind-only delusion necessary to prevent future suffering, one won't go to Avici Hell for such a transgression.

But it is immoral to fantasize about seduction of bodhisattvas, since that could harm one's rebirth in such a way as to condemn him or her to the most difficult of births, that of a human being.