My Ideal Woman (satire)

Here is the closest image of what my ideal woman looks like. I apologize that only how she looks from behind is available, but it is doubtful that this woman would find my idealizing of her to be appropriate.

It might even be rude to have taken this photograph without her consent.

However, with her anonymity almost guaranteed, no one can closely identify her. Indeed, this is why I went to the back of the line of that long queue for the #49 Metrotown bus the other day.

It is obvious then that I like my women thick, for this lady is about 5'8 or taller, and weighs over 140 pounds. She isn't Caucasian, yet I feel comfortable with a woman who isn't Asian.

Even so, my taste in women is based on mutual attraction in an era where most women are much more picky than they were 40 years ago.

That is why I decided to convert to the Church of Jesus Christ: even though I may veer towards liberalism, I am at heart a conservative fool when it comes to love. That is why I emailed my ex-girlfriend. The change from liberalism to moderate conservatism is better on the long run.

And yet, I would rather idealize the ideal woman than pursue anyone, mainly because I fall into one of two categories: "not her type" and "the friend list."

Even that best friend on Vancouver Island, in Victoria has categorized me as "not her type" and most definitely I am on her "friend list". As for myself, I have recently spoken to her, and determined that - like me - she is single.

When I think about her I remember a moment more than two years ago when she hugged me really tight. She could do that because she knows I will not push things.

For my intentions must always remain pure with a best friend. Besides, the sexual fantasy of "what might be" is adultery of the heart.

Yet unrequited love is splendid in inspiring me to be benevolent in my intent and even generous in loving-kindness. For sex would surely ruin a good friendship that has endured for so long.

Although we are comfortable talking about our sexual experiences, the very thought of hooking up would only complicate our friendship. It is this friendship that endures all the trials and tribulations of my love life.

Despite knowing this to be true, I still wish to declare my undying love for her to this dear friend. As long as I tell her that there is no expectation of something more, it still is worth telling her how much I truly care for her.

Although the woman in the picture is my ideal woman, I still carry a torch for my best female friend (BFF).

Still it has to remain unrequited, because she has made it clear that I am not her type, and I am fine with that.

Musing on Relatonships and Unconditional Love

What if You went to a club and met someone you clicked with, and s/he traded numbers with you?

If s/he called you, then you'd be sure to arrange a date because you two got along at the club.

Yet I'm going to call people on this fantasy because often what people have in common at clubs is drink and the prospect of finding someone you like combined with drink fools a person into thinking "s/he is the One."

Sober, people don't act like they do when they are inebriated. This is because a stone cold sober person is inhibited from acting uninhibited. It's also why a woman who received a call from someone they met at a club will usually turn down a date from a man with whom she exchanged numbers.

As well, she doesn't even remember the guy. This is because at a club, her girl friends come first and she is just out to have fun, not hook up.

A woman has to have a strong attraction to a guy in order to accept a date after they have met at a social event in a dark club with loud music and alcohol.

Often too, the guy will have said or done something that she would remember which makes her instinctively put him on the guy friend list.

As well, she make have a personal issue which she has yet to recover from which makes her unable to accept a date with just any guy.

Here is where a guy has to empathize with her in such a fashion as to share briefly that core issue, providing enough details for him to sympathize with her. A woman knows when a guy is empathetic because she'll share her life story with him, trusting him not to share her personal life with outsiders.

So the common ground will actually be trust. A man who can keep the secrets the woman tells him is a good confident. Confidential information is usually shared by a woman to test the guy. If he keeps her secrets safe, then he'll end up on her BFF list, which is rare because usually it is occupied by a large number of woman friends in her social and especially personal life.

A man should never inquire further into her personal life, just to fish for confirmation of "facts" found during his personal research.

Believe me that a man will do personal research because of the fallacy that his fact-finding mission will win her heart. It most often will not. For a woman would feel less trust for a man who pesters her in order to verify her personal history. It is also a breach of trust to do such a thing to a woman.

Instead, a man should just treat a woman he likes a lot with respect by allowing her to remain comfortable sharing her personal life with him because she trust him to keep secrets.

Even when a man thinks a woman is the One because she trusts him to respect her privacy, he ought to respect her privacy by not inquiring further mainly because she is the one capable of dealing with her personal issues, not him.

My intent in writing this blog is to rationalize my interest in a woman I recently met in such a way as to gain her respect. Most of this post is my way of telling myself that she isn't the One just because I know more than I ought to know about her past.

Yet this woman has earned my respect by sharing the details of her life history with me. If she had not done so, I would just consider her an acquaintance.

It is foolish of me to even consider that I'm the One for her. This is a delusion my part, which is motivated by the fantasy that were we to develop an intimate relationship, that we would fall in love and live happily ever after.

Such a delusion is often the result of thinking that what I know about her implies that I could make a difference in her life. This is due to an ego defect in my psyche.

It is vain on my part to think that I could make such a difference in her life.

Indeed, it is more likely that declaring my "love" for her would turn her off.

Instead, I should be a friend and stop thinking with my dick. Otherwise, our friendship could be ruined forever.

However, unconditional love implies that friends don't invade each other's privacy.

Besides, my female friend knows that I am unlikely to dominate her i.e. "groom" her to become attracted to me. I do not believe in treating women this way, because sometimes guys who like to dominate women who like to dominate them might become the jealous and possessive jerk who ends up being her domestic abuse "partner."

I loathe dominating a woman, because it is about power and control, and has nothing at all to do with romantic love at all.

For I believe that control and power are two assets that both partners share, both consciously through actions that follow through on words shared with each other.

Indeed, it is in our both good interest for me to declare this truth about control and power in a healthy relationship.

For partners in a relationship share equally in developing it. As well, she has let it be known to me that we could only be friends.

So, even if I hold a flame for her, then due to her personal history, it is unwise for me to pursue her a love interest even though the fantasy of a romance blooming is tempting, the potential of living such a delusion with her would only affect my emotional well-being, it would also lead to her taking me off her friends list.

Thus, it is best for both of us to be friends, because in this post-modern world, friendship is endearing and sometimes a lifelong commitment that endures.

Indeed, a good friend is the confident, the person who is a sounding board.

For friendship arises due to unconditional love.

IMO romantic relationships put conditions on each partner, and causes conditional love based on intimacy and romance. A woman puts a man or woman on their intimate partner list based on meeting conditions based on human love.

If neither side understands unconditional love through meditation and/or prayer about it, then all both of them are left with is human love based on those conditions.

For unconditional love is like a love so high that we mortals are barely able to utilize its power to transform human love into something that lasts for years.

Such a love empowers people to become compassionate and understanding of other people in our lives. In contrast, because of the conditions that human love depends on, compassion and understanding could be fickle and limited, because humans, being mortal, are limited in their power to realize unconditional love.

While love may be a many splendid thing, it can become more than that by understanding what unconditional love actually is: love without conditions place on both partners in a relationship.

This is why I mentioned dominance in a relationship and the inequity it causes. For a dominating personality seeks control and power over a submissive partner, and thus inequity is inherent in such a relationship.

I behooves me to consider such a choice, and I would rather remain single than trying to be someone I am unable to be, due to my unwillingness to control and disempower my future partner.

Yet I am open in at least trying to explain to my friend that a dynamic friendship is about being equals by the secrets we share with each other.

The World Alight With Passion (poem)

A vision of beauty is like the sun.
Before seeing it, my world was dark.
Now it is alight with passion.

With the world alight with passion,
the dark of night no longer blinds me
to the true beauty of love.

The Smart Way to Beat the Cold and/or Flu

I believe that this Polish food actually helped with my cold: kapusta or sauerkraut. In addition, rhodiola rosea got rid of the coughing because of its stimulant effect due to balancing of the neurotransmitters.

Now that I am on the following healthfoods products consisting of omega-3 fish capsules (anti-inflammatory & brain food), açai (az'eye) (anti-oxidants), rhodiola (augments my espresso habit), and vinpo-15 (used as sedative), I feel great.

In fact, I feel really GOOD! It's easier to get over the blues of a recent romantic breakup, and as for the cold i got last month, it's like a memory.

Though, I'm almost ready to give up women again... Ain't no pill in the world can replace 'em tho. Just sayin'... :p

"Blind Date" leads to tragedy

BEIJING -- A 17-year-old boy in northeastern China was so disappointed with the looks of a woman he met over the Internet that he hanged himself after seeing her face-to-face, state media reported Friday.

The unnamed teenager first contacted the woman -- known by her chat moniker "Qunjiaofeiyang", or "Flying Skirt" -- using the popular Chinese online messaging software QQ, Xinhua news agency said.

The girl described herself as a beautiful 19-year-old and the pair chatted on the Web for weeks before arranging a December 26 rendezvous in the nearby city of Mudanjiang, in far northeastern Heilongjiang province.

The boy arrived to discover the woman far less attractive than advertised and 10 years older than him, Xinhua said.

The boy immediately returned home, lost his appetite, and four days later hanged himself from a tree.

OP note: This is a pic of the woman known as Qunjiaofeiyang. She looks plain but not ugly.

The Root of Romantic Delusion

"When an unpleasant object such as an enemy appears to our mind, we take this appearance at face value as a real, externally existent enemy, and so we react with fear or hostility; and when an attractive object such as a beautiful man or woman appears to our mind we are equally taken in and respond with desirous attachment. We are fooled completely by appearances - not for a moment do we question their validity.

If we did question appearances, we would discover that that is all they are: mere appearances to mind, with no real object behind them. The enemy we fight or flee from is no more real than the tiger in the dream, and has no more power to harm what we really are. And the beautiful man or woman we are so attached to is like a lover we meet in a dream, a mere appearance arising like a wave in the ocean of our mind and later dissolving back again."

Question appearances, lest you mistake a friend for an enemy and harm society itself.

It appals me that in romance, we do not question appearances but create a perfect world based on what other people present as true.

We do it in our work relationships but not in our romantic relationships.

By doing so, we suffer for not questioning appearances.

In doing so, we give lie to our loving nature.

If one truly loves another person, then it is imperative to question appearances.

Of dolls, intuition and empowerment

Dolls help take us out of childhood.

Some children use them to roleplay family drama so that the child mind can make sense of family dynamics for later recall as adults, when we finally do look at our childhood to make sense of it and to help us cope with life.

When I left Victoria in 1990, I was given two frog dolls by a close frind of mine.

They helped me adapt to living with my folks again.

About three years later, my friend from Victoria found a boyfriend, got pregnant and broke off contact with me.

The story of Vasalisa, who relies of her doll to escape Baba Yaga, is one about rising above the good mother, the part of us that can't stop helping others, even to the point of losing touch with our inner self.

Certain types of romance result from unfairly taking advantage of women who are mothering and act out of their compassion.

They may find sympathy for a man who tells his life story after he has gifted her with positive attention i.e. charming her by commenting on her beauty.

This story of Vasalisa contains the means by which such a woman can find her Wild woman side and nurture her intuition.

In this way shewill be able to balance her mothering abilities with her intuition so that she is not vulnerable to the charming sweet-talking men out there.

My friend's gift of the frog dolls, I feel, helped me to adapt to home life.

In a sense, she too is a mother figure, since she did loan me cutlery and eating utensils.

I hope she too found someone to help her grow into motherhood.

It's been 15 years since I left Victoria, and 12.5 years since she broke off communication.

Her own child is about 13. I wonder what's happening with her...