Honor Thy Mother

Recently I have been fighting with my mother. After a long prayer about the situation in my personal life, I have come to realize that the only way to deal with her is to tell her "I love you" regardless if what she says or does.

For Jesus said "love one another", and this applies especially to the commandment to honor my parents. Jesus also said "love your enemies" and dedicate yourself to their welfare. Yet my greatest enemy is always my selfish desires.

Even though I may mistake my mother for my enemy, the only true enemy is self-will.

So from this day forward I shall try to transform my selfishness into the selflessness as I listen to my mother in respectful silence.

Indeed, Love is the only response to a mother who misuses the commandment to "honor thy father and mother." For this is too the commandment of the Christ: to honor my mother by responding with love to anything she says or does.

All that I am capable of doing is to respond in a loving and compassionate manner, regardless of her behavior. For love conquers all, and my actions from this day forward shall reflect my determination to practice what I preach.

So shall I dedicate myself to honor my mother in a gentle and kind manner for the sake of our family.

I am a Mirror (poem)

I am a mirror.
Whatever you say
About me reflects on you.
You call me "weak"
because of your weaknesses.
You call me "strong"
because of your strengths.
Reflecting thusly, my silence
is golden always.

You are a mirror
Reflecting on the mind
Entranced by the ego
Until lost in
the dualities
Of Self and Other.

I am a mirror.
Whatever I say
About you reflects on me.
I call you "weak"
Because of my weaknesses.
I call you "strong"
Because of my strengths.
Reflecting thusly, your silence
is golden always.

You are a mirror
Lost in the mind that projects
The ego upon the world,
Until found through
The reality
of Selflessness.

To free the ego grasping
In vain for the object of desire,
Appease the ego with love
Rendered unconditional by Buddha,
Whose smile is contagious
And Whose Nature is true.

What is that mirror
But a single facet
of the diamond mind of Buddha,
And each sparkling facet,
The mind of a bodhisattva
Reflecting on True Self
And the Other as One,
While the ego is appeased.

This is that mirror,
The mind in meditation
Reflecting with the clarity
of the diamond mind of Buddha,
Having appeased the ego
With Four Noble Truths
That led to the Eightfold Path —
Nirvana sets all of us free!

---

Originally posted on Oct 2, 2014 at 5:57 AM

How to Damage Samsara

Samsara and Nirvana are
empty of permanence and
full of impermanence.
Thus Emptiness aligns with
the no-self principle.
Develop doubts about Samsara
as real to understand Emptiness.
Developing doubts about Emptiness
will damage Samsara until
only Nirvana remains.

Meditation on The Three Marks of Existence

"I", "me" , "my", "mine" - these are merely conventions, for when the body is dust, where are they?

"You", "you", "your", "yours" - these too are conventions, for when the body is dust, where are they?

"We," "us", "our", "ours" - these are conventions, for when the body is dust, where are they?

"They", "them", "their", "theirs," - these are conventions, for when the body is dust, where are they?

To fixate on "me" is the root of anger, for this body is not our possession. Indeed, it was merely given to us at birth, and death takes it away easily.

To fixate on "you" is the root of desire, for your body is not my possession. It was given to you at birth, and death shall take it away with ease.

To fixate on "us" is the root of ignorance, for our bodies are no one's possessions. We are given them at birth, and death shall remove us from them easily.

To fixate on "them" is the root of suffering, for their bodies ar no one's possessions. They are given to us at birth, and death shall take them away easily.

Knowing this, the wise one does not cling to her body, nor does she gaze in the mirror for vanity's sake. Instead, she completes the mind's own mirror and sees Ego for what it is: the false "I", subject to change and thus impermanent.

Only the fool denies the three marks of existence: impermanence, suffering due to dissatisfaction, and non-self. For the wise know that the self is the mud house of the Ego. When this body is dust, where is the self?

In truth, all things are in flux. Nothing lasts forever. For life is truly unsatisfactory. When each of us lets go of the Ego, true freedom surely is within reach. Anything else, be it liberty or licence is merely the work of men.

Let peace be the result of this meditation. Let it enlighten the ignorant and affirm the work of the wise.

Attaining Nirvana

Some people are born again;
evil-doers go to hell;
righteous people go to heaven;
those who are free from
all worldly desires
attain Nirvana. — Dhammapada 126

Nirvana is freedom from suffering due to worldly desire.

Worldly desire is also called evil passions, which cause us to calculate how to profit at the expense of other people's right to happiness and self-determination.

In this context, evil refers to the negative selfish affect of passions i.e. egoistic desires.

Passions refers to lust, anger, pride, attachment to worldly things, etc.

In this context then, evil passions arise when all worldly desires distract us from our spiritual path in life.

Our spiritual path in life is to attain Nirvana.

To serve others and be helpful to friends, family and strangers is the means by which all Buddhists attain Nirvana.

Thus through selflessness one is able to attain Nirvana, and be free of desire.

Deep Reflection on Self and Others

I do not desire suffering;
yet fool I am,
I desire the cause of suffering! — Shantideva

What is the cause of suffering but self-will? For the ego, when kindled, blinds me to my ignorance so that I may err, and thus suffer needlessly.

---

All those who are unhappy in the world
desire for their own happiness;
All those who are happy in the world
desire for the happiness of others. — Shantideva

So work for the happiness of others so that happiness is shared with all. In this way are the wise truly happy. And yet such happiness may be short-lived.

---

Wisdom tells me I am nothing.
Love tells me I am everything.
Between the two my life flows. — Nisargadatta Maharaj

The spiritual life springs from the desire to share happiness and love. In contrast, worldliness springs from the desire for fame and gain. Few of us have managed to balance our lives between both on our own.

Even so, the well-balanced life arises from sharing one's life with beloved family and friends, not from asceticism but from a willingness to let go of self for the sake of others.

---

Student: Sir, if one gave up the I, nothing whatsoever would remain.

Ramakrishna: I am not asking you to give up all of the I. you should give up only the "unripe I." the "unripe I" makes one feel: "I am the doer. these are my wife and children. I am a teacher."

Renounce this "unripe I" and keep the "ripe I" which will make you feel that you are God's servant, His devotee, and that God is the doer and you are His instrument. — Sri Ramakrishna

The "unripe I" is the ego; the "ripe I" is the soul. While the former lives in this world, the latter lives for God. Moreso, merely knowing I am God's servant is not enough. Being devoted to Him allows me to see that as God's instrument I will try to be as harmless to others as I am able.

---

All the violence, fear and suffering
that exists in this world
comes from grasping at "self".
What use is this great monster to you?
if you do not let go of the "self",
there will never be an end to your suffering.— Shantideva

Letting go of the "self", become human. Abandon grasping at "self", and be at peace with self and other.

---

Where are you hurrying to?
you will see
the same moon tonight
wherever you go! — Izumi Shikibu

The Authentic Self: Changing the Script

Each of us shares in this drama called Life, living by the script we each learn from birth until the day we die.

"The script" is a metaphor for behavioral and psychological negativities including cognitive distortions which lead to neuroses and sometimes, psychoses.

Indeed, the script can be summed up by this definition of insanity: when I keep doing the same thing all the time, expecting different results.

Yet it doesn't have to be like that.

Indeed, whenever I act differently from the day before, the script is being rewritten by me with the help of others.

This is why we share our lives with friends and family: to help rewrite that script, based on our shared experiences, to regain our sanity, one day at a time.

While we cannot change our life experience, we can still gain wisdom from it.

For the script is what we can change, just for today.

We can change the things we can by the grace of God as we know him, be it the 12-Step group, a prayer group, or simply two or more people sharing their lives with each other; within Japanese New Religion, Oyasama — which means "Greatly Honoured Parent" — also refers to the Higher Power, be it the Buddha or another spiritual entity.

This change is vital to, and a result of, spiritual growth which brings us closer to the authentic self.

Thus, living authentically is to live in the present moment, letting what each day offer each of us the chance to act to the best of our ability.

Provided that we play our part in Life, and be willing to change the script, it is possible to regains ties to the authentic self.

---

For more notes on the authentic self, click on the link at the head of this article: http://gandhara.blogspot.com/2010/12/notes-on-being-mentally-captive-and.html

The Healthy Ego Revolves Around a Higher Power

Ideally, a truly healthy ego revolves around a Higher Power. For some of us, this is God as we know Him; others rely on the Buddha or Allah or even their most trusted friends.

Egocentricity however operates under the delusion that the world revolves around me. It tries ot get us to believe that we don't need help to recover from addiction.

Yet, where is this "me" when the chips are down? When self-will (ego) tells us we can do fine on our own, relapse might occur.

Out of ignorance, we create fabrications rather than simply face the simple truth that the biggest social fabrication is the ego.

For the ego does not exist, except in the mind.

Of the mind, let us be mindful of the folly of egocentricity. For what is "I", "me", and "mine" but social conventions?

Let go and let God...

Self and Others: Compassion and Loving-kindness (Meditation)

Within context of Buddhism, the ego is also known as the self, with the former being a quality of the mind and the latter being mind and body.

Even so, the self is not the embodiment of self-centredness.

By denying that the self is not the embodiment of self-centredness, I do not imply that another quality of the mind and/or body is the embodiment of self-centredness. Indeed, not even the ego is the embodiment of self-centredness. For both the self and the ego describe abstract conceptions of qualities of the mind-and-body and mind, respectively.

Rather, self-centredness is the delusion that the self is the centre of the world when it is not. Instead, the self is merely a convention used by a person to mark the boundary between his own world and the world at large. "The world at large" refers to that which is non-self. It is also known as "other".

Regarding "other" within context of the world at large, this refers to other sentient beings, especially family, friends, and particularly people from all walks of life.

When the "other" is internalized and highly idealized within the context of Buddhism, it is known as the non-self. It too is not the centre of the self. Indeed, the self does not exist apart from the body. Thus is self-centredness a vain delusion.

Yet its cure is meditation, followed by mindful practice. One meditates to develop the clear mind. In developing clarity of mind, one is able to cut through the delusion of self-centredness.

Once the delusion of self-centredness fades, one sees that happiness is not solely dependent on external circumstances. Rather, happiness starts by first meeting one's basic needs, and then by being of service to others.

Therefore, mindful practice is when the self gives of itself loving-kindness to others, and in return, takes compassion from others in a mutually beneficial manner.

---

Reference:
Tonglen: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tonglen
Guide to the Bodhisattva Way: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bodhicharyavatara
Madhyamaka: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madhyamaka

Meditation on Buddha Nature

Buddha Nature is self nature.
Self nature is one's original nature.
One's original nature is one's true nature.
One's true nature is the Pure Mind.
The Pure Mind is the Pure Heart.
The Pure Heart is selflessness.
Selflessness is non-self.
Non-self is other nature.
Other nature is Buddha Nature.

---

Commentary:
Buddha Nature is self nature because it is an intrinsic part of the mind.

Self nature is one's original nature due to Buddha Nature.

One's original nature is one's true nature found through meditation and mindful practice.

One's true nature is the Pure Mind attained through meditation.

The Pure Mind is the Pure Heart attained through mindful practice.

The Pure Heart is selflessness, achieved through being helpful and of service to others without thought for fame or gain.

Selflessness is non-self in action by being helpful to other.

Non-self is other nature because service to others promotes their happiness and well-being.

Thus is other nature is Buddha Nature.

Is Buddha Nature the soul? No, for its original nature is non-self, discovered through the oneness of self and other. Though neither self nor other exist for eternity, Buddha Nature exists in the mind of every sentient being. Once actualized through meditation and mindful practice, Buddha Nature helps each of us to experience and show compassion for others.

How is self nature other nature? When self and other work together as one, all thought of "I, me, and mine" fade away. In unity, we work together to help each other. Thus is self nature other nature.

Nembutsu Zen (poem)

Remembering the Buddha
is the Name-that-calls...
Mindful of the Buddha,
self and mind flow on...
Namu Amida Butsu!

Pure mindfulness rests
in the bosom of no-self
when peace is at hand!

Selflessness cannot rise
by calculation;
rather, no-mind clearly flows
in serenity...
Namu Amida Butsu!

Ego Addiction

I have an addiction.

It's called 'ego addiction.'

It means that I spend most of my waking hours worrying about whether people like me, agree with me, understand me, care about me, want me, respect me, admire me, listen to me. It means that I am dominated by my ego, possessed by it, controlled by it. It means that my vision, my hearing, my understanding must all pass through the filter of my ego.

Not very flattering.

A friend of mine pointed it out. He suggested that one of the symptoms of my ego addiction is 'attachment.' I had never heard that term before in this context. He explained, 'I heard a speaker once who told the audience before he started, If, during my talk, you find yourself disagreeing with my comments or angry or bored and want to leave, go ahead, I am not attached to my comments.'"

"Attached to my comments." Wow! Those words went off like a bombshell in my mind. It was one of those "aha's" of life. I recognized myself in those comments because that is exactly what I do. I attach myself to my words, to my actions, to my possessions...my children, my job, my faith. If you don't agree with what I say, I take it personally. If you walk out during my talk, it must be something I said. If you miss a Sunday or two at my church, I must have offended you, you don't like me, my theology is not acceptable...

...Mix a good dose of ego addiction with Jesus, and the consequences are frightening. It causes ministers to build huge churches as a monument to their own ego, it causes people to go on television with their "unique ministry," which is another term for "my ministry." It causes people to write books, speak all over the world, abandon their families, their friends, and their neighborhoods so they can respond to the "great need"... which is really the need to be needed....

...How embarrassing it is to come to the third chapter of John. John's popularity was dropping off and Jesus' popularity was growing. Naturally, John's disciples were very upset. John calmed them down and then stunned them by whispering those magnificent words, "He must increase, I must decrease."...

...What if I took those words seriously, detached my ego from Jesus, and started following Him instead? What if I started worrying more about Jesus' reputation and less about my own? Maybe Mike would begin to disappear ... and Jesus would start appearing in my family, in my relationships, in my church ... even in this magazine."

Mike Yaconelli, "Ego Addiction," The Door Magazine, #125, October 1992.

When you put other people first, then the ego does not distort the truth.

Then you can walk on one step at a time with less stumbling.

Although it isn't that simple for most people, what complicates the matter is that it takes a lot of little baby steps before you are able to walk confidently.

A Meditation on Bruce Lee, God, selflessness and love

"If there is a God, he is within. You don't ask God to give you things, you depend on God for your inner theme."

"A good martial artist does not become tense but ready. Not thinking yet not dreaming, ready for whatever may come. A martial artist has to take responsibility for himself and face the consequences of his own doing. To have no technique, there is no opponent, because the word "I" does not exist. When the opponent expands I contract and when he contracts, I expand. And when there is an opportunity, "I" do not hit, "It" hits all by itself." -- from Enter the Dragon, Mr. Lee to his Sifu master.

"Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable."

In actual fact, God is not a divine being apart from man. He is neither male nor female. He is both everything and nothing. For God is both the lover and the beloved. When the congregation is in prayer together, God is there. When one person alone faces temptation, God is there. When no one is in the forest, only God hears the tree fall. I cannot say it more succinctly, but these words are inspired by Bruce Lee's thoughts on God, selflessness and love.

The Ego Prayer (poem)

If the very nature of Being
is to become "I am",
what a challenge for someone
who foolishly chooses
Ego over selflessness!
For this person would sooner
choose having No-mind
over all the suffering
that Ego has brought to life
on this good earth.
So let this person lose
his hold over all clinging,
if only to let go of Ego.

How to Master Fear

The cause of all fear is self-grasping ignorance, and all the delusions, such as selfishness, attachment and anger, arise from that ignorance, as well as all the unskillful actions motivated by those delusions. --From Tharpa.com

Thus, the antidotes to the delusions of selfishness, attachment and anger are
selflessness, detachment and unconditional love.

Selflessness is best achieved by helping people without expecting reward, to give of ourselves without thought of being a giver.

Detachment is known as letting go, i.e. to not hold onto something as though it were near and dear to you, even when this turns out to be your own life.

Yet to throw away your life needlessly is not detachment, but foolhardiness.

With a healthy sense of detachment, one learns to balance self-preservation with self sacrifice.

Unconditional love is also known as compassion, the kind of love which makes no exceptions, such that one may love another, regardless of whether s/he is friend or enemy.

It may be that selflessness, detachment and unconditional love are the greatest tools a person may develop to remove all delusions, and even ignorance itself.

And no one is excluded from developing their skills in use of these tools.

Yet, only the good of us continue to use them to benefit us all.