After I was healing from an operation, I was prescribed Tylenol-3s but never took them for the pain.
So I endured painful urination for about a week before I popped one T-3.
Within 15 minutes, I was actually high. Seriously, I felt as though the observer part of me was on the ceiling.
Sadly though, every pill after the first never got me that high again.
That's because I develop a rapid tolerance to most psychoactive medication and alcohol. This is even occurs with healthfood supplements such as theanine, melatonin, valerian, etc.
I bet if I took at T-3 again, then the worst that would happen is I'd feel a little mellow and get constipated.
However, I will stick to healthfood supplements in moderation.
20070430
The Utopia called "Drug Legalization"
"The goal of legalizing drugs is to bring them under effective legal control. If it were legal to produce and distribute drugs, legitimate businessmen would enter the business. There would be less need for violence and corruption since the industry would have access to the courts. And, instead of absorbing tax dollars as targets of expensive enforcement efforts, the drug sellers might begin to pay taxes. So, legalization might well solve the organized crime aspects of the drug trafficking problem. On average, drug use under legalization might not be as destructive to users and to society as under the current prohibition, because drugs would be less expensive, purer, and more conveniently available." -- National Institute of Justice
With legalization would come reduced violence and corruption. Expensive enforcement would vanish. Finally, the manufacturers of drugs would pay taxes, as would the drug dealer.
With drugs less expensive, purer and conveniently available, maybe users would moderate their habits and not be given to excess by also going into therapy to treat the tendency of some addicts to go to excess due to psychosocial issues which precipitated their substance abuse.
If America was so enlightened, then the State's experience with pushing alcohol, tobacco and pharmaceutical drugs could be applied with gusto to recreational drugs; but the only reason why drugs will remain illegal is because media hype would die down and moral reprehension would cease.
Yes, the only reason why drugs are illegal are to sell product. In this case, it is the demon called "drug addiction" which barely accounts for 10% of users of any drug.
And, contrary to the hype, when 100 people take a drug, about 10 will get hooked, depending on their background, motivation, and peers.
Alas, this utopia of drug legalization will never come to pass because neither statistics nor medicine enlighten the voter. Only education of the harm of drug prohibition will do so.
So in essence, harm reduction implies eventual drug legalization. For that would reduce the stigma and the costs of a senseless and stupid war.
With legalization would come reduced violence and corruption. Expensive enforcement would vanish. Finally, the manufacturers of drugs would pay taxes, as would the drug dealer.
With drugs less expensive, purer and conveniently available, maybe users would moderate their habits and not be given to excess by also going into therapy to treat the tendency of some addicts to go to excess due to psychosocial issues which precipitated their substance abuse.
If America was so enlightened, then the State's experience with pushing alcohol, tobacco and pharmaceutical drugs could be applied with gusto to recreational drugs; but the only reason why drugs will remain illegal is because media hype would die down and moral reprehension would cease.
Yes, the only reason why drugs are illegal are to sell product. In this case, it is the demon called "drug addiction" which barely accounts for 10% of users of any drug.
And, contrary to the hype, when 100 people take a drug, about 10 will get hooked, depending on their background, motivation, and peers.
Alas, this utopia of drug legalization will never come to pass because neither statistics nor medicine enlighten the voter. Only education of the harm of drug prohibition will do so.
So in essence, harm reduction implies eventual drug legalization. For that would reduce the stigma and the costs of a senseless and stupid war.
20070429
The Propaganda of Drug Prohibition
"The propaganda that caused people to believe that Germans were a master race and Jews were an inferior race and needed to be exterminated has an exact parallel in the war on marijuana. You create false evils, create fear and hatred for a certain class of people and proceed to inflict horrific punishment on the targets of your lies. All the while seizing totalitarian power for yourself and your cronies based on the need for people to abandon their normal concepts of right and wrong and leave those decisions entirely to the propagandists." -- Daryl Verville, in his documentary The Naked Queen
In a recent example, the US FDA indicates it has bought the propaganda about medical marijuana which it claims has no benefits. At the same time, the FDA has historically allowed SSRI anti-depressants go on the market while pharmaceutical companies have hidden data which shows risk of suicide amongst patients, especially teenagers.
Meanwhile, marijuana has been considered a dangerous narcotic which causes anxiety and paranoia, but only among one out of four people who have used it since they were teens. This means that among people who use it occasionally (less than once a week) as adults, more than 75% of them will experience no ill effects, apart from mild intoxication, increased ability to get to sleep at night and associated changes in sleep patterns. In short, for the majority of users, marijuana is a non-addictive alternative to habit-forming benzodiazepines, used by consumers by prescription as sleep aids and sedatives.
Does the propaganda against marijuana indicate the relative harmlessness of the drug when compared to cigarettes (nicotine) and alcohol? No, most anti-marijuana literature addresses the health risks, including cognitive deficits and especially high use side effects, and claims marijuana is addictive. Indeed, most anti-marijuana literature uses subtle scare tactics and promotes abstinence.
However, neither the pro-marijuana nor the anti-marijuana proponents advocate moderation of use. It is barely brought up in debates for or against the drug.
Quite possibly, moderation of use may be covered under harm reduction. If moderation works for some alcoholics, it can work for marijuana users.
"Because let's face it: there's no bigger pusher than the state. There are far more dangerous and mind-altering drugs than marijuana being pushed on us every day by huge pharmaceutical companies, with the blessings of our doctors and the government. And no one's raiding the drug companies." -- Bonnie Burstow, senior lecturer at the Ontario Institute for Studies in Education
20070426
Three Witnesses: The Case of Deneen Chenier, Elizabeth Bain, and the January Girl
On December 21, 1989, the Scarborough Rapist attacked again.
He targeted Deneen Chenier, brutally raping her both vaginally and anally, leaving tears in both areas.
As well, Ms. Chenier claimed there was a woman with him holding a video camera. That evidence was discounted by the police.
Yet this evidence fits perfectly the Ken&Barbie profile.
Could Karla have been tagging along on some of Paul Bernardo's rape quests as early as 1989?
Then Elizabeth Bain is murdered in June 1990. She was seen in the company of a man who looked remarkably like Paul Bernardo. Yet her boyfriend is arrested and charged with her murder. Her body was never found.
After they accidentally kill Tammy Homolka in December 1990, the following January 1991 Paul Bernardo brings home a girl while Lori and the Homolkas are away. He rapes her in front of Karla. The woman is quiet. He lets her go, and isn't concerned that she might have seen his car's license plate.
Was Karla acting in this manner to prevent Paul from harming her?
Probably.
But the reason why the police didn't catch onto them before 1990 was because they had yet to kill anyone.
Reference:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Bernardo#Other_potential_or_possible_victims
Elizabeth Bain: http://www.citytv.com/toronto/citynews/news/local/article/13727--elizabeth-bain-s-mother-doubts-paul-bernardo-involved-in-her-daughter-s-death
He targeted Deneen Chenier, brutally raping her both vaginally and anally, leaving tears in both areas.
As well, Ms. Chenier claimed there was a woman with him holding a video camera. That evidence was discounted by the police.
Yet this evidence fits perfectly the Ken&Barbie profile.
Could Karla have been tagging along on some of Paul Bernardo's rape quests as early as 1989?
Then Elizabeth Bain is murdered in June 1990. She was seen in the company of a man who looked remarkably like Paul Bernardo. Yet her boyfriend is arrested and charged with her murder. Her body was never found.
After they accidentally kill Tammy Homolka in December 1990, the following January 1991 Paul Bernardo brings home a girl while Lori and the Homolkas are away. He rapes her in front of Karla. The woman is quiet. He lets her go, and isn't concerned that she might have seen his car's license plate.
Was Karla acting in this manner to prevent Paul from harming her?
Probably.
But the reason why the police didn't catch onto them before 1990 was because they had yet to kill anyone.
Reference:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Bernardo#Other_potential_or_possible_victims
Elizabeth Bain: http://www.citytv.com/toronto/citynews/news/local/article/13727--elizabeth-bain-s-mother-doubts-paul-bernardo-involved-in-her-daughter-s-death
20070423
Crime Rate is Dropping
Only for homicide (murder) has the crime rate gone up from 1.7 per 100,000 in 2001 to level off at 2.0 per 100,000 from 2004 to 2005.
In America, the homicide rate is 5.5 per 100,000 for 2005 with 3/4 of victims being men and almost 90% of perpetrators also men. This works out to 9 per 100,000 male victims, 2.3 per 100,000 female victims, 12 per 100,000 male perpetrators and 2 per 100,000 female perpetrators.
So unless it happens to be the rare case of a man being murdered by a woman or even rarer, a woman by a woman, most men murder mostly other men. One out of four victims is female.
Regarding rape & sexual assault, it went from 160 per 100,000 in 1995, 120 per 100,000 in 2000, 80 per 100,000 in 2005, to 100 per 100,000 in 2007 in the US according to US Census Bureau records:
If 1 in 10 incidents of sexual assault are not reported, the rates dropped from 1600 to 1000 per 100,000 in the US from 1995 to 2007.
Over the same period, Canada's sexual assault rates were lower: 100 per 100,000 in 1995, 80 per 100,000 in 2000, 75 per 100,000 in 2005 and 70 in 2007.
If in Canada, 1 in 10 incidents of sexual assault are not reported, then the rates dropped from 1000 to 700 per 100,000 in Canada from 1995 to 2007.
Reference:
Crimes and Offenses: http://www40.statcan.gc.ca/l01/ind01/l2_2693-eng.htm
Homicide Trends: 1980 to 2005: http://www.census.gov/compendia/statab/2010/tables/10s0301.pdf
Criminal Victimization and Victimization Rates: http://www.census.gov/compendia/statab/2010/tables/10s0304.pdf
Chart 1, Sexual Assault in Canada 2004 and 2007: http://www.statcan.gc.ca/pub/85f0033m/85f0033m2008019-eng.pdf
In America, the homicide rate is 5.5 per 100,000 for 2005 with 3/4 of victims being men and almost 90% of perpetrators also men. This works out to 9 per 100,000 male victims, 2.3 per 100,000 female victims, 12 per 100,000 male perpetrators and 2 per 100,000 female perpetrators.
So unless it happens to be the rare case of a man being murdered by a woman or even rarer, a woman by a woman, most men murder mostly other men. One out of four victims is female.
Regarding rape & sexual assault, it went from 160 per 100,000 in 1995, 120 per 100,000 in 2000, 80 per 100,000 in 2005, to 100 per 100,000 in 2007 in the US according to US Census Bureau records:
If 1 in 10 incidents of sexual assault are not reported, the rates dropped from 1600 to 1000 per 100,000 in the US from 1995 to 2007.
Over the same period, Canada's sexual assault rates were lower: 100 per 100,000 in 1995, 80 per 100,000 in 2000, 75 per 100,000 in 2005 and 70 in 2007.
If in Canada, 1 in 10 incidents of sexual assault are not reported, then the rates dropped from 1000 to 700 per 100,000 in Canada from 1995 to 2007.
Reference:
Crimes and Offenses: http://www40.statcan.gc.ca/l01/ind01/l2_2693-eng.htm
Homicide Trends: 1980 to 2005: http://www.census.gov/compendia/statab/2010/tables/10s0301.pdf
Criminal Victimization and Victimization Rates: http://www.census.gov/compendia/statab/2010/tables/10s0304.pdf
Chart 1, Sexual Assault in Canada 2004 and 2007: http://www.statcan.gc.ca/pub/85f0033m/85f0033m2008019-eng.pdf
20070420
In Moderation Marijuana Beats Alcohol
420 beats alcohol. Here's how:
Alcohol, when consumed during binge drinking - the pastime of today's youth - can lead to violence. It is also a dangerous gateway drug, like tobacco!
Pot, when consumed in moderate amounts - two puffs - leads to the typical stoned feeling with momentary lapses of consciousness.
Only in people who associate violence with getting drunk or stoned, and binge drink and/or smoke too much pot, may become violent.
Please pass it on! Puff puff!
Alcohol, when consumed during binge drinking - the pastime of today's youth - can lead to violence. It is also a dangerous gateway drug, like tobacco!
Pot, when consumed in moderate amounts - two puffs - leads to the typical stoned feeling with momentary lapses of consciousness.
Only in people who associate violence with getting drunk or stoned, and binge drink and/or smoke too much pot, may become violent.
Please pass it on! Puff puff!
20070419
The Inaction Of Good People the Root of Evil
Regarding the Cho Seung-Hui murder-suicide, Virginia Tech bears some responsibility in it happening.
IMHO Cho killed 32 people because he had lost face by December 2005 due to two incidents of harrassment reported to VTech but not aggressively pursued.
His QuestionMark persona of 2006 demonstrates this loss of face.
It signalled that Cho was spiralling out of control.
Yet the President of Virginia Tech was slow to act. He now denies Cho's action was in any way influenced by what Virginia Tech may not have done.
We cannot blame the two women not to pursue charges against Cho, for they feared being stalked further by him.
Thus, this tragedy emphasizes that individual psychopaths are the cause of the tragedy at any college murder-suicide, not the inaction of presumably good people.
And this in itself is as evil as shooting 32 people dead.
What could have worked in this case was to graduate the guy, give him a degree in English, and bid him farewell.
Instead, the President ignored the obvious fact that Cho was rapidly deteriorating, and left counselling up to a man who walked out of a psychward back in early 2006, a man who went on to call himself QuestionMark.
Thus Virginia Tech is partially culpable for the deaths of all 33 students through its inaction.
Just agreeing to a student policy isn't enough. Written contracts with the offending student, and constant monitoring, is advised.
This makes me wonder about all his roommates. Why weren't his roomies this term more vigilante?
IMHO Cho killed 32 people because he had lost face by December 2005 due to two incidents of harrassment reported to VTech but not aggressively pursued.
His QuestionMark persona of 2006 demonstrates this loss of face.
It signalled that Cho was spiralling out of control.
Yet the President of Virginia Tech was slow to act. He now denies Cho's action was in any way influenced by what Virginia Tech may not have done.
We cannot blame the two women not to pursue charges against Cho, for they feared being stalked further by him.
Thus, this tragedy emphasizes that individual psychopaths are the cause of the tragedy at any college murder-suicide, not the inaction of presumably good people.
And this in itself is as evil as shooting 32 people dead.
What could have worked in this case was to graduate the guy, give him a degree in English, and bid him farewell.
Instead, the President ignored the obvious fact that Cho was rapidly deteriorating, and left counselling up to a man who walked out of a psychward back in early 2006, a man who went on to call himself QuestionMark.
Thus Virginia Tech is partially culpable for the deaths of all 33 students through its inaction.
Just agreeing to a student policy isn't enough. Written contracts with the offending student, and constant monitoring, is advised.
This makes me wonder about all his roommates. Why weren't his roomies this term more vigilante?
Hikikomori: Social Anxiety Due to PTSD Arising From Pressure to Succeed in an Emotionally Reserved Setting (which may explain Cho Seung-Hui's life)
For much of my twenties and thirties, I may have suffered a form of hikikomori, a uniquely Japanese form of sociopathy with a risk for violence due to social isolation.
Here's a full description of the disorder, and roots to its origins. The concept of hone (inner voice) and tatamae (outer voice) may be unique to the Japanese, but the terms I use for each of them relates to the inner voice that when inappropriately expressed may lead to social isolation and the outer voice that is appropriately expressed which leads to social integration into the group.
Thus, one only expresses the inner voice to become individualistic, while the outer voice leads one to become at one with the group, be it one's friends or society at large.
April 19, 2007: Perhaps this explains Cho Seung-Hui's early life until age 16, the year before 9/11.
The following is a quote from Mark Zielenziger's first chapter of his book, SHUTTING OUT THE SUN, which may explain Cho's first 17 years of his life (until 9/11 shocked him and the rest of us out of our sense of isolation from the horrors of terrorism).
Bluntly put, Cho's murder-suicide is another of a long blood trail of domestic terrorism, but then again so is any form of violence when it brings a chill of terror to even one heart.
A SYNDROME KNOWN AS HIKIKOMORI, IN which the outside world is shunned, is wreaking havoc on young people in Japan, a country known for its communal values. And an older generation--the very bastion of those old-fashioned values--may be to blame, according to a controversial new theory.
Hikikomori (the term refers to the behavior itself and to those who suffer from it) was first recognized in the early 1990s. One million Japanese, or almost 1 percent of the population, are estimated to suffer from hikikomori, defined as a withdrawal from friends and family for months or even years. Some 40 percent of hikikomori are below the age of 21, according to a 2001 government report.
Western psychologists compare hikikomori with social anxiety and agoraphobia, a fear of open places. The affliction has also been likened to Asperger's syndrome, a mild variant of autism. But these theories carry little weight in Japan, where the disorder is considered culturally unique and is linked to violence.
Yuichi Hattori, M.A., a psychologist currently treating 18 patients with the disorder, believes that hikikomori is caused by emotionally neglectful parenting. Hattori argues that none of his patients had been sexually or physically abused, yet they all show signs of posttraumatic stress disorder.
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As the cultural gap between Japan's youth and elders widens, some young Japanese may view their parents as too stony-faced and reserved. Hattori speaks of Japanese society's deep-rooted division between hone and tatemae--one's true feelings and one's actions--to illustrate the frustration his patients express toward aloof parents.
"Patients tell me their mothers have no emotions," says Hattori. "Six patients have called their parents zombies."
Hattori's findings, presented in November to the International Society for the Study of Dissociation, are reminiscent of the now-discredited theory of the "refrigerator mother," which attributed autism to a detached style of parenting.
"Hikikomori looks more to me like an extreme case of social anxiety," says David Kupfer, Ph.D., a psychologist with a private practice in Virginia. Emotionally unresponsive parents are only one of the factors involved in the development of this disorder, says Kupfer, who points out that "in Japan, the pressure to succeed is a unique cultural source of trauma."
For now, Eastern and Western psychologists agree only that hikikomori is unique to Japan and has serious ramifications for both generations.
COPYRIGHT 2003 Sussex Publishers, Inc.
COPYRIGHT 2003 Gale Group
Here's a full description of the disorder, and roots to its origins. The concept of hone (inner voice) and tatamae (outer voice) may be unique to the Japanese, but the terms I use for each of them relates to the inner voice that when inappropriately expressed may lead to social isolation and the outer voice that is appropriately expressed which leads to social integration into the group.
Thus, one only expresses the inner voice to become individualistic, while the outer voice leads one to become at one with the group, be it one's friends or society at large.
April 19, 2007: Perhaps this explains Cho Seung-Hui's early life until age 16, the year before 9/11.
The following is a quote from Mark Zielenziger's first chapter of his book, SHUTTING OUT THE SUN, which may explain Cho's first 17 years of his life (until 9/11 shocked him and the rest of us out of our sense of isolation from the horrors of terrorism).
Bluntly put, Cho's murder-suicide is another of a long blood trail of domestic terrorism, but then again so is any form of violence when it brings a chill of terror to even one heart.
A SYNDROME KNOWN AS HIKIKOMORI, IN which the outside world is shunned, is wreaking havoc on young people in Japan, a country known for its communal values. And an older generation--the very bastion of those old-fashioned values--may be to blame, according to a controversial new theory.
Hikikomori (the term refers to the behavior itself and to those who suffer from it) was first recognized in the early 1990s. One million Japanese, or almost 1 percent of the population, are estimated to suffer from hikikomori, defined as a withdrawal from friends and family for months or even years. Some 40 percent of hikikomori are below the age of 21, according to a 2001 government report.
Western psychologists compare hikikomori with social anxiety and agoraphobia, a fear of open places. The affliction has also been likened to Asperger's syndrome, a mild variant of autism. But these theories carry little weight in Japan, where the disorder is considered culturally unique and is linked to violence.
Yuichi Hattori, M.A., a psychologist currently treating 18 patients with the disorder, believes that hikikomori is caused by emotionally neglectful parenting. Hattori argues that none of his patients had been sexually or physically abused, yet they all show signs of posttraumatic stress disorder.
Advertisement
As the cultural gap between Japan's youth and elders widens, some young Japanese may view their parents as too stony-faced and reserved. Hattori speaks of Japanese society's deep-rooted division between hone and tatemae--one's true feelings and one's actions--to illustrate the frustration his patients express toward aloof parents.
"Patients tell me their mothers have no emotions," says Hattori. "Six patients have called their parents zombies."
Hattori's findings, presented in November to the International Society for the Study of Dissociation, are reminiscent of the now-discredited theory of the "refrigerator mother," which attributed autism to a detached style of parenting.
"Hikikomori looks more to me like an extreme case of social anxiety," says David Kupfer, Ph.D., a psychologist with a private practice in Virginia. Emotionally unresponsive parents are only one of the factors involved in the development of this disorder, says Kupfer, who points out that "in Japan, the pressure to succeed is a unique cultural source of trauma."
For now, Eastern and Western psychologists agree only that hikikomori is unique to Japan and has serious ramifications for both generations.
COPYRIGHT 2003 Sussex Publishers, Inc.
COPYRIGHT 2003 Gale Group
The Three Faces of Cho Seung-Hui
Who's this man the news calls Cho Seung-Hui? Obvious this creep outcreeps me.
Oh, and listen to his views! They are more weird than my words!
What's with his brother QuestionMark? He spent all off 2006 creeping out his roomies on campus.
As for the new persona Ax Ishmael, he shot 30 people.
But never forget, Ax Ishmael and QuestionMark are merely personas Cho used to handle first loss of face over being put in a psychward, and later, the fact he had just killed 2 people and needed to kill as many people before he committed suicide.
Oh, and if this guy is so easy for an armchair psychologist like me to figure out, then how come the hikikomori explanation isn't popular?
Boy, am I glad this asshole went out in a "blaze of glory." Not.
Oh, and listen to his views! They are more weird than my words!
What's with his brother QuestionMark? He spent all off 2006 creeping out his roomies on campus.
As for the new persona Ax Ishmael, he shot 30 people.
But never forget, Ax Ishmael and QuestionMark are merely personas Cho used to handle first loss of face over being put in a psychward, and later, the fact he had just killed 2 people and needed to kill as many people before he committed suicide.
Oh, and if this guy is so easy for an armchair psychologist like me to figure out, then how come the hikikomori explanation isn't popular?
Boy, am I glad this asshole went out in a "blaze of glory." Not.
Things I've Learned from Seung Cho
- Bulletproof vest and cap backwards is not a good fashion style, especially with a Walther P22 in one hand and a Glock 19 in the other.
- Ditto with the knives!
- Why did it take shooting two people to get you to open up, Seung?
- So you were Seung-Hui Cho until about 2005, then Mr. QuestionMark for most of 2006? Who is Ax Ishmael?
- It's not love to want a woman all to yourself. It's a dangerous obsession.
- Never use a gun to get a woman to love you. Someone might end up dead.
- Who the heck is Seung-Hwi Cho? And is QuestionMark a daemon? Is Ax Ishmael a daemon?
- So how come there is no sequel? Wait! This is the sequel beginning with Columbine. As was Kimveer Gill's whimpy little duck shoot in Montreal!
- I might get respect cos my friends can now joke, "Watch out! Don't make Steve mad. He might go ballastic and do a Cho Seung-Hui!" Why am I not looking forward to this prospect?
- So when did a convocation become a moment for a black activist and poet to channel MLK?
- Look! Proof there is another man creepier than I am!!
20070418
The Myth of Seung-hui Cho's Life
"Of debauchery, deceitful Charlatans, religion, women and rich kids" — Seung-hui cho, April 16, 2007 7:37 AM
I was born on January 18, 1984.
In 1992, my parents and I emigrated to America. We spent our first year in Detroit. It was hell.
In 2003, I graduated from high school. I graduated from an honors school in Chantilly, VA.
Always I felt lonely, and screamed at by my father for being quiet
Between January 2007 and the first week of April 2007, I was infatuated with Emily. When she first rejected me back in March, I went and bought my first gun, a Glock 19.
Five weeks later, I bought a Walther P22, and a shitload of ammo.
This was just after Emily told me she no longer wanted to be my friend.
A few weeks ago, I was caught by the cops speeding on campus. They were going to tell my parents.
Between 5 am and 7:30 am, April 16, I contemplated a confrontation with Emily and strode into her dorm room around 6:45 AM. By 7:15AM she and Ryan were shot dead.
From 7:30 to 9:00 am, back in my dorm room, I wrote eight pages of my manifesto in which I spoke of debauchery, deceitful charlatans, religion, women and rich kids.
Then I sent a lot of videos and pictures to NBC News. I remember saying at one point,
"You had everything you wanted. Your Mercedes wasn't enough, you brats. Your golden necklaces weren't enough, you snobs. Your trust fund wasn't enough. Your vodka and cognac weren't enough. All your debaucheries weren't enough. Those weren't enough to fulfill your hedonistic needs. You had everything!"
Maybe I wrote in red ink, "Ismail Ax", on my arm. I don't remember; the memories are fading.
Sometime after 8:30 am, I rode into Blackburg to drop off my package to NBC News.
Between 9:01 and 9:25 am I drove from Blackburg to Norris Hall. It took me about 14 minutes to kill 30 more people and wound 15. Finally, as I heard the approach of the police, peace came to me as I shot myself in the head with the last bullet of my Glock. It musta been 9:50 am.
...
So what the hell am I doing in Heaven? Shouldn't I be in some kinda purgatory?
Earlier I hear a voice say to me, "Seung-hui Cho, come forward. Your pain is no more." Then memories of my previous existence flashed before me.
Any hope of closeness with my father disappeared when I was 7. "We will be ok in America," said my mother to me.
In Detroit, I vaguely remember being afraid of black men. But I don't know why I killed Ryan.
Once, a pretty American girl teased me when I was 13. Was that why I killed Emily?
How should I know?
In life, we suffer from birth to death. This is a fact of life. Yet, to avoid this truth, we practise debauchery while deceitful charlatans tried to tempt us, as though religion will save us from our own suffering.
Is it like the Muslims say that women bear the gateway to evil? Or, is it just ignorance?
And these rich kids? Why do they torment anyone who is different from them? Why are their riches not used to educate them to respect others who they deem lesser than they are?
I don't know. I don't care.
All I see around me is a bright light, and my memories of my past life are slowly fading...
Is the truth really that each person is loaned a soul at birth, only to be redeemed on death? If so, then am I returning to the Light?
As they too return to the Light, around me are 32 similar souls forgiving me. "Together we return to the Light, for we are as one."
"Jesus died for the sins of man, so that all people, especially sinners, are reborn in heaven."
"If a good man may be born into the Pure Land, then, should he repent from his old ways, so too may an evil man."
So, in murdering 32 innocent souls, is suicide truly repentance?
I was born on January 18, 1984.
In 1992, my parents and I emigrated to America. We spent our first year in Detroit. It was hell.
In 2003, I graduated from high school. I graduated from an honors school in Chantilly, VA.
Always I felt lonely, and screamed at by my father for being quiet
Between January 2007 and the first week of April 2007, I was infatuated with Emily. When she first rejected me back in March, I went and bought my first gun, a Glock 19.
Five weeks later, I bought a Walther P22, and a shitload of ammo.
This was just after Emily told me she no longer wanted to be my friend.
A few weeks ago, I was caught by the cops speeding on campus. They were going to tell my parents.
Between 5 am and 7:30 am, April 16, I contemplated a confrontation with Emily and strode into her dorm room around 6:45 AM. By 7:15AM she and Ryan were shot dead.
From 7:30 to 9:00 am, back in my dorm room, I wrote eight pages of my manifesto in which I spoke of debauchery, deceitful charlatans, religion, women and rich kids.
Then I sent a lot of videos and pictures to NBC News. I remember saying at one point,
"You had everything you wanted. Your Mercedes wasn't enough, you brats. Your golden necklaces weren't enough, you snobs. Your trust fund wasn't enough. Your vodka and cognac weren't enough. All your debaucheries weren't enough. Those weren't enough to fulfill your hedonistic needs. You had everything!"
Maybe I wrote in red ink, "Ismail Ax", on my arm. I don't remember; the memories are fading.
Sometime after 8:30 am, I rode into Blackburg to drop off my package to NBC News.
Between 9:01 and 9:25 am I drove from Blackburg to Norris Hall. It took me about 14 minutes to kill 30 more people and wound 15. Finally, as I heard the approach of the police, peace came to me as I shot myself in the head with the last bullet of my Glock. It musta been 9:50 am.
...
So what the hell am I doing in Heaven? Shouldn't I be in some kinda purgatory?
Earlier I hear a voice say to me, "Seung-hui Cho, come forward. Your pain is no more." Then memories of my previous existence flashed before me.
Any hope of closeness with my father disappeared when I was 7. "We will be ok in America," said my mother to me.
In Detroit, I vaguely remember being afraid of black men. But I don't know why I killed Ryan.
Once, a pretty American girl teased me when I was 13. Was that why I killed Emily?
How should I know?
In life, we suffer from birth to death. This is a fact of life. Yet, to avoid this truth, we practise debauchery while deceitful charlatans tried to tempt us, as though religion will save us from our own suffering.
Is it like the Muslims say that women bear the gateway to evil? Or, is it just ignorance?
And these rich kids? Why do they torment anyone who is different from them? Why are their riches not used to educate them to respect others who they deem lesser than they are?
I don't know. I don't care.
All I see around me is a bright light, and my memories of my past life are slowly fading...
Is the truth really that each person is loaned a soul at birth, only to be redeemed on death? If so, then am I returning to the Light?
As they too return to the Light, around me are 32 similar souls forgiving me. "Together we return to the Light, for we are as one."
"Jesus died for the sins of man, so that all people, especially sinners, are reborn in heaven."
"If a good man may be born into the Pure Land, then, should he repent from his old ways, so too may an evil man."
So, in murdering 32 innocent souls, is suicide truly repentance?
Sudden Change of a Killer
Roommates say Cho was lifting weights and got a very short haircut in the weeks just before the shootings. It now appears he may have been developing a new name as well. This metamorphasis, psychologists say, can be essential: the killer has to break utterly free of the real world, and his own, natural identity before he can act. By Tom Foreman, CNN Correspondent
On the early morning of April 16, 2007 Cho Seung-hui changed into A. Ismail. He left his dorm to shoot, possibly by accident, Ryan Clark, and immediately after, Emily Hilscher.
Then he returned to his room, wrote Ismail Ax on his arm, and signed A. Ismail on the package of his 8-page manifesto, photographs and videos he sent to NBC News in New York City.
Who is this A. Ismail who shot 30 more people and wounded 15 students?
Well, two hours before he began his rampage at Norris Hall at Virginia Tech, he might have been Cho Seung-Hui.
The previous year he was the mysterious Mr Question Mark. So since the fall of 2006 he was Mr Question Mark.
That means as of December 2005, he was no longer Cho Seung-hui but a mentally ill individual who was no longer the shy, retiring Seung.
Possibly as early as January 2007, he was Ismail Ax, and with each gun he bought, starting in February, that identity crystallized when he shot Ryan Clark and murdered Emily Hischler.
So as to the question about who Ismail Ax is, his original name was Cho Seung-hui who became Mr. Question Mark in 2006.
This means he knew not who he was in 2006. He wanted to be known as Question Mark.
Was it really Ibrihim, Ismail's Axe?
Is this the legacy of the War on Terrorism? Hell yeah!
33 martyrs felled by Ismail's Ax -- Ibrihim's legacy
QUOTE:
After the shootings, my best friend, a Korean-American lawyer in Washington, D.C., felt in his bones that somehow a Korean was responsible. He didn't know why. But, "one thing's for sure now," he said, "we can safely lay the model minority theme to rest."
-- Let It Be Some Other Asian, http://www.thenation.com/doc/20070430/lam_2
In local news, a Japanese couple who were substance abusing narks ended up dead many years ago. I know of a Japanese man who was bullied a lot who murdered a white guy outside a bar in Sechelt. Both my grandfathers were fine with domestic abuse, being of the Meiji era. My own dad liked to verbally abuse my mother. I know of a Japanese-Canadian Anglican priest who was a child abuser that preyed on boys and young men, telling them to not tell anyone what he did to them, "or they would burn in hell for lying." However, not one mass murderer.
Though, in feudal Japan, Japanese Christians were crucified and starved in the 1600s. But this was politics. The Shoguns were afraid they'd end up like China, America and S.E. Asia, another vassal state to the economic predation called "Colonization."
And yes, there were internecine warfare between rival clans prior to Oda Nobunaga's reign of terror.
One clan got wiped out merely for supporting Buddhism, and then using their faith to control the Emperor of the time, who had gone Buddhist.
So much for Shinto being merely a nature-loving sect.
How does this relate to a 23-yr-old nutbar acting like a black street tough with his trusty Walther P22 and Glock 19?
The warrior pose.
Violent is evil. I do not side with my samurai ancestry at all. All that was achieved from all that bloodshed in ancient times is a bureaucratic zombie bleeding the economy back in Japan dry today.
We need to stop shutting out the sun if we don't want to create another lost generation.
This is why I feel that the Chos hiding out in Virginia is not going to win points for bringing closure to this tragedy.
33 martyrs felled by Ismail's Ax -- Ibrihim's legacy. This is terrorism, people. Let's remember that.
The only way to beat terrorism is to rush the gun and run from the knife.
After the shootings, my best friend, a Korean-American lawyer in Washington, D.C., felt in his bones that somehow a Korean was responsible. He didn't know why. But, "one thing's for sure now," he said, "we can safely lay the model minority theme to rest."
-- Let It Be Some Other Asian, http://www.thenation.com/doc/20070430/lam_2
In local news, a Japanese couple who were substance abusing narks ended up dead many years ago. I know of a Japanese man who was bullied a lot who murdered a white guy outside a bar in Sechelt. Both my grandfathers were fine with domestic abuse, being of the Meiji era. My own dad liked to verbally abuse my mother. I know of a Japanese-Canadian Anglican priest who was a child abuser that preyed on boys and young men, telling them to not tell anyone what he did to them, "or they would burn in hell for lying." However, not one mass murderer.
Though, in feudal Japan, Japanese Christians were crucified and starved in the 1600s. But this was politics. The Shoguns were afraid they'd end up like China, America and S.E. Asia, another vassal state to the economic predation called "Colonization."
And yes, there were internecine warfare between rival clans prior to Oda Nobunaga's reign of terror.
One clan got wiped out merely for supporting Buddhism, and then using their faith to control the Emperor of the time, who had gone Buddhist.
So much for Shinto being merely a nature-loving sect.
How does this relate to a 23-yr-old nutbar acting like a black street tough with his trusty Walther P22 and Glock 19?
The warrior pose.
Violent is evil. I do not side with my samurai ancestry at all. All that was achieved from all that bloodshed in ancient times is a bureaucratic zombie bleeding the economy back in Japan dry today.
We need to stop shutting out the sun if we don't want to create another lost generation.
This is why I feel that the Chos hiding out in Virginia is not going to win points for bringing closure to this tragedy.
33 martyrs felled by Ismail's Ax -- Ibrihim's legacy. This is terrorism, people. Let's remember that.
The only way to beat terrorism is to rush the gun and run from the knife.
What to do if a gunman breaks into the classroom
A group of Texas security experts with a company called "Response Options" has made instructional video tapes showing a gunman bursting into a classroom and being swarmed by students. The instructors tell students to throw their books, book bags, desk and chairs using everything and anything to disrupt and take down a gunman. Robin Browne, a major with the British Army, helped design the training course and says it is necessary for students and teachers to throw themselves into the line of fire.
"This is not a burglar. This is not a bank robber," Browne said. "This is someone who has come onto school property with the express intention of using a deadly weapon to hurt and dominate people who cannot necessarily defend themselves." A person who enters a school, Browne said, "is in the same category as serial killers."
"We are dealing with a predator here and a predator, when he is offered prey and the prey gives in will take advantage of that prey," he said. "What we are teaching here is for the children to not allow the predator to take control. … They actually become the superior the dominant party in the room, and it is actually the gunman who becomes the prey."
Don't just sit there! Put yourself into the line of fire!
Throw books, desks, chairs, your knapsack, your laptop at him!!
Be fearless in the face of death and defend yourself!
At least that way, you are a brave and fearless martyr rather than another victim.
"This is not a burglar. This is not a bank robber," Browne said. "This is someone who has come onto school property with the express intention of using a deadly weapon to hurt and dominate people who cannot necessarily defend themselves." A person who enters a school, Browne said, "is in the same category as serial killers."
"We are dealing with a predator here and a predator, when he is offered prey and the prey gives in will take advantage of that prey," he said. "What we are teaching here is for the children to not allow the predator to take control. … They actually become the superior the dominant party in the room, and it is actually the gunman who becomes the prey."
Don't just sit there! Put yourself into the line of fire!
Throw books, desks, chairs, your knapsack, your laptop at him!!
Be fearless in the face of death and defend yourself!
At least that way, you are a brave and fearless martyr rather than another victim.
The Myth of Sociopaths As Soulless
Intellectualize it all you want, she says, but conscience is based on love. It's only a heartbeat from there to conjecturing that conscience — "the nexus of psychology and spirituality" — is science's name for the soul. Since her professional qualifications do not permit her to make pronouncements on metaphysical matters, Martha is skittish about coming out with it, but it's apparent from this equivalence that psychopaths must be soulless. Science has no cure for such a thing. -- Paul Kiel, review of The Sociopath Next Door, by Martha Stout
While conscience is based on love, that love hints at "having a soul." However, to define "conscience" as "the soul," Kiel is muddying the waters.
IMHO the soul is that which is constructed by God, and loaned to a person at birth. By age 4, when the child has the theory of mind figured out, the soul has all it needs to develop conscience in the mind.
Thus conscience is "a sense of obligation ultimately based in an emotional attachment to others". Yet it is formed by the mind in response to both verbal and non-verbal cues.
Philosophically-speaking, a sociopath does have a soul. However, his soul is "obscured" by an ignorance about the ramifications of his inaction - given that all people are at heart good, and that evil is the result of inaction of inherently good people.
Likewise, it is possible for a sociopath to develop a conscience, but it takes longer for him to develop one than other people.
It can also be added that sociopathy is like a form of autism in that all the lies and manipulation obscure the sociopath's ability to empathize with other people.
Just think of it as a moral autism, or what the Buddhists call spiritual ignorance.
Thus sociopaths are not soulless.
While conscience is based on love, that love hints at "having a soul." However, to define "conscience" as "the soul," Kiel is muddying the waters.
IMHO the soul is that which is constructed by God, and loaned to a person at birth. By age 4, when the child has the theory of mind figured out, the soul has all it needs to develop conscience in the mind.
Thus conscience is "a sense of obligation ultimately based in an emotional attachment to others". Yet it is formed by the mind in response to both verbal and non-verbal cues.
Philosophically-speaking, a sociopath does have a soul. However, his soul is "obscured" by an ignorance about the ramifications of his inaction - given that all people are at heart good, and that evil is the result of inaction of inherently good people.
Likewise, it is possible for a sociopath to develop a conscience, but it takes longer for him to develop one than other people.
It can also be added that sociopathy is like a form of autism in that all the lies and manipulation obscure the sociopath's ability to empathize with other people.
Just think of it as a moral autism, or what the Buddhists call spiritual ignorance.
Thus sociopaths are not soulless.
20070417
Vive Libre the 33 Martyrs at Virginia Tech! ISMAIL AX!
Please hug an Asian today.
Seung-hui Cho too is going to heaven, since this world as we know it was his hell.
How this can be prevented: endeavor to socialize any one who chooses to hide from the world outside, protect them and yourselves from bullies, display honesty and sincerity, refraining from using privilege of social status to abuse or subject to abuse other people, moderating substance use - be it alcohol, tobacco etc, reporting hate crime - no matter how trivial, practising religious tolerance...
Seung-Hui Cho - complained of debauchery, deceitful charlatans and rich kids.
In avoiding him, we failed him. In laughing at him, we failed him. In letting him be, we failed him.
Contrary to how the media wants it painted, I do not see victims here at VTech. I see 33 martyrs.
Here are the 33 who died at Virginia Tech:
_ Ross Abdallah Alameddine, 20, of Saugus, Mass., according to his mother, Lynnette Alameddine.
_ Christopher James Bishop, 35, according to Darmstadt University of Technology in Germany, where he helped run an exchange program.
_ Brian Bluhm, 25, formerly of Detroit, according to friend Michael Marshall. His death also was announced before the Detroit-Kansas City baseball game.
_ Seung-Hui Cho, 23, Centreville, VA. The lone gunman graduated with honors from high school. An English major, he had written two plays which hinted at his inner struggle with his personal demons. In his eight-page statement, he railed against debauchery, deceitful charlatans, religion, and rich kids. After his death, he was found with a Glock 19, a Walther P22 and the words "Ismail Ax" in red ink written on his arm.
_ Ryan Clark, 22, of Martinez, Ga., biology and English major, according to Columbia County Coroner Vernon Collins.
_ Austin Cloyd, an international studies major from Blacksburg, Va., according tojavascript:void(0) Terry Harter, senior pastor at First United Methodist Church in Champaign, Ill., where Cloyd and her family lived before moving to Blacksburg.
_ Jocelyne Couture-Nowak, a French instructor, according to her husband, Jerzy Nowak, the head of the horticulture department at Virginia Tech.
_ Daniel Perez Cueva, 21, killed in his French class, according to his mother, Betty Cueva, of Peru.
_ Kevin Granata, age 45, engineering science and mechanics professor, according to Ishwar K. Puri, the head of the engineering science and mechanics department.
_ Caitlin Hammaren, 19, of Westtown, N.Y., a sophomore majoring in international studies and French, according to Minisink Valley, N.Y., school officials who spoke with Hammaren's family.
_ Jeremy Herbstritt, 27, of Bellefonte, Pa., according to Penn State University, his alma mater and his father's employer.
_ Rachael Hill, 18, of Glen Allen, Va., according to her father, Guy Hill.
_ Emily Jane Hilscher, a 19-year-old freshman from Woodville, according to Rappahannock County Administrator John W. McCarthy, a family friend.
_ Jarrett L. Lane, according to Riffe's Funeral Service Inc. in Narrows, Va.
_ Matthew J. La Porte, 20, a freshman from Dumont, N.J., according to Dumont Police Chief Brian Venezio.
_ Liviu Librescu, 76, engineering science and mathematics lecturer, according to Puri.
_ G.V. Loganathan, 51, civil and environmental engineering professor, according to his brother G.V. Palanivel.
_ Partahi Lumbantoruan, 34, of Indonesia, civil engineering doctoral student, according to Kristiarto Legowo, a spokesman for the Indonesian foreign ministry.
_ Lauren McCain, 20, of Hampton, Va., international studies major, according to a statement from the family.
_ Daniel O'Neil, 22, of Rhode Island, according to close friend Steve Craveiro and according to Eric Cardenas of Connecticut College, where O'Neil's father, Bill, is director of major gifts.
_ Juan Ramon Ortiz, a 26-year-old graduate student in engineering from Bayamon, Puerto Rico, according to his wife, Liselle Vega Cortes.
_ Mary Karen Read, 19, of Annandale, Va. according to her aunt, Karen Kuppinger, of Rochester, N.Y.
_ Reema J. Samaha, 18, a freshman from Centreville, Va., according to her family.
May they all rest in peace.
Seung-hui Cho too is going to heaven, since this world as we know it was his hell.
How this can be prevented: endeavor to socialize any one who chooses to hide from the world outside, protect them and yourselves from bullies, display honesty and sincerity, refraining from using privilege of social status to abuse or subject to abuse other people, moderating substance use - be it alcohol, tobacco etc, reporting hate crime - no matter how trivial, practising religious tolerance...
Seung-Hui Cho - complained of debauchery, deceitful charlatans and rich kids.
In avoiding him, we failed him. In laughing at him, we failed him. In letting him be, we failed him.
Contrary to how the media wants it painted, I do not see victims here at VTech. I see 33 martyrs.
Here are the 33 who died at Virginia Tech:
_ Ross Abdallah Alameddine, 20, of Saugus, Mass., according to his mother, Lynnette Alameddine.
_ Christopher James Bishop, 35, according to Darmstadt University of Technology in Germany, where he helped run an exchange program.
_ Brian Bluhm, 25, formerly of Detroit, according to friend Michael Marshall. His death also was announced before the Detroit-Kansas City baseball game.
_ Seung-Hui Cho, 23, Centreville, VA. The lone gunman graduated with honors from high school. An English major, he had written two plays which hinted at his inner struggle with his personal demons. In his eight-page statement, he railed against debauchery, deceitful charlatans, religion, and rich kids. After his death, he was found with a Glock 19, a Walther P22 and the words "Ismail Ax" in red ink written on his arm.
_ Ryan Clark, 22, of Martinez, Ga., biology and English major, according to Columbia County Coroner Vernon Collins.
_ Austin Cloyd, an international studies major from Blacksburg, Va., according tojavascript:void(0) Terry Harter, senior pastor at First United Methodist Church in Champaign, Ill., where Cloyd and her family lived before moving to Blacksburg.
_ Jocelyne Couture-Nowak, a French instructor, according to her husband, Jerzy Nowak, the head of the horticulture department at Virginia Tech.
_ Daniel Perez Cueva, 21, killed in his French class, according to his mother, Betty Cueva, of Peru.
_ Kevin Granata, age 45, engineering science and mechanics professor, according to Ishwar K. Puri, the head of the engineering science and mechanics department.
_ Caitlin Hammaren, 19, of Westtown, N.Y., a sophomore majoring in international studies and French, according to Minisink Valley, N.Y., school officials who spoke with Hammaren's family.
_ Jeremy Herbstritt, 27, of Bellefonte, Pa., according to Penn State University, his alma mater and his father's employer.
_ Rachael Hill, 18, of Glen Allen, Va., according to her father, Guy Hill.
_ Emily Jane Hilscher, a 19-year-old freshman from Woodville, according to Rappahannock County Administrator John W. McCarthy, a family friend.
_ Jarrett L. Lane, according to Riffe's Funeral Service Inc. in Narrows, Va.
_ Matthew J. La Porte, 20, a freshman from Dumont, N.J., according to Dumont Police Chief Brian Venezio.
_ Liviu Librescu, 76, engineering science and mathematics lecturer, according to Puri.
_ G.V. Loganathan, 51, civil and environmental engineering professor, according to his brother G.V. Palanivel.
_ Partahi Lumbantoruan, 34, of Indonesia, civil engineering doctoral student, according to Kristiarto Legowo, a spokesman for the Indonesian foreign ministry.
_ Lauren McCain, 20, of Hampton, Va., international studies major, according to a statement from the family.
_ Daniel O'Neil, 22, of Rhode Island, according to close friend Steve Craveiro and according to Eric Cardenas of Connecticut College, where O'Neil's father, Bill, is director of major gifts.
_ Juan Ramon Ortiz, a 26-year-old graduate student in engineering from Bayamon, Puerto Rico, according to his wife, Liselle Vega Cortes.
_ Mary Karen Read, 19, of Annandale, Va. according to her aunt, Karen Kuppinger, of Rochester, N.Y.
_ Reema J. Samaha, 18, a freshman from Centreville, Va., according to her family.
May they all rest in peace.
"You caused me to do this!"
The two guns Cho carried on him when found by police:
Glock 19
Walther P22
30 people were shot by a lone gunman at two campus locations before the gunman died.
Unknown at this time is motive for shooting and how the gunman died.
Campus authorities waited two hours before issuing a warning to students, just as an engineering building was targeted by the lone gunman.
Originally, the gunman had opened fired on the fourth floor of a dormitory about 1/2 mile from his final standoff.
In addition, 26 people were wounded.
See what happens when a gun nut believes strongly in his right to bear arms?
UPDATE: 2:32 PM April 17, 2007:
According to recent reports, the following is a good picture of the gunman.
Cho Seung-Hui, a South Korean permanent resident, had apparently bought a gun, a Glock 19, in a gun shop back in March. Five weeks later, he bought a second gun, a Walther P22.
In his rambling letter, all three pages of it, he blamed others for his rampage, writing, "You caused me to do this."
As well, he ranted about debauchery, deceitful charlatans, and rich kids. So in a sense, the possible reason for his rampage was the apparent immorality of his peers on campus.
So let's call this shooting what sometimes happens when hikikomori happens on American soil.
Maybe it's time to befriend a loner before he turns evil and identifies with a Qutbian terrorist.
Glock 19
Walther P22
30 people were shot by a lone gunman at two campus locations before the gunman died.
Unknown at this time is motive for shooting and how the gunman died.
Campus authorities waited two hours before issuing a warning to students, just as an engineering building was targeted by the lone gunman.
Originally, the gunman had opened fired on the fourth floor of a dormitory about 1/2 mile from his final standoff.
In addition, 26 people were wounded.
See what happens when a gun nut believes strongly in his right to bear arms?
UPDATE: 2:32 PM April 17, 2007:
According to recent reports, the following is a good picture of the gunman.
Cho Seung-Hui, a South Korean permanent resident, had apparently bought a gun, a Glock 19, in a gun shop back in March. Five weeks later, he bought a second gun, a Walther P22.
In his rambling letter, all three pages of it, he blamed others for his rampage, writing, "You caused me to do this."
As well, he ranted about debauchery, deceitful charlatans, and rich kids. So in a sense, the possible reason for his rampage was the apparent immorality of his peers on campus.
So let's call this shooting what sometimes happens when hikikomori happens on American soil.
Maybe it's time to befriend a loner before he turns evil and identifies with a Qutbian terrorist.
A pleasant hallucinogen
Now available at your doctor is Remeron, which brings on visual hallucinations, and good vibes.
Take for example this bloke, who discovered a novel hallucinogen in an antidepressant. Oh, and Remeron might ruin your libido and cause Zoloft-induced priapism.
A few months back I had seen my doctor about general anxiety. I was having a great deal of unwanted and unwarranted stress. Everyone goes through this from time to time, and I decided to give modern pharmacology a try. I'm impatient so I didn't want to work through it.
My doctor prescribed a generous amount of Xanax to deal with my immediate stress and Remeron as a longer lasting agent. I didn't want to take an anti-depressant, but he assured me that it would work well after it had gotten into my system. I was to take it before bed every night for at least two weeks. I felt the effect on the very first night.
I took my dose an hour before bed and it kicked in after only 30 minutes. The power LED on my air purifier turned from green to red and started to create wisps of red smoke. I rubbed my eyes and sat up. It was still there. By this time, everything was extremely vivid and flowing, if not constant.
The smoke now resembled a flowing red cape, like Spawn's. It enveloped my entire field of vision. I wanted to stay awake but it did make me a little drowsy. Despite the intensity of the hallucinations, I felt pretty good about them. This drug is definitely weird stuff. These persistent hallucinations weren't perceptual oddities, they were fully constructed and very long lasting.
These 'visions' persisted each and every time I took a dose. I rather enjoyed the visuals, so I began taking it earlier so I could stay awake and enjoy the experience. The scary thing about the stuff was how complacent it made me while it fried my brain. I decided to stop, since the 'side effects' were becoming more pronounced (think opposite of male enhancement).
After a week of not taking this stuff, I left on vacation to visit friends. I brought the Remeron with me, even though I wasn't using it. Having quite a few left, I passed them around like M&M's, curious if the effects would be the same. Sure enough, the reports were glowing. Everyone, five in all, that took one had intense visual hallucinations and a sense of well being.
I fully support drugs that create pleasant side effects. The problem with this one was the lack of warning. In my humble opinion, Remeron might just be a milder and faster acting alternative to harder hallucinogens.
The complete heads-up on Remeron is here at Wikipedia.
Please note that if you are unprepared for the hallucinations, and visit Emergency, they might conclude psychosis and convince you to go on an anti-psychotic.
So don't mention the visions, just the pleasant well-being and the 12 hours of delicious sleep. 15 mg is all you really need.
20070416
Update of my meds
Well, I've added two more supplements. First, I've updated my 5HTP supplement after the previous supply ended. Second, I've added a new energy supplement.
Natures Harmony 5-HTP 50 mg/capsule, 90 capsules; no more than 2 capsules a day.
Genuine Health extra energy 90 tablets; 3 tablets a day.
Here's what extra energy has in it:
Taurine 1000 mg
Cola acuminata: Kola nut seed extract (standardized to 10% naturally occurring caffeine) 800 mg
Vitamin C (calcium ascorbate) 500 mg
Centella asiatica: Gotu kola herb powder 250 mg
L-Tyrosine 250 mg
Glycine 250 mg
Rhodiola rosea root extract (standardized to 3% rosavin) 135 mg
Pfaffia paniculata: Suma root powder 100 mg
Astragalus membranaceus root powder 100 mg
Vitamin B6 (pyridoxine HCl) 25 mg
Chromium (aspartate) 50 mcg
The rhodiola extract is an anti-depressant, as is glycine. On the second day of taking this supplement, my mood has improved. I'll know in a week if it's a placebo effect or an actual improvement caused by the supplement.
Pfaffia and astragalus are for stress.
Tyrosine helps supplement dopamine, noradrenalin and adrenalin.
Natures Harmony 5-HTP 50 mg/capsule, 90 capsules; no more than 2 capsules a day.
Genuine Health extra energy 90 tablets; 3 tablets a day.
Here's what extra energy has in it:
Taurine 1000 mg
Cola acuminata: Kola nut seed extract (standardized to 10% naturally occurring caffeine) 800 mg
Vitamin C (calcium ascorbate) 500 mg
Centella asiatica: Gotu kola herb powder 250 mg
L-Tyrosine 250 mg
Glycine 250 mg
Rhodiola rosea root extract (standardized to 3% rosavin) 135 mg
Pfaffia paniculata: Suma root powder 100 mg
Astragalus membranaceus root powder 100 mg
Vitamin B6 (pyridoxine HCl) 25 mg
Chromium (aspartate) 50 mcg
The rhodiola extract is an anti-depressant, as is glycine. On the second day of taking this supplement, my mood has improved. I'll know in a week if it's a placebo effect or an actual improvement caused by the supplement.
Pfaffia and astragalus are for stress.
Tyrosine helps supplement dopamine, noradrenalin and adrenalin.
Gurjeet Dhahan: "Girls will make a decision for themselves. Girls never made a decision before. Now's the time to do that."
The Indo Canadian woman who was shot twice in the head back in October 2006 by her estranged husband is speaking out against domestic abuse by Indo-Canadian men.
Gurjeet Dhahan may be blind, but she's outspoken.
After she comes back from her vacation in the UK, she'll be ready to urge changes in the Indo-Canadian community.
Hopefully her outspokenness won't put her on the radar by any misogynist Indo-Canadian males.
Gurjeet Dhahan may be blind, but she's outspoken.
After she comes back from her vacation in the UK, she'll be ready to urge changes in the Indo-Canadian community.
Hopefully her outspokenness won't put her on the radar by any misogynist Indo-Canadian males.
20070414
The Essence of the Buddhadharma
"When the mind begins to become still, we then begin to truly see it. When you first try to stabilize and pacify the mind, initially it will become very busy because it’s not accustomed to being still. In fact, it doesn’t even necessarily want to become still, but it is essential to get a hold of the mind to recognize its nature. This practice is extremely important. ... Eventually you will find yourself in a state where your mind is clear and open all the time. It is just like when the clouds are removed from the sky and the sun can clearly be seen, shining all the time. This is coming close to the state of liberation, liberation from all traces of suffering. ... The truth of this practice is universal. It isn’t necessary to call it a religion to practice it. Whether one is a Hindu or a Moslem or a Christian or a Buddhist simply doesn’t matter. Anyone can practice this because this is the nature of the mind, the nature of everyone’s mind. If you can get a handle on your mind, and pacify it in this way, you will definitely experience these results, and you will see them in your daily life situation. There is no need to put this into any kind of category, any kind of "ism."
Venerable Gyatrul RinpocheList of websites I am banned from
Clubvibes.com, Clubzone.com, Fnk.ca, and now, Adultfriendfinders.com -- and I've had death threats from AFF, too.
Well, my rationalization is that by voicing my inner voice (honne - ho-neh) too boldly, I was branded a troublemaker.
So much for equality and self expression in Western culture. It's all lip service, a form of American tatemae.
It's almost indistinguishable from Japanese culture!!!
Well, my rationalization is that by voicing my inner voice (honne - ho-neh) too boldly, I was branded a troublemaker.
So much for equality and self expression in Western culture. It's all lip service, a form of American tatemae.
It's almost indistinguishable from Japanese culture!!!
Being Japanese
Being Japanese is uniquely unique. Thus social obligation (giri) is something only the Japanese can truly understand.
Likewise, the subtlety of ninjo (human compassion) can only be experienced by the Japanese, or by someone who has a strong sense of duty.
Thus is it difficult for someone not born Japanese to truly know what it is to be Japanese.
Fo the casual Western observer would first be impressed by my exquisite manners, only to consider it superficial and me, a hypocrite.
Yet am I finding that even the West is subtly turning Japanese, especially when I allow myself to express honne.
Likewise, the subtlety of ninjo (human compassion) can only be experienced by the Japanese, or by someone who has a strong sense of duty.
Thus is it difficult for someone not born Japanese to truly know what it is to be Japanese.
Fo the casual Western observer would first be impressed by my exquisite manners, only to consider it superficial and me, a hypocrite.
Yet am I finding that even the West is subtly turning Japanese, especially when I allow myself to express honne.
Makoto, Honne and Tatemae : Sincerity and the Inner & Outer Voices
In Japanese culture, honesty is not sincerity.
Honesty arises from honne, the personal voice. Thus it is only shared between intimates.
Sincerity may arise from tatemae, yet appears superficial and hypocritical to a Westerner. It is the public voice of a Japanese person, and often is at odds with his personal voice.
If the personal voice is at odds with public opinion, then the person's public voice may reflect that opinion while the person's public actions might say otherwise.
Thus you might have a Japanese person declare that he agrees with the government that pot-smoking should remain illegal, but may indulge in the habit privately with his 420 friends.
While he may personally find the drug laws to have made illegal drugs more dangerous, the occasional liberal Japanese will not publicly protest the drug laws.
And yes, he may even find anarchy "liberating" but will not be at any neo-left protests.
Thus in utmost sincerity the Japanese will protest against State oppression while honestly proclaiming patriotism.
Honesty arises from honne, the personal voice. Thus it is only shared between intimates.
Sincerity may arise from tatemae, yet appears superficial and hypocritical to a Westerner. It is the public voice of a Japanese person, and often is at odds with his personal voice.
If the personal voice is at odds with public opinion, then the person's public voice may reflect that opinion while the person's public actions might say otherwise.
Thus you might have a Japanese person declare that he agrees with the government that pot-smoking should remain illegal, but may indulge in the habit privately with his 420 friends.
While he may personally find the drug laws to have made illegal drugs more dangerous, the occasional liberal Japanese will not publicly protest the drug laws.
And yes, he may even find anarchy "liberating" but will not be at any neo-left protests.
Thus in utmost sincerity the Japanese will protest against State oppression while honestly proclaiming patriotism.
The Pool of Fresh-Water Shrimps
Between 1972 and 1976, fresh-water shrimps in a mason jar was brought to my alma mater, Aldergrove Secondary School, now known in PC terms as Aldergrove Community High School.
Oddly though, no rival high school in School District #35 ever called us assholes.
I guess scatological terms of endearment were frowned upon as they are today, except in the politically correct times of the post-modern era, defenders of morality are apt to add "community" to prevent the stink of scatological terms.
Anyways, I digress.
At one time during the 1970s, fresh-water shrimps used to abound in an unknown pond, supposedly near the high school.
While it is unknown if over the next 30 years, pollution got so bad in Aldergrove that the shrimps died out, it is more probable that development might have polluted any fresh water springs in the immediate area, possibly due to contamination by fertilizers, herbicides and pesticides.
I am not even sure if frogs are known to still make their loud mating calls at night in the area.
Oyasama The Ultimate Relief from Psychic Pain
With sincere uttering
of His Name, His call to me,
Oyasama removes all pain of guilt
until no shame remains.
For it is not I
saying His Name sincerely -
He alone calls through me:
"Namu Amida Butsu!"
20070410
Masturbation and Phallus Worship
Finally, a little religious mantra for what I do best at night:
NARACHASTRA PRAYOGA Sanskrit
Men who worship their own sexual organs.
SENZURI Japanese
Male masturbation (literally "a hundred rubs"). "Shiko shiko manzuri" is the female version (literally "ten thousand rubs").
Hm... if zuri means rubs, then "sen" means "a hundred" and "man", "ten thousand". But I thought "shiko" means "urine." Maybe it means "sexual secretions."
Thus, a man may take a hundred strokes while a woman attains her satisfaction ten thousand times.
20070409
Tears...
When you experience someone's love and cry tears,
that is because God has moved you.
When His Love fills your heart,
each tear is Him crying out in compassion.
For a human being shows compassion
only through the grace of God.
that is because God has moved you.
When His Love fills your heart,
each tear is Him crying out in compassion.
For a human being shows compassion
only through the grace of God.
Life for Drug Dealers and Traffickers
For all dangerous drugs, excluding cannabis, the penalty should be a life sentence.
This includes alcohol and tobacco, and applies to legitimate sellers of alcohol and tobacco too.
Suspected drug dealers would also include doctors and psychiatrists too, since some prescription drugs (benzodiazepines, certain neuroleptics and anti-depressants) are potentially harmful too.
Such a penalty would also convict alcohol and tobacco manufacturers, who could offer a substantial fine in lieu of their CEO.
Life for all dangerous drugs. It's the most sane solution.
This includes alcohol and tobacco, and applies to legitimate sellers of alcohol and tobacco too.
Suspected drug dealers would also include doctors and psychiatrists too, since some prescription drugs (benzodiazepines, certain neuroleptics and anti-depressants) are potentially harmful too.
Such a penalty would also convict alcohol and tobacco manufacturers, who could offer a substantial fine in lieu of their CEO.
Life for all dangerous drugs. It's the most sane solution.
20070408
Dealing with Insults and Anger
When someone insults us, we usually dwell on it, asking ourselves, "Why did he say that to me?" and on and on. It's as if someone shoots an arrow at us, but it falls short. Focusing on the problem is like picking up the arrow and repeatedly stabbing ourselves with it saying, "He hurt me so much. I can't believe he did that." Instead, we can use the method of contemplation to think things through differently, to change our habit of reacting with anger. Imagine that someone insults you. Say to yourself, "This person makes me angry. But what is anger? It is one of the poisons of the mind that creates negative karma, leading to intense suffering. Meeting anger with anger is like following a lunatic who jumps off a cliff. Do I have to do likewise? While it's crazy for him to act the way he does, it's even crazier for me to do the same." - Chagdud Tulku
War is Hell
War is hell,
so that the rich
who profit from war
may pave their way
to heaven in relative peace
in their homelands.
so that the rich
who profit from war
may pave their way
to heaven in relative peace
in their homelands.
20070407
Amae: Is it truly loving?
Students of Japan have commonly accepted the claim that Amae (indulgent dependency) is distinctive to the production and reproduction of Japanese culture. The assumption is that all Japanese social bonding is patterned after the primary mother-child experience. The results of affect-control simulations suggest a complex scenario in which young American boys are trained to be independent, but young American girls are encouraged to display dependence. American mothers who attempt to confirm their identities through optimal behaviors with children who act outside of the normal child's role create little boys who rebel and little girls who are docile if they follow the Japanese rules of behaving. An American mother best confirms her identity as a mother by coaching her child — an act that implies independence training. A Japanese mother is expected to carry or hug her child as connotated (suggested) by the dependence inherent in amae. The Japanese simulation mimics the overprotective and overindulgent attitudes of Japanese mothers. The Japanese mother who supervises or monitors her child is rewarded with uniquely identity confirming responses like clinging and serving behaviors from the child not predicted for mothers and children in the United States.
By carrying and hugging a child, the mother will inculcate dependence in that child.
Through such loving action, the child experiences protection from its mother. By indulging the child, the mother will be rewarded with willing servitude by her child.
In supervising and monitoring her child, the mother will have her identity intimately confirmed by such behavior.
Thus is a loving bond between mother and child be forged, much stronger than Western ideals can afford.
By carrying and hugging a child, the mother will inculcate dependence in that child.
Through such loving action, the child experiences protection from its mother. By indulging the child, the mother will be rewarded with willing servitude by her child.
In supervising and monitoring her child, the mother will have her identity intimately confirmed by such behavior.
Thus is a loving bond between mother and child be forged, much stronger than Western ideals can afford.
Form is Emptiness; Emptiness form...
Form i.e. the brain and the body; sensation or feeling; perception or cognition; mental formations; and consciousness. These five aggregates compromise the Non-Self (anatta).
Thus they are not the True Self, Buddha Nature itself.
Yet each individual, being compromised of anatta, still contain Buddha Nature.
Is Buddha Nature, being the True Self, a soul? Not in any sense of being permanent, for even the True Self is transient.
For even though a "soul" may be reborn, it's not the same as the original soul aeons ago. For the same soul is not "born". Rather, one returns to the mind continuum and is "reborn" according to your karma.
For Mind has gained experiences from a lifetime of experiences, and these experiences may be considered in essence the journey from the causal act that leads to the karmic effect.
Thus the form is emptiness and emptiness form.
Thus they are not the True Self, Buddha Nature itself.
Yet each individual, being compromised of anatta, still contain Buddha Nature.
Is Buddha Nature, being the True Self, a soul? Not in any sense of being permanent, for even the True Self is transient.
For even though a "soul" may be reborn, it's not the same as the original soul aeons ago. For the same soul is not "born". Rather, one returns to the mind continuum and is "reborn" according to your karma.
For Mind has gained experiences from a lifetime of experiences, and these experiences may be considered in essence the journey from the causal act that leads to the karmic effect.
Thus the form is emptiness and emptiness form.
Conquering Abandonment Through Buddhism
Within the context of Buddhism, specifically the Pure Land form, abandonment is a delusion since Oyasama (Amida Nyorai) unconditionally accepts us all without judgment.
All the Nembutsu practitioner need do is recite the Name when she feels as though she does not exist in this Saha world.
By doing so, it is as though Amida embraces her unconditionally.
Hence, the Nembutsu practice conquers abandonment through recitation of the Name-that-calls.
Indeed, in uttering the Name-that-calls, the practitioner is voicing Amida's call to her.
In saying "Namu Amida Butsu", the Nembutsu practitioner is embraced unconditionally by Amida.
In this way, she conquers abandonment.
All the Nembutsu practitioner need do is recite the Name when she feels as though she does not exist in this Saha world.
By doing so, it is as though Amida embraces her unconditionally.
Hence, the Nembutsu practice conquers abandonment through recitation of the Name-that-calls.
Indeed, in uttering the Name-that-calls, the practitioner is voicing Amida's call to her.
In saying "Namu Amida Butsu", the Nembutsu practitioner is embraced unconditionally by Amida.
In this way, she conquers abandonment.
Why I Didn't Take Meds
Regarding meds, my doc (GP) strongly objects to me being medicated with any psychotropic medications, due to the risk of addiction (from benzos), discontinuation/withdrawal syndrome (of anti-depressants) etc.
He even advised against anti-psychotics.
During my recent visit to him, he stated twice that borderline personality disorder counterindicates against medication because, from what I have discovered from my research, of being comorbid with suicide *when medicated*.
Basically, a BPD person would threaten to OD on meds because the pdoc (psychiatrist) isn't competent enough to do him any good. And proof of such incompetence is giving him drugs that could kill him in the first place!
Though, in my case, I have never had therapy by a shrink nor have I ever exhibited any of the behavior that make most shrinks "give up" on BPD people.
IMHO most of the meds just "manufacture" the illness e.g. cause side effects which may be rationalized as "symptoms of the diagnosed mental disorder" by the pdoc.
Untrue. Most behaviors are side effects of the medication in that the meds amplify what were once eccentric behaviors.
I have a friend whose medication renders him able to "talk to himself" - he can hold a lucid conversation with his invisible friend, including "channelling" his "friend and his replies- which may be a drug-induced mania or psychosis and is possibly evidence of a neuroleptic being administered at a higher dose than it ought to be.
When he is off his meds, he has difficulty communicating which sometimes leaves him so frustrated he will hit inanimate objects, be it his computer monitor or dashboard of a car. This too is effect of the meds.
Prior to the meds he was shy, socially withdrawn, yet of a high intellect. The fact that he is now able to communicate more freely shows to me that he is still intelligent. However, he requires therapy but avoids it - he even avoided meditation training while initially hospitalized.
What really works for me for therapy is sleep: benadryl 50 mg when I absolutely want sleep.
However, what really works is marijuana. 2 puffs and my sleep cycle is normalized for 48 hours. After 48 hours, the chronic insomnia is back with a vengeance. However, I do not take marijuana regularly because my roommates have noticed my sleep behavior.
The good news is, I am of the 75% of people who is not negatively affected by 9-THC i.e. no psychosis, no hallucinations, no mania.
In contrast, the first time I took two 50 mg of Gravol I had a minor "trip". So I am strict with the benadryl.
As of December 23, 2012, I only take gabapentin and flexeril - been taking both for about a year and it is better than mirtazapine.
I only use benedryl in emergencies.
As of now I only have cetirizine for the case of flu, when every breath is filled with mucus and wheezing.
Other than that, I feel that I am less incapacitated by my curren nightly dose of 100 mg gabapentin and 10 mg of flexeril.
This reigiment follows my Less is More philosophy towards drugs of all kinds.
For I believe strongly that the more is better philoosphy is deadly.
He even advised against anti-psychotics.
During my recent visit to him, he stated twice that borderline personality disorder counterindicates against medication because, from what I have discovered from my research, of being comorbid with suicide *when medicated*.
Basically, a BPD person would threaten to OD on meds because the pdoc (psychiatrist) isn't competent enough to do him any good. And proof of such incompetence is giving him drugs that could kill him in the first place!
Though, in my case, I have never had therapy by a shrink nor have I ever exhibited any of the behavior that make most shrinks "give up" on BPD people.
IMHO most of the meds just "manufacture" the illness e.g. cause side effects which may be rationalized as "symptoms of the diagnosed mental disorder" by the pdoc.
Untrue. Most behaviors are side effects of the medication in that the meds amplify what were once eccentric behaviors.
I have a friend whose medication renders him able to "talk to himself" - he can hold a lucid conversation with his invisible friend, including "channelling" his "friend and his replies- which may be a drug-induced mania or psychosis and is possibly evidence of a neuroleptic being administered at a higher dose than it ought to be.
When he is off his meds, he has difficulty communicating which sometimes leaves him so frustrated he will hit inanimate objects, be it his computer monitor or dashboard of a car. This too is effect of the meds.
Prior to the meds he was shy, socially withdrawn, yet of a high intellect. The fact that he is now able to communicate more freely shows to me that he is still intelligent. However, he requires therapy but avoids it - he even avoided meditation training while initially hospitalized.
What really works for me for therapy is sleep: benadryl 50 mg when I absolutely want sleep.
However, what really works is marijuana. 2 puffs and my sleep cycle is normalized for 48 hours. After 48 hours, the chronic insomnia is back with a vengeance. However, I do not take marijuana regularly because my roommates have noticed my sleep behavior.
The good news is, I am of the 75% of people who is not negatively affected by 9-THC i.e. no psychosis, no hallucinations, no mania.
In contrast, the first time I took two 50 mg of Gravol I had a minor "trip". So I am strict with the benadryl.
As of December 23, 2012, I only take gabapentin and flexeril - been taking both for about a year and it is better than mirtazapine.
I only use benedryl in emergencies.
As of now I only have cetirizine for the case of flu, when every breath is filled with mucus and wheezing.
Other than that, I feel that I am less incapacitated by my curren nightly dose of 100 mg gabapentin and 10 mg of flexeril.
This reigiment follows my Less is More philosophy towards drugs of all kinds.
For I believe strongly that the more is better philoosphy is deadly.
20070404
Busting the Gateway Myth about Marijuana
"Cannabis itself is not a cause of other drug use." --
CANNABIS : OUR POSITION FOR A CANADIAN PUBLIC POLICY
REPORT OF THE SENATE SPECIAL COMMITTEE ON ILLEGAL DRUGS
SUMMARY, SEPTEMBER 2002
There you have it, evidence that cannabis is not a cause of other drug use, that it is not a gateway drug, and that, given the evidence that cannabis is not more harmful than caffeine, it is a safe drug.
It was originally because of racism that marijuana was made illegal in Canada.
Thus the law is inherently racist but currentlyt targets a benign drug culture of whose members, very few of them have acted harmfully towards themselves and/or others.
At the very least, given evidence that alcohol and tobacco are many times more harmful, why are they not also included in any drug law nationally? Why are they treated separately? Because they are legal and any addiction to them is treated as a health problem.
Indeed, it is because both alcohol and tobacco have been regulated by the government. Consequently the media has "hidden" alcohol and tobacco from public scrutiny, and thus downplays their role in violence and/or death in Canada?
If so, then it may be possible that marijuana is demonized by media and by legal enforcement agencies for moral reasons unrelated to whatever potential harm this drug may cause. Essentially then, mass media has practiced propaganda against marijuana first by targeting an ethnic group and later by doing the following: associated early use in grade school with symptoms associated with idiopathic schizophrenia, used hyperbole to exaggerate the risk of lung disease caused by smoking marijuana, and used ad hominem attacks against regular marijuana users.
As well, the aggressive methods used by police to regulate marijuana use is a significent contributor to the rise in other drug use including methamphetamine, cocaine, and other stimulants.
If anything then the real gateway is the drug law, since it is because the law makes drugs illegal that criminals manufacture drugs for profit.
For legalization of all drugs would reduce the harm caused by such drugs.
CANNABIS : OUR POSITION FOR A CANADIAN PUBLIC POLICY
REPORT OF THE SENATE SPECIAL COMMITTEE ON ILLEGAL DRUGS
SUMMARY, SEPTEMBER 2002
There you have it, evidence that cannabis is not a cause of other drug use, that it is not a gateway drug, and that, given the evidence that cannabis is not more harmful than caffeine, it is a safe drug.
It was originally because of racism that marijuana was made illegal in Canada.
Thus the law is inherently racist but currentlyt targets a benign drug culture of whose members, very few of them have acted harmfully towards themselves and/or others.
At the very least, given evidence that alcohol and tobacco are many times more harmful, why are they not also included in any drug law nationally? Why are they treated separately? Because they are legal and any addiction to them is treated as a health problem.
Indeed, it is because both alcohol and tobacco have been regulated by the government. Consequently the media has "hidden" alcohol and tobacco from public scrutiny, and thus downplays their role in violence and/or death in Canada?
If so, then it may be possible that marijuana is demonized by media and by legal enforcement agencies for moral reasons unrelated to whatever potential harm this drug may cause. Essentially then, mass media has practiced propaganda against marijuana first by targeting an ethnic group and later by doing the following: associated early use in grade school with symptoms associated with idiopathic schizophrenia, used hyperbole to exaggerate the risk of lung disease caused by smoking marijuana, and used ad hominem attacks against regular marijuana users.
As well, the aggressive methods used by police to regulate marijuana use is a significent contributor to the rise in other drug use including methamphetamine, cocaine, and other stimulants.
If anything then the real gateway is the drug law, since it is because the law makes drugs illegal that criminals manufacture drugs for profit.
For legalization of all drugs would reduce the harm caused by such drugs.
Two Puffs Did It for Me
BC Bud has to be one of the highest sources of 9-THC. Though I've yet to manufacture my own 11-THC by buying and eating a hash brownie, that may be on my list of to-do marijuana experiences.
For now, let me tell you about my recent pot experience: I sucked two puffs two times somewhere in the armpit of Surrey, Newton.
After about an hour of feeling intoxicated, I got let off at the Newton Exchange. Then I climbed aboard the 324 to Surrey Central Exchange.
What a busride! I had no clue where I was for most of the trip, but managed to get let off at 132nd Street and 104th Avenue.
My walk home was uneventful.
When I arrived home, I promptly went to bed, mainly because I didn't feel like sitting still on the computer, trying to thread thoughts into something comprehensible.
About three hours ago, I finally got out of bed. For about five hours in bed, I was probably sober. Though I based my sobriety on the ability to have an erection, I didn't notice a change until the following morning, possibly around 10 AM. :P
However, the best thing that I've experienced was as I was sobering up the night before, feeling calm and without any racing thoughts indicative of hypomania.
Yes, I experienced no psychosis, not even anxiety.
Even so, I appear to be a "pussy" when it comes to pot, as it took two puffs to render me stoned.
Kudoes to my best friend, M, her friend D. and N. This is fucking awesome!
For now, let me tell you about my recent pot experience: I sucked two puffs two times somewhere in the armpit of Surrey, Newton.
After about an hour of feeling intoxicated, I got let off at the Newton Exchange. Then I climbed aboard the 324 to Surrey Central Exchange.
What a busride! I had no clue where I was for most of the trip, but managed to get let off at 132nd Street and 104th Avenue.
My walk home was uneventful.
When I arrived home, I promptly went to bed, mainly because I didn't feel like sitting still on the computer, trying to thread thoughts into something comprehensible.
About three hours ago, I finally got out of bed. For about five hours in bed, I was probably sober. Though I based my sobriety on the ability to have an erection, I didn't notice a change until the following morning, possibly around 10 AM. :P
However, the best thing that I've experienced was as I was sobering up the night before, feeling calm and without any racing thoughts indicative of hypomania.
Yes, I experienced no psychosis, not even anxiety.
Even so, I appear to be a "pussy" when it comes to pot, as it took two puffs to render me stoned.
Kudoes to my best friend, M, her friend D. and N. This is fucking awesome!
20070402
Follow the Ways of Goodness
Be loving, be kind
And follow the ways of goodness.
Committed, and longing for the goal,
Always keep going with courage.
To dally and delay will not help you.
But to be ardent is sure and safe.
When you see it, cultivate the path,
So you will touch and make your own
The Deathless Way.
-Psalms of the Early Buddhists
And follow the ways of goodness.
Committed, and longing for the goal,
Always keep going with courage.
To dally and delay will not help you.
But to be ardent is sure and safe.
When you see it, cultivate the path,
So you will touch and make your own
The Deathless Way.
-Psalms of the Early Buddhists
True Non-violence
True nonviolence must be based, first of all, on a secure sense of one’s own value as a human being. Violence toward others, far from being an expression of self-worth, is based on a repression of one’s sense of vulnerability which then translates into hostility toward others. The most violent men are those with the deepest fears of their own impotence. Training in nonviolence must be based on spiritual or personal development and empowerment of the self. An empowered self will not accept its own degradation, or that of others. -- Rosemary Ruether, in Feminism and Peace
Likewise, the most violent people are those with the deepest fears of their own impotence and powerlessness.
Thus non-violence is based on self-empowerment and self-worth through honest expression of one's sense of vulnerability.
To emphasize this point, let me paraphrase the Buddhist quote regarding the true warrior:
Though a thousand people
may submit to him,
only he who submits to himself
is the true warrior.
Likewise, the most violent people are those with the deepest fears of their own impotence and powerlessness.
Thus non-violence is based on self-empowerment and self-worth through honest expression of one's sense of vulnerability.
To emphasize this point, let me paraphrase the Buddhist quote regarding the true warrior:
Though a thousand people
may submit to him,
only he who submits to himself
is the true warrior.
Evolution of Racism in Canada After 1946
Much of the racism in the post-war period consisted of the use of verbal displays of animosity not backed up by government policy.
What helped aid in preventing government policy from affecting all ethnic communities began with the citizenship given to Japanese and other nationalities living in Canada from 1947 onwards. It helped that Diefenbaker, of Saskatchewan, was elected to power in the 1950s. He helped mold the Canadian psyche to accept the ideal of pluralism, where each citizen did not see himself as a hyphenated Canadian. Later, in the 1970s, Trudeau pushed the ideal of multiculturalism where ethnic communities could celebrate their heritage.
During the next 50 years, bias and prejudice evolved from attacks on the Japanese as a racial group to personal attacks on individuals within the Japanese community who did not conform to social pressures to "blend in." Any racial incident between a Japanese person and another person was seen as reflecting badly on the Japanese people as a whole.
As a result, the motivating forces of shame and guilt about Japan losing the war led the Japanese of the post-war era to assimilate into Western society, with a few of them remaining in the Interior of Canada, and the majority migrating eastward to urban centers east of the Rockies. However, a minority of Japanese-Canadians took the option to return to Japan after the war.
When Japanese who assimilated into mainstream society in Toronto moved back to B.C. to retire, they discovered cultural differences between themselves (who were higher educated and spoke mainly English) and the Japanese who never left B.C. (most of whom graduated high school but had varying command of both English and Japanese). In response, a few Japanese from Toronto who retired in B.C. soon realized a sense of loss due to the after-effect of internment. This has led to identification with victims of the Japanese militarists' regime between 1936 and 1945 in Asia, including victims of bio-chemical warfare in North Korea, Asian "comfort" women, and prisoners-of-war both Asian and non-Asian in prison camps throughout S.E. Asia.
In 1988 Japanese redress issues were resolved by the Canadian government through token payment to all Japanese born before 1946 and the establishment of the Canadian Race Relations Foundation. Since that time, anti-racism education has enlightened most of eastern Canada and urban centres in Western Canada.
By 2001, racism was seen as a person's cultural biases and prejudices rooted in fear of other cultures. In some ways, racism is a fear-based tool used by a person or group of people rooted in the psychological dynamics of the inferiority-superiority complex. The subconscious fear of racial inferiority results in an imagined racial superiority of one's own culture, while the fear of inferiority is projected as inferiority of the other culture. Rather than inquiring about them, the racist projects her fear about the other culture in a socially inappropriate manner.
Thus, the key to overcoming racism is through education.
What helped aid in preventing government policy from affecting all ethnic communities began with the citizenship given to Japanese and other nationalities living in Canada from 1947 onwards. It helped that Diefenbaker, of Saskatchewan, was elected to power in the 1950s. He helped mold the Canadian psyche to accept the ideal of pluralism, where each citizen did not see himself as a hyphenated Canadian. Later, in the 1970s, Trudeau pushed the ideal of multiculturalism where ethnic communities could celebrate their heritage.
During the next 50 years, bias and prejudice evolved from attacks on the Japanese as a racial group to personal attacks on individuals within the Japanese community who did not conform to social pressures to "blend in." Any racial incident between a Japanese person and another person was seen as reflecting badly on the Japanese people as a whole.
As a result, the motivating forces of shame and guilt about Japan losing the war led the Japanese of the post-war era to assimilate into Western society, with a few of them remaining in the Interior of Canada, and the majority migrating eastward to urban centers east of the Rockies. However, a minority of Japanese-Canadians took the option to return to Japan after the war.
When Japanese who assimilated into mainstream society in Toronto moved back to B.C. to retire, they discovered cultural differences between themselves (who were higher educated and spoke mainly English) and the Japanese who never left B.C. (most of whom graduated high school but had varying command of both English and Japanese). In response, a few Japanese from Toronto who retired in B.C. soon realized a sense of loss due to the after-effect of internment. This has led to identification with victims of the Japanese militarists' regime between 1936 and 1945 in Asia, including victims of bio-chemical warfare in North Korea, Asian "comfort" women, and prisoners-of-war both Asian and non-Asian in prison camps throughout S.E. Asia.
In 1988 Japanese redress issues were resolved by the Canadian government through token payment to all Japanese born before 1946 and the establishment of the Canadian Race Relations Foundation. Since that time, anti-racism education has enlightened most of eastern Canada and urban centres in Western Canada.
By 2001, racism was seen as a person's cultural biases and prejudices rooted in fear of other cultures. In some ways, racism is a fear-based tool used by a person or group of people rooted in the psychological dynamics of the inferiority-superiority complex. The subconscious fear of racial inferiority results in an imagined racial superiority of one's own culture, while the fear of inferiority is projected as inferiority of the other culture. Rather than inquiring about them, the racist projects her fear about the other culture in a socially inappropriate manner.
Thus, the key to overcoming racism is through education.
A Pacifist's Stance on All Forms of Violence
All forms of violence are not justifiable, not even homicide, rape and war.
No one is excused from violence of any kind, regardless of whether it is subtle or blatant.
Thus crimes of passion in reaction to a slight or an insult may be perfectly understandable, but the criminal still must either plead guilty or, having plead not guilty, be judged.
For the Laws of Hammurabi are incompatible with progress.
This is why Canadian justice has no death penalty.
Here are Sixteen Ways to Fight Sexual Violence.
No one is excused from violence of any kind, regardless of whether it is subtle or blatant.
Thus crimes of passion in reaction to a slight or an insult may be perfectly understandable, but the criminal still must either plead guilty or, having plead not guilty, be judged.
For the Laws of Hammurabi are incompatible with progress.
This is why Canadian justice has no death penalty.
Here are Sixteen Ways to Fight Sexual Violence.
20070401
'Moral panic' of drug laws isolates users and fuels crime
MOST people who take illegal drugs do not cause any harm to themselves or anyone else, according to a study which calls for the current "crude" ABC classification system be abandoned.
The two-year RSA Commission on Illegal Drugs argued that Britain's drug laws should be replaced by a system which recognises that drinking and smoking can cause more harm.
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Current laws are "driven by a moral panic" and a more effective drug policy would focus on harm reduction rather than cutting crime, the commission's report concluded.
The report said: "The use of illegal drugs is by no means always harmful any more than alcohol use is always harmful. The evidence suggests that a majority of people who use drugs are able to use them without harming themselves or others."
The flaws in drug policy are demonstrated, it claimed, by the categorisation of ecstasy along with heroin and cocaine as a Class A drug. Such a classification "probably does most to undermine the credibility of our drug laws in the eyes of that section of the population that is most likely to use drugs: namely, the hundreds of thousands of people for whom 'dance drugs' are a routine feature of a good night out," the report said. - The Scotsman, March 9, 2007
Substance use is not solved by criminalizing use based on morals, but based on education and harm reduction.
By using moral panic, drug laws criminalize drug users as traffickers, and the way laws are written, serve to manufacture drug criminals.
Thus drug war policies only cause harm and worsen drug use.
Only education and harm reduction are necessary, not draconian drug laws.
The two-year RSA Commission on Illegal Drugs argued that Britain's drug laws should be replaced by a system which recognises that drinking and smoking can cause more harm.
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Current laws are "driven by a moral panic" and a more effective drug policy would focus on harm reduction rather than cutting crime, the commission's report concluded.
The report said: "The use of illegal drugs is by no means always harmful any more than alcohol use is always harmful. The evidence suggests that a majority of people who use drugs are able to use them without harming themselves or others."
The flaws in drug policy are demonstrated, it claimed, by the categorisation of ecstasy along with heroin and cocaine as a Class A drug. Such a classification "probably does most to undermine the credibility of our drug laws in the eyes of that section of the population that is most likely to use drugs: namely, the hundreds of thousands of people for whom 'dance drugs' are a routine feature of a good night out," the report said. - The Scotsman, March 9, 2007
Substance use is not solved by criminalizing use based on morals, but based on education and harm reduction.
By using moral panic, drug laws criminalize drug users as traffickers, and the way laws are written, serve to manufacture drug criminals.
Thus drug war policies only cause harm and worsen drug use.
Only education and harm reduction are necessary, not draconian drug laws.
The Occasional Drug User's Manifesto
- I will research any drug, its side effects, pharmacology, and toxicology before procuring any such drug.
- I will take 25% of the minimum dose to feel a noticeable effect.
- I will not take more if I feel no reaction to prevent intoxication.
- I will urge at all times moderation in use of any substance
- I will report my experiences after use including how others could benefit from the experience.
- Less is more. Therefore I will advocate against drug binges or swift reaction to stress with a drug.
Dangerous Drugs Decriminalization/Legalization
Rates for people with substance abuse would be 2-6%.
With drug education, including information regarding risk of mania and/or psychosis and to reinforce that substance use is not "getting high" or "having fun" but "entering a probably manic and/or psychotic state of mind through the use of intoxicating drugs", potential users have the choice between entering a potentially harmful state of mind or not.
This also includes recreational use of pharmaceutical drugs which may induce hypomania e.g. benzodiazepines, anti-depressants, and neuroleptics.
However, emphasis must be made on increased drug education to replace the deceptive use of euphemisms for substance use i.e. "getting high", "having fun" and street slang for substance use with the correct terms i.e. "substance use which causes transient states of mind which may induce behavior consistent with hypomania, mania and/or psychosis".
It is drugs laws that make recreational substance use harmful and such drugs dangerous.
This article promotes substance use with informed consent within the context of safe set and setting. It does not promote the current circumstances as criminalized by current local and State laws.
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